DISCLAIMER I OWN NOTHING

"You gotta go out there eventually, daddy," Junior said, as Cleveland kept cowering under the safe room's table. "You'll never get out of this game otherwise."

"Junior I have been force-fed gross food that not even Lester and his backwards family would eat, beaten to death with a shovel, run over by a car, and followed around this crazy house by an old woman in a wheelchair popping up wherever I go!" Cleveland exclaimed. "I'm living every black person horror movie cliché all at once!"

There was a silence following the outburst, Cleveland kept peeking out from his hiding place before quickly ducking back under and covering his eyes.

"I guess you won't be able to have sex with the hot white girl in the basement then," Junior said.

Cleveland uncovered his eyes.

"Hot white girl?" Cleveland asked, before crawling out from under the table. "Sex reward you say?"

"Yep, in the basement," Junior said. "But if you're too scared to leave the room daddy I understand-"

"Cleveland to the rescue!" Cleveland charged through the door and down the stairs towards the basement. For the first time in what seemed like a few hours, things were finally coming up his way. Yanking the door open Cleveland came face to face with a tall dark monster that looked like it was made of soggy black licorice with long sharp claws on each hand. "Junior."

"Yes daddy?" Junior asked.

"You tricked me, didn't you?" Cleveland asked.

"Yeah, sorry," Junior replied. "Good luck."

Cleveland stepped back as the mold monster took a swipe at him, cutting his favorite yellow shirt.

"Hey! This is my favorite yellow shirt!" Cleveland exclaimed. "I only have one color of shirt to wear and this one was my favorite!"

Raising his pistol, Cleveland began firing into the monster, which began to slowly move towards him.

"Die! Die! Die! Die!" Cleveland yelled as he reloaded. Finally, the monster's head exploded from a well placed bullet. "That was tough, good thing that's the only one."

"Yeeeeeaaaaah, only one," Junior said slowly.

"Junior, is there something I should know?" Cleveland asked, he turned around to find several more of the monster shambling towards him. "I hate this game."

After several tries, and several deaths almost back to back, Cleveland finally managed to make it through to the boiler room.

"If I'm right about this daddy, all you need to do is beat this boss fight," Junior said.

"Boss fight?" Cleveland asked. "I gotta fight Mr. Waterman?"

"No, besides, you don't work for Mr. Waterman anymore," Junior said. "We're back in Quahog, remember?"

"Oh right, I gotta fight….. who's my boss?" Cleveland asked.

"just go fight daddy," Junior said.

Making his way up through to the second floor, Cleveland saw the last dog head piece he needed for the door. Just as he reached it, Cleveland was thrown down to the floor below.

"Ow! I landed on my keys," Cleveland complained, as he stood up and rubbed the sore spot on his leg. "Who the- oh hell no!"

As he turned around Cleveland saw Jack Baker grabbing a large, twin-bladed chainsaw. Seeing another, regular chainsaw, Cleveland grabbed it and quickly began pulling the cord.

"Come on! Come on! Come on!" Cleveland muttered, jerking the cord. "Start you stupid hunk of junk!"

When the chainsaw finally started, Cleveland was forced to duck an attack by Jack using his chainsaws like a pair of scissors.

"You got a trophy daddy!" Junior squealed. "I couldn't get that one!"

"Hooray," Cleveland sarcastically cheered. "I'm really gonna be able to brag about that."

Sidestepping another swing from Jack, Cleveland brought his chainsaw down into the middle of Jack's head. Pushing down, Cleveland sawed until Jack was bisected down the middle.

"Now it's over," Cleveland said, tossing his chainsaw away. "He's dead for good."

"Not exactly," Junior said. "I don't mean to spoil your good mood daddy, but-"

Cleveland tuned his fat son out as he made his way to the door. When he opened it, he found himself in a room with several lockers. The room was far cleaner than any of the other rooms he'd been in. a door sliding open with a hiss made him jump as a pale white robot with glowing red eyes walked into the room.

"Junior, what is that?" Cleveland asked, backing away from the robot. "I take it I'm in a different game now?"

"Correct, that's a working Joe robot," Junior said, just before the robot grabbed Cleveland by the neck and began strangling him.

"Please calm down," it said. "You're becoming hysterical."

"You have a weapon daddy!" Junior said, Cleveland pulled out a large wrench and began beating the robot around the head until it let go, and kept hitting it until it dropped to the ground.

"That was annoying," Cleveland said. "But I think I can handle a bunch of robot enemies."

"Daddy before you go through that door I need to tell you-"

Cleveland opened the door just in time to see a large black alien charging towards him.

"That's not fair at all," Cleveland said.

END CHAPTER 2