A/N Warning: there is not much plot to this mostly adult content - and please heed the rating!
Nymphadora Tonks had a problem.
She'd always prided herself on her problem-solving abilities, her knack for puzzling out solutions to even the toughest cases she needed to crack at work, her resilience in the face of all that threatened to upend her. While her stealth and tracking abilities left a lot to be desired, there wasn't much out there that could (metaphorically) trip her up.
This time, though, she wasn't sure that her normally quick-thinking brain would find itself able - or even willing - to help her out of this one. Her brain was part of the problem, in fact, due to its inability to cooperate and pay attention to this evening's very important Order meeting. And it was solely due to the fact that she thought she might be obsessed with someone's fingers.
Remus Lupin's, to be exact.
She'd always had a thing for nice hands, sure. The first boy she'd had a crush on at Hogwarts had had fairly nice hands in and of themselves; slender, long fingers, a pianist's hands. But her crush fizzled out nearly as soon as it had begun when she noticed that he often came back from the Quidditch pitch with dirt underneath his nails, dirt that would linger for far too long even after he'd showered and rejoined their group in the common room. Her first girlfriend at Hogwarts had had perfect hands. Small and impossibly soft, with well-manicured, slightly rounded nails that were often painted some soft, shimmering shade of petal pink.
She wasn't sure when the first time she'd noticed Remus' hands was. It was likely soon after they'd first met; he'd been the one with the honor of helping her off the floor after her inaugural run-in with the troll's leg, and his hand had felt warm and slightly calloused in her grasp; your average man's hand. The first thing she'd really noticed about him was that he had a kind smile, and that he didn't laugh at her for tripping and making a fool of herself as soon as she entered the door. The second thing she'd noticed was that she supposed he was rather attractive in a quiet, unassuming sort of way, but that his face was drawn and rather ill.
No, she couldn't remember exactly when she had first studied his hands in further detail, but that wasn't the issue. The issue was how much space this rather unassuming part of his anatomy was taking up in her brain. She wasn't sure where the sudden sexual frustration was coming from, but the increasingly frequent fantasies about the man she thought of as a rather good friend at this point were starting to irk her. But not enough that she could find the will to deny herself the pleasure of indulging in them.
She shifted uncomfortably in her chair, trying to make it less obvious - especially to her cousin sitting across the table from her - that she was watching Remus. He had a tendency to lightly tap his fingers on the table when he talked, which he was doing now as he gave a report she knew she really should have been listening to, especially considering it was a report from a mission she'd been on as well. But it looked as if Remus had it all handled; he'd always been better at all the boring talking bits than her, anyway. And he'd caught her zoning out earlier on in the meeting, flashing her a quick smile when Moody had asked her if she had their report and stepping in with a quiet "I've drawn it up, Alastor, I don't mind presenting to the group." He really was a gem of a man.
And so she was free to watch his fingers. Long, careful, and always with clean, well-manicured nails. She found herself spiraling down the bizarre train of thought she often did whenever she watched him use his wand; it always started off innocently enough. She'd find herself wondering what it would be like to hold his hand. Soon, she thought about what it'd be like to kiss him; whether he'd be gentle to start off with (likely) or whether he'd crash his lips against hers, whether he'd use teeth (probably not, because of the whole werewolf thing - she wouldn't care about it, understandable). Whether he'd tangle his fingers in her hair, or whether he'd use his hands to grip her hips and pull her body against his. Either way, however she imagined him kissing her, this is when the heat between her legs would first ignite, a flicker of arousal low in her belly. And this is when she'd allow her mind to wander to more...improper questions.
Was he better with his fingers, or with his mouth? She found either possibility tempting. Either way, she bet he'd be gentle, almost frustratingly so; it wasn't usually her style, he wasn't usually her type, but for some reason the idea of his tender and hesitant ministrations just made her even more aroused.
She wondered if he jerked off. He had to; nearly everyone did, didn't they? He was so calm and composed that it was almost impossible to imagine him doing so; but then again, he must need a release every once in awhile if he were to keep his cool composure, wouldn't he? And now Tonks found herself realizing that it wasn't all that impossible to imagine him stroking himself off, after all; as soon as she wondered about it, the images popped unbidden into her mind. Did he think about her, the way she thought about him? She had a sneaking suspicion he might; she'd caught some wayward glances, oddly timed blushes; sometimes, when they were pressed together in close proximity while undercover on a mission, she could nearly feel the tension as they brushed up against each other. Neither of them had yet had the courage to make a move, but she thought she felt it. She'd been particularly intrigued by the way she'd caught him looking at her that one night she'd come back to Grimmauld to keep Sirius company after she'd been at the club with some friends; she'd been wearing a dress that night, rather short and tight, and though it was paired with tights and her usual combat boots she was almost one hundred percent certain that she'd caught Remus giving her a once-over before he'd quickly looked away, blushing as he offered to make her some tea. He was cute when he blushed.
She wondered what his cock looked like. Watching his fingers as he tapped the table lightly before fingering his wand which lay before him, she imagined those long fingers fumbling with his belt buckle, pulling down his trousers with uncharacteristic haste late at night, lying alone in his bed. Maybe he would be thinking about her; she hoped so. She felt her breath hitch slightly as she imagined him wrapping a hand around his cock, stroking himself to the thought of her, moaning - did he moan? He was probably quiet. Silent, even. He seemed the type who would be devastatingly embarrassed if anyone even mentioned masturbation around him; he would likely take any and all precautions to ensure that no one would ever hear or catch him having a wank. Maybe he jerked off in the shower, under the loud, hot spray of the water in the cramped bathroom upstairs.
Her breath caught in her throat momentarily as there was a lull in the conversation; looking up quickly from her very intense study of Remus' hands (you pervert, she admonished herself), she relaxed only for a moment when she realized that Mad-Eye was calling the meeting to an end. She froze again when she looked across the table to find Sirius watching her, an odd smile on his face.
"He'd say yes, you know," he murmured as the rest of the Order members started to bustle around them, shuffling papers and putting on cloaks. She noted with relief that Remus had stepped away towards the opposite end of the table to talk to Mad-Eye.
"What d'you mean?" she asked, too quickly. "Who'll say yes to what?"
His smile looked to be more of a smirk now. "You don't need to settle for fucking him with your eyes, Tonks, he'd be more than happy to partake in the real deal with you." His eyes flickered over to Remus now. "And that way, you two could take it to a private room and I wouldn't have to watch my baby cousin absolutely ogle my best mate when she's supposed to be paying -"
"Shut the fuck up," she hissed. "I don't - I don't know what you're talking about." But she knew she was too late to morph away the burning flush from her cheeks before Sirius saw, and her cousin gave her a victorious grin as Remus came back round to their side of the table.
"Staying over tonight, Tonks?" he asked pleasantly. "You're more than welcome to. I know the meeting went very late and you've had a long day." She swallowed, avoiding his gaze and choosing instead to glare at Sirius, who let out a poorly disguised snort of mirth as soon as she replied in the affirmative.
"Yeah, I - it's late, and with all the charms on my flat, I'm knackered, and I think it would be quicker if I could just..."
"Your regular room is ready upstairs," Remus replied over his shoulder as he brought that evening's dinner dishes over to the sink. "Room next to mine, like usual. I put fresh sheets on yesterday."
"Oh, thanks, Remus. You didn't have to do that."
"It was no problem," he replied, back still turned to her as he set about washing the dishes. "I was doing up my own bed, so I figured I might as well."
She briefly squeezed her eyes shut at the mention of his bed, images of her earlier fantasies flashing back into her mind as she squeaked out another thank you. What the hell was wrong with her? She hadn't found herself unable to get through a simple conversation due to pure horniness since she was a hormonal teenager. She decided that she just needed a wank of her own quick before she went to sleep, and then she could work on putting all inappropriate thoughts of her friend and colleague out of her head. She quickly excused herself for the night, leaving Remus at the sink with his shirtsleeves rolled up to the elbows - don't look, don't look - and Sirius wearing that infuriating, shit-eating grin of his.
As she lay in bed upstairs, she decided to just get it over and done with. She just needed a quick wank of her own, let all the fantasies play out completely, then she could go to sleep and work on putting all inappropriate thoughts of her friend and colleague out of her head starting first thing the next day.
But that was for tomorrow. For now, she allowed herself to return to her earlier thoughts as she slowly slid her hand underneath the waistband of her sleep shorts, past the elastic of her knickers. She closed her eyes, picturing Remus' hands again, imagining that it was his fingers slipping between her legs rather than her own. Her breath hitched as she began to touch herself. She imagined his fingers inside her - yes, now she knew what she wanted. His fingers sliding in and out of her, his tongue on her clit -
She let out a loud moan before she could stop herself, then sat bolt upright and scrabbled for her wand to cast a silencing charm before she continued. It had been awhile since she'd had such specific fantasies about a specific person, and she was surprised at how wet she already was; this likely wouldn't take long.
She dropped her wand back on the bedside table and hastily thrust her hand back down between her legs to continue rubbing herself, using her other hand to push aside her flimsy camisole so she could massage her breast, rolling and pinching the nipple between her fingers as her right hand picked up speed between her thighs. Her head fell back against the pillows as she allowed herself to moan again, imagining his head between her thighs, her tugging on his greying hair as his mouth worked her over.
Now she was imagining what it'd be like to have him fuck her; his fingers wouldn't be enough. She thought about having his cock inside her, his lean body on top of hers, pressing her down into the mattress; her legs wrapped tightly around his waist, fingernails digging into his back as he thrust into her, hard enough to knock the headboard into the wall. The thought of him taking her slowly and gently was often appealing, as well, but she was so keyed up right now that all she could think about was him really fucking her.
Her breathing started to hitch in her throat, the wet heat between her legs intensifying as the movements of her fingers became more frantic. She wondered what his face looks like when he comes, what he'd sound like as he released himself inside of her, and at this thought she suddenly felt her own release wash over her body with a small shudder and a soft moan as waves of pleasure washed through her.
Laying in her bed, sheets twisted around her legs as her breathing slowed, she suddenly felt dirty. She'd never been shy about masturbation, but she suddenly felt she'd been caught doing something embarrassing. Poor Remus would probably be horrified if he knew the things she'd been thinking about him all evening - the things she'd been thinking about him the past few weeks, really.
She decided to shower; perhaps the hot water would make her feel better. As she reached for her towel and padded out into the hallway, she was already starting to feel a little more normal again. Maybe the residual hot shame she still felt would be enough to drive all of these very much inappropriate thoughts of her mission partner out of her head.
She jumped, nearly stumbling over her own feet as the bathroom door suddenly opened, letting just a bit of light into the dark, dank hallway. It was late; she hadn't expected anyone else to still be up, and she'd been so lost in her thoughts that she hadn't even heard the shower running, and so she was nearly as surprised as he when she found herself staring down a very startled-looking Remus, who was wearing nothing but a rather ragged towel around his waist.
"Tonks?" His hair was plastered to his forehead; Tonks willed herself to tear her eyes away from his face, as she could tell even from the pale bathroom light that he was blushing furiously. "Erm - I'm so sorry, I was just -"
"No, don't - don't apologize, I was just - sorry, I couldn't sleep and I just fancied a shower, so I thought...I didn't think anyone else would still be up."
"My - hot showers help when my back is sore, sometimes," he replied awkwardly, giving her a small smile. "I couldn't sleep, either."
"Oh, right. Because of the - because of the - right," she finished lamely. Now she really managed to tear her eyes away from him; with the mention of the moon, she didn't want him to think that she was ogling him for the wrong reasons, as his shoulders seemed to be hunched up now in a rather self-conscious way.
"Anyway, I'll get out of your way -"
"I'm - I hope your back feels better. And I hope you can get some sleep, you deserve it." She winced as soon as the words left her mouth. Why couldn't she ever think of anything normal to say around him anymore? But she saw him smile slightly, shoulders relaxing as he crossed the hallway to the doorway of his room.
"Thanks, Tonks. Enjoy your shower, and sleep well." And with that, he quickly disappeared into his room, leaving Tonks to enter the bathroom and lean heavily against the door once she shut it, breathing in the steam and the crisp, clean smell of his soap.
As soon as she closed her eyes, trying to stifle the embarrassment of the encounter from her brain, she realized that the image of him wearing nothing but a towel was now emblazoned across the inside of her eyelids. What was it she had been thinking about banishing all of those weird, hormonal-driven thoughts from her brain?
Merlin, I'm fucked.
A/N This was my first time writing real smut (mostly smut, no plot here lol), so constructive feedback and comments are welcome! This may have 2 more chapters but I'm not sure yet. Hope everyone is doing safe and well!