Sequel to "THORNS"

- Of Earth & Stars -

Chapter 31: Sirius and Suri and Tessa

July - August 1994

"...She's a child, Remus! My child! You shouldn't have brought her here! You know the mistakes we made when we were her age."

Stirred awake by the arguing, Suri blinked the sleep from her eyes, keeping her movements subtle so neither Remus or Sirius would know she listened. Still lying in bed, she looked up at the hut's ceiling, as her father and Remus barely contain their argument. Light filtered into the hut in a dark hue of blue slowly growing brighter; Suri imagined the sun slowly starting to rise beyond the palm trees.

"She was the one who found meand I was in hiding," Remus hissed back. "That says something more than enough about her. Suri thought you'd be here. Without her, I don't think I would have been able to track you down. And, as I said, I was careful to cover our tracks along the way."

"I would have sent a letter when I felt it was safe," Sirius barely contained his volume. Through the thin tarp, Suri noticed her father's shadow as he paced restlessly and detecting the slur in his speech. Sirius was still drunk.

Remus sighed heavily. When he spoke, his tone was strained, as though he worked to remain patient. "She's a lot like you, Padfoot, talented with a streak of recklessness—there's nothing that would have kept her from you, so be glad she had a mind to ask me to help. And with that Maeve gifting—"

"The Maeve gifting," Sirius sneered venomously. Unable to listen any longer, Suri rose from her cot, pushing the tarp curtains aside to join her father and godfather.

"Suri!" Remus, at least, appeared contrite. Sirius just staggered around to look at her. Though he faced her, he seemed to look right through her, as though she weren't there. Storm-colored eyes levels against haunted grey as Suri folded her arms across her chest.

"Are you pissed again," Suri sneered.

"Are you a seer too, Suri-girl," Sirius slurred, meeting her disgust with anger of his own.

"A seer?" Suri raised an eyebrow. "No, I'm not. But I don't need to be one to see that you're barely standing on your own two feet!"

"Your mother was a Seer. Seers are a rare breed, Suri-girl, but apparently there's a history of them in the Maeve family—your mother being the most recent. She was wicked skilled at occlumency too. Legilimency was her weakness."

"Legilimency comes naturally to me."

"Oh good, as long as you're not a Seer! Seers, by far are the most unreliable bunch!" Sirius's barking laugh was harsh and cruel. Suri and Remus both flinched.

"Sirius, walk it off," Remus warned quietly. Remus's face, Suri noticed was taut not only with frustration but pain. Suri knew without a doubt, Remus was also cut by Sirius's words, all three of them experiencing Tessa's loss through in lonely ways.

Suri knew she should have left it, that she should have taken the higher road, but watching Sirius reach for his ceramic jug of alcohol made her furious. "Go on, Dad, you're not finished, are you? What makes Seers so unreliable?"

"Tessa Saw several visions in all the time I knew her. She saw that she would have to make the choice between the Order of the Phoenix and the bloody Death Eaters. She saw that she would have you, and she also saw her death. Damn good those visions ever did her, because she couldn't save herself. What's the point of being a Seer if you can't use it to your advantage?" Sirius sank heavily onto one of the transfigured cots on the ground, his voice breaking at the end of his rant. After several deep breaths, he looked up at Remus and Suri.

"I wish I would have died with her. And James and Lily. Why couldn't it have been me?"

Suri walked over to her father and reached for the ceramic jug beside him. Wordlessly she took the jug then threw open the door of the hut, ignoring Sirius and Remus as they called after her. The hut, being on a boardwalk, was only several steps away from a small ladder leading into the ocean.

Climbing down the ladder, Suri perched on a middle rung, letting the water from the Pacific Ocean lap at her toes. Shaking the half-empty jug, listening to the contents swish about, Suri lifted it to her lips, taking three giant gulps. The whisky burned her throat and stung all the way down to her gut. Wiping her mouth on her forearm, she found herself blandly impressed Sirius still managed to be on his feet after how much he drank. She figured her high tolerance for alcohol came from her father, and a quarter of the powerful whiskey in the jug would have knocked her out. Sirius had drunk half.

With both hands, Suri turned the jug over and watched as the amber liquid spilled into the ocean until it was hollow. Then, dipping the jug into the cold salt water she waited until it was full before she climbed back up the ladder and walked into the hut. Now Remus was sitting beside her father, both men hunched against the weight of their grief.

"Moons, you should probably move." Suri's voice was oddly calm.

Whatever Remus saw in Suri's storm-colored eyes made him quickly rise to his feet just as Suri took the jug full of cold salt water and dumped it over her father's head. Sirius swore angrily and Suri dropped the jug to the ground, hardly flinching when the little handle shattered off.

'What the bloody hell?!" Sirius rose to his feet, pushing his sopping wet hair out of his face. Though he was easily taller than his daughter, the strength of Suri's fury made them seem eye-level.

"I've felt the presence of dementors, and no matter how much I empathize with you, I'll never fully understand what twelve years of Azkaban did to you. But you need to know that you're not the only one who lost someone all those years ago. I lost Uncle James and Ally and baby Harry! I lost Mum, and I lost you! Then I lost Moons when I was sent to live with Granna. Compared to Azkaban I've lived a very charming life, but for the past twelve years I had to live in yours and Mum's shadow. I can't compare to Mum's perfection, and I have to prove every day that I'm nothing like my muggle-killing father! Up until Moons and Dumbledore told me you were innocent, I've been so mad at you. I was mad that you couldn't keep yourself together to be my dad. I came looking for you this time because of that letter you sent me. It made me think we could have a shot at patching things up. But if all you want to be is pissed and dead, then forget it! I lived twelve years without you, and I can go the rest of my life without you too! I've managed just fine without anyone!"

The sound of waves crashing against the shore followed the echoes of Suri's explosion. Sirius and Remus watched Suri stalk over to her knapsack on the table, extracting rolls of muggle clothes, and a black traveling kit that one might keep makeup in. She slammed each item down as she brought them out.

"These are for you. Clothes in case you needed something that didn't remind you of prison. There's also a sports coat for you, Moons, because you deserve better than the robes you've got. This bag has shaving and grooming things too. I figured you'd need it. I put a week's worth of food in your pantry yesterday."

Still not making eye contact, Suri closed up her knapsack, threw it on her shoulders, and slammed the hut's door behind her. She hadn't expected to yell at her father, but she hadn't expected him to be chronically drunk either. His letter to her had sounded so hopeful, so she hadn't expected that he would be upset with her because she was a mere memory that she couldn't live up to. A sob hitched in Suri's lungs and she picked up her pace, sprinting off the boardwalk.

X

Sirius found Suri an hour later, almost on the other side of the small island. At some point, she had changed from her pajamas and into black cut-off shorts and a white t-shirt, her knapsack in the sand beside her. For a minute, Sirius stood at his distance, quietly watching his child. With her knees drawn to her chest, Sirius was once again struck by how petite Suri was; he wondered if her being born a month early contributed to her size. He noticed her body was softer than her mother's—the Rosier body, Tess would have said—though Suri was reminiscent of some of regal ancestors from the Black lineage. He took in her long wavy hair that blew in the ocean breeze, the exact shade of his own, and he couldn't help but smile. Tessa had fretted that Suri would struggle with her weight when she got older. However, Sirius knew the truth: curves or no curves, Suri Ariel looked a lot like him with Tessa's impossible beauty.

Sirius's feet in the sand carried him to Suri until he was sitting beside her. Suri continued to watch the water, her eyes were a war between Tessa's deep blue and Sirius's own enigmatic grey. She hardly acknowledged his presence as he sat. So, Sirius remained silent, casually draping his arms around his knees, mirroring his daughter's shell.

"Granna says I have your temper," Suri finally said, minutes later, without looking at him.

"Between tossing out my whisky, dumping ocean water on me, and yelling at me, I haven't noticed." Sirius smirked.

"She said Mum was always even-tempered, but you were the volatile one, and I took after you." She then shrugged her shoulders. "I've been known to hex people a time or two if they deserve it."

"You don't like being compared to me," Sirius observed. Had he not been watching Suri, he would have missed the subtle flit of emotion across her face.

Suri twisted something in her hands—Tessa's necklace given to Suri twelve years ago. Sirius was surprised by his emotional reaction to a damn piece of jewelry.

"I've spent the past twelve years being compared. Granna says I've got Mum's nose, eyebrow arches, lip shape, and chin. I've got her ability to fly. She says I have your coloring, your temper and your impulsivity. At school, the kinder professors say I get good marks because both you and Mum were excellent students. The ones who aren't so kind, and most of the students, look at me like I'm one charm away from being unstable just like you. It seems like hardly anyone notices the things I do because of my own talent or decisions."

"It is an incredibly hard life living up to expectations you don't want," Sirius agreed knowingly. He thought of his own unhappy childhood, constantly being told to be something he wasn't. His only bright, shining stars were Hogwarts, and the life he built with his friends and Tessa. If Suri was anything like him...Sirius stopped that train of thought. He never wanted his kid to go through the same kind of pain he endured. "It must be harder to do so when you've spent so much time hating yourself, too because of all the noise telling you who to be or not to be. I imagine you've done things to stand out to show everyone you're different?"

For the first time since he sat, Suri looked up at him. "The Sorting Hat wanted to put me in Gryffindor. But I tried to use occlumency on the Hat and ended up in Slytherin. I didn't want to be like you, but I think I would have been happier if I was in Gryffindor. In quidditch, I ended up as a keeper instead of a chaser like Mum."

"Remus tells me you are well-liked by most. Well, up until this past year."

"Maybe. People know I'm clever and a good flyer. People know that I'll hex someone who's wronged me or someone I care about. But all that means nothing when you're the daughter of a muggle killer."

"Remus mentioned that there are a handful of Gryffindors you get on with well." Sirius heart sank at the idea that there was no reprieve for Suri anywhere.

"Is he talking about the Weasley twins?" Suri scrunched her nose. "Fred and George are thorns in my side!"

Sirius barked with laughter at his daughter's passionate anger. His heart lightened when a ghost of a smile touched her lips.

"Your mother said the same about me, and well, we had you."

"Stop!" Suri held up a hand. "I'm not emotionally prepared for my conception story, and before you think about it, I don't have any interest in dating a Weasley!"

"I trust you," Sirius laughed. "Besides, it seems like there's someone else that has your attention—that boy from the quidditch field. He's a Gryffindor, right?"

"Oliver Wood! He's just a...well...he's a friend." Suri opened her mouth to add something, but quickly closed it, a blush that crept up her neck and onto her face. He raised an eyebrow. A part of Sirius was incredibly amused—he expected his sixteen-year-old to have an interest in someone, it was natural. But his paternal instincts wanted to know every last detail about Oliver, so he could hunt him down and kill him just because his daughter fancied him.

"I never snogged my friends the way you snogged that boy. Well, that's a lie—"

"I—what? You saw that?!" Suri's eyes were saucers as her face grew redder still. "I can't believe you!"

"Friends or not, I'll be teaching you a hex or two in case a boy gets handsy with you—"

"Too fucking late for that one, Dad," Suri murmured and was immediately on her feet, walking toward the ocean. Sirius blinked at the rapid change when scorching anger dropped into his stomach.

"Suri!" Sirius jumped up, going after Suri. He reached for her arm just as their feet touched the cold Pacific. Wrenching her arm away from him, Suri folded her arms around her protectively, as though trying to keep him and everyone else away. Sirius didn't need to have Tess's gifts to know something terrible had happened to their daughter. "Someone hurt you. Who was it? That Oliver boy?"

"No, Daddy, no, it's fine. It happened two years ago—"

"Two years!" Suri would have been only fourteen, and still a child! At fourteen, Sirius had snogged, among other things, more than five girls, but he had never touched any of them without their permission. Even then, as a young boy, he knew better. There was never any excuse for a boy to put his hands on a girl who didn't ask.

"Daddy," Suri repeated sharply, cutting into his murderous thoughts. He would gladly go back to Azkaban for a crime he wouldcommit. "I hexed him and kneed him veryhard that night. I'm slowly letting go of...that event...so it's okay. I'm okay now."

Both Sirius and Suri knew this was a lie.

"I wasn't there to protect you." Sirius reached out an arm, around Suri's protective shell. He was surprised when she held him tightly, too. The waves crashed against their legs and the rushing water back into the ocean buried their feet into the wet sand, sealing them in time.

"Even if you weren't in Azkaban, what would you have done," Suri chuckled gently. "It happened at school, it's not like you would be at school with me."

"If I wasn't in Azkaban, I assure you, the second you would've told me a boy fancies you, Peeves and I would have made very good roommates up until your graduation. Then I would have followed you into your career of choice until you reach the age of thirty. Your mother's family has an absurd history of pregnancies at a young age, and I assure you that won't be your story. I'm even skeptical of allowing you to go back to Hogwarts this year. Maybe an all-girls school will be better." Sirius held on tighter.

"I can handle myself just fine." Suri laughed, pulling away. Sirius noticed that her smile didn't reach her eyes as she shook the sand off her feet, droplets of water splashing up at them. At the same time, both Suri and Sirius ran a hand through their long hair.

"I understand how much you hate being compared to your mother or to me. The truth is, Suri-girl, when I look at you quickly, I see your mother's face. When you say something to me and you're not in my line of sight, I almost think it's Tess talking to me—that's how similar your voices are. Your mother was my home like no one else, and there will never be a day when I don't think of her. I spent so many years with her that being without her—even out of Azkaban—is like a living hell. It will always be hard for me. But four years before she died, she gave me you. You're my home too. Wherever you are, I'm with you, even when I can't physically be there. I can tell you're nothing like your mum, and you're nothing like me. You're something amazing all on your own, and if Tess were here, she would absolutely agree. You've surpassed our wildest dreams, Suri-girl."

"Even if I'm short and have the Rosier body?"

"That's one thing your mother and I never agreed on. She wanted you to watch what you ate, even when you were a kid, but I would always sneak you sweets when she wasn't looking."

"I remember," Suri smiled. "We'd share chocolate frogs during bedtime stories. Chocolate is my favorite."

"Mine too." Sirius threw his arm over Suri's shoulders and they walked out of the sea and toward her knapsack in the sand.

"You aren't thinking of leaving, are you?" Sirius raised an eyebrow at her knapsack.

"I didn't want to, but if you don't want me around, I would have left. I started walking toward the village but then...I don't know...I came here to clear my head instead."

"I'm glad you did, Suri-girl. I want you to stay, but only if you want to."

"Of course I do," Suri answered, hope evident in her tone. "Though I can only stay until mid-August. I need to be back for the World Quidditch Cup. Granna says I need to prove to the Ministry of Magic that I did normal things instead of spending the entire summer looking for you."

"She's a smart woman," Sirius nodded. "That gives us a little over five weeks."

"That's not enough time." Suri stooped to retrieve her bag and put it back on.

"I completely agree. But it's definitely a start."

Suri nodded, smiling at him, and Sirius's heart soared. Walking along the beach, Sirius thought of Tess. How did we get so lucky, Princess? She's more brilliant than even you could have Seen.

X

As the walked the beach, and their conversation lulled to a comfortable silence, Suri took the time to look around and over her shoulder. Fifteen minutes ago she was sure they were going in the opposite direction of the hut, but she kept quiet, figuring Sirius was taking a shortcut. Now that she was certain they weren'tgoing toward the hut she glanced at Sirius who strode easily beside her, hands in his pockets, with easy grace. "Um, where are we going? Isn't the hut to the south?"

Sirius grinned at her, in spite of his emaciated appearance, Suri could see that shimmer of handsomeness shine through his grime. "Trust me Suri-girl. There's a reason I chose this island instead of going to Sri Lanka."

"What's special about this island?"

"There's a hidden pensieve that few people know about. The ancient wizards and witches that inhabited this island centuries ago carved it into the side of a sea stack. It can only be found when the tide is low. If we hurry, we'll be able to use it today."

"A pensieve? Who's memories are we going to look at?" In all their conversation, Sirius hadn't mentioned a pensieve—was there no rhyme or reason to his actions?

"Mine and your mum's."

"How?" Surprise stopped Suri in her tracks. "I mean, I know how we'll see your memories because you're standing in front of me, but how will we see Mum's? Do you have a bit of her hair or a preserved tear or something?"

Sirius, who had walked a few steps before realizing Suri stopped, strolled back to her. Reaching out from his pocket, he pointed at her shimmering crystal vial necklace, catching the light from the sun. Reflexively, Suri reached for her necklace and held it between her fingers. Sirius's bright grey eyes and easy smile never wavered.

"Did you think that crystal vial was just for show all this time?"

X

The tide was low when they reached the giant sea stack shaped like a dome. Sirius practically ran to the concave of the large formation, Suri just steps behind. Suri had only ever seen a pensieve in her Defense Against the Dark Arts textbooks and she hadn't had the opportunity to ever use one. Typically, the magical object was set in dark metal. However, pensieve, similar to what she saw in the books, was engraved with ancient magical runes, but instead of metal, it was made of a dark abalone shell containing what looked to be foggy liquid. Suri had taken off her necklace as she slowly turned the vial between her fingers, examining the silvery, glimmering substance. All this time her mother's and father's memories were literally right next to her heart. "I always thought it was just a decorative charm so it wouldn't be empty."

"The vial was empty when Tess wore it," Sirius supplied, transfixed on the memories like a man who hadn't had water in days. "Before she gave it to you, she thought she would fill it with her memories, and I thought it would be terribly unfair if you only saw one half of a story." Sirius finally dragged his gaze up to meet Suri's. "Are you ready?"

Stepping up to the pensieve, Suri ran a hand along it's rim, staring into the formless, foggy liquid. Heart pounding, and with excruciating care, Suri undid the vial's stopper and held it poised over the pensieve. She glanced back at Sirius, the silently longing in his face screamed at her as he watched her hand. "Maybe you should see these too, Daddy."

The Adam's apple in Sirius's throat worked as he swallowed back his emotion. Stepping forward, he put a hand on Suri's shoulder. "Thank you."

Suri tipped the contents of her crystal vial into the pensieve. Once empty, she quickly recapped the vial and returned the necklace around her neck, feeling unbalanced without it. Then, sharing a glance with her father, Suri and Sirius bent forward, diving headfirst into the old memories.

Instead of plunging into water, Suri was thrust into a grey fog that reminded her of slow-moving apparition. For a long moment, she was caught in the slow, swirling fog with occasional bursts of color until finally, her feet were on the ground and Sirius was beside her.

"I had a feeling the memories would be convoluted like that," said Sirius, looking around them. "It took a while longer for the memories of two people to sort themselves out…" he trailed off when he realized where they were.

Looking around too, Suri realized she was on the Hogwarts Express, standing in front of an occupied compartment. She knew how pensieves worked-she was a silent consumer of the memories, unnoticed by the people she saw. She knew in some cases, she could be the person who the memories belonged to, or a secondary participant, but it seemed she and Sirius were third party witnesses, which she preferred. She didn't want to be Sirius or Tessa, she just wanted to see. Forgetting about her father, Suri paid attention to what unfolded before her.

A sullen boy with inky black hair glared up at a sun-kissed girl with summer freckles across her nose and long, chestnut brown hair spilling over her shoulders. Her deep blue eyes were bright with absolute disgust as she regarded him.

"I wouldn't want to be in a house with a toad like you!" young Tessa Rosier declared irritably at young Sirius Black.

"Is this the first time you guys met?" Suri's voice was soft. When Sirius responded, his tone was equally reverent.

"It was."

"Mum's right, you were a toad."

"That was before I knew her! I had seen Tess from afar before because our families were in the same social circles, but I wanted nothing to do with her, then. I thought she was like the rest of them."

The fog returned then shifted them to her parents' sorting. She could feel young Sirius's slight disappointment when the arrogant girl from the Express ended up in Slytherin instead of Gryffindor.

"That was the moment I knew I wanted to be around her. I didn't love her, but there was just something about her," Sirius supplied, and Suri felt her heart swell at that. She couldn't imagine being so loved by someone else.

The memories took them to Christmas party where Tessa first met Voldemort. Judging from the last memories, it looked as though this was a year later. She felt her mother's terror as Voldemort roughly jabbed his wand under her chin to force her to look at him. Suri felt the hair on the back of her neck rise, remembering her own feeling of vulnerability when Marcus Flint held her in place.

The memories moved again and it was Tessa and Sirius outside in the snow, sharing their first kiss and wanting to be together, whatever that meant at thirteen years old.

Then quidditch memories. Sirius cheering on Gryffindor, but feeling a surge of protectiveness over Tessa. Tessa going toe to toe with James Potter, caught somewhere between fierce competition, the joy of sport, and laughter at playing against a friend.

Suri smiled faintly. "That reminds me of when I played for Slytherin. Of course I always wanted to win, but I never wanted to see anyone on the Gryffindor team really hurt because they were my friends, too."

"I started calling Tess "Princess" pretty soon after these memories," said Sirius. "She was the youngest on her team and she was such a coddled, arrogant thing that the name was only fitting for a girl like her."

Tessa shared a vague memory of a night in her second year when Snape attempted to curse Sirius, but the curse rebounded and hit her instead, resulting in her being carried to the hospital wing. Tessa's memory showed her overhearing Evan Rosier threatening Sirius, which ultimately led to her breaking things off with Sirius for fear that Evan or someone else from Slytherin would go after him.

"Oh! That's Mum's cousin Evan! Wow, Nate looks so much like him, except Nate's got hazel eyes!" Suri said excitedly, catching a glimpse of Evan Rosier. She noticed her father's dark look. "Nate's my best friend. He's my James Potter."

Sirius nodded, though his expression was without humor. He was too lost in the memories to comment further as they watched young Sirius Black walk away with a broken heart. "Those scars on your mother's body never went away."

The memories swirled and swirled. Sirius and some of his favorite pranks with his friends, mostly involving Snape as a victim in some way, and somehow Tessa was always in the background, disapproving of his treatment. In Tessa's memories, even when she and Sirius briefly stopped talking, he was never far from her thoughts. In the time they were broken up, she began to focus on learning occlumency, and in the process, she had begun to numb her feelings. Sirius, somehow, always managed to bring her back-it was impossible notto feel around Sirius Black—but whether those feelings were of adoration of aggravation, there was never a pattern.

Then Tessa started to date, at the insistence of Narcissa Black, Edgar Nott.

"I wonder if he's related to Theo Nott, he's a Slytherin kid that's Harry age," Suri supplied as she looked at Edgar carefully. He was a handsome enough boy a year older than Tessa, but even Suri had to admit with some pride, Edgar was nothing compared to her father.

Sirius had shared a memory of a deep disdain for Edgar.

Then memories of Narcissa's and Lucius Malfoy's wedding and Sirius and Tessa drunkenly dancing.

"Thisis when I knew I loved her," Sirius's voice was barely above a whisper.

"I think Mum knew it too," said Suri. Anyone could see Edgar made Tessa smile, but Tessa shonewith Sirius in a way she didn't shine around anyone or anything else, not even quidditch.

Through the memories, Tessa broke up with Edgar, then was once again in the hospital due to quidditch. Sirius's memories broke through, showing him punching Edgar because he didn't keep the bludger away from Tessa. Then Sirius was in the hospital at Tessa's side. Even before then, through Tessa's memory, Suri knew her father and mother had kissed a couple times while she dated Edgar.

"That was the moment you never left her?"

"I wish it was, Suri-girl. Don't worry, we'll get there."

The light and happy memories supplied by her parents gradually grew darker. Tessa showed Suri's grandfather, Grant Rosier, being a Death Eater and Tessa being expected to uphold the same values. She shared the moment her wand was used to kill a werewolf and Tessa's subsequent trauma.

Suri's temper flared. Her mother had been incredibly brave and controlled in that situation. Suri didn't know what she would have done if she was in her mother's shoes. She would have liked to think she would have stopped Voldemort or died trying.

Then the memory of Tessa's sixteenth birthday, and Suri laughed out loud. "You all went to a mugglepub! I can't believe Mum convinced Lily Evans to go! Lily looked like such a rule-follower!"

"Oh she was, but all Tess had to do was smile and she would get her way with anyone." Sirius chuckled. That chuckle quickly died on his lips. "Oh, I didn't think Tess would show you this."

Suri's eyes widened when Tessa and Sirius left the pub and their friends behind, knowing what was coming. "How do we skip this part?!" Suri distanced herself from her father and covered her ears, wondering if it was possible to kick Sirius out of the pensieve.

Much to Suri's unhappiness and embarrassment, it wasn't the only intimate memory shared by her late mother. She frowned at Sirius who shuffled from foot to foot, almost as uncomfortable. "Didn't you two have anything better to do with your time?"

"Nope, not really. She was the best thing there was."

"Gross, Dad…"

The memories continued and Suri began to understand why Tessa shared such a wide range of random and intimate memories. Tessa Rosier knew she wouldn't be around to have these kinds of conversations with Suri. She must have tried to pull out memories to have the conversation for her. Sirius breath caught in her throat at the realization. Tessa wanted to make sure Suri saw stupid things like studying and friendship and vegetables. But more importantly, Tessa wanted to show respect, determination, affection, and consent.

Suri wondered what it would have been like to actually have these conversations with her mother. To talk to her about Marcus and her falling out with Mara. To fight about her figure and to ask advice or spill about her first kiss with Geoff Marker or giggle over Oliver Wood. Moments she would never get beyond this pensieve.

Tessa Rosier was sixteen and Sirius had left her after she told him she was pregnant.

"I was so scared," Sirius said, when the scene shifted to his perspective. "I was sixteen or seventeen years old and Tess comes to tell me that she's having mychild. Back then I never wanted children because I had no idea what a good family looked like. I would take back all of this wasted time if I could."

The memories glided into the night Tessa left Hogwarts and Sirius surprised her by being in her room. Suri felt tears in her eyes when Sirius unbuttoned Tessa's shirt and touched the swell of her abdomen.

"Thatwas the moment I decided I would never leave her," Sirius said. He gently reached out and touched Suri's head. "And you. I would never abandon my family."

Suri laughed and cried when Sirius bought a motorcycle and then surprised her mum with the house from Suri's childhood. She cried when she realized just how much she was loved even before she was born. Then the years that followed, between the Order of the Phoenix and the rising threat of Voldemort, her parents always managed to put on smiles for her.

Suri wiped her tears. "Honestly I think I would have grown up just as coddled if it were you and Mum raising me."

"Three times as much," Sirius corrected, winking. Suri rolled her eyes.

One of Tessa's last memories showed her concern over Sirius's growing paranoia toward Remus. When Suri turned to her father for an answer, Sirius frowned.

"Something wasn't right. NowI realize it was Peter—you can see how your mum never liked him. I just refused to believe that something so weak could be capable of something so awful. And Moony...I disliked him because some part of me believed he was in love with Tess and that he could take her from me."

"Mum loved you." From all these memories Suri knew, without a shadow of doubt, that Tessa Rosier and Sirius Black were carving paths toward each other without knowing. They had grown to love each other deeply, relentless, emotionally, and were truly the greatest love story of their time.

"I know," Sirius answered quietly. "I just couldn't believe someone like her could continue to love someone like me."

"I think you and Mum are more alike than you think."

The very last memory Tessa shared was of her writing a letter, and Sirius frowned.

"I don't know this one…"

Suri walked closer to Tessa and read over her shoulder. "My sweet Suri…" Suri's eyes widened. "It's a letter for me!"

Tessa seemed to deliberately write slowly, as if she knew someone would be reading the letter over her shoulder. Just when Suri believed she had no more tears, they found a way to her eyes when her mother began to read out loud as she wrote.

Sirius made a strangled sound beside Suri. "Princess." Sirius reached out to touch Tessa's shoulder, but the memory of her neither felt it, nor did Sirius's hand land on something solid. There was nothing but air.

Tessa's voice filled the silence, her Northern Irish lilt tugging at Suri's heart. Sirius had been right after all—Suri and Tessa did sound similar.

"My sweet Suri,

If you've made it this far through the pensieve, then chances are I'm not with you. It is my every prayer that your father is there. But I hope he's waiting for you outside the pensieve because there are some memories I've shared that might be uncomfortable if he's standing beside you. They were only meant for you, after all. They're to take the place of the conversations you and I will never share."

"I wish we saw this first," Suri chuckled around her tears; Sirius smiled. Even Tessa's memory laughed lightly as she continued.

"But chances are, Sirius is right beside you, because that is the kind of man your father is. He can be an absolute thorn and arrogant toad, but being loved by him is the greatest force in this world. If you're hearing this right now, the first and most important thing I need you to know is how much I love you, sweet Suri. Being your mum has been my greatest joy, even if you are a daddy's girl. In fact, as I write this, you and your daddy are decorating cookies for Halloween downstairs. Your father is probably letting you eat too much of the frosting, and you both think I don't know. But I knew, and I let it happen. Your father is right in thinking I need to ease up on making sure you don't eat too much sugar, but I only want what's best for you.

Anyway, there is so much I want to tell you, but I don't think I'll have enough time. The memories I shared should answer some questions many little girls have for their mothers. I've shown you how I met your father, and I showed you I have dated before him. I showed you disagreements among friends, and the story of how you were born. I'm sure I'm missing many things, but I do hope that your father, or Moons, or even your grandmother will be able to answer any other questions you might have if I cannot answer them myself.

Depending on how old you are when you see this, I hope you always try very hard in school, but also have fun. The best way to get ahead in any magical subject is to have fun with it and trust your instincts—your grades will follow suit. I know you'll do well because you've been demonstrating incredible skill with Legilimency and magic. Just yesterday you turned a teacup into a ball!

"Also, you don't need loads of friends, just one or two best friends who love you for you. Whatever house you end up in—I've a feeling it will be Gryffindor—just find the ones who show you how special you are and make you shine as I'm sure you'll do for them. My sweet girl, you have showed an incredible capacity to love others. Please, don't ever lose that. I hope as you grow older, you're the type of person that burns brilliantly in the darkness for those who can't do it themselves."

"Speaking of love, this is the hardest part, knowing that I might not be there for you for the day you fall in love—truly in love." Tessa paused from her writing and her hand went to her mouth as she swallowed back tears. Composing herself she continued writing.

"Whoever you choose to love, boys or girls, you will know in your heart that you've found your greatest love. Perhaps you'll date more than once before you find that person. Perhaps you'll be like your father and snog half of Hogwarts's female population before getting it right. These people will care for you, but your real love will challenge you and help you grow. They will make you feel like you want to be the best version of yourself, but they'll show you that you already are. Still, you'll try to better yourself, but it's only because you want to.

If you're anything like me, you'll likely feel as though you're not good enough, but your person will make you feel like you can do anything. This is how your father makes me feel every single day. We fight, as you've seen, and his love for me makes me want to be the best mother, woman, and witch that he sees me as. People say that girls find men like their fathers. I definitely didn't, but it is my hope that you'll find your Sirius Black—your absolute thorn, your greatest adventure, and your warmest home. I hope he gives you children, and that you'll be an amazing mother when the time is right. I wish I could be there to see all of this happen. I wouldn't be mad, though, if your great love ends up being the sensible type. We need more of those people in our lives.

"My sweet Suri, there aren't enough books in the world to hold all the things I want to tell you, but unfortunately, my time is almost up. I hope the world is a better place than when I left. There comes a time in every witch or wizard's life when they must choose between good and evil. I cannot tell you what to choose, because it has to be your decision. All I can do is share the truths I lived and hope you do the best thing. And if the world is not a better place, then my darling Suri Ariel Rosier-Black, be wise. Be resourceful and quick. Be brave and cunning and ignite the world around you. Above all, be loving, because love will be your greatest strength. All my love forever, your mum, Tessa Rosier."

Tessa stopped writing, and seconds later, a young Suri came up the stairs. There was orange frosting on her cheek as she hid something behind her back.

"Mummy, what are you doing?"

"Just writing a letter to a very special person," Tessa smiled sweetly. She eyed her daughter mischievously. "Has your father been letting you eat all the frosting again?"

"No, Mummy, no frosting," little Suri lied, but her wide grey-blue eyes wondered how her mother could tell.

With great deliberation, Tessa folded, sealed and kissed the letters. Then, with a smile, she stuck them under her writing desk, charming them into place. Turning, she opened her arms for little Suri to run into. Child Suri giggled when her mother pulled her onto her lap and kissed the frosting off her cheek.

"You're sure you didn't have too much frosting," laughed Tessa her eyes full of adoration for her only child. "You definitely do taste sweet, but that just might be you, sweet Suri."

"I had frosting!" Little Suri giggled her confession. She then held out a pumpkin-shaped cookie for her mum that looked too professionally decorated to be done by a four year old. "For you! Daddy says princesses get the best cookies."

"Does he now," Tessa laughed again and rose from her seat with Suri in her arms. "Well let's go find Daddy before he eats himself into a sugar coma!"

"Sugar coma!"

A silvery fog thickened the memory, and suddenly Sirius and Suri were back on the warm beach, in the shadow of the sea stack with the tide now covering their feet and slowly rising.

"I had no idea she added that memory," Sirius said, his eyes unseeing. "She must have added it after we put our memories together because we gave you that necklace shortly after your birthday."

Suri held the empty crystal vial in her hand, her mind spinning. "That letter still has to be there! I can't believe I missed it!" Suri remembered the ransacked state of the house after it was searched by Aurors looking for Sirius and hoped they didn't find it first.

Sirius looked as though he would collapse into himself as he shook his head. Suri did the only thing she could think of and pulled him into her arms. She did have words, she just thought that maybe her father needed reassurance as much as she did.

"She might have been the greatest witch that ever lived," Suri said on their walk back to the hut. She remembered every time someone compared her to her mother, and after the pensieve, she no longer felt like a shadow in her mother's image. Tessa Rosier had moments of fear, insecurity, anger and everything Suri ever felt. But she was also strong, brave, and compassionate. Suri would never hate being compared to her ever again. She wouldn't even hate being compared to Sirius when he in his prime-energetic, charismatic, and resilient.

Though Suri mostly spoke to herself, Sirius answered a beat later. "She really was, love, she really was."

Author's Note:

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