A/N: I knowwww it's been a good minute.
Lockdown in the UK was lifted and after a whole four months off the industry I work in was finally able to operate again mid July so that's where I've been. Work.
Was determined to get this up though before this weekend and here we are.
Thank you as always to those still following this mess and for leaving me your kind words. They make my day. T^T
Anyways, let's get on with the show shall we?
I give you: Downward spiral Kai.
Enjoy.
K~
Chapter 22 – I said it was the last time last time.
Knocking the remaining mouthful of his drink back, so used to the amber liquid trickling down his numbed throat he may as well have been sipping on water, Kai set the empty glass back down on the bar counter he was sat at and took a glimpse down to his Rolex watch.
The text said he'd meet him here at ten thirty and it was nearing on midnight now...
He suppressed the low growl wanting to escape his throat.
Where the fuck was he?
He'd like to say if he was kept waiting any longer he'd just leave and go home but Kai knew he wasn't going anywhere. Not until he got what he wanted at least. Or perhaps even needed right now...
Lifting his head up, he took another glazed look around the dimmed place with his already tired and strained eyes and within seconds his nose crinkled in disgust on what he'd just locked on.
Why is it the second you go through a break up all you see is love?
It's everywhere!
Everything from sappy songs on the radio, to seeing couples walking hand in hand...
Can't even come out for a drink without having to watch a game of tonsil tennis going on in the corner. Ugh. Put her down, you don't know where she's been...
After another sneer at the oblivious couple, he turned his attention to the aging bartender behind the counter several feet from him serving two males dressed in suits. Upon catching his eye for a moment he silently ordered himself another drink by raising his empty glass up.
He was gonna need another one with that going on in his peripheral vision...
A small sigh escaped through Kai's nose as he let his head drop again and let his blurred out vision zone out further. He stared into his glass like he had the whole world on his shoulders and his mind was both plagued with thoughts yet blank at the same time.
It had been several days since Ray had walked out and left him. Several days since he'd packed up his things and several days since he told him he didn't love him anymore.
Each night since then had been agony.
Kai had messaged him countless times via both text and Facebook, but hadn't gotten a single response back.
He'd called him more times than he'd like to admit but each one went straight to voicemail.
Out of desperation one night he'd even tried to force his way into Tyson's place just to see him, but after being told Ray wasn't even staying with him anymore he had to just leave embarrassed, tail between his legs and come back home; Drowning his sorrows once again in a bottle just so he could try and forget the ache that now resided in his chest.
He was barely sleeping. Had zero appetite. He hadn't even gone into the office or attempted any work at home as he couldn't bring himself to face anyone and it wasn't like he could focus anyway. He just switched his phone off in the end, the relentless calls daily had started to become hard to ignore.
The business could go under for all he cared, he was over it all - Completely.
Wasn't like he'd ever wanted any of it in the first place. It had just been thrust upon him and he had no choice but to go along with it and deal.
It's right what they say - money doesn't buy you happiness at all. His happiness had come from the priceless love of another. It had been Ray that brought him that, and had been all along.
He realised now that without him he was nothing...
Regardless of his many successes, the fame, the fortune...
He was miserable.
Empty.
Broken.
A pathetic shell of a man that didn't care anymore. Couldn't care. Not about anything, anyone and especially not about himself.
Why would he? He was disgusting. A monster.
A worthless, heartless piece of shit that didn't deserve anything but to be alone where the only life he could screw up was his own.
His musings came to a halt when he caught the front door to the bar open in the corner of his eye and took a sly glance to the hooded male that had just sauntered in like he both owned the place and had all the time in the world.
Finally... Asshole.
The two shared a nod of their heads in acknowledgement once they'd locked onto each other, a short verbal greeting followed, paired with a very brief handshake once the taller one in the hoodie reached where he was sat. Presumably friends or associates at the very least the male behind the counter thought, but he wasn't paying much attention to them now as he started to pour yet another whiskey for the one in the crisp white shirt.
Hiwatari he believed he was called. One of the big shots that owned a corporation not far from here.
How this guy was still standing he wasn't sure but whilst he was tipping and not causing him any trouble he'd keep on serving.
He'd seen this kid a lot lately come to think of it. Every other night he'd come in with slight dishevelled slate hair and kept himself to himself texting on his phone, knocked several drinks back over the space of a few hours and then left.
They'd only ever exchanged a handful of words during the times he'd seen him. Polite pleasantries is all. Wouldn't consider it conversation.
But even with the stoic, unreadable expression and dry cleaned attire he was dressed in to obviously keep up appearances, he could tell the young male was troubled.
He'd served enough businessmen in these parts to recognise when a man was on his knees close to breaking point no matter how well put together they made themselves look on the outside.
Part time drink pourer, part time agony aunt usually. Came along with the job as a barman listening to punters drone on about their life's woes and him give some form of advice, but Hiwatari was clearly the strong and silent type. Never divulged on anything that kid even when he'd asked.
Reaching over the counter, the fresh glass of gold was set down in front of him and Kai fished out and held out a bill in exchange. The male in the hoodie that had been stood beside him walking away now, and had pulled open the front door to leave in the same leisurely way he came, a cool gush of evening air sweeping in before the door came back to a close.
"That was short and sweet?" The older male commented, taking the money being casually held out to him between two fingers and gesturing to the exit on his right. "Just a flying visit?"
Kai made a sound that suggested he hadn't heard him at first as he lazily turned his head to him but upon processing the others words went on to answer him.
"Ah yeah, was just, in the area." He brushed off with a shrug, his lie slurring some as he lifted the fresh whiskey up to his lips again and took a decent swig of it before setting it back down.
"Hey, watch that for me?"
The bartender gave him a curt nod as he dried off a glass with a rag cloth and eyed Kai gingerly ease up from his seat and meander in his inebriated state towards the bathroom door over to the left.
He set the clean glass back on the shelf behind, draped his cloth over his shoulder and rest his hands on the counter.
Sure, he'd watch the drink for him. But getting it spiked was surely the least of the guy's worries considering what he suspected he was willingly about to go and put in his own system in there.
He shook his greying head.
Kid must think he was born yesterday...
Sauntering over to the restrooms, Kai pushed open the wooden door of the gents when his bleary vision locked onto a seemingly younger sandy haired female stepping out of the door adjacent. The mixed aroma of hairspray and perfume radiating through causing him to pause in his tracks.
The two seemed to hold each others intoxicated gaze as she stepped past to leave, their thoughts of each other obvious and Kai's line of vision even dared to drop lower on her once she had turned to sashay back to her mojito.
He wasn't usually a fan of blondes but those green eyes were gorgeous...
Unsticking his feet he pushed his way inside and Kai scanned himself over in the large mirrors that sat above the sinks. Fussing with his hair some he straightened his shirt too before slipping into a stall after concluding the place was empty.
Having shut the door and locked it behind him, he reached into his trouser pocket and pulled out the small ziplock bag the dealer had slyly passed to him when they shook hands. His hazy eyes examining it, checking for, fuck knows what, before he got down to it.
He hadn't done this since before he and Ray had got together. Hadn't needed such a high anymore as just the mere scent of the other male took him straight to cloud nine.
For someone trained to be so strong willed he really was weak when it came to any form of temptation...
If only he'd have resisted this time though then Ray would still be by his side and he wouldn't be knelt down about to do what he was. They could've worked through it all. Fixed it somehow...
However it was only a matter a time anyway before Ray finally saw sense and moved on to someone more stable. Though, Mariah was a debateable choice on that one.
Whilst Ray had screamed to him that he didn't care for the girl and she was nothing to him, (which he half believed...) there was nowhere else he could possibly be right now.
If he wasn't at Tyson's then where the hell was he? He had to be with her...
Unless of course Tyson had just been covering for him and he'd been hiding upstairs the entire time but like any of it mattered anymore.
They were done, finished. Ray didn't want him anymore and that was that.
Anyone would be a better choice than himself right now so he didn't exactly blame Ray for shutting him out and wanting to move on... Still didn't erase the fact his entire spirit was crushed and he wasn't even sure if he wanted to go on anymore.
Okay that was dramatic. He didn't want to die but... he wasn't exactly keen on living either.
He felt like he was right back to that eighteen year old that had been thrown in at the deep end in running a company making billions annually simply because of his last name. Dealing with mountains of paperwork on the daily, a phone stuck to his ear for hours on end and constant fucking emails wanting something from him.
Stressed out to all hell and having no one there to support him through any of it or help him see the light at the other end of the tunnel.
He was entirely numb to all that he was going through right now.
Thinking about it, he could have gone into work perhaps. Make a last attempt at trying to convince himself he could go back to normal. Bounce back like nothing had happened and he was fine.
Was only a relationship. Big deal.
He'd had walked away from many all throughout his life and hadn't given them a second thought.
But like Kai had really gone back in time, things were far from fine and he was right back to turning to anything that would make him forget his actuality, drown out the mental torment and help him feel something - anything.
Oh. And like shit wasn't bad enough, just to add insult to injury, it was clear that redheaded prick had grown bored of him too.
The tables royally turning there seeing how it had been Kai reaching out for the sin late at night now. Sometimes Tala entertained him and responded, sometimes he didn't.
He guessed the thrill of it all had passed now for him since it would only be Tala doing wrong. Now it was all one sided he was no longer clinging to whatever fantasy the two of them had created, and had been so desperate to continue that had ultimately destroyed only one man's reality.
It boiled his blood knowing Tala probably just skipped right on home after that. Sauntered through the front door with his usual strut and gave a kiss to his wife and child like he hadn't just been balls deep in someone else half an hour earlier.
God he was an asshole...
Kai had actually toyed with the idea of making their whole seedy affair public knowledge. Accidentally on purpose let slip to Tiffany about it all who would undoubtedly run straight to Bianca, do his dirty work and tell all.
Why should he be the only one suffering the consequences here?
Why should he be the only one sat here alone, drinking the pain away every night whilst he was still all shacked up with his family like nothing had fucking happened?!
Tala had chased him!
Sure, he didn't exactly run from him, had allowed it all, but he hadn't been the initiator in any of this.
Kai couldn't bring himself to do it though...
If Bianca hadn't already had the baby by now she was dangerously close to, and receiving that kind of news would surely be devastating. It would rip the entire family apart and he didn't want to be the one responsible for that.
He knew what it was like to grow up with an absent father and even though it had taken two to tango if Tala wasn't going to be a man and admit to what he'd done, then he could just go on and live with it for the rest of his life, he didn't give a damn.
Karma would come to bite him in the ass eventually. Once a cheater always a cheater, right? Was only a matter of time before he got caught... But for now, what Bianca didn't know wouldn't hurt her he figured.
So, with all that said and done, his own life gone to shit once again, what else was he supposed to do when hard liquor and casual sex wasn't cutting it anymore?
Go for something stronger.
As Kai knelt on the black tiled floor, he lowered the toilet seat to a close for his makeshift table, and reached for his wallet to pull out his credit card and a paper note.
His glazed eyes darkened as he carefully opened up the small ziplock bag, tipped it and tapped out some of the white powder onto the lid before using the black card to separate the pile and manipulate it to cut himself two thin lines.
Setting the credit card down, he tightly rolled up the bill and positioned himself over one of the trails, pushing his other nostril to a close with a finger and sharply inhaled.
Immediately lifting himself up he tilted his head back and forcefully sniffed a few times, pinching at his nostrils to diminish the burning sensation within them now before leaning down again and snorting the other line in the same fashion.
Screwing his eyes shut he let out a grunt, rubbing at his nose again and once he was satisfied nothing remained within them his fair hand then dusted away any residual evidence of what he'd just resorted back to and let out an exhale from his mouth.
This scene was a whole new low for him. He realised that. Turning to drugs whilst alone in the male's restroom was something he'd never imagine he'd sink to.
When he was younger snorting lines was only a social thing. Almost strictly in fact.
The outside world and 'businessman lifestyle' was all new for him of course, and it was only natural he'd end up getting mixed up with a whole new bunch of associates, but he didn't want to be another statistic. He knew booze and drugs didn't mix well so didn't fancy risking his life on the regular like most did.
Coke was just the norm for this industry which he quickly learned. Kept the people of importance going when deadlines needed to be met and they were losing steam.
Coffee in the morning, cocaine in the afternoon.
Work hard and party harder so they say...
Wasn't exactly his style but he couldn't stand the numbness anymore at the time.
Easing himself up from the floor with a slight groan, Kai's back instantly met the side of the stall. The whiskey alone was having him stagger and sway so needed something to steady himself and allow his mind to space out further than what the alcohol buzz was already doing for him.
Whilst it had been a while he knew it wouldn't be long until the effects of the drug took hold of him, and true to his memory within minutes a rush of euphoria engulfed him causing his eyes to roll to a close, his head to fall back against the stall wall and the bill to unravel from his fingers and drop to the tiled floor.
There it was. Finally. He felt something.
Riding on the high he raised his hand and slid it down his cheek. His face may have felt numb to touch, but the feeling that was coursing through his veins now had him feeling on top of the world.
Disgusting? Worthless?
Kai chuckled to himself.
Ray never fucking deserved him anyways, was hardly a loss.
He gave that guy everything and it wasn't ever enough. Odd for someone who came from nothing but a flea ridden village; He'd have thought he'd have been fucking grateful to save him from all that. Worshipped the damn ground he walked on like so many others had done before him and still do.
Did Ray not realise he could've had anyone he damn well pleased and he'd chosen him of all people? He'd had his choice of anyone he desired before because it had been easy pickings! He'd lost count of how many men and women had practically flung themselves in his direction, legs wide open, offering themselves to him on a silver platter and like the absolute God's gift he was had feasted daily like a king.
Did Ray not know whose arm he'd had the privilege of hanging off of all these years?!
He'd given him fucking everything. Did he really think he'd have a decent job, in the best restaurant in town if it wasn't for him?! A nice home? Like hell would Ray have accomplished such things on his own if it wasn't for his damn influence.
Yet here he was, spending every night with some village lowlife being his reason to wallow in self pity. Drowning his sorrows and think he had nothing to live for.
Another laugh escaped him.
The fuck was he so upset for?! Really?! He knew he was a catch!
Successful, loaded, ridiculously good looking, hung like a fucking horse!
The list goes on!
He could have Ray replaced by the end of the damn night if he wanted to!
Clumsily opening up the restroom door, legs seeming like he could run a marathon with the amount of energy he felt he possessed right now, they remained in place though as Kai locked with the same green eyes from earlier that had clearly lingered and waited for him by the door.
Excluding how brazenly he'd looked her up and down just now, his entire demeanour was far from suggestive as he leisurely swaggered out. Almost seemed like he wasn't giving her a second thought and was just heading back to his seat, but apparently he was still inviting all the same as the blonde dared to step beside him, link her arm within his and walk like they were already an item.
He silently followed her lead as she took a slight detour heading for the back door and assured him he shouldn't worry as she just wanted to 'show him something.'
Kai's lips curled into a mischievous smirk.
And people claimed he was unapproachable...
Things were going to be absolutely fine. He needn't have gotten himself so worked up. A small fix was all he'd needed. He wasn't even giving Ray a second thought now that his tongue was forcibly swirling with another and his hands were groping at what they could.
He pressed blondie back up against the stone wall in the alleyway, her hands just as hungry for him as they found their way into his hair and down by his crotch. Two intoxicated bodies becoming rapidly familiar with the scent and taste of the other as Kai roughly sought for dominance and took it with ease.
One of his hands quickly found its way under her skirt and she instantly melted under his touch. The same way they always did, deeply under his spell and Kai knew it so took full advantage.
The whole scene was a heated blur. The cool night air assisting somewhat but with heart rates racing along with wandering hands and grinding hips it didn't provide much solace.
His hand slithered out from where it had nestled between her legs, wet fingers snaking all the way up her slender body before crawling behind her neck and taking a fist full of hair to roughly yank her head away from his lips and break the kiss.
She let out a helpless whimper though smirked up at him ready for his command.
"Get on your knees."
He felt invincible. Sitting on a whole new level of arrogance right now that would even surpass Tala's especially as she obliged to the order without protest and sunk to the floor with her coy smile still intact. Her manicured nails pawing and cupping at the bulge before making quick work at undoing Kai's belt.
Emerald was fixed upon ruby the entire time as her tongue prepared her plump lips with a flirtatious lick of them before setting Kai free from his pants and engulfing him whole.
His white teeth sunk into his lower lip and a grunt escaped his throat at the warm sloppy sensation that was now around him. One of his hands rested up on the wall in front of him whilst the other raked through the blonde hair and forcefully guided her to quickly learn and adapt her throat to take it just how he liked.
He was a dangerous man when in this current reckless state.
He was a force to be reckoned with on a normal day but being fuelled by drugs not even Kai recognised the man he was right now.
Tears started to stream from the eyes below along with muffled chokes at the rough assault on her throat but Kai gave no regard. He didn't care for her well-being in the slightest so long as he got what he wanted...
And he always got what he wanted.
He suppressed his moans of pleasure as the random mouth worked him, being mindful that they were in a public place, but gave credit where it was due. Praising the female with domineering words of encouragement, he stroked almost lovingly at her head bobbing up and down him and gazed with lust filled eyes at the performance.
She wasn't the best, though far from the worst. Was clear she'd had many a dick in her mouth but he felt men just knew how to do this better...
Several minutes of bliss passed by when the fistful Kai had on the light strands tightened and a curse came from his throat. Throwing his head back his body shook with his release, his lips parting in a silent cry as the high of his orgasm was intensified immensely with the cocktail of substances currently soaring through his system.
He continued to roughly use the mouth like he would his own hand, easing her head up and down, riding it out until the ripples of pleasure simmered and the grip on the hair loosened.
He finally graced her with eye contact. Her mascara smudged some though his expression still lust drunk all the same as cum started to spill from the swollen lips that were still wrapped around him.
He slowly pulled himself out of her mouth, his already husky tone coming out even darker as he ran his thumb over the smeared red lipstick and gave his order before she even thought about doing anything else.
"Swallow."
With his hand cupping her jaw and his thumb pressed against her lips she reluctantly obeyed, wanting to please the attractive stranger further even though she knew she'd never see him again after tonight.
Kai's expression remained plain as he'd expected the obedience completely.
"Good girl..." He purred, allowing her to stand.
Tucking himself back into his trousers the blonde rose back to her feet and too adjusted her leather skirt. She foolishly went onto her tiptoes for a kiss though once Kai had pulled up his zipper he turned on his heel and strolled away from her.
He'd heard a scoff come from behind and an insult was hurled his way immediately after though like he cared what some slut who gives head in alleyways thinks of him.
What was she expecting, a thank you?
He could chuck her a twenty he figured but he was already back onto the main street and his parked car was now in sight.
Was time to go home and put another shitty day to bed.
Part of him knew he shouldn't drive.
He was high but he wasn't stupid.
He'd even said to himself as he continued to stumble on towards his car that he should get a cab; leave the Merc where it was and come get it in the morning. He'd get a parking ticket sure, but would hardly break the bank.
It was another part of him that was in control though. The super confident doped up on whiskey and cocaine part of him that assured him there'd be barely any traffic on the roads right now given how late it was and he'd be fine.
He was a good driver.
He'd be way over the limit, but was ok, he felt fine.
The buzz from the coke was wearing off now anyways.
He'd be fine.
Kai slumped into the driver's seat, entire body feeling heavy as he took in a deep breath and slowly exhaled. His pale hands circling the steering wheel in front like he was familiarising himself with it.
Now he was finally alone, all sounds of music, chatter and other distractions leaving his ears, the thoughts that plagued him started to creep back. Haunting him almost.
Whilst he was in the company of others he was left be but the second he was by himself...
He raked both hands through his hair, taking in another breath though it was shuddered.
That was the problem with cocaine, the high never lasted all that long.
For once he wished the problems he'd left on the ground would have disappeared by the time he came back down but they were always still right there waiting for him. Taunting him almost.
He snapped his eyes back open as his head had lulled forward. The rain that had started to come down, pattering on his wind shield had provided him with a moment of peace. He wasn't ready to take it yet though.
He had to get home. Was only a few blocks away. Ten minutes if that. Fifteen max if he took it steady now with the down pour. Then he could crawl into bed, and attempt to get some much needed sleep.
Starting up the car, Kai pulled away from the street he was parked on and just like he'd suspected, it was late, and there wasn't a single car in sight. Maybe the odd taxi but the roads were pretty much clear.
With his hand resting on the steering wheel, he let out a yawn and propped his other arm up bent against the window, his head resting on the palm of his hand.
With the heavy rain and the windscreen wipers being the only noise caressing his ears Kai zoned out and let his mind wander...
xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
"Move in with me..."
The sudden blurt from across the dinner table caused Ray to choke on his food, the comfortable silence that had fallen upon them as they ate well and truly broken now as he coughed and pat on his chest to help get it down.
"W-what?" he managed once he'd swallowed, his wide eyes locked on the male opposite.
"I said move in with me." Kai repeated in a small awkward chuckle, thinking now that perhaps he'd jumped the gun here but he'd been wanting to bring this up for over a week now.
Things had been going great between them the past few weeks. Amazing in fact.
Ray pretty much stayed most nights of the week here anyway so, it made sense, no?
"I know we said we'd take things slow, and you can of course say no if you're not ready, but..." Kai played with his food some, moving it around on his plate before looking up again.
"I just want you to know Ray that this isn't just a fling to me... I'm honestly the happiest I've been, in a long time, and it's all because of you..."
Ray's heart swelled as Kai's words settled in his ears.
First he cooks him dinner and then drowns him in an outpour of emotion that he'd never seen from him before.
Was this really the same moody kid from all those years ago?
"Kai..."
"Will you?"
"Yes..."
Kai felt like he could burst. Standing up from his end of the table he stepped over to Ray where he was sat, cupped his face and pressed his lips against his.
"Good... I'll let you have some ice cream now with your chocolate pudding."
Ray made a face though chuckled.
"Wait. So if I'd have said no I wasn't going to get dessert?"
"Oh no, you'd have got dessert." Kai assured, waving him off as he sat back into his seat opposite and reached for his glass of wine. "But I'd have just saved all the ice cream for myself once you left..."
Ray's chuckle transitioned into belly laugh once he briefly saw the small pout before it was hidden by the rim of the glass.
"Aw Kai!" He continued to laugh. "Well, you always were one to sulk when you didn't get your own way... probably for the best I accepted. Don't want you crying into a tub of ice cream all night over me."
Kai smirked setting his glass down.
"My waistline thanks you."
The laughter that had settled erupted once more, and there did end up being a lot of tears that night as the light hearted banter they often dealt out continued further into the evening, the ice cream being shared between two spoons over a movie snuggled up on the couch.
"I don't get it!" Ray complained, pointing his spoon at the TV. "So he loves her, but she loves him, but he's the bad guy?"
Kai burst out laughing again, another set of tears ready to fall from his eyes, as he held onto his tight stomach. He must've explained the plot to him three times now, if he wasn't getting it by now there was no hope for the kid.
The arm that was around him squeezed him a little tighter.
God he loved this man... he'd leave that confession for another day though...
xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
Kai just let the silent tears fall down his cheeks. Stinging eyes looking to the blurred road ahead of him though weren't focused at all.
He missed him.
Missed him so much it fucking hurt.
No amount of work, substance, or therapy would erase that fact.
He didn't need a drink, a line or even a fucking holiday, he just needed him!
He roughly wiped at his heavy eyes and sniffled feeling utterly helpless.
Five more minutes... he'd be home in five more minutes...
xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
"I love you."
Ray's senses were still clouded, chest graced with a thin film of sweat, heaving slightly as he caught his breath. The waves of tingling pleasure starting to simmer throughout his body as he came down from his high.
His heart was racing, even more so now at finally hearing what he'd been dying to say himself for a while now though hadn't wanted to scare Kai off.
Whilst he knew his old team captain had mellowed immensely over the years, when it came to expressing how he felt he was still the same old Kai. Sure he was a lot more open to a degree, but nine times out of ten he still kept everything bottled up until he couldn't hold it any more and burst.
He rolled his heavy head to the male beside him, taking in the dishevelled slate hair and soft expression.
"You do?" He breathed out, and Kai nodded to him to confirm.
Easing himself up onto his arm Kai hovered over him like he had been the past hour. A fair hand stroking at the tanned cheek before going to move a stray lock of hair off Ray's clammy face.
"Have done for a while." He admitted in a hushed tone, "Just didn't want to scare you off I guess..."
Ray huffed a laugh as he leant into the soft touch.
"That's why I hadn't said it yet. Didn't want to scare you off."
Kai seemed to frown some, his own mind still fogged up right now as he put two and two together.
"Wait, so you...?"
Ray let out another soft chuckle.
"Yes Kai..." He figured he was going to have to spell this one out for him.
"I love you too... have done for a while..."
It took a moment, but once the words had registered in his mind Kai's face actually lit up, giving Ray one of his rare warm smiles before he lowered himself and pressed his lips against the others.
"I love you." Kai then repeated when he broke the kiss, a childlike giddiness clear in his tone and his smile transitioning to a grin as he gazed down at him.
Ray reached up and cupped his cheek.
"I love you t-"
"-I love you." Kai interrupted, the three words he never imagined himself ever uttering rolling out of him now shamelessly, tone seeming like both a statement and a question at the same time. The realisation had been amazing before, but actually saying it a loud was something else entirely!
"I love you! I love you, I love you, I love you!"
He buried his face into Ray's neck, placing quick tickling kisses along his skin whilst his hands went at his sides, laughter coming from Ray in an instant.
Kai felt like some kind of weight had been lifted of his shoulders. The worry he'd originally held long gone now.
He loved him, and Ray loved him back.
Sleep had been amazing ever since Ray had moved in, closing his eyes and waking up to that gorgeous face he couldn't get enough of. Though that night, knowing what he did now, it was especially a good nights sleep...
xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
Kai's eyes drowsily prized back open when the blaring sound of a car horn made it to ears. His eyes immediately shooting wide with fear at the sight of two bright headlights staring back at him dead on.
A cried expletive ripped through his throat and completely on autopilot grabbed hold of the steering wheel with both hands and quickly turned it to dodge the oncoming truck.
With the speed he was going the abrupt change of direction caused the car to not only swerve but spin. The tyres screeching along the wet tarmac as he desperately tried to recover from the harsh manoeuvre.
As skilled of a driver he was, even if he was completely sober he didn't have a chance in hell of regaining control of the car, especially with the heavy rain beating down causing there to be less friction on the road.
The momentum was unwavering, the whole thing seeming to occur in slow motion when before Kai knew it he was turning.
The car had flipped.
Completely disorientated all he could do was brace himself, cradling his head with his arms to protect himself as the car continued to overturn, his seatbelt clinging to him for dear life, painfully digging into his skin refraining him from being launched out of the now cracked windscreen though his body was still being flung and jerked like a rag doll.
The sound of glass shattering and metal bending and dragging along the solid concrete was almost deafening.
The air bag within his steering wheel had detonated, causing the shards of glass from both the driver and passenger side windows to fly around him, grazing and slicing his skin.
It seemed an eternity before the car's momentum died down and finally came to halt. Feeling like he was on a deadly roller-coaster for hours the car settled and landed thankfully the right way up.
His arms fell limp to his side, his chest panting in and out of him like he'd just sprinted a mile, lungs working over time trying to come to terms with all that had transpired the last 30 seconds. His eyes glazed over as he slipped in and out of consciousness, desperately trying to stay focused on the cracked windscreen to stay awake.
The air bag in front of him started to slowly deflate and after a few minutes he'd regained control of his breathing though his heart still pounded in his chest.
His eyes blurred over again and a single tear rolled down his cut cheek, mixing with his blood and landing on his white collar.
He just sat there. Perhaps too shocked to move, or more so in acceptance.
He knew he shouldn't let his eyes fall closed. That was rule number one of a potential concussion. But he couldn't keep them open anymore.
He was tired. Drained.
Physically, mentally and emotionally.
He was done.
A faint siren was heard in the distance and blue lights were the last thing he saw.
And then everything faded to black...