Chapter 3: Transportation
Kaito was exhausted in school again, having spent most of the night before (at the heist) looking up information on what being 'trans' actually meant. Considering Sera's agreement that it was an awkward thing, Kaito had wondered if it might actually work as the tool to push Aoko away from the young magician's ever growing feminine persona.
It had turned out to be a much more interesting subject that Kaito had first predicted, and Kaito's phone had been out, displaying articles and blogs all day, whenever the teacher wasn't looking. It was such an interesting new world to explore, and one that Kaito had never thought much about before (studying magic tricks and phantom thievery were somewhat all consuming).
Aoko was giddy as she waited for Kaiko. They were going to grab some curry, and then she would put forward the offer of bringing Kaiko along to meet up with Sera's other friends. Openly being with a girl around other people like that... it made her nervous and excited at the same time.
At least the girls from Beika were still just acquaintances. Having Kaiko meet her proper friends back in Ekoda was something that still made her too nervous.
Plus, that would get confusing, having Kaiko, Kaito, and Keiko all together. Why so many important people in her life had such similar names, she couldn't begin to guess.
"Sorry I'm late," Kaiko's voice called out.
Her breathy voice sent a pleasant tingle down Aoko's spine. It made Kaiko seem somehow fragile, and set off Aoko's urge to protect her, even though the other girl was not insignificantly taller than Aoko was.
"Tokyo public transit after school is always chaos. Aoko was late too," Aoko said as she turned to her girlfriend with a smile.
"Well, it's good to hear you weren't waiting too long," Kaiko replied. "Looks like a nice little restaurant."
Kaiko leaned over, reading the menu on display, and smiled. "Decent prices too. Won't burn through my whole allowance."
"Aoko doesn't get too much for an allowance either, so cheap is probably best."
The pair headed in, Aoko ordering a hamburger curry while Kaiko ordered a cheese and squid one. The pair got chatting, Kaiko blaming her tiredness on staying up late to study for a chemistry test. The pair the started talking about school in general for a bit, though Kaiko was a bit mysterious about many things. Aoko supposed it just meant she was nervous, Kaiko continuing to be a confusing mixture of confidence and shyness.
Glancing over at a clock and seeing the time, Aoko realised she needed to bring up the plans for part two of the meet up, and awkwardly cleared her throat.
"Aoko was wondering... would you like to go meet up with Masumi-kun and her friends after this?"
Kaiko blinked, briefly looking like a deer in the headlights. "Pardon?"
"Ah, well, Aoko... er, I'm still getting used to this whole 'dating a girl' thing. When it's just the two of us, I feel very comfortable, but I... I eventually want to be able to introduce you to daddy and my friends, and... well, Masumi-kun and her friends are still sort of strangers, so it feels easier to get used to things around them first? I think? Does that make sense?" Aoko asked, worrying she was rambling incoherently.
"Oh, uh... I guess it does?" Kaiko offered.
"For some reason, Masumi-kun was also very enthusiastic about bringing you along for a 'all girls' event... do you not get to go to those much?" Aoko asked, wondering what Kaiko had told Sera and not her. She hoped it was nothing to worry too much about, but people around her keeping secrets got stressful.
To her surprise, Kaiko coughed and sputtered, taking a few moments to compose herself.
"N-no, I... Uh... I'm not sure how to explain this..." Kaiko mumbled, growing visibly lost in thought for a few moments. "I guess the best way to say it is just to say it? I'm er... I'm trans?"
Aoko blinked. The term was familiar, but... she was blanking for the moment.
"Transgender?" Kaiko added.
"Oh!" Aoko replied. Now she could place it. Only... "If you don't want to be a girl, then we shouldn't be dating, should we?"
It was Kaiko's turn to blink again. "Now I'm confused."
"Well, if you're a girl now, but you want to be a boy, then isn't dating a girl who likes girls an odd choice?" Aoko asked, beginning to worry she was misunderstanding how all this worked.
"Aah! No-no! I'm not a girl who wants to be a boy! I'm a boy who wants to be a girl!" Kaiko blurted, before turning bright red and dropping her gaze to study the empty plate of curry in front of her.
For a moment Aoko swore she saw steam shooting out of Kaiko's ears. She found herself quietly studying Kaiko, hunting and failing to find any signs of masculinity. It took her a moment to realise Kaiko's voice had dropped on the final sentence. It had also felt strangely familiar, though Aoko was too caught up in the moment for trying to figure out who she was reminded of.
Still too confused to come up with a reply, Aoko found herself noticing folks at other tables looking their way. Many of the nosy patrons wore judgmental looks, and Aoko shot the best stink eye she could back at them. She might not quite understand what was going on, but Kaiko was kind and made her happy, and she didn't like seeing anyone giving looks like that towards Kaiko.
Finally, Kaiko looked back up at Aoko, guilt filling those normally sparkling blue eyes.
"I..." Kaiko began, before losing steam.
"If you say you want to be a girl, then Aoko will treat you like a girl. Anyone as kind and gentle as you is someone I will trust," Aoko said, mustering up determination.
It wasn't that she didn't trust Kaiko, just that she wasn't quite sure she understood everything. Along with not being sure she knew what and how to ask.
"B-but... I've been lying to you," Kaiko whispered.
"Masumi-kun seems to know more about all this than Aoko does, and she approves of you, so... Aoko thinks you weren't lying. Besides... it means you grew up thinking you'd date girls, right?" Aoko asked.
"I guess?" Kaiko replied, looking a bit confused.
"So you're used to the idea of dating a girl, but not being one. Meanwhile, Aoko is used to being a girl, but new to the idea of dating one. That seems like a good situation to help each other to me," Aoko said, her mustered confidence turning real.
Kaiko still seemed about as frazzled as Aoko felt, but nodded.
Feeling her cheeks go hot, there was one thing Aoko couldn't shake from her mind, and so had to lean in to ask. "Um... I did always think that newhalf type girls always liked boys though? That that was part of the whole thing?"
"I... er, I kind of thought the same until stumbling into doing research," Kaiko muttered, back to studying her curry plate.
"Well, Aoko is glad, because you have been a very delightful girlfriend so far," Aoko said with a nod. "So good at makeup too. Aoko is a little jealous."
"Ah, my, er... my mother is very good with makeup, and I loved to watch her, growing up? So I picked things up that way?" Kaiko replied.
Aoko nodded. "I only have my dad. He's definitely not much help. Tries though, and I appreciate it. Bought Aoko a bunch of foundation... but it was totally the wrong shade."
Kaiko giggled a little, a smile gracing her face again at last, and making Aoko's heart flutter. She might be confused, but that she could hold on to.
A part of her wondered if this was cheating, to have her first girlfriend be born a guy, but... well, she hadn't known when they'd started, so that had to count for something? Or, maybe it wasn't cheating at all?
She was going to ask Masumi about all that later. Kaiko seemed much too fragile to spring all that one right now. Assuming it was ever proper to bring up.
"I, um... I guess I would kind of like to go meet up with Masumi and her friends?" Kaiko offered weakly. "Because... yeah. I've not hung out in an all girl environment properly."
Aoko nodded, starting to stand up, when she noticed how Kaiko was still blushing. "If it's too much for one day, we can try another time?"
"No, no. I'm alright to go," Kaiko replied. "And, uh... thank you. For being so understanding."
"Aoko's not sure if 'understanding' is quite the right word. There's a lot I still don't understand, but... I will try," Aoko said, trying to give the most reassuring smile she could.
"Well, thank you for that at least," Kaiko replied, getting up herself.
As the pair headed out the door and to the nearest train station, Aoko couldn't help wondering why Kaiko still looked so lost in thought.
Kaito barely registered the short train ride over to Beika. The familiar sight of Tokyo zipping past was nothing next to the weird feeling bubbling in the young thief's stomach. That outbursts, the declaration of 'being a boy who wanted to be a girl', hadn't felt like it was about being in character. When it had happened, it had come from Kaito's heart.
The young thief was completely lost in what it could mean. Well, not completely lost, but the obvious answer was intimidating.
When they finally arrived at their stop, Kaito decided to swallow the dilemma for now. It was poker face time, as there was a part to play. Kaito was a professional, after all.
"Sorry we're a little late," Aoko said, having phoned one of the girls while Kaito was zoned out. "We're at the Haido City Mall now though... where are you guys?"
Kaito couldn't quite make out the reply, but Aoko nodded cheerfully and gave a thank you. The pair then set off to the nearest map, finding the 'you are here' marker after a few moments, before Aoko hunted down a specific second location. Kaito followed along quietly, wondering what the plan was.
It turned out to be the food court that they were meeting up at, the Beika girls just finishing up their assorted meals. Both Ran and Sera had impressive amounts of food, but Kaito supposed that made sense with them being active martial artists. Thankfully, Conan was nowhere to be seen, allowing Kaito to relax a bit. There was no way that Kaito could handle the pint-size detective right now, regardless of how innocent Kaito might be in this circumstance.
"Ah, so you're Kirino-chan?" Ran asked, her innocent smile not to far from the one Aoko often wore, and nearly as dangerous to Kaito's heart beat.
"Yep, that's me," Kaito replied, trying to play natural.
"I thought she'd be more butch," Sonoko said, giving Kaito a once over.
"Oy. Not every lesbian couple is a femme-butch duo," Sera muttered.
The verbal reprimand was accompanied by a glare from Ran that caused Sonoko to shrink a little.
"Sorry, sorry," Sonoko said. "I see why Nakamori and Sera both said you're cute though."
Kaito felt a bit awkward about the compliment, in part because they were due to a mask and not Kaito's actual face... a realisation that made Kaito feel rather odd. Feminine, even? Still, confidence had always been one of the young thief's strong points, so maybe it was just that?
Introductions followed, Kaiko 'learning' the names of the Beika girls. That was an amusing event from Kaito's side. Then they drifted off to wander the mall. Kaito soon felt distracted from thoughts and confusion by the fun of hanging out with the other girls: goofing about in the photobooth, trying to help Sonoko with explaining makeup to Sera, browsing a few clothing stores (Sonoko bought some things, but the rest of them lacked the budget), and being a bit confused when Ran and Sera dragged the rest of them to a martial arts supply store.
It was only as the five of them parted ways, and Kaito hopped on a quiet train with Aoko, that how natural it had all felt really clicked.
"That was nice," Aoko said, as their train sped across Toshima ward. "Aoko supposes, there was a touch of awkwardness, but that's just what comes with being the only couple present, right? If Mouri-chan or Suzuki-chan had brought their boyfriends then that awkwardness wouldn't have been there... I mean, not that it was about you being at an all girls gathering or anything! If Sera had a girlfriend and brought her, that would have the same affect!"
Kaito blinked, taking a moment to register what it was that Aoko was worried about. "I didn't think it was about adding guys."
Aoko nodded nervously. "Still, sorry. Aoko is trying to just think of Kaiko as Kaiko and a girl, but knowing things are complicated..."
"I do wish things were a bit less complicated," Kaito added, mind on things that Aoko was oblivious to.
There was a bit more of a pause, Aoko looking nervous during it.
"Sorry I'm not talking more," Kaito said, eyes looking at the city zip by outside the train. "I guess I'm more zonked from staying up last night than I expected."
"Well, sleep better tonight, okay?" Aoko said, her eyes deathly serious.
"Will do," Kaito replied with a salute and a smile.
Before anything else could be said, the announcement for Nerima's Ekoda Station rang out.
"Ah! This is Aoko's stop, um..." she muttered, before turning bright red. With a whisper, she added: "Aoko wishes she could kiss you on the cheek right now."
"Why can't you?" Kaito whispered back.
"That sort of public thing is scandalous enough with a boy and a girl. With two girls... Aoko's not sure how people would react," Aoko replied.
"Oh... right. I guess that's the sort of thing that's more obvious to you?" Kaito said, having completely missed that context.
Aoko grabbed Kaito's hand for a moment, smiling, before the train came to a stop and she had to hurry out.
Kaito stayed on the train an extra stop, before sneaking off to a washroom to change from Kaiko mode back to normal every day Kaito. The transformation left the young magician a little annoyed, staring for a moment at the boy in the mirror. Was Kaito just growing to like that face made for Kaiko, or... was it that dressing as a guy again was starting to feel like it might be a disguise?
Confused, Kaito headed home. Stopping by the convenience store on the way home, Kaito grabbed a few chocolates and an energy drink. There was need for one last push of energy before sleeping for the night, and going straight to bed felt far too tempting right now.
Getting home, and tossing shoes off, Kaito hurried to the computer. Chugging the energy drink, it was time to hunt for a chat group of some sort on trans issues. Kaito had questions that needed answering...
After a bit of browsing, one option stuck out for reasons Kaito couldn't quite place. Chalking it up to Kuroba family luck, Kaito signed up, looking up some instructions on where to do introductions. Then, nervously, Kaito typed in a message.
Cheerful Phantom: Hello. I'm new to all this, but... after a series of misunderstandings, I've stumbled into a situation that has me thinking about gender, and... do you have any advice for figuring out if I might be trans or just caught up in researching it?
Kaito let out a breath after writing that. It was an awkward first step, but felt good to get out.
Sappy Girl: Hi there, Cheerful Phantom and welcome to the group. For your question... getting caught up in researching these matters is often a sign all on it's own.
Cheerful Phantom: Thanks for the welcome. Are there any other signs? I'm, uh... kind of trying to get a quick answer.
PlumHana: Quick answers are hard. Media can be a good thing to check. To see how you related to characters. If some really stick out to you, and you feel a bond to trans or coded characters, that would be another sign.
Kaito nodded at that. It made sense.
Cheerful Phantom: Any specific shows you'd recommend?
Miss Yuki: Wandering Son is the classic.
Plum Hana: Wandering Son only shows if you have a heart. It's good, but it doesn't have the ambiguity needed. I'd say something sillier, like Ranma 1/2, Stop! Hibari-Kun!, or... maybe They Were Eleven!.
Sappy Girl: Those are all at least a little Showa. It's the Reiwa era! Try something more modern, like Zombie Land Saga.
Plum Hana: No respect for the classics.
Tiger Boy: I'd say looking at your childhood is a good place. Look for times you envied girls. Wanting to... learn makeup and stuff? Gender and interests aren't the same thing, but they tend to correlate. (The gals can probably give more relevant examples for you.)
Miss Yuki: Yeah! Being interested in girls' fashion, while not caring about your own clothing, that's one. Maybe feeling a desire to push others away as puberty hit? Not because of them, but just... feeling like you're drifting away from guys?
Kaito stared at that for a while. Retreating away from Aoko had, honestly, started in Middle School, with the teasing from classmates, the Kid stuff had just made it worse. Accusations of being gay back then... those had bothered Kaito. It had felt wrong, and that had bothered Kaito far more than the intended insulting nature. Kaito liked attention from guys while disguised as a girl on heists, but... it was a firm 'look, don't touch' feeling.
Maybe, what was really fun about it, was the affirmation of looking cute in disguise. Girl disguises had always felt more fun, despite the added effort of padding they required over most male options.
Watching as more ideas popped up on the screen, more and more things mentioned felt relatable. It felt like an avalanche of unnoticed truths. Maybe it was exhaustion leading to Kaito wanting the easy answer right now, but it was looking pretty hard to argue against right now.
Cheerful Phantom: I have to admit... I didn't think the answer would hit me this hard and fast, but... I guess I'm not just academically curious.
This just leaves two questions: am I allowed to say I'm a girl, and... am I allowed to say I'm a lesbian?
Miss Yuki: Welcome to the club then! You can indeed call yourself both of those, if that's what you think fits. We don't have the most lesbians here, but, if your English is any good, we've got some sister channels with plenty.
Cheerful Phantom: I'll look into it.
Kaito took a breath, leaning back. It was all feeling so obvious now.
At least it meant she was only half lying to Aoko. She was, technically, a girlfriend. Kaito just had to figure out how to confess the truth without Aoko hating her.
Kaito (she was going to need a new name... and a real name, not 'Kaiko') grabbed her phone, and popped over to Masumi's number. After a moment's hesitation, she hit the text button, and typed in her message: "I have something serious to talk about. Can we meet up tomorrow?"
Unable to wait, Kaito grabbed a chocolate bar and began to pace as she ate it. Some small corner of her subconscious declared that, as a girl now, she should stop eating so many sweets and pay attention to her waistline.
That led to a laughing fit, Kaito doubled over and barely noticing as her phone vibrated. Nothing would make her give up chocolate and sugar.
Walking over to the phone, she was glad to see Masumi was free, and the pair quickly arranged a time.