As the clock struck one in the morning, Kayla continued rocking little Sarah in the rocking chair. She smoothed the child's wispy blonde hairs away from her face as the baby whimpered against Kayla's chest. "Shh little one. Everything's okay. Everything's okay." Kayla hushed as she pressed her hand against the child's face, feeling it was warm again. Kayla wiped her free hand against her own forehead, pushing her dark hair away from her face. "Sarah, darling, what are we going to do about you?"
Kayla rested her cheek on her daughter's head, feeling a tear drip from her eye and slide down her face as she sighed. This was all her fault. If Kayla hadn't gone to Vorimir... if she hadn't taken the Soul Stone in the first place, Red Skull would have never gotten off of that planet. She'd have given birth to a strong and healthy baby girl who had super soldier serum in her veins. They'd be with their friends and family.
But Natasha would be dead.
Although now, despite everything Kayla had done to save the Black Widow, she was being hunted down for something she didn't do. Natasha put Kayla and Steve's family back together, and it would cost her freedom. Perhaps Kayla should have let her go.
Kayla took a shaky breath and lifted her head, pressing a gentle kiss to the top of the baby's head. After a moment, she began to hear stirring from James's room, and she looked up to the ceiling, praying that her son would go back to sleep. Suddenly a cry echoed from the other room, and Sarah began to gasp, her little face turning red as her little, high pitched scream began to form in her throat. After a moment, it built up enough to escape, and Kayla moaned, letting her head fall back as she stood up, wandering through the bathroom to enter her son's room with her daughter in her arm. "Yes, child? What do you need?" She asked teasingly as the boy's crying ramped up, causing Sarah to ramp up her volume to compete.
Steve stumbled into the room, jutting his arm out to catch himself as he tripped over one of James's toys. "You want him or her?"
"Take your daughter. Her fever is back. I'll change James if you go rock her." Kayla ordered her husband, gently passing off the baby girl to attend to her toddler. Once he was scooped up in her arms, she took James over to the changing table and began unwrapping his diaper as Steve took Sarah back into her room.
Sarah wasn't sleeping by herself yet, but Steve appreciated the children having separate rooms for moments like this. Many nights were spent awake, tending to the sick little girl. Steve sat down in the wooden chair he'd built by hand, the thing he wanted so badly to give to Kayla and his kids. He pushed his bare feet against the cushy carpet, moving back and forth as he shushed his little girl. "It's okay Sarah. You're alright." Steve promised, and his daughter because to gasp quickly, but her tears began to lessen in her father's arms. He smiled down at her and she giggled a little before relaxing against his strong arm.
"What is it with you and kids, Steve Rogers?" Kayla joked from the doorway, crossing her arms as she leaned against it. She shook her head a little as she stared at him with a crooked smile, "I don't know how you do it."
"Me neither. But I'm glad they like me." He answered softly, stroking Sarah's bare arm with his large thumb as she turned and snuggled against his arm.
Kayla scoffed, shuffling toward her husband and daughter, "Of course they like you. You're their father."
"I never knew my father." Steve mumbled, looking down at Sarah sadly, "I just kind of make it up as I go."
"Well I've always been close to my mother, and I still don't know how to be one. So I'd say you're doing just fine." Kayla pressed a kiss to Steve's temple as he continued rocking Sarah back and forth, "She's still really warm, but we should try to get her to sleep. Let's head back to bed, okay?"
"You go to sleep, I'll take her. Aren't you meeting Tessa for sunrise yoga?" Steve inquired with a smirk and Kayla rolled her eyes.
"It seemed like such a good idea at the time."
"Go to bed Kay. I've got this." Steve assured his wife, and she squeezed his shoulders as she sighed.
"Alright. But don't keep her up too long. If she starts to sleep we should bring her to bed, okay?"
"Whatever you say, Kay. I love you." Steve told his wife easily, not even looking up from his little girl as his wife left the nursery.
She smiled at his words, looking back one more time before going to their room, "I love you too Steve."
Kayla laid out her yoga mat in the backyard four hours later, wiping the sleep from her eyes as she yawned into the darkness. Her thick, dark hair was pulled back into a high ponytail that bounced as she moved, but she was makeup-less before the crack of dawn. Steve and the children were sound asleep, but Kayla didn't want to stand up Tessa this early in the morning.
The gate leading from the front yard swung open and Tessa pondered through the dewy grass to stand beside Kayla, throwing her head up in a greeting nod. "Morning."
"If you can even call it that," Kayla mumbled, looking up at the sky with squinted eyes.
"How's Sarah doing?" Tessa asked as she smoothed her thick yoga mat onto the grass. "Did you get any sleep?"
"Her fever is back. Steve woke up and took her after a while. I'm just- I just feel... bad. I want her to be better. She's too young for this." Kayla admitted sadly as she laid on her stomach and arched her back, pushing her torso upward.
Tessa followed her lead. Her face was set in a grim smile. "I'm sorry Katie. I know how hard it's been for you. You really need to take her to the doctor-"
"I know, I'm taking her this afternoon." Kayla interrupted, pushing herself onto her hands and feet as she leaned against her legs and stretched her lower back, "I want to take her today before Steve goes back to work tomorrow."
"Well, how about Ryan and I bring over dinner tonight. We'll bring pizza. We can even bring over paper plates so you don't have to do the dishes." Tessa chuckled as she tossed her head back, throwing her brunette hair away from her face.
Kayla pushed her feet into the air, standing on her palms upside down as she smirked at the smaller woman. Tessa rolled her brown eyes in response, "Show off. Seriously, what do you say?"
"I say I can do dishes, but you can still bring pizza. Say, six o'clock? Give me a good twelve hours to sleep?" Kayla replied as she let her feet fall to the ground easily, standing as Tessa groaned and pushed herself up to face her friend.
"You won't sleep, but I'll let you believe you will. Now, teach me how to do that handstand." Tessa prodded, causing Kayla to laugh loudly. She caught herself as Tessa shushed her, covering her mouth as Zawadi began barking from inside the glass door, wanting to come out and be with Kayla. She quickly ran up the small deck and opened the door, setting the massive dog free into the yard where he ran in circles around Tessa. Kayla trotted down the two wooden steps into the grass, feeling how cool and wet it was between her toes.
"Alright, front and center. Fingers spread, don't lean too much on your wrist or you'll hurt it." Kayla ordered, circling Tessa as the girl snorted, crossing her arms. Kayla looked at her expectantly, then gestured to the yoga mat with her hand. "You said you wanted to learn."
Tessa looked at Kayla suspiciously, "You are an odd woman, Katie Carter."
Kayla laughed, pulling her mat on top of Tessa's to give her a softer landing place, "You have no idea. Do you trust me?"
"Strangely, yes," Tessa answered, quickly moving to stand on her hands and Kayla grabbed her ankles. The smaller woman felt herself begin to tip forward, but her friend easily held her up, making sure she didn't fall.
"You've got to build up the strength in your arms. And balance. It takes discipline." Kayla said, her mind trailing off as she spoke quietly. She remembered training with Natasha and Steve, becoming an Avenger. Becoming more.
You aren't going anywhere until you can focus. You have no discipline, you're spoiled, and I can't trust you to be there for the team out in the field.
Tessa moaned as she shifted her weight, beginning to tip over, and Kayla let her fall back onto her feet, stumbling a little as she regained her balance, "How do you do that and regain your composure?"
"It's a long story. Maybe someday I'll tell you." Kayla winked and pulled her own mat away to sit on it, legs spread to the side as she leaned forward, "What? You getting sleepy?"
Tessa studied Katie curiously, considering her words. "What's your story, Katie? You don't really talk about your past. You talk about Steve, and the kids, but not you."
Kayla looked up, the reflection of the rising sun glistening in her emerald eyes. The corner of her lips pulled up to make a small, imperfect smile as she tried to form the words she wanted to say, "It's complicated."
"Mmm." Tessa hummed, pressing the bottoms of her feet together and inhaled deeply. "I get it. We've only known each other for a few weeks."
"I just, I want to be honest with you-"
"I want that too, Katie," Tessa countered cooley, not looking at her friend. "I don't like lies. I don't have the patience for that bullshit. I've been lied to too many times before."
Kayla swallowed hard, staring at the woman sitting on the mat in front of her. She could see Tessa's tense shoulders under her strappy shirt. "Tess..." Kayla started, trying to formulate some sort of explanation. Some sort of answer that would make her understand. So Kayla settled on the truth. A very, very vague version of the truth. "My husband did some things... in the military... that he shouldn't have. He made some bad choices. He got in some trouble with some bad people. So we have to keep a low profile. He's not in trouble anymore, he's... he's fine, but I can't be as open and honest with you as I wish I could be. I hope you'll keep quiet about this, even with Ryan. I know you hate secrets."
Kayla studied Tessa's shoulders as they relaxed a bit before she turned and looked over her shoulder. "Thank you. For being honest with me. I appreciate it, Kay."
Kayla's head jerked back, startled by what Tessa had called her, "What?"
"Katie. Sorry." Tessa realized the name had triggered the redhead. She wiggled herself around to face Kayla, sitting cross-legged as she clasped her hands together. "I've heard Steve call you Kay."
"No, it's fine. You can call me Kay. It's what my friends have always called me."
Tessa nodded, "So we're friends?"
Kayla snorted as Zawadi sniffed Tessa curiously, "You make it sound like we weren't before. You're the only friend I've made in this small town. I don't take it lightly." Kayla cracked her knuckles and stood, seeing the sun finally settling over the horizon. She rolled forward and pushed herself to her feet, offering Tessa her hand. "Come on, let's get some coffee at the shop. Maybe some of those little cake pops you know I like."
"Oh, you want to make me work? Thanks, I appreciate that." Tessa mumbled as she allowed Kayla to yank her to her feet. Kayla slung her arm over Tessa's shoulders and led her into the house to get cleaned up.
Kayla opened up the fridge and pulled out a carton of orange juice as Zawadi circled Tessa, begging for attention. She pet the large dog's head as he tried to lick at her tiny fingers. Kayla poured two glasses and handed one to Tessa before leaning against the counter. "So pizza tonight?"
"Yeah, double date. Get excited. I'll bring the pizza, you guys get the beers. Get Steve to break out the drawing pad. Ryan keeps harassing him about it." Tessa blurted after finishing her juice.
Kayla nodded, raising her glass, "I'll see what I can do."
"You ladies talking about me?" Steve asked as he bounced down the stairs with Sarah in his arm and James giggling while slung over his shoulder.
Kayla leaned over to her husband and kissed him as he stole her orange juice out of her hand and replaced it with his daughter. Kayla gawked at him as Tessa smirked, watching the couple. "Stop it. You two are making me sick. I aspire to be this gross someday."
"I mean, you've already got the man. Get a ring and have some kids and you'll be right here with me. Not sleeping, wiping shit and cooking for someone who eats for four." Kayla teased, elbowing Steve in the gut as she bounced Sarah a little. She pressed her hand to her daughter's face, feeling her a little cooler than before, "We need to get her to the doctor today, Steve."
He looked surprised at her words but nodded nonetheless. "It's six-thirty. The doctor's office I looked into opens at seven if you want to go early. The sooner we get there the sooner we'll get her in."
Kayla turned to Tessa, sighing as she shrugged, "Raincheck on the cake pops and coffee?"
"I didn't want to work anyway," Tessa replied with a flip of her hand. "I better go home and get ready for the day though. I'll see you tonight. Six o'clock. Sketchbook Steve!" She called as she let herself out the sliding door into the backyard to go back to her own house.
"She called my bluff this morning," Kayla said evenly, taking Sarah to the kitchen table to sit in the dining room chairs as Steve flipped James upside down, causing the boy to giggle as his blonde hair flopped toward the ground.
"Oh yeah. How'd that go?" Steve asked, not really paying attention to his wife as he entertained his young son.
Kayla bopped her head back and forth a little, "I told her you got into trouble in the military and that I couldn't be as open and honest with her as I'd like to be. I said you made some bad choices and got into some trouble, but I assured her you weren't in any trouble anymore. Which is one-hundred percent true I'd like to add. Not a lie at all." Kayla met Steve's piercing blue eyes and he moved his jaw back and forth, chewing on the information.
"That seems a little unnecessary. You couldn't have just stuck to the backstory we were given?"
Kayla's squinted at her husband, pursing her lips in frustration. "She's my friend. I want her to trust me."
"Kay, they don't really know us at all. They don't know the first real thing about us. They know I like to draw and you like to do yoga and drink coffee but everything they know is just a story. We have friends. Real friends, who know us." Steve argued, setting James on the ground to play with the dog.
"Natasha's on the run. Tony is 'dead' and Bucky is Sam's right-hand man. And everyone else thinks we are dead. Sam, Bruce, my parents, T'Challa, Wanda, everybody thinks we are dead and buried. So no- Steve, I don't think we have real friends right now. And it's really hard because those people were our family. You know how hard it is having my daughter sick and not being able to call my mom? Do you know how hard it is to not talk to Natasha and Wanda when I have a bad day? I miss them, Steve. Tessa and Ryan are all we have right now. I want them to be real." Kayla deflated, dropping her head to look at Sarah as the little blue-eyed girl stared up at her mother with a quivering lip and grabby hands. "You don't know what it's like to die and wake up as someone else. I've had it happen twice."
Steve wandered over to Kayla and knelt down, leaning his face against her arm. "We need to go Kay. Can we talk about this later?"
"I know we won't. But I've said what I needed to say." Kayla retorted sharply but leaned her face down to press a gentle kiss on Steve's head anyway. Try as she might, Kayla Rogers couldn't stay mad at her husband.
Author's Notes:
glagla60800: Sadly nothing is going on with Natasha and Bucky. I know it's canon in the comics, however, there's another plan in motion for this story. Don't worry though, we'll be seeing plenty of both of them in different capacities.