Thank you so much to everyone who is reading! I hope you're all doing well and staying safe. Please review and let me know what you think! I'm honestly not entirely sure where I'm going with this. So, if you have anything you'd like to see, comment and I'll try to work it in.
"Hey, hey. Arizona, it's ok. You're ok. It was just a dream," Amelia said gently.
Arizona didn't respond, she just sat there practically hyperventilating.
"Arizona," Amelia said, reaching out to brush the hair back from Arizona's face. "Arizona, look at me."
Arizona's eye's locked with Amelia's, the fear in them was palpable.
"Ok, focus on me," Amelia instructed. "Listen to my voice, my breathing. I've got you. Do you want me to turn the light on?"
Arizona nodded. So, Amelia leaned over to switch on the lamp on the nightstand. As she moved, Arizona grabbed her hand.
"I'm right here, I'm not going anywhere," Amelia stated. "What do you need? What can I do for you?"
"Just stay with me, please."
Amelia pulled Arizona into her arms and held her there until she could feel Arizona start to relax. After a bit, Arizona pulled away.
"I'm so sorry," Arizona said. "It's been a long time since I've had a nightmare that bad."
"It's ok! Do you want to talk about it?" Amelia asked.
Arizona hesitated at first and then said, "I dreamt that I was astral projecting like in the movie. And as I was walking through the spirit realm or whatever it is, I came across what looked like a forest. It turned out to be the site of the helicopter crash. I tried to leave, to find my way back. But, no matter what direction I went, I always ended up back in the forest watching helplessly as we fought for our lives. Again and again…" Arizona trailed off, a tear trickling down her face.
"That sounds awful," Amelia said.
"I used to get dreams like that a lot more frequently, about the crash that is," Arizona explained. "I've worked through a lot of my PTSD from it. But, some of it will probably always still linger."
"That's more than understandable. What you went through, from what I've heard was...traumatic. And that's putting it lightly. I'm sorry I had us watch that movie, being so on edge couldn't have helped," Amelia apologized.
"Psh, neither of us could have known! Don't worry about it. I just appreciate you helping me calm down some."
"Of course! You know, when my dad died, I used to get nightmares all the time. I usually ended up crawling into Derek's bed because I knew he'd protect me. He came up with this game to help me relax and go back to sleep. We'd describe where we wanted to be, what we wanted to be doing, and with whom. Then we'd imagine that we were in that place. When I finally fell asleep, I usually ended up having dreams of our imaginary adventures," Amelia responded.
"That's really sweet," said Arizona.
"We could try it if you want? It might feel a little silly at first. But, it might be worth a shot," Amelia suggested.
"Sure, alright. You go first though, I want to see how you do it."
"Hmm, alright. I'd like to be...on vacation somewhere far away. It doesn't really matter where. Maybe somewhere warm, with a beach. I'd go to the spa and be pampered. I'd eat some of the most delicious food I'd ever had and lay out on the beach. Maybe do one of those scuba diving experiences. No matter what though, I wouldn't be thinking about work or Derek or Mer. I'd be in my own little peaceful bubble."
"That sounds really great actually," Arizona laughed. "I would not complain about having that kind of vacation."
"Where would you be, if you could be anywhere?" Amelia asked.
"I'd probably be taking Sophia on an adventure somewhere. Maybe Disneyland or maybe someplace a little more unique. Either that, or I'd be doing a road trip across the US. Stopping at all the national parks and seeing as much of the country as I could. I'd drive with the windows down and music blaring, sleep in whichever motels have room, and try to really immerse myself in the culture where-ever I go," Arizona responded. "I moved around a lot as a kid. But, I usually didn't get to enjoy the places we landed. I mostly saw the inside of military housing. So, I'd like to travel for fun instead of for my dad's job."
"That sounds like a lot of fun actually. You know, I've kinda always wanted to do that. But, with countries. Like, take a sabbatical and travel the world. I'd try to spend a couple of weeks in each country and only stay at local inns."
"That would be amazing! The food, the experiences, the interesting people." Arizona said.
Amelia nodded, "Yup! Someday I'll make it happen."
The pair were silent for a moment. In the quiet, Amelia became much more aware of the strange combination of comfort and unease she was feeling. This, the dinner and movie and snacks and sleeping next to Arizona, felt so juvenile (like a childhood sleepover) but reassuring. She felt like she could relax and just be herself. She wasn't sure what it was about Arizona that made her feel that way. And that's where the unease came in. Amelia was always loud, she always appeared to be telling the world who she was. But, the really important stuff, the emotional stuff, that usually got buried. The silence and Amelia's thoughts were interrupted by Arizona yawning.
"Do you want to try to sleep some more?" Amelia asked.
"I do, but I'm also a little afraid to. Would you mind if we just turned the TV on for a little? The background noise might help to distract me."
"Of course!" Amelia agreed.
It wasn't long until Arizona dozed off, her head falling to rest on Amelia's shoulder. Amelia, on the other hand, was stuck awake again. As her mind wandered, she was itching for drugs or booze. But, there was no way she could move without waking Arizona. She wouldn't want to disturb her anyway, she looked so peaceful. Instead, Amelia just rested her head on Arizona's and eventually fell asleep.
In the morning, Amelia woke up to the smell of pancakes and bacon. When she walked into the kitchen, Arizona greeted her with a smile.
"Good morning!" Arizona said cheerily.
"Morning," Amelia mumbled, rubbing her eyes.
Sophia came out of her room and gasped, "Pancakes?! Mommy, you never make pancakes!"
"Well, we have a guest this morning. So, I figured I'd do something special," Arizona explained.
"Hurray! Can Amelia stay over every night?" Sophia exclaimed.
"Hmm, I don't know about every night. But, she's welcome to stay over whenever she needs!" Arizona responded, making eye contact with Amelia.
Amelia smiled shyly and said, "Thanks."
Not much later, the pancakes were ready and the three of them sat and ate. Arizona and Amelia didn't get to talk much because Sophia was jabbering on about the social dynamics of her favorite toys. After the meal was done though, Arizona asked Sophia to go wash up.
Once Sophia was out of the room, Arizona turned to Amelia and said, "Thank you for last night."
Amelia shrugged, "Oh, no problem. Did you sleep ok after...everything?"
"Yeah, no more nightmares the rest of the night! Hey, what are your plans for today?"
"Honestly, I'm not sure. I'm suspended. So, no surgery. I could probably go to some meetings. It'd keep me occupied at least."
"Mmkay, that sounds like it could be good! You're welcome to stay here again tonight if you want. We could order-in for dinner again, I can grab something on my way home?" Arizona said.
Amelia looked a little uncomfortable and answered, "I don't know...I don't want to impose…"
Arizona reached over to rest her hand on Amelia's wrist and said, "You aren't imposing, I'm inviting you."
The warmth and the comfort of that simple action made Amelia's stomach flip. As tough as she acted most days, deep down she needed care and affection sometimes. And Arizona had just been so sweet and understanding, she could feel her walls starting to come down.
"Ok, I'll stay tonight. But, let me pay for dinner." Amelia responded.
"Deal!"
With that, Arizona left for work taking Sophia with her. Amelia got ready and left for a meeting. At least that's where she told herself she was going.