Bucky carried his single box of belongings into the Brooklyn apartment Steve had chosen for the men. Kayla's request to live near her son was fair, and Steve obliged, wanting to be close to his girl as much as she wanted to be close to him. But he couldn't face her, not yet. So Sam, Barnes, and Steve Rogers signed a lease on a furnished three-bedroom apartment in the nicer area of Brooklyn with Pepper Stark sending a check to pay for six months of rent plus the security deposit.
Bucky dropped his box on the twin-sized bed that sat in the room he claimed. It was the smallest room, with the smallest bed, with the worst view of an alleyway. But it was Brooklyn. It was home. He unpacked the four shirts that he rotated through in his wardrobe, and an old photo taken from a newsreel of him and Steve back in the war. He placed the framed, fuzzy quality photo on the desk and sat on the edge of the bed, allowing himself to relax.
Until the crying started.
And the crying set off the barking and the peace and quiet were dead.
"Damnit Rogers, calm your son!" Sam Wilson yelled from his room across the hall from Barnes. Steve had claimed the master bedroom on the opposite side of the apartment to share with his son, but even the distance didn't quiet the sound of James' screams.
Steve bounced up and down in his mostly empty bedroom, trying to pacify his crying boy, but he'd been without his mother for three weeks, and it was beginning to show. "I'm trying! He's- he's freaking out!" Steve replied as he continued to panic. He'd made a terrible mistake. James needed Kayla. He needed Kayla now. Buddy barked up at James, trying to calm the baby, but only making things worse with the loud noise.
Bucky calmly entered through the open doorway and collected James from Steve's arms. He settled the boy against his vibranium arm, and James snuggled against the cool metal and stopped crying immediately. Bucky gave Steve a small smile as he walked around the room with the boy, and Sam looked shellshocked from the doorway. "Cap, that's just embarrassing. He's an assassin."
"I need to take him to Kayla," Steve grumbled, collapsing into the desk chair by the window. "I just don't want to see her yet. I don't know what to say. I need more time."
"Tiffany's coming over after they get the hot tub delivered, she could always take him back with her if you pack him a baby bag. I'm not gonna lie, I'm sick and tired of our garbage can smelling like diapers." Sam shot Steve a bitter look as his brows rose higher on his head. "As fun as it is being all 'Three Men and a Baby', I think you need some time for self-reflection or whatever shit you feel you need to do."
"Sam, watch your language in front of Little Bucky." Barnes hissed as he bopped back and forth across the bedroom with the baby snuggled in his arm.
Sam's eyes got even wider as he pointed to Barnes, "Did you just refer to him as 'Little Bucky'?"
"I mean I am his namesake aren't I?" Bucky winked at Sam, knowing it would only make him angrier. Sam crossed his arms and scowled at Barnes as the Winter Soldier coddled the child in front of him.
"Did you say they're getting a hot tub?" Steve asked incredulously as he narrowed his eyes at Sam as Buddy panted happily next to the soldier.
"To the Bachelorette Pad!" Tiffany and Natasha cheered in unison as they clinked their champagne glasses as Kayla sipped orange juice beside them. Kayla shook her head at her friends, a knowing smile on her face as she took another drink. They might have splurged a little bit on their new home, using Mathew Ellis's credit card for the security deposit and a year's worth of rent. The high rise Manhattan apartment had a view of the harbor, and Brooklyn beyond. They even allowed her to bring Zawadi, who was easily eighty pounds over the limit for pets. Maximum security would ensure Kayla Ellis's safety and the complex happily gave the notorious socialite and her friends one of the penthouse suites. In return, Kayla said she wouldn't bat an eye if the press caught photos of her entering the complex. As long as they couldn't get in, Kayla didn't care much who knew she lived there.
"I'm so bummed you can't break in the new hot tub with us." Tiffany pouted as Natasha poured her another glass of champagne.
"Yup. It sucks that I'm pregnant." Kayla deadpanned, rolling her eyes at her best friend.
Natasha smiled knowingly as she pulled her messy fishtail braid over her shoulder, feeling welcome and home for the first time in years. A real home. Not a compound. Not a place purchased and controlled for her. An actual home that she could make her own. Friends who she could come home to at night. A world she could find a place in and start anew.
Tiffany blushed a little at her friend's sarcasm, "Sorry. But Nat and I are going to christen it tonight. I'm heading over to Sam's place to check on them then I'll be back in a few hours."
"Can you ask Steve about James? I've got the nursery all set up, we just need to come up with some sort of arrangement. I don't want to say custody arrangement, it seems so definitive." Kayla mumbled before tipping her head back and downing the last of her orange juice in a crystal flute. "Please?"
"I'll talk to him. Don't worry Kay. In fact, I'll head over right now. Call me an uber? You can afford it right?" Tiffany winked as she grabbed her rainbow clutch from the table and stumbled to the door.
"She's really drunk." Natasha chuckled in surprise, placing her elbows on the marble island and leaned over to watch Tiffany close the door behind her.
"Yup." Came Kayla's perky reply, "But she's got to drink for the both of us, so it's not surprising."
"I've never had a jacuzzi in my bathroom before." Natasha said thoughtfully as she looked toward her bedroom, "Mind if I give it a try?"
"If anyone on this Earth deserves time to relax it's you, Nat." Kayla assured her friend as the redhead cheerfully rounded the corner into her very own bedroom that she decorated herself.
Once alone, Kayla sat in the loveseat next to the window and pulled out her cell phone, calling a car for Tiffany to head to Brooklyn. Zawadi rested his chin on her thigh, looking up at her with big sad eyes. A low whine emitted from his throat as he looked up at Kayla. "I know." She told the dog dejectedly, "I miss him too." The dog stuck out his tongue a little, wetting her jeans ever so slightly with his slobber. She scoffed and shook her head, but didn't discipline the dog. She just enjoyed his company.
Three hours later, a very sober Tiffany Jones came clamoring through the front door of her apartment. "Kayla! Help please!" Kayla jumped to her feet, feeling dizzy from the sudden movement. Once she regained her composure she met Tiffany at the door as she pushed it open with her back, holding a car seat with James secured into it.
"Baby!" Kayla cried happily and took the car seat from Tiffany, straining under its weight. "I didn't think he'd send James with you tonight! I'm so happy to see you, baby." Kayla cooed as she sat the carrier on the kitchen table and began unstrapping her son until she was finally able to hold him in her arms. "My gosh, you are heavier than I remember." She grunted, burying her face into the baby's neck as he breathed against her shoulder. She felt a wave of relief wash over her having her child in her arms. She felt whole again, even if a big piece of her was still missing.
"He's a chubby little thing." Tiffany panted as she rested her palms on her knees and leaned over to catch her breath. "He was good in the car ride though. The boys were more than happy to give him up for a while. He was already dressed and packed when I got there."
"I'm never letting you go again, James." Kayla promised in a whisper, leaning her head against her son's soft face as her hair draped around him. She didn't say aloud that she'd been scared of seeing her son again. She wasn't the woman he knew as his mother. She was smaller, frailer. She was terrified that he'd think her a stranger and reject her. But the baby knew who his mother was, super strength be damned, he knew he belonged in her arms and slept soundly the moment he hit her chest. She breathed in the scent of clean baby, letting all her troubles fly away for a brief moment. But like all moments, it ended, and she looked at Tiffany with sad eyes, "When does he want James back?"
"He didn't say. Said whenever you need a break." Tiffany relayed as she shoved her hands in the pockets of her jacket. "Where's Natasha? It's hot tub time."
"You two have fun, I think I'm gonna spend some time alone with James." Kayla hummed, swaying slightly from side to side as she closed her eyes peacefully.
"I figured as much. Sleep well, Kayla. Love you."
"I love you guys too," Kayla responded as she practically floated into her bedroom, closing the door with her bare foot once inside. She gently laid James down on the down comforter of her king-sized bed, then crawled in beside him so he was in the center of the bed. He had his own room already set up for him, but Kayla had no intention of letting him sleep away from her tonight. She'd grown tired of sleeping alone for the past three weeks.
Kayla crawled onto the comforter and laid on her side, curling her legs at her hips to provide a small wall for James to rest against as he looked up at Kayla with happy green eyes. Her hair fell over her face and he grabbed it, yanking on it like he always did. The pain radiated through her scalp. Without the serum, her pain tolerance was very low, but if this was the price to pay for being James's mom, she'd happily pay it. She reached behind her and pulled her laptop out of its black and pink case, setting it up on the other side of James so she could keep an eye him while she scrolled through the news reports.
The reflection of the screen glowed in Kayla's eyes as she searched for herself, finding dozens of news reports of her departure from the hospital and her moving into the apartment complex with her assistant. Natasha had chosen to stay anonymous, because she was a spy through and through, even if she claimed she was retired. For now. Kayla twisted her mouth as she clicked on an article she was tagged in.
When the article opened, the news story began playing and Kayla used her right hand to caress James's face as the reporter spoke. "Earlier this week it was discovered that Kayla Ellis, the daughter of President Ellis who has been long thought to be dead, is in fact alive. She was seen checking out of a hospital in southern New Jersey, accompanied by her mother, father, and secret service. No member of the Ellis family has issued a statement, however, Kayla Ellis is known for loose lips and scandal, so it's only a matter of time before more information about her resurgence comes out."
Kayla clicked the back button, instead choosing to live stream the local news stations in New York. What she found wasn't much better. "This just in, recent drone footage has revealed that the Avengers Compound in upstate New York is destroyed! This comes only a few weeks after the return of the Vanished. Since the return of the other half of the world's population, the private team known as the Avengers haven't been seen or heard from. Tony Stark was reported by Stark Industries CEO to have passed away, and the complete destruction of their base seems to lend to the theory that the Avengers were responsible for bringing back those who were lost. With Tony Stark, the most public member of the Avengers, gone, many of the identities of the others are being kept under lock and key. However, this is interesting timing for the reemergence of First Daughter Kayla Ellis, who was thought to be dating Captain America at the time of her death in 2014. While her parents and Doctor Bruce Banner, better known as the Hulk, were seen at the hospital, Captain Rogers was nowhere to be found. Some reports say that Kayla was seen out and about with the superhero before the Vanished returned, but he hasn't been seen since. Could this mean the death of not only Iron Man, but Captain America?"
Kayla closed the laptop quickly with a huff, causing James to begin to whimper. She leaned down and pressed a gentle kiss to her son's forehead before laying down next to him and putting her arm around him to protect him. She pulled him close to her chest, her other hand resting lazily on her stomach.
Across the river, Steve Rogers stood behind Bucky and Sam on the couch and watched the same news report on their television. The blonde soldier sighed deeply at the conclusion of the segment, feeling conflicted about being suspected as dead. He leaned on the back of the couch as Bucky took a large handful of Sam's popcorn and popped it in his mouth, even though he had a bowl of his own.
"Why? Why are you like this?" Sam asked seriously with a shake of his head as Bucky chewed the popcorn. He didn't respond, he only continued watching the television as the news segment transitioned into something else. Sam looked over his shoulder at Steve and saw the thoughtful look in his eyes, "What do you want to do about this, Cap?"
"I'm not the Captain anymore," Steve told Sam, placing a strong hand on his shoulder. "You are. And I think it's time the world knows it."
"I'll shoot somebody and you can come to stop me." Bucky deadpanned and both men turned to him with disbelief. When he realized their reaction he just pushed his hair back with his metal arm, "I'm kidding. I'll only pretend to shoot someone."
"Buck, it's taken so much to keep you out of prison. Can you please help me out?" Steve groaned and Bucky laughed loudly at that.
"I'm not the one who lied to join the army, who disobeyed orders to save my best friend, who ignored all chances of saving myself, should I go on? I've only made it to 1945." Bucky listed as he looked up at Steve with a knowing smirk. "I'm not the troublemaker here. I was just... unlucky."
"I know Buck. I know." Steve gripped his friend's shoulder and Bucky grabbed his wrist and squeezed it comfortingly.
Sam stretched his arms into the air, groaning as he arched his back, "It's late boys. Let get some sleep."
Steve nodded as they all went their separate ways, but he knew he wouldn't sleep. He locked himself in the large bedroom alone, leaning his head against the door. His blonde hair fell over his face into his eyes, but he didn't push it away. He didn't care. He didn't feel very put together. He unbuttoned his green shirt and discarded it in the hamper, missing the smell of Kayla's perfume that always lingered on her dirty clothes. He stripped down to his undershirt and boxers and went to the bathroom to brush his teeth. Steve stared at his reflection in the mirror as he worked hard on cleaning his perfect teeth. He hadn't shaved and had developed quite a bit of stubble since he last saw Kayla. His hair was greasy since he hadn't showered since the day before yesterday. Steve Rogers felt at a loss. He didn't regret passing the mantle of Captain America to Sam, but, in the quiet of his own room alone, he realized he didn't know who he was without the shield. After spitting out the toothpaste, Steve wiped down his face and turned to the small closet next to his bed. He swung open the two wooden doors and leaned over, pulling out the shattered shield that he'd saved after the battle at the compound.
The Captain America shield, bold and bright and shiny, had represented Steve Rogers for eight decades. Now, this dirty, shattered version of the symbol was more fitting.
Author's Note:
Siobhan- Steve has to figure some stuff out. He's finally reached his breaking point and it's about damn time. I'm so glad you're still enjoying it! I always love reading your reviews!