Sequel to "THORNS"
- Of Earth & Stars -
Chapter 29: Unearthed Sentiments
May 1994 - June 1994
Two weeks following the quidditch game, Hogwarts students found themselves studying in earnest for their upcoming OWLs and NEWTs. On a warm spring morning, Suri gathered her study materials, stopped at the Great Hall for a bagel, and headed to the library to study for the next few hours.
It seemed Suri wasn't the only one sacrificing her morning to study. The library was packed with students cramming for their subjects, heads bent over thick textbooks. She did a full lap around the library, finding almost all tables completely occupied except for one. A tucked away table meant for a small group, next to a window with a view of the quidditch pitch, Oliver Wood sat alone, glaring at his textbook.
Suri cut through the section on transfiguration and toward him. "Hey," Suri greeted.
Oliver looked up, his frown immediately becoming a smile. "Suri! Hi."
"Hi." Suri and Oliver smiled at each other. Remembering to breathe, Suri looked at the empty chair across from him. "Er, can I join you? Every other table is taken."
"Yes! I mean, sure." Oliver cleared his throat then calmly gestured to the seat across from him.
"Thanks." Suri began pulling out her textbooks, parchment, quills, and a small bottle with fuchsia colored liquid.
"Potions," Oliver guessed, looking curiously at the small vial. "What's that?"
"Amortentia." Suri prodded the bottle with her quill. "We have to deconstruct the potion by each ingredient and list every step on how to make it."
Oliver let out a low whistle. "I've always hated potions-it's where I get my lowest grade, honestly. I thought I was clever in thinking potions is like cooking, but Snape didn't like that."
"No, it's not like cooking at all," Suri giggled; her laughter only increased under Oliver's game stare down.
"Then tell me, great potions master, what's the secret to getting good marks in that class? Aside from being a Slytherin, because Snape hates everyone else."
"Potions is more like baking I suppose. All the ingredients and measurements must be exact but you can't really have substitutes. With cooking and baking you have loads of wiggle room and can save your recipe if you forget something. You can't really do that with potions."
"I wish I knew that three years ago! Percy was never much help. He's a good mate, but awful tutor." Oliver sat back in his seat, arms folded across his chest, mournfully considering his past seven years in Snape's classes.
"I wish you did too." They looked at each other again, the same way they did on the field when they both imagined what it would have been like if they were in the same house. Suri fiddled nervously with the potion in her hands. "So, what are you studying for?"
"Transfiguration," Oliver sighed. "It's the theoretical essay that McGonagall wants us to do that's bothering me. I'm afraid I'm not the best when it comes to theories, I just do things and they usually turn out alright."
"I can relate," Suri nodded sympathetically. "I'm more of a doer, too." For a while she and Oliver worked quietly together, the only sounds between them were the scratches from Suri's quill and Oliver turning the pages in his textbook.
Suri uncorked the Amortentia and quickly took a whiff. Snape had told the students that the first split second in smelling the potion could help identify ingredients before one began to smell what they loved most. Oliver looked up from his book to watch her.
"I remember studying that last year. What do you smell?"
"Well…" Suri sniffed thoughtfully. "I can smell fresh rain, melted chocolate and cinnamon, and something spicy but floral, like a soap or cologne."
"Can I try?" Oliver asked. Suri passed him the vial and watched as he inhaled.
"Broom polish, fresh coffee, and…" Oliver trailed off.
"What?" Oliver handed her the potion, their fingers brushing in the exchange. Suri ignored the hum of electricity that fired through her.
"I don't quite know how to name it. It's flower-y and mixed with something else, but I can't remember exactly where I've smelled it. But it's calming."
"Familiar...are there wildflowers by your home? Or maybe those flowers that grow by the Great Lake?"
"Maybe. If I find out, I'll let you know," Oliver promised with a laugh. "Now, I need to get back to my studies, you're distracting."
"You're distracting," Suri retorted. Once again, they smiled at each other.
They studied in silence for another hour. In this time, Suri learned a couple things about Oliver. She learned that when he was deep in thought he moved his lips when he read or muttered to himself. She also learned that when the light hit his face, it turns his brown eyes into a warm mahogany.
"You're staring," Oliver commented, not looking up from his book. "I can feel your eyes."
"I'm impressed you notice anything off the quidditch field, Oliver Wood." Suri teased.
Oliver closed his textbook, clearly done with studying for the day. "I notice things," he said. The way his gaze held her, Suri had a feeling Oliver was holding back on saying what he noticed in particular.
"Clearly, or else you wouldn't be as good a keeper as you were."
"A-as I was?" Oliver's eyebrows shot up. "Just because the quidditch cup has been won, you think it's over for me?"
"I don't know...what are your plans after Hogwarts? You don't seem like the office desk work for the Ministry in a mundane job, type." Suri imagined Oliver in business attire, and while the image of him sharply dressed was appealing, she didn't think he would be very happy.
Oliver's face lit up. "I'll tell you if you meet me at the quidditch field in ten minutes, we've been inside for too long. What do you say?"
"That's the best suggestion I've heard all day." Suri closed her notebook decisively.
"Great! I'll meet you after I drop off my books."
Suri and Oliver left the library together. Suri quickly headed to the dungeons to drop off her knapsack, too. She paused by her vanity and quickly brushed her wild waves, only to tousle them again. She smiled at her reflection quickly, wishing she was two inches taller and at least three inches thinner. But the reflection that looked back at her would have to do.
With three minutes to spare, Suri slowed down when she was at the outer corridor that led to the field. Every time she'd ever gone to the quidditch pitch since her fourth year, there were always people. Now, with no one else around, panic seized her. Taking a few slow breaths, Suri urged herself forward, one foot in front of the other until she was in the final walkway that would either put her on the field or lead her to the bleachers. It was also the hallway where Marcus came onto her and she hexed him.
Pausing, Suri stared at a tall, cement pillar, remembering her back being pressed painfully against it. Across from that pillar was the storage unit where all the quidditch gear was kept. Two and a half years ago, her life drastically changed. She had always been an anxious child and prone to melancholy, but two and a half years ago, after Marcus Flint assaulted her, Suri's mental health plummeted and it was a slow ascent to a better place. Suri stared down the long corridor to the storage unit. "I don't want to be afraid anymore," she said quietly, holding her necklace in her hand. Suri took another deep breath and headed for the storage unit.
She wasn't surprised to find the wooden door locked; only staff or quidditch captains had a key to the door. Taking her wand from her back pocket, Suri pointed at the door. "Alohamora," she murmured and the lock clicked open. Taking another slow breath, Suri pushed open the door.
The storage unit was as she remembered: brooms were on one side of the wall, extra uniforms were on the other, and on the far wall all the quidditch balls were kept. The familiar scent of broom polish filled her nostrils and Suri was surprised she didn't feel like vomiting; it barely made her feel queasy. Stepping into the storage unit, Suri eyed the rows of brooms and pulled one down. It was a standard one the school owned, unlike Malfoy's Nimbus 2001 and Harry's Firebolt. While she had to admit to the superior quality of Draco's and Harry's brooms, she was a firm believer that any broom would do so long as the flyer was skilled. Without another thought, mounted one broom, reached for another, and flew from the dim storage unit and into the brilliant sunlight over the quidditch field.
Her stop for the brooms made her five minutes late. Immediately, spotted Oliver. He sat somewhere in the middle of the bleachers, still with his knapsack, perking up when he saw her fly in. Suri flew a circle around him, dropping him the second broom. Her grey-blue eyes were bright with challenge. "Think you can keep up?"
Oliver didn't need further invitation, he was up and on the broom before Suri even finished her sentence. "I'll race you," he said, eyes dancing with sunlight and merriment. "Five laps around the quidditch field."
"What do I get when I win?" Suri asked, sticking out her tongue. Oliver chuckled good naturedly.
"You think you're so funny, don't you? If you win—hey!" Suri laughed and was off at full speed before Oliver could continue. "Cheater!"
"I'm an opportunist!" Suri yelled back, her long unbound hair flying like a black banner behind her. So much for brushing her hair before she saw him. A minute later, Oliver had caught up to her and they were neck and neck for the next four laps. Both Suri and Oliver took turns being in the lead by mere centimeters. On their final lap Suri got low on the broom so she was practically lying parallel to it, distributing her weight and balance to the front of the broom. It was a delicate maneuver—too much would send her toppling forward, but just enough gave her an edge…
"I win!" Suri beamed proudly as she and Oliver landed on the bleachers, sitting next to each other.
"Your flying is insane," Oliver shook his head, a mixture of awe and disappointment in his own loss. "I don't understand how you manage to fly like you do without falling off."
"Having a lower center of gravity has its advantages, I guess," said Suri, pushing her hair behind her ear. "So, about that prize?"
Oliver gave her a crooked grin, reaching for his backpack. "Lucky for you, I actually have something."
"Oliver, I'm kidding," Suri touched his arm as he unzipped his backpack. "I don't need anything!"
"Here." Oliver removed a brown bag, passing it to her. "Go on. It's yours either way."
Suri unrolled the top and extracted a small, white take-out box. The top of the box was decorated with a stamp that reads "Madam Puddifoot's Tea Shop." When she opened the lid, inside was a chocolate cauldron cake that looked freshly made and of higher quality than the ones sold on the Express. Suri's smile faltered for a second as she looked at the beautifully decorated sweet.
"This place is supposed to have the best cauldron cakes in Hogsmeade, so I had one made and sent here. It, er, came a couple of days ago, but I'm told their charmed to stay fresh until the box is opened."
"Madam Puddifoot's," Suri mused quietly, looking at Oliver who studied his hands. "That's the tea shop you take a date to."
When he finally looked up at her, his expression soft. "Before you showed up on that broom, because you were a bit late, I thought you'd stood me up."
"Never," Suri shook her head. "I'm sorry I was a little late, getting those brooms was something I had to do. I—I don't think I can explain it now."
Oliver nodded, understanding. "When I saw you fly in on that broom, your hair flying behind you like the wind...Suri, I've never seen anything look quite as good as you did in that moment. You looked...free. Happy."
"Oliver…" Suri put the cake aside. Turning to Oliver, Suri straddled the bleacher seat, one leg was on either side of the bench. That look in Oliver's kind eyes was back. A dark, longing look that Suri felt a response to in her lower stomach. "Would things have been so different if I was in Gryffindor," she asked, her voice quiet, breathless.
"Yes," Oliver answered. He put a hand on her knee. Through her denim, Suri was aware of the warmth of his palm as though it seeped through her denim and all through her body. She didn't flinch.
"How? If you knew I wasn't dating Nate, and that I fancied you since my first year, how would things be different?"
"That long?" Oliver's eyes were wide, and Suri laughed.
"On and off," she admitted bashfully. She then shook her head. "Mostly on."
"If you were in Gryffindor, you and I would have known each other much better," Oliver continued, his lips curled into an almost challenging smirk. Suri's hand covered Oliver's on her knee, their thumbs slowly circling one another's. Oliver continued. "We would have known each other better and you would have known I fancied you, too. If you were in Gryffindor, I would have asked you out ages ago."
Suri smiled, lacing her fingers with Oliver's. Her other hand touched the side of his face. "If you keep talking like that, Oliver Wood, I just might kiss you."
"If you were in Gryffindor, I think things would have been a lot more like…" Oliver trailed off as his hand snaked around her waist, pulling her closer to him. Suri tensed only a little, vaguely aware of how alone they were out here on the empty field. But the difference between now and her fourth year, what kept Suri from panicking, was how much she wanted Oliver to touch her and how much she wanted to touch him. She read the question in his mind—and in the way he looked at her lips—before it even left him.
"Can I—"
"Yes." Suri leaned forward, meeting Oliver in the middle. His lips were what she thought they would be. Warm, dry and slightly chapped. He tasted like mint toothpaste, as though he brushed his teeth before he met her. Both of Oliver's hands were on her now, and Suri wanted to get closer. His lips seemed to test her as they touched hers gently. Suri's hand behind his head, pulling him into her was all the encouragement Oliver needed. His lips left hers, kissing a line down her jaw and neck and back up, his gentleness moving aside for his need. Suri responded by shifting her body off the bench and onto his lap, her knees on either side of him. Oliver's hands were on her lower back, edging their way beneath her shirt and keeping her steady. His hands traced fire into her flesh until it pooled hotly low in her stomach. Somewhere in the back of her mind, as Oliver's lips nibbling at Suri's neck made her breathe out a sigh, Suri was well aware of how well she fit against Oliver and the way they seemed to move in perfect tandem with each other's bodies. She wondered if he felt it, too.
Free, she thought, remembering Oliver's word for her as her tongue slid along his, being with him made her feel free.
They broke apart again, foreheads pressed together, Suri's hair a dark curtain around them. The empty pitch and Hogwarts castle in the distance made it feel as though they were the only people in the world...and that was more than fine. Oliver kissed the underside her once more.
"If only you were in Gryffindor," he said, breathlessly, his eyes dancing mischievously. Suri smiled, kissing him again. They stayed like this for a while longer. She was mildly surprised by how unconcerned she felt straddling Oliver's waist. He didn't make her feel heavy or as though she were too much. His hands beneath her jumper, one flat against her lower back the other on the curve of her hip, as though they belonged there. For all Suri cared, they did. Oliver reached for her necklace between her breasts, rolling the shimmering vial between his fingers.
"My mum gave it to me on my fourth birthday," Suri explained. "I have a lot of her things, like photos of her and photos of my father, but this in particular, she gave to me. My grandmother said Mum had it since she was a Hogwarts student."
"Mm," Oliver murmured. "What's this swirling stuff inside?"
"I'm not sure. I think it's just some enchanted potion to give it a design." Suri had wondered about that before, too, but had never asked. She doubted Granna would know. The only person she could have asked was dead. Now that her head was more clear, Suri trailed a finger along Oliver's strong jaw. "Anyway, we came here for a purpose."
"More than this," he asked. His lips on her neck were so soft, they tickled. Suri giggled quietly. Carefully, she got off of him, sitting beside him instead. If she wasn't careful, she knew she would take things further than their kissing. A few years ago, Granna had given her the talk when she had her first period and told her about the long history of Maeve women giving birth at young ages. Tessa Rosier was seventeen when Suri was born. Granna had just turned nineteen when Tessa was born, and Granna's mother was eighteen. Each woman had been well aware of birth control. Suri had been scarred ever since.
"You know what I mean. We came here because we were talking about your plans after Hogwarts in the library."
Oliver reached for his backpack again, kicked off to the side somewhere when Suri climbed onto him, and pulled out two envelopes, handing them over. "These are my possibilities after graduation."
Suri scanned the letters, feeling Oliver watch her as she read. Her blue-grey eyes widened as she quickly opened the second. "You've been approached by the Falmouth Falcons and Puddlemere United! Oliver this is amazing!" Suri handed Oliver back his letters.
"Do you know which team you'll pick?"
"I don't know. Either one would be great, but I'm going to wait and see who offers me the better deal. They're waiting on me to graduate first."
"You think I could get your autograph now so I can save it for when you're famous?"
"Funny," Oliver smiled, kissing Suri's cheek. Suri wanted this moment to last forever.
They stayed out on the field a while longer, sometimes kissing, sometimes wrapped in each other's arms, talking about interests other than quidditch. Oliver found out Suri wanted to be a healer and loved the ocean. Suri found out that Oliver enjoyed travelling and loved muggle sports. Neither of them were overly fond of reading. Suri talked about being raised like an only child and quiet holidays, and Oliver talked about Laurel and his extended family. By the time the two of them decided it was time to go back to the castle, Suri found herself more endeared to Oliver.
"How did you get in here," asked Oliver when they put the brooms back. "The only students who have a key are captains and we all turned those in last week."
Suri shrugged. "If they didn't want students in, they would have used an anti-unlocking charm."
They walked into Hogwarts, holding hands. In the Main Entrance, Suri rose to her toes to kiss Oliver's cheek. "Whichever team you choose will be lucky to have you."
"Thanks," said Oliver. He looked to his left where Suri had to go to make her way to Slytherin's dungeons; Oliver had to go to the right to Gryffindor's Tower. He squeezed her hand before they parted. "If only you were in Gryffindor."
X
Finals came and went. Now, the only great concern around the school was Sirius Black, but even he couldn't dampen the spirits of students eager for the summer holidays to begin. Even as most of the student body seemed to breathe easier, Suri found herself worried. In the last few weeks, since she'd started studying for finals, Nate had made himself sparse. She hardly saw him in the Common Room, and when he ate in the Great Hall, he was unusually quiet. Suri asked Gemma, but Gemma offered no insight. With Legilimency, Suri discovered Nate and Gemma were having frequent arguments.
Late one afternoon, as Suri went on a walk following her hours in the infirmary she spotted Nate sitting in the corner of the courtyard with a book.
"Nate!" Suri joined her friend and he hardly glanced up at her. "I've been looking everywhere…what's wrong?" Suri's eyebrows knitted together with concern when she caught the blank expression on Nate's face.
"Nothing." His tone was curt and dismissive.
"Nate." Suri sat beside him. "You wouldn't let me get away with saying nothing, so you don't get away with it."
Nate closed his book with a sigh. Looking at Suri, he looked conflicted. "You promise you won't ask me for details for a little while?"
"I swear it."
"Gemma and I broke up last week, and I just...didn't want to talk about it."
"Nate…" Suri frowned and rested her head on his shoulder. After a pause, Nate put his head on hers.
"No pity either, Rosier-Black."
"You know I don't do pity unless you're Mara Selwyn."
They remained quietly like this for some time until Nate exhaled heavily. "Tell me something so I can stop thinking about it."
"I kissed Oliver Wood. Several times, actually."
Nate jumped at this. "What?! When!?"
"You're sure you want to talk about this," Suri asked looking at Nate, his hazel eyes as wide as saucers. "You won't feel…"
"Yeah, yeah, I'm still upset, but Suri, this has been six long years of you pining over that dumb jock. It's been so long that even I became emotionally invested. I need to know."
"Well, it started last week when I went to the library to study and—" Suri abruptly trailed off, squinting into the distance behind Nate. He looked at her quizzically.
"Nate," Suri said carefully. "Turn around and tell me what you see, just over there by the trees going toward Hagrid's Hut."
"What?" Nate turned. "I see trees, and...is that a dog?"
Suri was up and sprinting after the dog before Nate said anything else. She ran through the courtyard and onto the grassy field where the dog had started running away from her.
"You aren't getting away," Suri breathed and she reached for her wand. "Arresto momentum!"
The dog moved sharply to the left dodging her spell; Suri swore angrily. Just when Suri almost caught up with the dog, it took a sharp right and started running back to the school, and she knew it—Sirius Black—was taunting her.
The dog ran straight toward the Whomping Willow, and eventually outran her. Suri doubled over to catch her breath, pressing a hand to the stitch in her side.
"Suri!" Nate caught up to her a minute later, also breathing heavily. "What the hell was that? That giant thing."
"That thing the size of a small bear," Suri huffed, "was a dog."
"No kidding," Nate panted. "There's no way either of us could have caught it!"
"I need to go after him," Suri said and started toward the Whomping Willow.
"No!" Nate grabbed her arm. "You don't know if it's tame or not, and besides, we've got bigger problems. Look!" Nate turned Suri around and pointed at the castle. Around the side of Hogwarts, near one of the exterior hallways, was a swirl of shadows. Dementors. Beneath them, Suri realized, were some of her housemates.
"It's probably just Malfoy getting into trouble," said Suri, looking back at the Whomping Willow. "They'll be fine."
"I don't know," said Nate. "There's at least seven dementors swarming about. Even if people like Malfoy or Flint weren't total clodpoles, that's too many for them to handle. Do what you want, but I'm going."
Suri looked back at the Whomping Willow where she last saw Sirius then looked back at Nate, already racing toward the school. She couldn't care less about Flint and his idiot friends, but if Nate got hurt in the process, she'd never forgive herself. Swearing again, Suri ran after him.
"Stupefy!"
The spell cast by Marcus Flint went straight through the dementor and Suri immediately cast a shielding charm so the stray spell didn't hit her or Nate.
"Why won't they go away?" cried Margo, a seventh year Slytherin with coal-dark eyes.
"Because only a patronus charm works on dementors!" This was Mara; her voice shook with fear.
"Expecto Patronum!" Not even a glimpse of silver light came from Mara's wand.
"Avery!" Flint called when he saw Nate and Suri. "H-help us!"
At least a dozen dementors circled Flint, Mara, Margo and two other Slytherin seventh years. They all looked equally terrified and numb.
"The Patronus charm is the advanced magic," Nate muttered, he had broken into a cold sweat. "I don't know if I can." He looked at his housemates and grimaced. Suri knew what he was feeling as two dementors had noticed them, immediately sucking at their joy. "Expecto Patronum!"
Silver light burst from Nate's wand, but the dementors continued, undeterred. By now, half of the dementors still circled Marcus and his gang while the other half glided around Nate and Suri, emptying them of every joyful feeling.
"We need to get Snape or Dumbledore," said Nate. His voice sounded so far away.
Suri knees were weak as she felt nothing; she wanted nothing more than to succumb to the darkness the dementors left behind. Shaking her head, she reached for her wand. Joy and confidence. Suri thought of Nate and the froth mustache competitions over mugs of warm butterbeer. She thought of Oliver and his lips and the way she felt so light around him. She thought of that time she raced him around the field and of freedom. Planting her feet, Suri raised her wand.
"Expecto Patronum!"
Bursting forth in brilliant silver light, brighter than any of Suri's past conjurings was a hawk. The hawk soared around the dementors that surrounded Nate and Suri, driving them away before flying toward the ones attacking her housemates.
"I did it," Suri murmured to herself, feeling pride melt the sharp edges of the cold left by the dementors. "I conjured a patronus!"
"Avery! What's she doing here," Mara's shrill voice cut through the night. She glared at Suri. Mara Selwyn, at seventeen now, had grown to be a tall and willowy girl with her pale blonde hair and blue eyes that made her almost ethereal. But it was her sour attitude and contemptuous words that robbed her from being truly beautiful.
"You know I'm not part of this, Selwyn." Nate spoke harshly. Suri raised an eyebrow. She and Mara would never be friends again. Their animosity had created tension over the past couple years in the girls' dormitory. Neither Mara nor Suri attempted anything against each other in the dorms, just their general frostiness made Gemma and Carly uncomfortable.
"Part of what?"
"Oh," Mara snickered. "You mean he didn't tell you?"
"Mara," Nate growled.
"Your perfect Nate is one of us, Suri. You could be too, if you aren't too busy playing with mudblood lovers. With your family names the Dark Lo-"
"Flipendo!" Nate's jinx hit Mara square in the chest and sent her flying black.
"Avery!" Flint shouted and raised his wand.
"Don't even try," Suri warned and pointed her wand at him, she kept wary eyes on the other three Slytherins who stood behind Flint, hesitating to raise their wands. Mara rose to her feet and winced as she held her wrist. From where she was, Suri could tell it was broken.
She wanted to leave Mara in pain, it served the girl right after the way she treated Suri after her sexual assault. But the part of Suri that dedicated herself to the healing arts faltered. Begrudgingly, she frowned at Mara, still keeping her wand on Flint. "I can heal that."
"I don't need you to!" Mara spat and winced again. "I don't need you treating me like you're above me!"
"Your wrist is broken you idiot!" Suri yelled. "Do you want to explain to Pomfrey how that happened? We're here because, apparently, your dumbasses decided to taunt some dementors and couldn't handle it, and now we're all stuck in this mess!"
"Miss Rosier-Black!"
Everyone turned at the sound of Remus Lupin's voice. His tired, scarred face eyed each Slytherin wearily and irritably.
"There'd better be a good explanation why Miss Selwyn's wrist is broken and why you and Mr. Avery have your wands pointed at Mr. Flint." Remus used his stern teaching voice.
"We don't have to explain ourselves to you," Bledsoe, a seventh year boy and one of Suri's former teammates taunted Remus. "You're not our head of house."
"But I'm your professor, and just because finals are done does not mean you've graduated."
"Dementors got close to the school," Nate answered quickly, lowering his wand. "Mara and Flint and the rest of them tried to get them to leave, but they couldn't perform a proper Patronus. Suri and I were on a walk and we saw the dementors swarming them. I ran to save them, but I couldn't do the patronus charm. Suri could and she saved us all."
"I fell," Mara quickly added, "when a dementor came after me. I got scared and tried to run, but I fell and broke my wrist. Suri wanted to heal it, but I wouldn't let her because she's not a proper healer." Suri wanted to slap Mara for that final, snide remark about her skills.
"Flint is still a bit touchy from the dementor attack and when Suri took a step forward he pointed a wand at her, and we pointed at him, and well, you came," Nate concluded.
As much as they might have detested each other, the Slytherin students managed to seamlessly bring together a lie to protect one another from an outsider. Remus looked at each student, and finally his gaze rested on Suri.
"It's all true, Professor," said Suri. Beyond her Defense Against the Dark Arts classes, this was the first time she'd talked to him in months.
"Alright then," Remus finally said when he realized the group wouldn't change their sloppy story. "Miss Selwyn, take yourself to the infirmary and the rest of you return to your house at once. None of you should be out here without proper reason."
The students fled as soon as Remus dismissed them. When Suri looked over her shoulder at him, she noticed he had pulled out a folded bit of parchment and traced his wand across it, as if tracing a map trail, before he disappeared. Suri pressed into his mind and her mouth fell open. Remus was looking for Sirius!
"Suri," Nate urged, unaware of Suri's sudden realization. "Let's go to the Clock tower."
Suri hovered, bouncing from foot to foot, caught between wanting to find her father and needing to know what Mara was talking about. She doubted Remus would let her tag along, and the look in Nate's eyes was almost unbearable. It was a common theme for Suri, every time she got close to Sirius, something pulled him from her reach. She followed Nate.
X
"You're telling me, for the past three years, your family has been hosting summer gatherings for pureblood families and supporters of Voldemort?" Suri shivered when she said his name. She knew most people called him "you-know-who", but she had been raised to call him by his name or the Dark Lord, another sign of her blood privilege.
"Your grandmother has been continuously invited, but she has consistently declined each time. It might have to do with the fact that your grandfather attends. If it matters, her invitation has extended to you."
"Maybe," Suri knew Grant Rosier, her grandfather was still alive; somehow he evaded Azkaban. Whether Amalia Rosier had divorced him or simply separated from him was unknown. "Or maybe she's not going because she lost a daughter to the Dark Lord in the First Wizarding War." Suri said bitterly. Nate grimaced apologetically.
"You kept all of this from me," Suri said, her tone flat. "Why would you keep all of this from me?"
"Because you're so…" Nate groaned angrily.
"What? I wouldn't understand? Or naive? Or…" Suri prompted. Her heart dropped to the pit of her stomach as her mind ran away from her—she thought Nate was the one person she could trust, but it turned out he didn't trust her as much as he let on.
"No! I just...just read my mind, Suri, that's the easiest way." Nate scooted around so he sat in front of Suri.
Suri looked at him warily before she blew out a sigh. "Fine." She looked into his hazel eyes, and instantaneously, she was taken into Nate's memories.
She swam to his early memory threads: a childhood being the only young child among adults. She saw a young Nate being pushed to hobbies such as piano and fencing, even when he didn't want to do it. A young Nate, the year before Hogwarts, learning about blood purity and the sacred twenty-eight families. Nate raised to believe he was better than everyone else, solely because of his blood status...and he hated every minute.
Then Hogwarts started and he met Suri, and in every single one of his memories of her, she glowed with an inner radiance that lit up the dark corners of who he was. She did all of this while she kept her chin up as everyone else whispered about her parents, and how she must have inherited Sirius Black's instability.
He knew who she was the second he heard her name, and she seemed like someone he should befriend. Suri Rosier-Black would be just as wealthy and just as pure as his family expected. And he thought she was cute.
Then he quickly learned that it wasn't arrogance Suri had, but a casual elegance and disregard for the rules he was raised to follow. Though she was born just as wealthy as him, if not more, she chose to believe she was no better than anyone else, with the exception of their housemates. This alone showed Nate that Suri was made of higher qualities than those around them.
And Nate loved her because she chose to be his friend because she liked him. For the first time, someone cared about his thoughts and who he was because of him, not because of his blood status or family name. Nate would do anything to protect this one good thing he had. If he kept it safe, maybe he could one day be it, too.
Nate's memories shifted again, and it was the summer before their third year, at the first summer gathering. Several families were present, along with their children like Mara Selwyn, Marcus Flint, and several upperclassmen Slytherins.
It was the first time Nate was told he was expected to follow the footsteps of his family before him and support the ideas of the Dark Lord as a Death Eater, and he was terrified.
He hardly cared about muggle born witches and wizards, but he would never hurt someone without probable cause or self-preservation.
But he was mostly terrified, because if Suri ever found out he had to become a Death Eater or support the Dark Lord, Suri might hate him forever.
When Suri pulled out from Nate's thoughts, it was like she saw him for the first time all over again. She saw his tired eyes and his generally impeccable appearance, and she realized it was all a facade to hide how scared he was. She reached for his hands.
"Nate, I will always be on your side. Always. Don't you ever forget that."
Nate put his hand over Suri's and gripped it tight like a person at sea holding onto a lifeline. "Good," he simply said. "Good."
Seconds later they heard a loud blast from a tower several floors above the clock tower. Suri and Nate looked at each other and ran to the edge of the balcony, craning their necks to the sky.
"Is that…" Nate squinted into the night.
"That's a hippogriff and that's a rider," Suri confirmed. She squinted as well, and she was overcome by a sinking feeling in her stomach. She couldn't see the rider, but she had a strong feeling of who it might have been.
X
On the last day of school, before students were expected to board the Express, she was pulled into Dumbledore's office early in the morning. Both Albus Dumbledore and Remus Lupin were there.
She sat in stunned silence after Dumbledore and Remus told her about the events from yesterday that unfolded all while Suri and Nate prevented dementors from kissing their housemates, and while she navigated through his mind in the clock tower.
"M-my father is innocent." Suri's grey-blue eyes were unseeing as she played with her crystal vial necklace. "He never killed those muggles. He was framed."
"He was, Suri," Remus said gently. Suri looked at her godfather.
"I stopped trusting you because I knew my father begged my grandmother to be my caretaker if he and Mum couldn't be there. I thought that was because he stopped trusting you."
"He did," Remus agreed. "But that was because the War was a terribly stressful time, and unfortunately, your father fell victim to the stress. That, and he also knew I was a werewolf, so I think that forced his hand. He and Tessa hardly saw eye-to-eye about my furry little problem."
"Your father is an innocent man, Miss Rosier-Black, but unfortunately, this will only be known by a handful of people at this time. Until he is found and can prove his innocence, he is still considered a very dangerous criminal," Dumbledore said.
"Do you know where he is? I want to see him." Suri jumped to her feet. "He only left yesterday and—"
"Suri," Remus said, his voice heavy. "He's gone for now."
"I understand," Suri smiled too brightly at Remus and Dumbledore. "I should get going, I don't want to miss the Express home. Moons, I've spoken with my grandmother, and the Maeve Manor in Northern Ireland will be available to you until you find a place to stay. Or if you choose to stay on your own, my home in Scotland will be yours to use as well."
Suri ran out of the office and was almost halfway down the stairs when her tears started to come. At the end of the day, she was still just a little girl who wanted her dad.
X
Carly and Willem went in search of the trolley witch for snacks, and Nate nudged Suri with his foot; she had hardly spoken a word since she boarded the Express and stared out the window. Of course Nate knew why—she had told him when he caught her at the bottom of Dumbledore's staircase, blinded by her tears.
"I'm ready to tell you why Gemma and I broke up."
This got Suri's attention. She sat up and looked at Nate, as if pulled out from a fog. The boy took a deep breath. "I told her about Michael Polley from third year. I told her I like boys too. She told me she could handle my family being Death Eaters, but something about me liking boys too sent her over the edge. She believes you can't like both boys and girls, and so I broke up with her, because I didn't want to live a lie. Not about that."
"You deserve better," Suri said with certainty. "You deserve someone who loves every piece of you."
"I know," Nate said and it was his turn to look out the window. A second later he added, almost to himself, "I think I loved her though."
Suri had no idea what to say, but she didn't need to say anything. A knock on her compartment door got their attention. It was Harry Potter, and he held a letter.
"Suri," he said, his voice almost shy. This was the first time he had talked to her since December when he found out her dad was his godfather. "Hi."
"Hi, Harry," Suri responded carefully. Harry held out the letter to her.
"This is for you," he said. He regarded Nate warily.
"He's safe," Suri said, and Harry seemed to know what she meant. She took the letter. "Thanks."
"Yeah." Harry started sliding the compartment door closed again, and stopped halfway. His emerald green eyes found hers. "Suri, I'm really sorry about everything and not talking to you. Do you think we can still be friends?"
Suri smiled for the first time since she got on the Express. "Yes, Harry. Of course we can be friends."
"What's in the letter," Nate asked, after Harry left, resting his head on Suri's shoulder to read along.
"I'm not sure." Suri tore open the letter, tears springing to her eyes as she read.
My Suri-girl,
There aren't enough letters a single owl could carry to tell you everything I need to say to you. For now, this letter will have to be a start. By the time this reaches you, I hope to be out of the reach of the UK's jurisdiction, and unfortunately I cannot tell you where that might be. I hope to be somewhere in the sun—it's been so long since I've been warmed by it.
You have seen me a handful of times this year as a dog, and there have been times when I saw you without you realizing it. Those were the most painful times-all I wanted to do was hold you like the little girl you are in my memories. You aren't that little girl anymore.
You have grown into such a beautiful young woman, and you must know you would have made your mother incredibly proud, just as you have made me. It was the thought of you that kept me sane while I was in Azkaban, and for a while it was the visits to my dreams you provided when you were still small.
I will see you again, Suri Ariel Rosier-Black, and when I do, I hope it is as a free man so that I can step in and make-up for the years we have lost.
In the meantime, I hope we can keep in touch by writing, and should you ever need me, I will be there.
Especially since I have no idea who that boy with the roaming hands on an empty quidditch field is. Or the boy in the courtyard. Moony's details are far too vague for my comfort. A Gryffindor jock and a Slytherin. As you know, I am, of course, biased toward Gryffindor. I expect a full detailed report.
You remind me of me during a time when your mother and I were "just friends". Make wise choices. Boys are incredibly idiotic creatures, and you, Suri-girl, deserve only the best.
Your father,
Sirius Black
Author's Note:
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