Thank you everyone who's reading this story! I'm having fun exploring the relationship of these two characters and I hope you're enjoying it too. Please review and let me know what you think.
Arizona picked up Sophia and continued on with her night. Dinner, homework, reading time. After a few hours, there was a knock at the door. Arizona opened it to a teary eyed Amelia.
"Hey, are you ok?" Arizona asked.
"I...I don't want to talk about it," Amelia responded.
"That's ok," Arizona said. "Come in, can I get you anything?"
"Who's here?" a young voice said as Sophia peaked out of her room.
Amelia quickly wiped her eyes as Arizona stepped to the side.
"It's Amelia, Zola's Aunt! Do you remember her?"
"Of course I do mommy! She always sneaks us snacks after bedtime."
"You weren't supposed to tell anyone that!" Amilia said, forcing a smile.
"I'll pretend I didn't hear that," Arizona laughed. "Come on, come in. Need something to drink?"
"No, thank you. I'm ok," Amilia responded, looking uncomfortable.
Sophia looked at Amelia for a moment before tugging on her mom's sleeve and pulling her down to whisper in her ear.
"Ahhh, I think that's a great idea!" Arizona said at a normal volume. "Sophia here thinks that you look sad and so we should have ice cream to cheer you up."
The innocence and pure kindness of Sophia made Amelia's heart ache.
I don't deserve this.
Before Amilia could respond, Arizona was in the freezer pulling out tubs of ice cream.
"What flavor would you like? We have cookie dough, mint chocolate chip, ooorr peanut butter swirl."
"I want the mint one mommy!" Sophia chimed in.
"I'll take what the kid is having," Amelia added.
This felt so normal. Picking out ice cream flavors at the end of the day, Sophia's excitement palpable. It made Amelia uneasy how comfortable she realized she could be in this. It reminded her of home.
"Can we watch a movie too?!" Sophia asked, practically vibrating.
"Sure sweetie, what do you want to watch?" Arizona answered.
"Hmmm, how about Brave! Come on, let's go!"
Sophia grabbed Amelia's hand and started pulling her towards the living room. Amelia looked back at Arizona, panicked. Arizona mouthed the words 'I'm sorry', but followed behind them. Sophia didn't even make it halfway through the movie before falling asleep. Arizona picked her up and carried her to her bed before rejoining Amelia on the couch.
"So, do you still not feel like talking about it?" Arizona asked.
Amelia sighed, "The meeting was fine. Great actually. Everyone was so understanding and sympathetic. Even Richard. He...he talked to me about some of his slip ups. And how he trusts I'll do what it takes to get control again…"
Arizona looked confused, "I don't understand. What's bothering you then?"
Amelia rolled her eyes and said, "I almost accidentally killed my sister yesterday because she's trying to help Owen and be forgiving of Penny. Instead of...of hearing her out or...or trying to see her side, I...I was being petty and childish. And like a child, I drowned out the pain. Instead of facing it. I threw away everything. Yet so far, all anyone has done is forgive me. Except for the one person whose forgiveness matters most. She might never get to even get to hear me apologize!"
Amelia was on the verge of crying again, she took a deep shuddering breath before continuing.
"Do you ever feel like your emotions are just too much? They make you feel sick and heavy and exhausted. Like every nerve in your body is on fire but you can't do anything about it. I can't handle feeling like this. That's why I use. It numbs everything, just for a little while."
"Oh, I get it," Arizona said and Amelia looked surprised. "When I was in the helicopter crash and lost my leg, I felt like I was drowning in my emotions. Fear, anger, hatred, greif. I felt all of it at once and I couldn't stand it. I didn't have a way to numb it, so I was just cruel to everyone. Especially Callie. It was a dark place to be. But, I promise you, working through it is way better than burying it. And even though it feels lonely as hell when everything surges up and tries to pull you under, you are never alone. All of us have spent our time in the darkness, we're familiar with its depths, we'll help you through it how ever we can."
Amelia locked eyes with Arizona, a tear trickling down her face and said, "I don't know if I can make it through this time."
Arizona pulled Amelia into an embrace, Amelia's tears flowed freely and her shoulders shuddered with every breath.
"Shhhh. It's ok, it's ok," Arizona whispered, rubbing Amelia's back.
The two of them stayed like that until Amelia's sobs slowed. She pulled back from Arizona and wiped her face.
"God, this is so embarrassing," Amelia said. "I thought I was finally getting away from it. The label of addict. I'm right back to feeling like that defines me."
"That will never define you, Amelia. You know what does define you? Your strength, your resilience, the fact that you are a world renowned surgeon who is a valuable member of our team at the hospital. You do things that no one else would even dare to try and you do it well. Your addiction is a part of you, yes. But, it isn't all of you. Not even now."
"You didn't know me then Arizona...I was...it was...you just didn't know me…" Amelia trailed off. "Can we talk about something else?"
"Of course!" Arizona responded, looking a little caught off guard by the request to change topics. "What do you want to talk about?"
"What's your favorite movie?" Amelia asked, visibly burying the emotions that were bubbling up just a second ago.
Arizona thought for a moment and responded, "Hmm, I'd have to say...Mama Mia."
Amelia rolled her eyes and laughed, "Of course you'd be a musicals kinda gal.
"What's that's supposed to mean?!" Arizona said, feigning shock.
"Nothing, nothing. Just that you're a little bit predictable."
"Why? What's your favorite movie?" Arizona asked as she folded her arms.
"Insidious...I'm a big fan of thrillers," Amelia said smugly.
"Ohh ho ho, trust me, you're predictable too," Arizona said. "I've actually never seen that though."
"Oh my goodness, we have to watch it!" Amelia exclaimed.
"Shhh, my kid is asleep," Arizona chuckled. "We can watch it. But, only if we get more ice cream first."
"Yes please!"
Arizona knew Amelia was just trying to be distracted from everything else going on, but she didn't mind. If it helped Amelia feel better, Arizona would do anything. She went and grabbed the ice cream tub and two spoons before returning to the couch. As soon as they were settled, Amelia pressed play.
The pair slowly ate their ice cream, Arizona's eyes glued to the screen and Amelia's flittering between the screen and Arizona's reactions. The first jump scare caused Arizona to twitch and shift closer to Amelia. At the next, she reached out and grabbed at Amelia's arm. Eventually, she was burying her head in Amelia's chest and grasping her sleeve. Amelia wriggled her arm out of Amelia's embrace and wrapped it around her shoulders.
"You doing ok?" Amelia asked.
"Y...y...yeah," Arizona stuttered.
"We don't have to keep watching if you don't want to," Amelia offered, sounding concerned.
"No! It's ok, I p...promise!" Arizona insisted.
"Ok, if you're sure," Amelia responded hesitantly.
The movie continued and Arizona's grip just got tighter. Amelia held Arizona close, every so often whispering to her that 'it's ok, it's just a movie'. When the credits started to roll, Arizona didn't move.
"Hey, the movie is done now," Amelia said, leaning to the side slightly to try to look at Arizona's face.
"I know, I know. I need a minute," Arizona explained.
"Alright, you take your time," Amelia said, rubbing Arizona's back slowly.
After a moment, Arizona sat up and took a deep breath.
"You good there champ?" Amelia asked.
"I'm not one to usually watch scary movies."
"I noticed! Do you want me to put something else on, something happier in order to wind down?"
Arizona shook her head and yawned.
"I honestly just want to go to sleep," she said.
"Ok, how about I take the couch tonight and you can have the bed," Amelia offered. "After all, it is your house."
At the mention of separating, Arizona straightened and looked slightly alarmed
"What's wrong?" Amelia asked.
"I think...I'm afraid to be alone. Could we...I'm sorry if this is awkward but...could we…"
"Stay together tonight?" Amelia interrupted. "Of course we can."
Arizona visibly relaxed.
"We could go sleep in the bed?" Arizona suggested.
Amelia agreed and flipped on her phone flashlight before turning off the TV. The pair stood up and Arizona quickly grabbed Amelia's hand. They got about halfway to the bedroom before Arizona froze.
"Wait!" she exclaimed and Amelia stopped. "Sophia has some extra nightlights. Can we go grab one?"
Amelia looked at Arizona amused, but empathetic and said, "Of course we can."
They quietly shuffled into Sophia's room and Amelia made sure to angle the light away from the sleeping child's face. Arizona quickly grabbed a nightlight that was sitting as a decoration on Sophia's dresser. Once they were back in the master bedroom, Arizona plugged the light in and crawled into bed. Amelia climbed in beside her and Arizona shifted closer. One look in the blonde's direction and Amelia could tell she was still terrified.
"Come here," Amelia said as she raised her arm, offering Arizona to rest her head in the crook of her shoulder.
Arizona looked grateful as she moved into Amelia's arms. Feeling protected, she fell asleep quicker than she was expecting. But, Amelia laid awake, the events of the day running through her mind. She couldn't believe it had only been that morning that she was messed up in the hospital. That felt like an eternity ago. Just as Amelia was beginning to doze off though, Arizona woke with a start.