Disclaimer: I don't own FMA.
Once we had gotten out from underground, Envy sent me away to the women's showers to wash off all the dirt and grime on me and change. I felt weird, because Envy had disguised himself as another Amestrian officer.
Ed didn't speak a word to me, and didn't even look at me. It hurt slightly, but I ignored the pain as I walked past him and strode down the hallway, and into the women's showers.
And so, here I was, standing under a hot spray of water. It relaxed my shoulders, and for once in my life, I was able to look at myself without scars. Even before I came to Amestris, I had visible scars. But now it was like I was in a new, beautiful body.
I quickly scrubbed myself down with soap, rubbing some shampoo into my hair before going to rinse myself off. I stayed in there a short time, the shower making me feel relieved after that battle.
But that good feeling wouldn't last.
I got out of the shower and dried myself off, wrapping my hair in the towel as I started to dress.
Envy had given me a fitting white camisole, a nice velvety black sweater, a pair of black heels, a somewhat short black skirt, and somewhat revealing undergarments. Well, it's Envy. What did I expect? I just had to make sure not to bend over or kick anything, and I'd be fine.
I re-hid my blades, knives, kuni, guns, and other weapons in my new clothes, making sure to make them accessible, since I couldn't really fight in this skirt.
I got out of the room and met up with Envy, Al, and a freshly dressed Ed, in front of the Fuhrer's office.
"Wrath will take it from here." Envy said, opening the door. My breath caught in my throat when I saw Mustang sitting there with the Fuhrer. My eyes widened, but I tried to calm myself down. I'd have to look at this from a different angle.
Truth, I'm scared, I thought. Well, I can see why, Truth replied. No, not because they might find me out, I thought, I'm afraid the brothers and Mustang will hate me after this. Truth sighed. You're on your own for that one.
"Colonel!" Ed said in surprise, walking over to Mustang, "What happened?" I followed and took a seat to Mustang's left, watching them innocently.
"A lot has happened," Mustang sighed, "Sergeant Fuery was sent south, Warrant Officer Falman was sent north, and Lieutenant Breda was sent west. Hawkeye is now the Ling's personal assistant." Everyone stared at the Fuhrer in shock, suspicion, or in a grudging way. I just sat there uneasily, shifting my gaze uncomfortably.
"Take a seat." The Fuhrer said to the standing Elric brothers. They took seats to Mustangs right, but clearly looked paranoid, analyzing the situation and the Fuhrer.
Just then, I heard May cough from inside Al's armor. Al started fake coughing to cover it up as Ed looked a bit worried and startled.
"Fuhrer, sir." Ed said, "Earlier, when I was in the hospital, you came to visit me. You had us completely fooled."
"Don't go sticking your noses in. Treat the entire military as your enemy. That's what I ordered you to do." The Fuhrer looked up from his cup of tea. "You are valuable human resources to us. You need not know anything more than that. But, if you behave yourselves until the time comes, you will not be harmed."
"When the time comes, what happens to the other people, the ones who are not called "sacrifices"?" Ed asked suspiciously.
"I told you, you don't need to know anything more, Fullmetal Alchemist." The Fuhrer said in a calm, collected voice. I'd be lying if I said that voice didn't piss me off.
"Fullmetal Alchemist, huh?" Ed gave a bitter grin, "I might have chose the path to become a dog of the military, to get our original bodies back. But, the whole state alchemist program is probably to select "sacrifices" with." Ed gripped his bloodstained watch in his hand, "If you're going to be using me for something even worse..." Ed threw his watch on the table, and it slid over of the Fuhrer. "... Then I quit as a State Alchemist!" Ed declared fiercely. I bit my lip, looking down at the table.
"Your token as a dog is covered in blood." The Fuhrer said.
"I will upset your schemes, no matter what they are. I'll tell the other alchemists, and then..." He was interrupted by the Fuhrer.
"What was that girl's name again?" The Fuhrer thought for a moment, "Ah yes. Winry Rockbell." I winced as Ed and Al gasped.
"Born in Resembool. Your childhood friend," The Fuhrer continued, "and like family to you. A skilled automail engineer. She currently works in Rush Valley, where she is well-favored by both her customers and companions. A nice, unassuming girl." Ed slammed his fist, shaking the table.
"You keep away from her! And everyone else around her!" Ed yelled in anger. I winced again, for a number of mixed reasons and emotions that invaded my consciousness.
"Ok, so what will it be?" The Fuhrer asked, sliding Ed's watch across the table, back to him, "Take this or I will cut her down." Ed grudgingly took back the watch and shoved it in his pocket, glaring heatedly at the Fuhrer.
"Um, sir." Al said, "We're all in an understanding, so, in exchange for acting as always under your watch, please allow us to continue our journey to get our bodies back." Al's voice concealed a hint of desperation.
"It doesn't matter to me," The Fuhrer said, taking a sip of tea, "As long as you don't do anything uncalled for." The Fuhrer set his cup down as he glanced at Mustang, "What will you do, Colonel Mustang? You're not going to tell me you're quitting the military, are you?"
"I see. I may be a kept dog now, but I wouldn't want to become a beaten dog. Moreover, I still have my ambitions, so I won't be taking off my uniform, or giving up this." Mustang said, holding up his watch briefly.
"Very well. Lynette?" He asked, turning to me. I laughed bitterly.
"Since when did I have a choice?" I chuckled, but continued, "I have my obligations, and besides, my pay is supporting a family. I will keep my promises, so I'm not going to give up my position any time soon." I said firmly. Ed, Al, and Mustang looked at me in slight surprise.
"You are all dismissed." The Fuhrer said, and we all pushed out our chairs and stood up, starting to approach the door.
"May I ask you one question, your Excellency?" Mustang asked, pausing in his tracks. The rest of us stopped to listen.
"What is it, Mustang?." The Fuhrer asked.
"Are you the one that killed Hughes?" Mustang asked. Ed and Al gasped, while I bit my lip harder. Please don't tell, please don't tell, please don't tell...
"No, I'm not the one." The Fuhrer said to my relief.
"Then who did it?" Mustang asked.
"I agreed to one question." The Fuhrer said strictly, to an even greater relief of mine. Mustang sighed.
"If you'll excuse me." He said grudgingly, and everyone started moving toward the exit once again.
"Just a minute, Alphonse." The Fuhrer said, and I saw him get out of his seat. In a flash, his sword was drawn, and he lunged to stab through Al's side. Al and Ed gasped, and I silently prayed for May.
The Fuhrer narrowed his eyes suspiciously, keeping the sword in for a moment before pulling it out and thoroughly examining it, checking it for blood.
"Um, was there something...?" Al asked, his voice quivering slightly. The Fuhrer sheathed his sword.
"No. You are dismissed." The Fuhrer said, and we all walked out the door. Mustang closed the door behind us, and we said our goodbyes, heading different ways.
I followed the Elric brothers, because I knew they wanted to talk to me.
In a deserted hallway, Ed paused in front of me.
"Why?" His question stung. I flinched and stopped.
"I'm sorry. You didn't believe me before, did you?" My question was greeted by silence, so I continued. "I guess now you understand." Ed spun around to face me, staring into my eyes.
"How could you betray us like this?" His eyes bore holes through mine, and I took a deep breath.
"I-I..." I started, struggling to get a hold on my voice. But the clear betrayal in his eyes, in Al's eyes, the eyes they looked at me with, it was breaking my heart.
I wanted to explain it to them. I wanted to beg their forgiveness, to get on my knees and cry. I wanted to be with them, I wanted them to trust me. I wanted to tell them I'd do anything if they'd forgive me.
I wanted to apologize. This was breaking off pieces of my healed heart, cracking and shriveling it up again. But I think it was the next thing I did that ultimately smashed my heart into pieces.
"I chose this. Hate me. It'll be better that way." I said, my face cold and grim. Tears unconsciously pooled in my eyes, blurring my vision.
I turned away, attempting to blink away the tears, but more just built up, spilling over. My chest physically hurt, and I couldn't stand to look at the brothers.
And so, I ran, through the hallway, futilely trying to wipe my tears away.
I ended up in an alleyway on a vacant street, similar to the one I first appeared here in. I was curled up on the ground, crying silently.
"I wish I had never come back." I quietly hiccuped to myself, "I wished I had never come here in the first place. I wish I lived normally. I wish I had never gone in the military. I wish I had never met the Elric brothers. I wish none of this ever happened..." My chest throbbed again as I let out another silent sob. "My damn pride... My damn meddling... My damn personality... My damn urge to get involved in this stuff... My damn, foolish heart... I never learn..." I whispered to myself, "Heartbroken again... This time I don't think I'll heal..." I hiccuped, "I loved him... I... I guess all that's left is to protect him from the shadows... Watch him from afar..." I curled up more, hugging my knees to my chest. "I'm such an idiot..." I clenched my teeth as more tears poured, a never ending flow of stinging droplets. I let out another sob, burying my head in my knees. "But why, why does it hurt... so... damn... much?" I sighed shakily, attempting to calm myself down. I staggered to my feet, sniffling as I wiped more tears from my eyes as I stumbled to walk on, looking at my feet, hiding my face in my hair so no one could see. It had already become nighttime. I had been crying for a few hours. I felt numb, stiffly moving forward.
It didn't matter to me. Time didn't matter. I was slowly calming down, the chaos in my heart was freezing, along with the rest of the cracked, shriveled flesh. Breathe in, and out. A steady rhythm I was getting the hang of once again. I felt cold, not only on the outside, but like the fire in my heart died. My former determination broke.
I guess this is what they meant by three stages of heartbreak, I thought.
Pain.
Numb.
Cold.
All three were swirling around inside me, as I walked through the empty, dark street. Dark clouds swirled around the night sky overhead.
I felt little droplets fall down to land on my arms, as they got heavier and heavier until it started to pour down. And I just walked numbly through it, ignoring my soaked clothes, mechanically taking step by step forward, always moving forward.
I was alone, with no one but my broken heart to comfort me. And right now, my broken heart was silent, the howling wind and pouring rain hailing down on me, a lone figure stumbling through the empty street.
Walking.
Keep walking forward.
I'm going to try.
Hey guys! AWW POOR LYNETTE! I seriously cried a bit writing this. Kinda short chappie, but I needed to get his over with. So much more stuff going to happen.
But Lynette! The dear girl was rejected before she could confess! AWW! In this chapter, she seems much more human to me. Dramatic, but sad.
Much more stuff to come! Some sad stuff is coming soon, but action is on it's way back!
Sorry I haven't updated lately, I've been working on a new Fanfiction. For those of you interested in Kpop other than Gangnam style, please pm me! If you know Korean groups either EXO, Block B, Infinite, and a few others, pm me my fellow Kpop fans! Thanks!
CELEBRATING MY 50TH CHAPTER! WOOOHOOO! THE 50TH! OH MY GOD, I NEVER THOUGHT I'D REACH IT! HALFWAY TO A HUNDRED! SHOOTING FOR A HUNDRED NEXT! YAY, FINALLY 50 CHAPTERS!
Alright, questions, comments, concerns?
My lovely readers, please review~
Thanks!