3: Recollection
Goku didn't sleep that night. Not that he was uncomfortable, far from it. He was the most comfortable he'd been in months, how could he not be? His wife was there, lying next to him in his clothes. He had been right before, he did greatly enjoy seeing her in his clothes and how they were too big on her and how much it made her smell like him. Granted she also smelled annoyingly like Krillin, because she'd used his soap, but Goku was determined to ignore that. His son was there as well, curled up and snuggling against Chi-Chi as best he could and dead to the world.
Chi-Chi wasn't quite as sound asleep; she would often times wake up a bit to make sure Gohan was there and okay before drifting back off. It hurt a little to see that. That she'd gone through things that were bad enough to the point where she'd developed a habit of staying vigilant even when asleep. He wished he'd been there for her during that.
He was helping now though, at least it felt like he was. Whenever she'd force herself to wake up, he'd rub her back and whisper reminders that she was with him, that she was safe, that Gohan was safe. It didn't take her long to go back to sleep then.
The idea of sleeping himself though was too scary at the moment. It felt like the second he closed his eyes to sleep, she and Gohan would vanish. He'd wake up downstairs next to Krillin and start another day full of training or looking for her. Or arguing with Bulma about using the Dragon Balls to find her.
Eyeing her too thin form and how, even in her sleep, Chi-Chi guarded her left side Goku regretted not pushing Bulma harder on giving him the radar. Though sometimes he doubted anything short of stealing it would have gotten his old friend to give it up.
Thinking about it left him with a bitter taste in his mouth. Especially the events that happened a month ago even if he didn't think it'd really been Bulma's fault that time.
Goku knew he was attractive, Chi-Chi had told him he was so many times. Also, even if she hadn't meant to, thanks to Chi-Chi he knew what arousal smelt like and what it meant. So even if he hadn't actually wanted to know, he could tell when Bulma was aroused around him. At first he thought it'd been Yamcha, or that she was thinking about her boyfriend, but no. Many times it was for him and not Yamcha. Goku didn't know what to do with that unwanted knowledge, but figured ignoring it would be for the best; after all even if Chi-Chi was missing he was still her husband and Bulma was more often than not dating the former desert bandit.
Then about a month ago his friends were 'in a rough patch,' as they put it, and Bulma was drunk. He'd stopped by to ask for the dragon radar again and Bulma started talking about how Chi-Chi had likely regretted marrying him. How she'd gotten what she'd wanted and left, how she was probably living it up with some other guy somewhere else and didn't want to tell her dad. Then Bulma kissed him, hard.
It'd taken more self-control than he'd thought he had to gently push her away and leave the lab.
The moment she'd started talking about Chi-Chi like that: approaching him and smelling aroused by him, he'd frozen and had to clamp down on the urge to slam her into the wall and rip her throat out. Every instinct he had screamed that she was a threat to his Chi-Chi, that she needed to be gotten rid of before she made sure he'd never find his wife again.
Afterwards he'd had to let off some steam to keep from returning and doing what he hadn't done. There was now a field where there was once a mountain. He hadn't even used very much ki at the time, being too worked up to think of using it. It was honestly terrifying and it made him think back to when he, in a fit of adrenaline, told the Demon King Piccolo that he might not be human. He'd been talking about having a tail at the time, but maybe there was more to that than he'd first thought.
He'd met with Bulma twice since then, both times he had to seriously fight the urge to growl and snarl at her. The first time they'd met after, it was clear to him that his oldest friend remembered. Bulma had tried to, nervously, bring it up but Goku had acted confused and ignorant enough that she dropped it. He didn't know if she'd wanted to apologize for talking like that and kissing him or if she'd wanted to continue that talk sober. In truth, he just wanted her to stop talking about it. It was way easier to ignore the urge to eliminate her as a threat to Chi-Chi if what happened was never mentioned again.
That said, both times their argument about using the Dragon Balls to find Chi-Chi got far more heated and intense than they had been before. Goku would often have to leave shortly after they started before he lost control of his temper and did something regrettable.
Goku shook his head of those memories and thoughts, burying his face in his – alive and present- wife's hair. He didn't want to think about it anymore now. Bulma was probably going to come over when it wasn't dark out and either master Roshi or Krillin called her and Yamcha about it. He wouldn't want to think about it then either, though he probably would.
For now though he was content to cuddle his wife, gaze at his son and make sure to pay attention to any foreign ki signatures that got within his sensing range.
It didn't feel like very long before the room began to lighten as dawn approached. Then again, Chi-Chi had arrived late at night. Goku had honestly thought he was dreaming when he sensed her ki so close to him, it was a bit of a shock when he realized he was awake. He was glad he'd gotten up to check though. It scared him to know that he might have missed her, that he would have had to take care of Gohan by himself. He didn't really know much of anything about babies.
He didn't think he could have managed it.
As if hearing his thoughts, his small son began to stir. He propped himself up so he could look at Gohan over Chi-Chi's still sleeping form. He gave his child a small smile, "morning Gohan, you're up early."
Gohan whined in response to his soft voice and tried to move closer to Chi-Chi, but he was swaddled too tightly to do much. Goku chuckled and decided to help him out. He didn't look too comfortable wrapped up in that blanket anyway. He'd had to move to Chi-Chi's other side to do that though. Goku honestly didn't like that Gohan still regarded him with some suspicion; as soon as he could he curled up against his mom and wrapped his tail firmly around her closest hand. But that was fine, they'd only met a couple hours ago, after all.
So Goku didn't try to approach any closer than he was. Instead he cooed, chirped and trilled at his son putting all the affection and love he could into the sounds until, to his surprise and delight the baby responded in kind.
At least at first. It wasn't long after the sun started to rise that Gohan began to whimper and whine. He didn't smell like he did last night when Chi-Chi needed to change him, so Goku wasn't quite sure what was wrong. He didn't want to wake Chi-Chi up though, considering how tired she was when they went to bed and how poorly she'd slept.
He'd have to though as Gohan's whines evolved into soft crying that honestly hurt his heart to listen to. Without thinking he reached over to shake Chi-Chi awake but that action caused Gohan to cry much louder and more earnestly, waking her up before Goku could so much as touch her.
She blinked blearily at the two of them for a couple seconds before yawning and sitting up. "Wha? What's wrong?"
"I don't know! He just started crying! What do I do?"
She pulled their child into her lap and he calmed down a lot. "He's probably just hungry, I've been getting up a lot earlier than this to feed him." Then she pulled the collar of the shirt down and guided their son to her breast. His shirt was large enough and the neck hole was wide enough that she managed this easily.
"Chi-Chi, what?" Goku was very confused because before she'd told him that, as her husband, he was the only one allowed to put his mouth on her nipples. Then Gohan started suckling and suddenly Goku was much less confused. It also explained why she'd been smelling like milk. "Oh, that's what those are for. I was wondering why only girls had boobs. So it's kind of similar to cows and their utters, right?"
Chi-Chi winced as their son fed, but rolled her eyes at Goku's statement. "It's exactly like cows Goku, the placement is just a little different for them."
"Wait, does that mean the milk from cows is for baby cows?"
"If you keep milking cows then they'll keep making milk, beyond when the calf needs it. Drinking milk doesn't steal food from baby cows." She answered absentmindedly as she looked around for something. "The bag I had is downstairs, isn't it?"
"Yeah, I think so."
"There's a tin of baby formula in there and some bottles, could you mix up two bottles and bring them and the bag up here?"
"Baby formula?"
"It's extra milk," she looked down at Gohan with a guilty expression on her face. "I can't make enough to feed him on my own." Her voice was quiet and she was acting like it was a personal failure that she couldn't give him enough.
"Guess he has my appetite then."
His attempt at humor fell horribly flat, though she did smile. It was too strained, too guilty and too bitter to count as a success though. "Seems like it, when I was pregnant it felt like I could never get enough to eat."
His own small smile fell as he took in her too thin frame. She didn't look to be in much better condition now than she had last night, for all her body was cleaner. There wasn't anything either of them could do to change what she went through before, but he could certainly make sure neither she nor Gohan would go hungry again.
Bending forward he gave her a quick peck on the forehead. "I'll be back soon." Her smile was much happier this time as he quickly and quietly made his way down the stairs.
The main floor was still dark, which didn't surprise him. Of the three of them, Goku was the one who'd always wake up first. This meant he usually was the one who'd have to catch breakfast, but he was pretty sure they had enough for him to skip doing that today. Unless Chi-Chi wanted fish, though even then he'd probably have to ask Krillin to get it for him. Even being just down the stairs felt like he was too far away from her.
It was easy enough to silently go to the bag Chi-Chi had left behind. It and the box she'd been carrying Gohan in had been placed near the sofa-bed. He'd noticed a crumpled and creased piece of paper in the box but he figured it wasn't that important, or at least not as important as making sure Gohan was full.
To keep from waking his friend and his teacher up he moved the bag to the kitchen before digging through it for the formula can. It was easy enough to find, but he couldn't make heads or tails of the instructions. He stood there trying to figure it out before giving up and going back upstairs, feeling defeated.
During the time he'd been gone, Gohan had switched breasts, Goku couldn't help but wince at the sight of the first nipple though. It was bruised and looked chapped. That was a sensitive part of Chi-Chi's body and he had to wonder how much it hurt her to feed their child. It made him feel just that much guiltier that he hadn't been able to figure out how to make the powdered formula into something Gohan could drink.
Luckily she didn't seem too upset by his failure though. Then again, she knew he had some difficulty following written directions like recipes. If he was verbally instructed to do things, it'd be fine but reading them just made him feel lost and confused.
She just smiled at him. "It can be kind of confusing to make it the first few times."
"You say that every time I try to cook something specific." He huffed.
"Cooking is a skill you need to build up, like a more advanced kata."
A broad smile began to creep over his face as he settled down next to her, this was a conversation they'd had many times before; one they always had whenever he tried to cook regardless of how well it turned out. "I cook just fine over a fire."
"Partially cooked and charred meat isn't a good demonstration of skill."
"It's worked for me well enough."
"Given a choice between your 'cooking' and mine, which would you rather eat?"
"That's not fair," he whined, "you always cook more things than meat."
She stuck out her tongue and they both broke down giggling. For a brief and wonderful moment it was like she'd never disappeared. As their laughter died down he leaned against her, on the side opposite their son, and took in her scent once again. Because she had disappeared and it'd been horrible.
"It's scary," he muttered quietly, "how much you mean to me." It was scary how he hadn't even wanted to enter their house knowing she wouldn't be there. It was scary how little he wanted train or eat when she wasn't there. It was scary how willing he'd been to hurt Bulma if it meant Chi-Chi would be safe. It was scary how the thought of losing her forever made him want to break everything and keep breaking it till there was nothing left. It was scary how wholly and deeply she'd affected him when they'd only known each other for such a little amount of time.
"Sometimes it doesn't feel like we've only lived together for a couple months."
"Mm."
"I'm sorry."
"Mn?"
"For before- before all this happened. It was your choice and I had no right to try and take that from you."
That's right, before she'd disappeared they'd had a pretty big fight. Chi-Chi had wanted him to get a job. He hadn't wanted to do that; it'd take too much time away from training and most of what he'd heard about jobs made them sound completely boring. It'd gotten extremely heated and not in a good way. He'd left to train and to give time for both of them to calm down, and when he returned Chi-Chi was gone. He hadn't forgotten about that fight, just with her gone and now that she was back it didn't seem like it mattered that much.
"You weren't wrong either. I talked to your dad and master Roshi after and…" He removed his head from her shoulder to better see her face. "Before I met Bulma or anyone else, I lived off the land. Grandpa and I, we didn't have any need for money. We could get anything by going out and putting a little effort into it. Even after that, anything I needed I could either find myself or it was given to me. And I didn't understand why I - why we- couldn't go on living like that."
"We probably could have for a little while but…"
"Yeah, they explained a few things to me." He hesitated, "I know I'll need to get one soon, but…I don't want to leave your side. Not right now. Maybe not for a while…"
"I know what you mean. The thought of being away from you scares me right now." He let out a surprised purr at that. Just the knowledge that he made her feel safe made his heart flutter. "But we'll think of something. Who knows, maybe we'll find a job that lets you train while doing it."
"I could do that?"
"If we find the right one, then probably."
He kissed her. "I'd like that," then he kissed her again, deeper than before. Ever since their first few intimate times together the heat of arousal had always been easy to draw to the surface whenever he was near her. But now, after so long without her and with her wearing his clothes, it felt like he was on fire with need. Even the fact that she smelt faintly like Krillin just made him want to touch her more, if only to erase the scent of another male on her.
He wasn't quite desperate enough to try having sex with her while their son was still in the room with them though. Or at least not while he was awake. So Goku reluctantly pulled away first and had to smirk at her flushed face and the way her eyes were glassy with want. Seeing her like this, because of him, after so long without her had him moving in for more without meaning to.
Then Gohan burped and whined for more food. That small moment of intimacy was ruined but Goku honestly didn't mind too much. Especially when he saw how red his wife's face got.
"Le-let's go and get you more food, huh Gohan?" Chi-Chi hastily adjusted her shirt to cover her chest now that Gohan was clearly done feeding from her.
Still feeling giddy and hot from those kisses and wanting to stay close to her, Goku simply picked her up and snagged the bag, carrying them down to the kitchen and ignoring her quiet protests.