A/N: Hello, everyone! I hope you are all having a good week so far, even though it just started.

I was doing a lot of back and forth of where I wanted to end the chapter, so instead of drawing this out in one, I decided to do this in two parts. It would have been a long chapter if I did.

I'm currently working on part two, chapter 22, which I'm nearly finished, and my Christmas Chapter. So, hopefully, I will have them done before Christmas.

Anyway, enjoy the read!

You're pregnant…

Oh, such beautiful words to hear.

Typically, when a woman hears those two life-changing words, they experience a mixture of emotions. Or maybe one out of the many. They often feel excited and overjoyed, you know, the most common reaction. Some girls, who are weren't expecting to become mothers, are shocked and confused. For some, who abhor the existence of children feel resentment and denial. Those were probably the two Jordan felt when she was pregnant. Others might even have a prolonged reaction. Some may grow numb if it's possible to not feel anything.

For Ruth, it's guilt and fear. She understands what this will mean for her now. Her world is going to drastically change on a dime. Ruth knows for damn sure it will not be a good outcome either. Why? She already knows and for quite a while, too. How to go about in telling Pennywise frightens her. Ruth wonders how he could have known and for how long.

Ruth stares ahead, refusing to look him in the eye. She felt an unbearable pang in her heart when he called for her. Robert sounds saddened and genuinely concerned.

"Viv?"

She presses her lips, tears starting to brim her eyes. With a heavy breath, Ruth opens her mouth.

"I kind of figured I was," Ruth struggled to reply.

The air around her shifted and drastically. Robert's aura flared with an intensity that suffocated her. Ruth's shoulders visibly sagged and trembled. Ruth can feel his eyes glare hardly on her back, where she hunkered in one herself.

"You… knew?" He growled lowly, inching forwards.

Ruth gulped with a struggle, her lips quivering.

"I didn't want," she stopped, struggling to find the words. Ruth shakily breathes to gather her courage. "I had a sickening feeling I was. I've just been in denial and still am."

Robert glared, his jaw squared, and lips taut. "How long?"

"How long have I known? Or how far along am I?"

"Both," he responded tightly, his voice rising.

Ruth gulps, "Ten weeks. I'm three months pregnant."

His stomach dropped, and his eyes went wild. Robert didn't have to guess, especially when the timeline coincided when Ruth was raped.

"No," Robert growled in disbelief.

Ruth strangled a sob, tears falling from her eyes now. "Unfortunately, yes."

Robert turned away and stepped back one while running a hand through his hair, exhaling sharply.

"Fucking swine," he mumbled under his breath with distaste.

Pennywise usually never curses, but when he does, it usually means he's livid.

"Just so you know," Ruth pauses, considering something. "I tried."

She gulps, her eyes searching the ground. Ruth caught sight of a sharp object just several feet away from her. She hesitantly started forwards.

Robert noticed her movements once he glanced back at Ruth, along with the sharp piece of glass.

"Tried to what?"

He moves, preparing himself.

"To kill it," she breathes then lunges forward just as Robert did.

It all happened in a flash. Ruth snatched the piece of glass before Robert could. They both fell to the floor of the train car with a grunt, fighting for the weapon. Ruth tries to drive the shard into her stomach, but her attempt is blocked. Robert gripped her small wrist, struggling to keep Ruth from cutting herself open.

"Ruth, stop," he ordered with strain.

She grunts and groans, fighting with every fiber of her being.

"Get it out of me!" She cries in a whimpering sob.

Robert is caught off guard by Ruth's strength. He knew Ruth is a strong, petite girl, but holy Shinola, Ruth, is resilient. Robert struggled to swipe the shard out of Ruth's bloodied clutch. Even when he kept Ruth from using her legs to get out from under him, she refuses to give up. They wrestled on the dirty floor, both trying to get the upper hand.

"Stop," he growled through clenched teeth.

Ruth whimpers, resisting. She wiggles within his arm, which held her around the chest.

"Kill me, please," Ruth sobs. "I don't want the monster inside me!"

Her request startled Robert. It's been quite a while since Ruth asked him to kill her. He felt a familiar pang in his heart from the anguish driven plea. Fueled by painful memories, Robert steadily yanks her hand back with a groan. He is quick to knock the shard out of her grip, hearing it clatter just feet away from them. He ends up shoving Ruth onto her back, who rightfully grunts from impact, ultimately pinning her.

Robert pants as he watched Ruth from above. He eyed her heaving chest and stomach, which is left partially exposed during the struggle. His eyes darkened some from the little bit of skin, including the curve of her small baby bump. He masks his groan with a stuttering breath as she cowers and silently wept. Ruth's are eyes screwed shut as Robert held her wrists down by her head.

Robert slowly realized he is in a position that came across a little suggestive. Well, maybe a lot. With Ruth beneath him, she has her legs driven apart and bent at the knees with Robert in between. He is hovering and angled in a way where Ruth could move but would touch him if she were to throw Robert off. This is inappropriate, at the same time, though, quite arousing.

Um uh… hello?

When he didn't do anything to back away, Ruth opened her eyes. She captured his stunned gaze, which Ruth is a little shocked herself. They stared at one another for a long moment in a thick and unbelievably awkward silence. Ruth recognized the position they're in as well, and honestly, she is very much bothered by it. She realized then their closeness sparked an unwanted yet strong attraction, which ultimately freaked Ruth out to the point of flushing.

Oh, um uh, holy Shinola!

"Get off me!" Ruth squeaks while squirming.

Robert reacted with a sharp recoil and sat a foot away with his back to Ruth. She, on the other hand, crawled towards one of the booths and hid there to conceal her reaction. With her back towards him, she lightly gaped and mouthed, "Oh… my… god." Her eyes widened from a strange warmth encircling her lower abdomen, which freaked Ruth out even more. She is certain Robert felt the same thing, but Ruth refuses to question him about it. Ruth decides to go quiet.

Unbeknownst to her, Robert silently slapped at his temple and mumbling.

"Stupid, stupid, stupid," he grumbled harshly at himself.

Robert then slowly calms himself with a couple of stuttering breaths. Once he composed himself after a short moment, Robert decides to break this tension between them.

"Why didn't you tell me?" He questioned softly.

Ruth sat there for a moment and stared into the wall. She knows what will happen once Robert finds out. He will react accordingly, and Ruth is fully prepared for Robert's outburst.

"Why would it matter?"

Robert furiously snapped his gaze on her. "Why? It matters as I can help you, Ruth! Fuck! How long have you known?"

"Since I had missed a cycle two months ago."

His eyes flickered angrily. "Two months? You've known that long and didn't even bother to tell me?"

It was Ruth's turn to snap a furious gaze on his. "Again, why is it any of your business?"

"I'm watching out and protecting you, Ruth! You're my responsibility! That makes it my business as I have every right to know! Just why in the fuck would you hide this from me?"

"Because I didn't want you to know my fucking swine of an uncle impregnated me, damnit!"

This struck a chord in which Robert visibly flinched.

Ruth breathed raggedly, fighting tears back. "Just how in the hell did you find out anyway?"

Robert scuffs, "I noticed these last few months you haven't had your monthly blood."

She stared for a moment, disturbed at his observation. "Wait, you keep track?"

"I'm not stupid, Ruth. Just because I'm a creature doesn't mean I don't comprehend the female reproduction system or what menstruation is."

Ruth uncomfortably stared now. "Do you not know how creepy that sounds?"

"I know it does! That's beside the point. I had an inkling you were pregnant, which confirmed my suspicions last night. I was just under the impression you weren't aware."

"I was aware! So, you're telling me you knew something was wrong and didn't say anything?"

"Why would I? It's not my responsibility!" Robert growls in frustration.

Ruth bolts up from her spot seething.

"I shouldn't feel obligated to tell you anything personal, Pennywise! If you had killed me when I first asked you, I wouldn't be in this position!"

Robert bristles. He, too, snapped to his feet and towered over Ruth. She made the mistake of stepping back.

"Don't you dare place the blame on me, little girl. I did you a favor in slaughtering that fucking swine."

"And I get rewarded with his monster offspring, which I tried to kill several times without success."

"So, you go and commit the act in front of me? The stunt you just pulled moments ago would have killed you, Ruth."

His voice was softer, but there is a heaviness behind it, too. It is a painful sadness that had gone unnoticed by Ruth's ears.

Ruth deeply frowns, her tears threatening to fall. "Then why couldn't you kill me, Pennywise?"

There it is again, the unwanted pang in his chest. His features slack with a frown even glances away. Pennywise hates that question with a passion, yet he still can't answer Ruth. Why can't he kill this tenacious, irritating child?

When he failed to answer for the umpteenth time, Ruth scowls and scuffs.

"No matter how many times I ask, you're still going to remain silent, aren't you?"

He answers with a saddened frown, crestfallen.

Ruth glared, waiting but never got an answer out of him. Her lips quivered downwards in a deeper, hurtful scowl.

"Fine," she responds tightly. "Some friend you are."

She rushed forwards and breezed past a stationary, yet dumfounded Robert, who stared ahead with a quivering grimace. Ruth misses his heavy sigh and faint sob.

"You have a lot of room to talk," he growled.

Ruth halts and glared over her shoulder at him. "Excuse me?"

Robert approached her and glared down at the small spitfire of a child. "For someone who has never had a friend before in their miserable life, I would have hoped you learned from the mistakes of others. If you sincerely considered me a friend, then you should have told me you were pregnant, Ruth."

"Why are you so fucking hung up on me not telling you? Besides, you never had a friend before either. If you had remotely thought of me as a friend, then why didn't you tell me?"

"Because it's not my place," he spat. "If I was a female, which I'm glad considering how fucking moody you human girls can be, I would have informed my male counterpart thusly of the infant growing in my belly. Hell, you hiding your pregnancy from me shows you are no better than the fame-hungry whore of which was your mother."

Ruth's gaze hardened and took short ragged breaths. She wanted to make a comeback but couldn't think of anything. Instead, Ruth says something she couldn't hold back.

"You are an emotionless monster, Deadlights."

Ruth knew she struck a nerve when his features harden, jaw squares, and holds his breath. She grimaces deeply then turns sharply on her heel, struggling to keep herself from crying in front of him now.

Robert watched Ruth leave while glaring at her back. He can feel his heart drop to his stomach and throat clench tightly from Ruth's hurtful comment echoing in his brain.

Emotionless monster…

Once Robert knew Ruth was out of the train car, he viciously punches at a nearby bench with a cry. He wished, though, it would knock off its hinges and crash to the opposite end. It would have made him feel a little better, knowing he caused damage to something other than Ruth wounding his evil heart. However, there is nothing worse than hearing Ruth cry. Her wails seemed to fuel his rage even more. With another vicious punch accompanied with a kick, the bench remained grounded. Robert yells and punches a third time, the same result. Instead of going for another swing, he collapses onto the seat. Robert shuddered a heavy sigh and ran his hands through his hair, which hung in his line of vision.

He sat there with his head in his hands and leaning forward. Robert raggedy breaths, struggling to keep himself from breaking down his walls.

"I'm not emotionless," he mumbles.

The early morning light spilled in the second-floor bedroom, revealing a light haze of dust. The darkened walls seemed to glow and lightly creak. The floorboards groaned with them as Ruth silently stepped to her vanity table. Even the chair made a sound as she sat down. Her nimble fingers pull at the vintage handle and expose the drawer full of makeup. With a heavy sigh, Ruth shakes her hair while frowning. She leans and flips a switch, turning the bulbs on to see herself. Ruth grimaces lightly from the sight of her swollen eyes and tousled locks.

God, I look like shit, Ruth thought to herself.

She grabs at a comb and just rakes it through, not even caring if the knots hurt. After five minutes taming the wild mess, Ruth pulls it all back tightly to her head and secures it under a hairnet. To her right, on a bust, is a cool brown wavy wig with fringed bangs and is short in length. She doesn't reach for it, though. Instead, she reaches inside the drawer and snatches a tube of concealer to camouflage her darkening freckles. Ruth spent a short time to hide her trademark. After that, she reached for a small rectangular box. With a flip of the cover, she reveals a pair of contact lenses. Ruth leans closer to the mirror and sets them to conceal her beautiful hazel eyes for topaz blues. She leans away, checking her work so far.

With a quick nod, Ruth continued to apply makeup onto her nose, under and around the eyes, cheeks, lashes, and lips. After another five minutes, she goes for the wig. It didn't take Ruth long to lay the synthetic hair to her head and secured it down with tape. She combs her fingers through to tame any flyaways and lightly tussled it. Ruth momentarily looks at herself, flinching a little.

Ruth can't recognize herself in this very natural disguise. Her eyes show no emotion and are uncomfortably numb of feeling.

Ruth cried most of the evening and night yesterday after her argument with Pennywise. She's still very much angry at him for what was said, but Ruth hates herself for hurting him. Ruth rids herself from thinking about it with a huff. She stood sharply from the chair and snatched her chocolate brown leather jacket. Ruth doesn't want to hang around here today. A day walking around town will give Ruth the space she needs to think. She gave herself a once over and nods in approval.

She turns away from her vanity mirror to leave the room. Except, Ruth stopped abruptly when Robert stood in her view. He has this deer caught in the headlight look and is gaping. Ruth doesn't see the appreciative glimmer in his eyes or Robert closing his mouth and gulps. All she saw is his tall, lithe frame dominating the doorway. Now Ruth is beginning to stare without meaning to because she's starting to notice things. The dark blue chambray style shirt suited Robert exceptionally well as it emphasized his slightly muscular chest. Even the slate-gray blazer enhanced his more manly human form. The dark jeans seemed to elongate his suddenly toned thighs and legs. She then felt extremely bothered as Ruth remained to eyeball Pennywise's human form.

Ruth can tell he continued to stare as well, and it's not the same stare Robert used to have. Before his staring was just that. Now, it feels as if he's admiring her. If Ruth is honest, Robert, aka Pennywise, is stirring up something deep within her core. It is freaking Ruth out, too.

Ruth didn't realize it, but there is a tense silence between the two of them. Robert's admiring stare only intensified this meet.

"Um, you look," Robert starts, breaking the silence.

"Save it," she interrupts harshly.

Ruth avoids looking him in the eye as she didn't want to see what laid behind those beautiful blues. Or maybe she didn't want to reveal how he's affecting her now.

Robert doesn't say anything in return. He just stared at her, gulps, and wets his lips. The outfit Ruth chose to wear caught him off guard. Ruth wore a V-neck sweater in a flattering shade of cotton candy pink, along with blue jeans that hugged her hips and thighs tightly. He flicked his gaze elsewhere, which Robert then noticed her peek-a-boo cleavage. Robert felt his mouth go dry again, which stumped him further in a stupor. When he finally found his voice, Ruth started moving past him and accidentally brushed his arm.

"Oh, uh, wait, where are you going?"

"Out," Ruth quickly replies, rushing to the steps. The feeling from yesterday returning with a vengeance. "And don't even think about following me, either," she adds.

Ruth heard him heavily sigh then started moving away from her bedroom. She had a feeling he wasn't going to let her be. They do need to talk things out and exchange apologies. They're both in the wrong. Mind you, Ruth would like to discuss, but the sensation she has is driving her crazy. She can't explain or understand it. That awkward moment between them ignited something, and it is causing her to develop deeper feelings for Pennywise when she shouldn't. Ruth believes avoiding him to make sense of any it might help. Although it could draw them further apart.

"Viv," Robert calls to her in a whisper.

Ruth stopped when he called her by that name. She noticed several times Robert, well Pennywise, referring to Ruth by her legal name, only shortened. She's beginning to like the nickname. Ruth always wanted to be called by such. There's even a warmth that filled her heart. With it is that burning sensation in her lower abdomen.

Ruth shakes her head to rid herself of the feeling. She then thought of the comment he made as it will keep Robert from following her.

"Just so you know, I am nothing like the whore."

Robert stops in his tracks at that point.

Satisfied he wasn't following, Ruth quickly leaves with the door snapping behind her.

"I know you're not," Robert sighs.

He leans against the wall then glances in her bedroom. Robert scans the room, searching for something from where he stood. He noticed the room could use some color. An idea popped in his head then which Robert can only hope Ruth would appreciate the gesture. He, too, decides to go into town, but Robert must be careful not to be seen, though.

The autumn air is crisp and brisk today. The Reese's pieces colored leaves blew in the wind, swirling around Ruth's feet. Her heavy boots crunched on the pavement and lightly kicked at a pebble. Walking around helped clear her head, even the little shopping spree Ruth had. The money she inherited came into great use as Ruth needed new clothes, especially when winter is around the corner. Of course, she is careful about what she spends. Ruth can't buy the finest of quality and overly priced. She would stand out, and people would get suspicious. Ruth must blend in and silently observe.

Currently, Ruth is strolling down the sidewalk with the colorful shopping bag handles around her wrists and hands tucked inside the jacket pockets. She's gently humming right now as the light shopping helped her mood a little. The argument from yesterday still festered in her mind. Ruth knows she and Robert need to talk, but deep down doesn't want to discuss. His comment of her being no better than Jordan stung. Ruth is far from anything like her mother. She didn't make a calumny of her pregnancy or fabricated a false belief. Ruth just couldn't bring herself to tell him. She was angry and in complete denial at the time. These feelings of attraction towards him is making things even more complicated.

Ruth, for the most part, is oblivious to her surroundings. She wandered for a while and listening to the sounds of the city. There aren't a lot of people out on the streets for a Thursday morning, which Ruth is grateful for. Kids should be in school anyway, so Ruth doesn't have to worry about running into anyone. Unless they played hooky, that is.

Her peaceful silence is disturbed when Ruth heard a girly giggle. She glances up to see an alarmingly pretty girl with perfect champagne curly hair and flawless creamy skin. Ruth recognized her as Irene Rosenberg, the spoiled rotten only child. Ruth never liked her, and Irene didn't favor Ruth either. They had a couple of tiffs, which only Ruth got in trouble while Miss Perfect walked away scot-free.

Ruth then noticed someone else with her. She felt something inside her chest shatter and grew numb. Ruth's breath labored as tears brimmed her eyes while fighting a grimace. Irene has an arm around their back and is holding hands. She has a joyful grin as Irene stares up at Ruth's crush, Stanley Uris. He, too, is eyeing Irene with an equally bright smile. They look freaking adorable together and happy. It actually made Ruth sick to her stomach from how lovey dovely they're being. The sight of their happiness only made Ruth's shattered heart ache even more.

She had hoped Mike was lying about Stan having a girlfriend, but it's true. Stanley Uris has a girlfriend who is indeed a lot prettier than Ruth and Jewish. What's worse, it had to be her worse enemy. He knows what Irene has done to her and how she got Ruth in trouble. So, why is Stan going steady with her?

Oh, right, Stanley didn't want to wait on Ruth anymore. This made Ruth realize Stan and Irene being happy like this is her fault. If Ruth hadn't taken so long to figure things out, it would be her with him right now. Except, she had to sort out her emotions first and take care of her father's business. Hanging around with Pennywise is one of the other reasons, but Ruth won't blame him for it. It's all on her.

Ruth then remembers the dream she had yesterday morning.

May I?

She could have sworn it was Stan asking to kiss her. He did it before. Ruth was convinced he was the one for her. Stan gave her the butterflies and always managed to make Ruth blush. Ruth liked Stan a lot. She thought of coming out of hiding yesterday because of him. So, why?

I'm a fool…

Tears finally fell from Ruth's eyes, letting this thought infect her mind like a disease. She grimaces deeply then turned on her heels to run, and that's what she did.

Ruth ran back to the one place which gave her comfort.

…and unlovable.

About twenty minutes later and running nonstop, Ruth barges in the house with a loud bang. Her sudden appearance startled Robert, who rested on the foyer bench by the stairwell. His long, lithe body tumbles to the floor with a thud and grunt. The sight was comical, but Ruth has no desire to laugh. She drops her purchases at the door, covers her face then rushes up the stairs.

"Ruth," Robert called to her.

She doesn't respond.

"Come on, Ruth! What's wrong?" He questioned out of concern.

"Leave me alone!" She snaps.

Stunned at the intensity in her voice, Robert decided not to follow. He watched her ascend the steps in confusion with mouth gaping.

"What the hell?"

He hears her sniffle, along with a strangled sob.

"Stanley Uris is a liar and a traitor!" Ruth wails from atop the stairs.

Robert then heard her bedroom door slam. The cries that left her lips echoed in the dark house.

It took a moment, but Robert figured out what caused Ruth to be so distraught. Ruth saw Stanley with the other girl, and it angered her to the point of crying. He growls with a purse of his lips, deciding what needs to be done.

He went out later that evening and scared the shit out of Stanley, along with the girlfriend. However, letting the girl live wasn't an option in Pennywise's eyes.

Break Ruth's heart, you answer to Pennywise.