Disclaimer: I don't own FMA.

I stared.

And gaped.

And stared.

And gaped.

And stared.

And gaped….

"What?" Envy snapped. I shook my head, trying to process what is happening. This is not happening, its not happening…What should I do?!

But I knew what I was going to do. I had luckily planned it ahead of time. Oh, this'll be interesting.

"WOW! A real love humonculus! And a shapeshifter too! I'm guessing your Envy, am I correct?" I said excitedly, taking Envy by surprise. He nodded grudgingly and I squealed, jumping up and down.

"That's awesome! I've always wanted to meet you! You're my favorite humonculus!" I gushed, overflowing with enthusiasm. And the whole time Envy was giving me the "Damn lady you're insane" look. But I didn't care. I would've hugged him if he wouldn't hurt me for it. I prefer not to get kneed in the stomach, thanks.

I was currently smiling like an idiot, extending my hand to Envy.

"I don't think I ever formally introduced myself," I said, "I'm Lynette La'va." Envy still stared at me like I was crazy, ignoring the hand I held out. Huffing sadly I pulled back my hand, a slight disappointed pout on my face.

"You wanted to meet me? Ha! You're friends with the Elric brothers! Why would you want to meet me?" Envy chuckled in a dangerous voice. My nerves shot up.

"Well, smartass, who says I'm on their side? I mean, really. Just because I'm friends with them doesn't mean they own me." I said bravely. Envy was probably going to kick my ass, I know, but with ignoring my held out hand, he deserved to be called a smartass. Envy looked yet again surprised at my words, but then it turned into a sneer.

"Who's side are you on then?" He asked. I laughed.

"I'm on the side I feel like being on," I winked, "So it really depends what mood I'm in." But that wasn't true. I wasn't on the Elrics side, or the humonculi's side. I wasn't with either of them, but I had the option of helping and hurting both. Why? Because I was on Truth's side. The side that helped the story end like it was supposed to. I would try to make the story happen as if I were never here. Except, maybe change a few things, like Hughes' death and all…..

"But, if I was on your side," I said, pointing accusingly at Envy, "The others would call me a 'sacrafice'. I'm not a freaking sacrificial lamb for gods sake!" I complained. I didn't want to be called a sacrafice. Geez, a sacrafice! It's like reading the bible all over again.

"But, on the Elric's side, I'm a dog of the military, and once they find out the truth about the, they'll most probably use me to get what they want," I said nonchalantly, taking my finger down.

"What do you mean by the truth about you?" Envy said suspiciously. My eyes widened and I covered my mouth. I laughed nervously.

"What? Did I say that? There's no truth behind me," I laughed nervously. Damn my big mouth, letting stuff slip. I'm up shit creek right now without a damn paddle. I tried to edge away from Envy when I felt him grab my arms. I tried to yank away, but man, he had a grip stronger than Al. HOLY SHIT IM IN TROUBLE! My mind screamed. NO SHIT SHERLOCK, I screamed back at my mind, trying to wiggle loose. I was afraid. Very afraid. Well, I tried to be friends, at least.

"What do you mean by 'truth'?'" Envy asked, pulling me close to him. I tried my hardest to run, and I grabbed a pillow and tried to beat him with it.

"IT'S NONE OF YOUR DAMN BUISNESS!" I yelled, wacking Envy the hardest I could in the side of his head with a pillow. That pissed him off. Great, I'm dead. But I didn't want to scream for help, because I had two perfectly good reasons not to. One, if help actually came, would it be strong enough to beat a humonculi? And two, I was confident of my skills. If I couldn't beat Envy, I wasn't a very good fighter.

I had escaped, and sprinted to the door, but Envy beat me to it.

"What did you mean by 'truth'." Envy snarled, taking steps closer to me. I backed up until I hit the side of the bed.

"Nothing~ Nothing at all~" I said nervously, sitting on the bed and crossing my legs. That's when my nose started bleeding. I got a nosebleed every time I was too nervous. I covered my nose, swearing under my breath. Envy approached me, his posture threatening. I was not having a fun time. This is bad, this is bad, this is very very bad!

"What do you mean by 'truth'." He asked in a dangerously low voice, his blazing violet eyes staring into mine, his hands on my shoulders. I slapped them away.

"Geez, man, are you TRYING to kill me? You nearly gave me a heart attack! And you made my nose bleed, too. Is that any way to ask for something?" I puffed, glaring. Envy glared back.

"Yes, it's a way. It's my way." Envy growled.

"You want the truth? Well, fine. JUST GET THE HELL AWAY FROM MW FIRST!" I kicked Envy away to let my anger out. He kinda pissed me off, stupid palmtree headed black-skirt wearing freak… But that didn't change the fact I still liked and admired him as a character in FMA.

"Just for your information, Envy, you will never get anything out of me by force. I will only tell you if you ask nicely, because I hate it when people think violence is the answer. Well, it's not. And I want you to ask my nicely. Besides, this information would be a big help." I said, rubbing my bruised shoulders. God, he was strong, I thought, much stronger than me. I could see Envy fighting himself whether it was worth it or not to ask politely. Because, if you don't know, he doesn't do polite.

"Fine. Please give me the truth." Envy said, as if disgusted by the words that came out of his own mouth. I grinned, and stood up to face him.

"Good boy. Now, the truth about me, hmm… Let's see…" I taunted Envy. I could see him getting really pissed off, but he was holding it all in for the information.

"I'm actually from the other side of the gate. I don't know how I got here, but I saw Truth in the process, and can do a transmutation without a circle." My words clearly took Envy off guard.

"WHAT?!" He exclaimed. I quickly dashed over him and put a hand over his mouth.

"Don't freaking yell! Someone might hear you!" I whispered urgently, carefully taking my hand away from Envy's mouth. He snorted.

"And with all the yelling you did, should I be amazed no one heard you?" Envy said. I shook my head.

"The Hughes family knows I sleep-scream," I pointed out, "And sometimes I just randomly burst out yelling. They're used to it by now." Envy sweat dropped, shaking his head.

"Well, since I have that information, I'll be leaving," He said, walking over and opening my window. I casually plopped down on the bed, facing Envy.

"You know," I said hesitantly, "It's not like I'm kicking you out of here. As long as you don't kill me, which I know you can't because I'm a so called 'sacrafice', you can stay with me. It'll help with keeping tabs on the Elric brothers and stuff, and I don't really care if you're a humonculi. So you can stay," I said nonchalantly, hugging a pillow.. Envy paused at the window, looking at me in surprise.

"Of course," I added, "You have to stay as Frosty when we're around other people." Envy sighed, climbing out the window.

"I'll be back," He said, sounding like more warning than assuring. I waved, smiling.

"Alright, see you later," I said as Envy disappeared. I left the window open, laying on my bed with my arms behind my head.

I think, I thought, Envy was nicer than I thought. He didn't hurt me... Wow, that's shocking. But I better get used to it, since I agreed to let him stay. I shook my head and sighed.

I'm crazy.

Hey guys! WOW! I actually love this chapter. I tried to get Envy's personality as accurate as possible, and I'm sorry if it isn't that accurate. But I think I got it. I laughed when I reread this chapter. Really, Envy saying please? Ha, that was funny. I chose to have Envy live with Lynette to make more humor with all their fights and bantering. Plus, have you guys noticed how much the humonculi know about the Elric brothers and stuff in the show? I was always confused how they got all that information, so I decided they would get some from Envy staying with Lynette. It's nice, though. I'm really happy I decided on this.

But, anyway, how is the story going so far? Do you like it? Comments, questions, concerns?

My lovely readers, please review~

Thanks!