A/N: Hello, everyone! I hope you all had a wonderful week and are having a good weekend so far.
This will be one of three final chapters, possibly four if I split one into two parts. So, warning they might be a little longer than usual. Anyway, I'm bringing up scenes from a flashback back in Ch. 19 (22, according to FanFicition) but also mentions a few things from another. You'll know which ones soon. But it's also picking up from the last chapter. So, there will be some back and forth.
Update: I made a few little adjustments and omitted a scene.
FYI: I know a lot of the events during this period are weird and a little out there, but hey, it's an area worth exploring, but it is also for a reason.
It will take me a bit to post another update, so be patient, please. :)
Thank you to all who have remained to favorite and follow the story, even the reviews. I appreciate it immensely, guys. :)
Anyway, I hope you all enjoy the read!
It was after the incident with Henry several months ago where Pennywise had sat in front of Ruth, comforting her with his gloved fingers wiping her thick tears away. He observed her as Ruth cowered slightly from his touch. Pennywise can tell the punk, Henry, caused a trigger from when Jonathan abused Ruth. Her arm has a single red welt from a belt buckle and has large bruises at her shins and calves. Pennywise touches them, just barely, which Ruth winces and seethes from contact, the markings still stung and raw.
"Stay away," Ruth had demanded in a whisper, cowering and trembling.
Pennywise frowns deeply, and almost non-existent brows drooped.
"Ruth, look at me," he urged while gently nudging her chin and cupping her face.
She sobs but listens with hesitation. Her vision is blurred, but Ruth saw the deeply concerned expression Pennywise has. His fingers gingerly pressed at her cheeks and brushed at the stray hairs from Ruth's eyes. It does seem to calm her.
"I will never intentionally lay harm onto you, Ruth," Pennywise had replied softly.
Ruth shudders and gulps, lightly whimpering. "You wouldn't?" She questioned in a whisper and wept.
"I promise, Ruth," he vowed earnestly. "I will never hurt you."
She sniffles, then crawled into his lap and tightly hugged his chest. Despite her nakedness, Pennywise is quick to return the gesture, encasing Ruth protectively in his arms. She cried a little, but it's better than the wails Pennywise heard a moment ago. He lightly shushed her and entangled his fingers in her hair.
"It's okay. You're safe now."
"RUTH!"
That is the last thing Ruth hears before she slams the basement door behind her with a snap. Tears are streaming down her cheeks as she bounds towards the staircase. Ruth strangles a sob, stumbling while recalling the incident before her escape. Her throat is still sore from Pennywise's fingers encircling her neck, even his weight and warmth lingered. His gaping maw left an imprint in her mind, and it frightens Ruth still. She has seen the deadlights before, and he, for some reason, spared her. Why, though? Why would he keep her alive to only break his promise later?
"I will never hurt you," he had promised.
Ruth barges into the upstairs bedroom and snatches the first thing she saw. Tears streamed from her eyes as she pulled her hand back and tried to hurl the object at the wall but couldn't. Ruth sobs loudly, clutching onto the perfume bottle Pennywise gave her as a birthday gift. It's the warm vanilla and rose scent Ruth feel in love with the moment she tried it on that night. What girl wouldn't want a perfume that reminds someone of them?
"Alright, how did you get a hold of ladies perfume?" She had questioned with a smirk.
Ruth eyes the little bottle, reading the label.
Pennywise lightly groans, "It's not important? Go on, try it."
She did. Ruth spritzed the pale pink liquid on her wrist, faintly smelling vanilla, which gave it warmth and delicate rose for lightness.
"I love it. It's not overwhelming and not too light, it's perfect. Thank you, Pen." Ruth grinned happily at him.
She doesn't know what provoked her to do this, but Ruth leans against his shoulder and pecks a kiss on his left cheek.
If Pennywise could visually blush, he would. Instead, he stared in bewilderment, faintly smirking.
Ruth barely smiles from memory. She has been wearing it ever since, just like the little pinky ring on her left hand. Not only did he get her the perfume but also a dainty yet intricate gold band. It's a symbol of their relationship. They became good friends on the night of her birthday. What better way is there to show her connection with him without anyone really noticing? Their friendship is under the radar, and she wanted to keep it that way, too.
Except, if Ruth hadn't made the mistake of leaving the photo of Pennywise building a snowman out for Victor to see, maybe then he wouldn't have questioned her. Of course, she did have Pennywise's attention on her, which resulted in him not altering the photo. It's her fault she distracted him. Except, how would they have known he and the other two were coming? Both Ruth and Pennywise tend to get lost in each other's worlds and forget where they are. Well, her mostly.
If they hadn't resolved themselves into scaring Victor from revealing who Pennywise is to Henry and Belch, maybe this… betrayal wouldn't hurt so much.
Why?
Moments ago…
"Pen, please stop! It's me!"
Her voice doesn't reach his ears, Pennywise can barely hear her anyway.
She screams and thrashes when her eyes caught a glimpse of the three pulsing orange lights. Ruth quickly looks away, trembling.
"STOP!"
Behind her eyelids, his maw extends to his chest. Pennywise is about to swallow her whole.
Ruth whimpers, terrified. Her chances are slim, but Ruth couldn't let it stop her. It is either escape or let death welcome her. Ruth isn't ready to die yet, maybe not ever. Driven by a surge of adrenaline, Ruth fights him off with a right hook to his face and uppercuts his open maw. She hears him grunt from impact, along with a low growl. Frightened still, Ruth shoves him off with a kick to his gut. He groans and rolls off her.
That is her opening. Ruth scrambles to her feet, coughing and wheezing. She starts forward only to stumble when Pennywise reached and grabbed her ankle. Ruth knocks his hand away with a kick then continued to run from him. She knew he is a dangerous creature but to suddenly turn on her like he did, not only frightened her but enraged Ruth. She trusted him in not harming her, yet he broke that promise.
She makes a quick glance at him, barely noticing the stunned horror in his eyes. Ruth scowls at him then turned away. Ruth has no control over her mouth since her brain can't comprehend what triggered him to attack her like he did. She failed to realize Pennywise hasn't eaten for the last several weeks, close to a month now. Victor's fear and letting him escape made the creature direct his attention to Ruth.
"You lied to me, Pennywise! You promised!"
Pennywise struggled to regard Ruth as her fear still hung in the air, but he mumbles.
"Ruth, please," Pennywise begs.
"No! You promised! You said you would never lay harm onto me! I trusted you!"
Ruth dashed up the steps, hugging herself as tears streamed down her face.
"Ruth! Wait, please!"
Pennywise managed to find some strength to start after her in a crawl. He must explain himself. His primal instincts to feed took root and blindly attacked the only person he grew to love. Pennywise feels something so profound for her, and now it's slipping through his fingers.
"Stay away!" Ruth screamed.
He struggled to his feet and rushed after her.
"Ruth, please, don't leave!"
Ruth whirls on the steps and snaps a venomous glare on him.
"No! You stay the hell away from me!"
Pennywise grinds to a heartbreaking halt and collapses on the steps.
"Ruth, please. Let me explain!"
Ruth ignored his plea and rushed further up the steps.
"Vivi, please!"
She answered with a sob and slammed the basement door.
The last thing she hears is Pennywise crying out her name.
"Vivi," his voice rang in her ears. "You smell pretty."
Ruth heaves a shuddering sigh from her lungs, lowering her arm. She gazes at the small perfume bottle then directions her attention to the bouquet of flowers, which are still very much alive from a month ago. Her heart dropped when she recalled the heated argument they had about Ruth hiding her pregnancy. Robert went out of his way to make things up with her by presenting Ruth with those meaningful flowers. She doubts he'll do a repeat. Well, if he does, Pennywise would have to do something extreme to make up for what he has done. Or maybe Ruth should consider a grand gesture to show interest she is willing to hear him out now. Pennywise probably would care less if she were. He won't talk now that she pushed him away again.
She frowns as her tears remained to fall. Ruth turns her gaze to the spot where the mattress should be. Robert brought the bed downstairs so she could fall asleep surrounded by the warm Christmas lights. Little Copper, the basset hound puppy Robert got her, even slept with them. They felt like a happy small family. Now the feeling of hope is gone.
"You are a fucking worthless, hopeless nuisance of a child."
"Nobody wants a good for nothing little shit like you for a friend, Ruthie darling."
Ruth violently shook her head and covered her ears. She shushes herself from letting her mother and uncle's voices fester in her brain. She shudders another sigh, panting with tears brimming her eyes once more.
"Don't listen to them. Don't let the demons get to you," Ruth mumbles. "Don't let them win."
With a few long steady breaths, Ruth calmed herself and listened to the sounds within the house. Except, it is much too quiet. She doesn't particularly care for it, either. She ran from Pennywise after he attacked her. Granted, he didn't leave any physical sign of the encounter, but there is a numb pain around her throat. Ruth reached at her neck to try rubbing away the feel of his hand there. The fear she felt lingered in her blood, even the image of his maw opening remained. Ruth never felt truly afraid of him until that moment. She was scared of Pennywise at one point but stopped when Ruth took the time to understand his nature. Now, Ruth is terrified of him for wanting to feast on her flesh despite Ruth being fearless. He just turned on her as if everything they went through to get here was nothing to him.
She remembers calling out for Pennywise to stop, but her voice never reached his ears. It had to take a punch to his face for him to stop, even a kick to the gut. When he finally came around, Ruth didn't give him time to comprehend the situation or explain himself. All she did was rush out of the basement and came up here to her room. Maybe Ruth should have stopped to think what triggered him to attack her instead of running away in fright and accusing him of betraying his promise. She stood there to piece together any clues that would hint to him laying his hands on her.
Knock knock knock …
Startled, Ruth gasps and snaps her attention to the open door behind her.
There is a long pause, long enough where Ruth thought she is starting to hear things that are not there.
… Knock knock knock
"Oh, thank god," she sighs.
At first, Ruth was going to ignore them but figured she better not. It would be rude of her, or she could pretend she isn't here. Ultimately, Ruth went against her better judgment and decided to answer. With a steady breath, Ruth sets the perfume bottle back on the dresser. Her eyes caught sight of the jewelry box she has yet to open. She has a feeling there is something significant and vital inside but is stalling for the right moment. Although, when is the right moment?
… Knock knock knock …
The knocking sounded impatient from the rapid sound. With a final sigh, Ruth rushes out of the room and down the steps, trying to be mindful not to trip and fall. Ruth doesn't need a repeat. Unfortunately, Ruth did stumble in the same spot months ago. She makes a startling yelp but is quick to catch herself this time with a ragged breath after the fright.
"Phew! Holy sweet baby Jesus, I feel like this spot is cursed," she says out loud.
She continued on without any other incidents. Ruth did look back at the spot, though, for some reason. She is beginning to wonder if there is something there, but Ruth will figure that out later. Once she reached the bottom, Ruth sprints to the front door and wrenches it open.
"What?" She shouts.
It's been a while since I've seen her. It's been what, almost a week now? I hope she liked her gifts.
Mike stood nervously at the front, glancing around every few seconds to make sure no one was watching. He would hate to get caught here and reveal Ruth's Safe House. Mike would prefer she was somewhere else. However, if Ruth feels safe at Neibolt, then she should be here. He may not care for the place since it is rundown and creepy, but Ruth does for some strange reason.
Beauty does lie in the eye of the beholder, Mike thought to himself.
He sighs heavily then raps at the door, waiting. Mike tucked his hands in his coat pockets and rocked on his heels, patiently waiting. After a long moment of silence and no one appeared, he became perturbed. Usually, Ruth and Robert are always here doing who knows what and would be here at the first set. So, Mike found this unusual for neither to show up yet.
Mike tries again, still no immediate answer.
"Um, are they out or something?"
He leans sideways to look through the sidelights, hoping to see someone. No one came, though. Mike waited an additional minute before knocking frantically. Still no answer. Mike clears his throat from a bubble of fear rising in his stomach. Now that he's thinking about it, something seemed off here. Mike glances around, hoping to find some sort of clue as to what is causing this suddenly uncomfortable aura. He turned to face the street and leaned against the door to calm his nerves.
Don't freak out! I'm sure they're just, his thought stops suddenly.
"What?" Ruth shouts from behind him.
The door opened behind Mike, which he falls backward with a startled yelp and grunts upon landing flat on his back. He momentarily found himself on the floor and staring up at a worn-out, surprised Ruth, who, despite her current condition, looks like a summer goddess with a veil of fire for hair.
"Oh um," Mike starts with a nervous chuckle and grins stupidly.
Welp, this is embarrassing.
Ruth's snarl drops from seeing a familiar face. She stares at him, gapping. He quickly became concerned and worried when he noticed Ruth's dried tears and red eyes.
"Mike?" Ruth stutters.
"Hey, Ruth."
"What, what are you doing here?"
"Ooh, I just dropped by to admire the ceiling," he wittily jokes.
Ruth coughed back a laugh and fought a smirk, but her voice deceived her.
"Funny. Seriously, what are you doing here?" She inquires in amusement.
Mike slowly stood to his feet, regarding Ruth with a gentle smile. "I actually wanted to come by and see how your and Robert's first Christmas together was."
"Oh um," Ruth started to answer while rubbing the back of her neck.
"Are you okay, Ruth? You don't look so good."
Despite her lingering hatred towards him, Ruth couldn't find it in her heart to be aloof towards him. She's still very much upset with Pennywise and doesn't necessarily want to associate with Mike right now. Ruth desires some privacy to sort out her thoughts and emotions. Her mind is at war.
"I'm, I'm fine, just," she shakily sighs. "I really just need some time alone to understand something. I don't want to get into right now. So, it's really not a good time to talk."
Mike regards her with a frown, sighing lightly.
"Um okay. Well, instead of talking, would you rather go for a walk with me and get some fresh air? You look like you could use it."
"It's kind of you to offer, but I really shouldn't."
"Please, Ruth," he begs. "For old times' sake?"
She stared for a moment, reluctant to go with him. Ultimately, Ruth caves with a heavy sigh.
"Fine, just give me a minute."
Mike curves his lips in a soft smile. "Thanks, Ruth."
"Yeah, yeah, your welcome. Come on in so people don't see you."
He promptly follows Ruth inside and closes the door behind him. Mike immediately noticed the tense atmosphere, even the ominous chill. He glances over at Ruth, who ascended the stairs slowly and looking worse for wear.
"Are you sure everything is okay? You seem, I don't know, depressed."
"I'm fine," she snaps then rushed up the steps.
Mike is not stupid to know that things are not okay when he heard Ruth lightly sob. Whatever is going on, he's going to find out. Initially, Mike was going to wait by the front door. Instead, he ventured further into the house for clues. While investigating, Mike can hear Ruth crying while she did up herself. He walked towards the spare bedroom, thinking there will be something in there. Once Mike peered inside, he is taken aback at the Christmas decorations adorning the darkened wood. They are still lit up, too. He whistles at the display.
Wow, this is surprising, he thought to himself.
"I didn't realize you decorated, Ruth. You did a great job," Mike yells.
He hears Ruth clear her throat, "Oh um, it wasn't me. Robert did all of that," she answers with a shout herself.
His mind just crashed like two vehicles hitting dead on. Huh, what? Robert did all of this. Why?
"He, he did?"
"Yeah, he surprised me on Christmas Eve."
Dumbfounded, Mike stared and gaped at the magnificent display. He then caught sight of the mistletoe. His face falls, a little twinge of hurt filled his heart. He gulps tightly before turning away from it. He hears an excited yip at his feet, causing Mike to step back and look down. Mike's eyes widen when little Copper stood below him and lightly barking.
"What the? Did, did Robert get you a puppy?" Mike questioned.
"He did. Mike, meet, Copper."
Another mind crash. "Copper?" He stutters, eyeing the cute puppy with mouth gaping. "You mean, the dog from The Fox and The Hound?"
"No, the doctor from The Thing. We both have a love for horror films. I must admit, it was a magical night," Ruth responds fondly in a small voice.
Wait, did they? Aw hell, no!
"Mike," Ruth gently called from behind him.
He whirls around with eyes widened and mouth hanging, oblivious to her disguise.
"Rob, Robert got you a puppy and surprised you with," Mike pauses to gesture at the Christmas lights and tree. "This?"
Ruth faintly smiles, pink gracing her cheeks, and glances down. "He did."
Mike noticed there is a tinge of sadness laced in her voice.
"Are you sad about this?"
She regards him with a slight frown and pressed her lips, shaking her head.
"Then what's wrong? I would like to help you here."
Ruth opens her mouth only to close.
He's not sure what is going on, but apparently, Ruth is having a hard time comprehending something. Her gaze brimmed with unshed tears and lightly trembled. Mike sighs, feeling upset himself with how Ruth is acting. Something clicked in his brain.
"Did that sum bitch do something you didn't want him to do, Ruth?"
She looks up at him with her brows knit close. "What are you instituting here?"
"Did Robert force himself on you?"
Startled, Ruth balks and gaped. "What? No! Robert wouldn't do that. He's quite the gentleman. I told you that. We just," she stops, really not wanting to go into details about what happened.
"I will never hurt you," Pennywise's voice repeats in her chaotic mind.
Did he mean that? I don't understand why he would turn like that. God, fuck, I'm so bloody confused!
"You know what, I don't care. Come on now," Mike urged, tugging her to the door.
"Wait, Mike, I really shouldn't," Ruth protested, digging her heels into the wood floor.
"What harm would it do spending time with me, Ruth? Just come on," he repeats.
Reluctant still, Ruth glances over at the basement door. She knows Pennywise is still down there, well, not entirely. He is nearby, but it appears Pennywise is in the sewers. Ruth is amazed at how far she can sense his presence. She then started to feel something else, a headache. Ruth can feel it press tightly around her forehead, and in the back, there's even a sharp stabbing pain at the neck, which caused Ruth to shut her eyes and grimace.
Damn, I have never had a headache like this before. Tension pains maybe, but not this.
"Really, Mike, I can't go. I thought I could, but I can't. Besides, there's something I need to do, plus I'm getting a headache," Ruth insists, then yanks her hand out of his.
Mike grew frustrated, even hurt at Ruth's defiance.
"Yeah, right. Whatever it is you need to do can wait."
He reaches for her and tugs harshly, causing Ruth to stumble. She maintains her balance but, unfortunately, is pulled out of the house against her will. Ruth wants to snap and punch Mike. Instead, the better part of Ruth pulls her hand back again and walks inside to a nearby table.
"What are you doing?" Mike groans impatiently.
"I'm letting Robert know I'm with you in case he comes back up and wonders where I have gone."
Mike stared, befuddled at her comment.
"Um, why would he?"
"Listen, Michael, I don't want to get into the details. The only thing you need to know is that Robert and I had a misunderstanding."
From the doorway, Mike's brows furrow.
"Really? What, what sort of misunderstanding?" he asked stupidly.
"I told you I'm not going into details," Ruth snaps, glaring with a snarl.
"Alright, okay, jeez. You didn't have to bite my head off."
Ruth sighs heavily, her features softening depressingly. "Sorry. I'm just under a lot of stress."
I can tell, Mike thought to himself. He dared not to make that comment, though.
"Is he not here or something?"
Ruth pauses for a moment to speculate on how to answer this. She turns her attention to the basement door, searching the wood for the right words. With a heavy sigh, Ruth regards him with a frown.
"I don't know," she spoke lowly. "The last place I saw Robert was in the basement."
Mike observed Ruth, noting the depressed undertone.
"So, he's missing?"
"No, I don't think so. Robert just needs some space for the time being, as I do. Going on a walk with you is not exactly what I had in mind."
"Yeah, I know, you said that already. Just hurry it up. This place gives me the creeps."
Ruth ignores him, quickly jotting down her note with a saddened frown. She swiftly crosses the room to tuck the letter between the door and doorframe. Ruth then returns to Mike's side. She shoots him a pointed look then brushes past him, who followed behind with a roll of his eyes.
Little did she know, the note slid from which it sat and blew under the door to the basement floor. It soared gently towards the well then rested on the brick.
Sadly, it went unnoticed.
The supposed walk quickly turned into an unofficial date as Mike drew Ruth further away from the Neibolt House and into town. Sadly, the distance only added more stress on Ruth as her headache worsened to the point of nausea. Mike actually felt bad for forcing her to come with him. He thought she was playing it up to avoid him, but apparently, that wasn't the case. They had gone to Mr. Keene's Drugstore to get some aspirin for her, along with Emetrol, to ease her queasy stomach.
To help ease the symptoms further, Mike bought Ruth chamomile tea at a nearby coffee slash bakery shop. They sat at a nearby bench, relaxing under the exceptionally bright sun of December.
Ruth sighs heavily as she laid back, thinking about Pennywise. No matter where she is, he always springs into her mind.
Why do I feel so guilty about this?
Beside her, well, on the opposite end, Mike strangely stared at Ruth. He gawked at the cool brown wig she wore, even noticed the peek-a-boo cleavage from her v-neck peridot green sweeter. Mike has never seen her wear anything so, unlike her. He wets his lips and gulps, mesmerized by her disguise.
"Um, you look," Mike started.
"Save it," Ruth snaps.
She instantly regrets it. All it did was made Ruth remember the tension she and Robert had after their argument about her pregnancy. She recalls his admiring, appreciative gaze on her person, which only caused the burning inferno to ignite in her stomach. The Christmas Eve kiss confirmed her attraction for Pennywise and opened her eyes that Ruth really does care so genuinely for the inter-dimensional, ancient being.
"Sorry, it's just that…," he paused to scan her relaxed posture. "I've never seen you like this before. It's different."
"Different how?"
"Like I'm looking at a different version of you. What's going on that you're like this, Ruth?"
Ruth snapped her topaz blue eyes on him, giving him a pointed look. "Don't mention my name in public, Michael."
"Alright, okay, jeez, sorry. What would you like for me to refer you by then?"
She heaves a sigh, her headache still lingering. "Vivian."
"Vivian. Hmm, that's a pretty and grown-up name."
"Thank you, and um, thanks for the tea. It's helping a lot."
"You're welcome," he offered and gently smiled.
They sat there for a moment in awkward, tense silence. It used to be easy to talk with Mike, but Ruth is finding it hard to open up about anything now. She would like to discuss what has happened, but it's never an easy subject to just willingly discuss with a smile.
"So, um, what's going on with you?"
"I really don't want to talk about my problems. How are the others?" She questions with a little cheerier voice.
Mike stares, astonished Ruth is asking about his friends but felt hurt Ruth is not willing to talk about herself. "Um, they're okay. They're all wondering about you, well, except Bev. She could care less."
"Yeah, I know. Marsh always hated me for some reason. How's Gray Water?"
"Um, Richie is okay. Besides Stan and me, he seems more worried about you than anyone. He really hasn't been the same since we discovered your mother and uncle's bodies."
Ruth wanted to comment, but something told her to remain quiet. Some things are best left unsaid. Instead, she poked around to figure out why Richie is concerned about her.
"What do you mean by Gray Water not being the same?"
"He just doesn't seem his usual self in being obnoxiously irritating and funny lately. I think he secretly likes you."
She stares at Mike from the corner of her eye, observing him. Pfft, yeah, right.
Mike sighed heavily and rubbed the back of his neck. "I miss seeing you around," he admits finally.
Ruth is not by any means taken aback by his bluntness nor shaken at him for missing her. In fact, she doesn't feel any emotion. When Ruth was around him before shit hit the fan, she had a crush on him. Mike saved her life for crying out loud! He's kind and honest, even offered her safety when Ruth desperately needed somewhere to escape her hell. Except, she knew what it would have entitled. Ruth would be safe but will feel incomplete and missing something from her life. Being with Mike, in the beginning, would prevent Ruth from learning anything about what she knows now. She wouldn't learn anything about her father or who she actually was. Her relationship with Henry Bowers, along with Reggie, well Belch, and Victor would be different.
Ruth wouldn't have scared Victor for the fun of it. However, something didn't seem right about it. It was fun to hear him scream then laugh towards the end at Victor's fear, but there are a couple of gray areas. It's as if she's missing pieces. Ruth doesn't remember what happened afterward. All she does recall is the tingling rainwater sensation that invigorated her senses and Pennywise attacking her. She still doesn't know why.
When Ruth failed to acknowledge him, Mike sighed heavily.
"What happened to you, Ruth?" He whispered her name so no one would hear.
Ruth jumped slightly from the question, unknowingly spacing out.
"A lot," she answers vaguely.
Her eyes watering from recollecting the events from months prior. The pregnancy, argument, her fall that led to a miscarriage, and lying in a hospital for a week. Her status with Pennywise shifted on the dime and are caught in a complicated, possibly broken relationship now.
"Can you tell me anything?"
"No."
Mike sighs again, "You're not the same girl I used to know. Before, you were this kind, compassionate person, who had a freaking backbone and was easy to talk with."
"I barely remember who I once was, Mike."
He regarded then, startled at the detachment in her voice.
"I don't even feel like a teenager. I had to grow up really fast, especially after everything that has happened in the last six months. I won't tell you the details, but I went through a shit storm. Thankfully, I had Robert right by my side to help carry me when I couldn't," Ruth's voice started to crack.
Mike just stared, eyes brimming with tears as he watched her walls start to crumble.
With a shaky breath, Ruth continued despite her sore throat. "I'm fourteen going on thirty, Mike. I feel as though I'm missing a part of me still, and I don't know what that is. I'm constantly living in my head," she shook her hands by ears for emphasis, her voice strangled slightly. "I keep living in the past, and I can't escape it."
Mike frowns before opening his mouth to say something. He stops when a breeze suddenly gusts around them, slapping a newspaper into the side of Ruth's face. She makes a startled, light cry while Mike chuckles to himself as the paper shaped around her head like a decorated, flying jellyfish. She ends up dropping the styrofoam to-go cup full of tea onto the ground with a splat.
"Where's my camera so I can take a picture? That's actually a sight worth headlining," Mike chortles.
"Oh, haha, very funny, Mike," Ruth groans yet is a little amused.
She rips the newspaper away from her face, gripping it tightly with one hand. Ruth looks over it, discovering it is from almost a month ago. She was about to toss it aside once her eyes caught sight of a photo. It's a picture of the last child Pennywise ate. Ruth slowly started to realize his actions. She may not have wanted to go on this walk with Mike, but it provided Ruth a pretty damn good clue now.
Penny attacked me out of hunger. He never betrayed me!
"People do irrational things when deprived of something essential like food, sleep, are in lust for someone, or their own sanity. They are vaguely aware of what they are doing until the deed is done. That is one of the reasons why I scorn mankind. Humans are quick to turn on one another."
Ruth holds a breath, eyes had gone wide, and lips tremble. She then remembered the promise Ruth made to not push him away if he ever did something stupid or made her question his actions. Oh no, how could I have? Oh, fucking shit and Shinola! How could I have forgotten my promise to him? Shit, he's going to hate me!
Mike watched Ruth for a moment, slightly confused, and considering something. He sighs, preparing himself for the outburst that is to come.
"I think you need to come out of hiding and be around your own peers."
Despite realizing why Pennywise attacked her, Ruth's eyes narrow dangerously at him. "You think what?"
"You're not yourself, Ruth. You need direction and not have this foreign asshole of a schmo, who is doing more harm than good, shape you into this unrecognizable person. I firmly believe the only reason why you're protecting him is that Robert is the one who gutted Jonathan. Right?"
She sits up, her eyes darkening menacingly. "Watch what you say about Robby. You don't want to see me at my angriest."
Mike didn't like the sound of that but pressed further despite the warning signals.
"I'll take my chances. Besides, I'm tired of lying for you and pretending you're not here. So, I'm giving you an ultimatum. Either you come out of hiding and save Robert from facing criminal charges, or I will go to the authorities and tell them everything. For all I know, they will most likely tear down the house since it's doing nothing but sitting there, plus it will keep you from going back."
Ruth glares at Mike, her lips taut with fury.
"Excuse me?"
Mike didn't like the tone Ruth nor did he care for the way Ruth glared at him. She has this vicious, angry expression that could kill thousands of men. He won't show it, but Mike became extremely fearful. Outwardly, Mike didn't cower or show displeasure. He doesn't want to give Ruth the satisfaction of the reaction she wants or intimidate him into silence.
"You heard me. Either you come out of hiding and save your "supposed friend" from being convicted of murder, or I'll go forward and tell them, which you will end up losing everything."
She continues to glare at him, seething underneath her tight lips viciously. With a deep exhale, Ruth stood up from the bench and towered over him.
"You don't threaten me, boy. I will decide when to come out of hiding. Understood?"
Ruth calling Mike "boy" caught him off guard, but he also grew furious.
"I was not threatening you, Ruth. I'm giving you a choice of what you should do. I don't like the fact your supposed friend disappeared on you as he did because of some misunderstanding. You have until New Years Day to make a decision. If you don't decide by then, I will do it for you." Mike warns then stood himself.
"Here, I thought taking you for a walk would help you, but I was wrong."
Ruth scuffs with a cruel sneer.
"Never expect anything to go according to plan, Homeschool Kid." Ruth snarled.
Ruth started forward with the intent of hurting him. She stops suddenly then violently shook her head before staggering away, feeling an overwhelming surge of unrelenting rage. Ruth visualized beating Mike senseless to the ground with a bat, and it frightened her to the core. She needs to get away from him and back to Pennywise. They need to have a heart to heart.
With that goal in mind, Ruth leaves, sprinting down the sidewalk.
"Vivian, wait," Mike called out to her.
She doesn't stop.
Mike watched her run off with a saddened frown. He was hoping his time with her would benefit in getting his crush to realize she's better off with him. Unfortunately, her heart remains on staying with a guy who Mike believes is coaxing Ruth into this unrecognizable person. Mike knows Ruth is a smart girl and hopes that she will see how much of a bad influence Robert is. Except, he knows she won't.
He heard it in her voice and saw it in her eyes when she spoke about the adult earlier. Ruth is in love with Robert.
Several months ago
"It's okay. You're safe now."
Pennywise hugged Ruth still. He inhales, smelling the warm vanilla rose wafted in his nostrils. It's the perfume he got her for Ruth's birthday. She ended up purchasing the bath set since Ruth loves the scent. It fits her perfectly.
"You smell pretty," he whispers.
She hums and gently smiles, "It is your favorite and mine."
Ruth shivered, which only prompted Pennywise to snatch a nearby blanket and wrapped it around her snuggly. He won't remove her from his person, Ruth is still trying to calm herself from Henry's attack.
"Why would he do that, Pen? Why would Henry attack me like that?"
Pennywise heaved a sigh, "People do irrational things when deprived of something essential like food, sleep, are in lust for someone, or their own sanity. They are vaguely aware of what they are doing until the deed is done. That is one of the reasons why I scorn mankind. Humans are quick to turn on one another."
Ruth considered this for a moment, empathizing with him on this aspect. Her race does have a tendency to show disloyalty whenever conflicts arise, even in the face of petty arguments. However, some show complete devotion to their partners.
"Not all of us are deceitful, Pen."
"I know, but most are."
She gulps, "Do you abhor me?"
"No," he responds quickly.
He gently nudges Ruth back, being mindful to keep the blanket from falling down her shoulders. Pennywise held her hand and pointed to the intricate gold band on her left pinky.
"I gave you this for a reason, Ruth. Where I come from, allies are hard to come by. I'm fortunate enough to have found you. I find you particularly intriguing."
"And irritating." She adds with a knowing smirk.
Pennywise scuffs lightly in amusement. "Yeah, that, too. I know it's small, but this ring shows your loyalty to me."
"I said it before, and I will repeat it. It's beautiful. Where did you get it?"
"It's not important. Just so you know, if I ever do something stupid or if there is an incident where you question my actions, please remember I'm not perfect and have my moments of weakness, too."
Ruth smiles, "I'll remember, and I promise I won't push you away either. I hate being away from you, Pen. My mind goes somewhere dark when you're not here with me. If it weren't for you, I'd either be lost or dead by now. I'm so glad you came into my life."
Pennywise softly smiled and drew her close, hugging Ruth tightly. The next thing Ruth knew, his lips gently touched the top of her head. She grins happily and hums.
"I'm glad, too."
Ruth stumbles, collapsing onto the hard pavement with a grunt. Her breath is ragged, and her vision is blurred from tears. She wants to softly smile from the sweet memory but grimaces deeply. Ruth settled on the ground to catch her breath, then stared down at her left hand. She pulled her hand close to admire the intricate gold band on her pinky. It gleamed and dazzled from the sun where a faint smile finally spreads on her lips.
How in the hell did I forget my promise to him? God, fuck, I'm such a bloody idiot. I should have remembered and had him explain, Ruth thought.
She heaves a heavy sigh from her lungs then stood back to her feet. Ruth rushes back to the Neibolt House, needing to reach him, and hear Pennywise out. She knows what will happen once he's no longer around. Ruth should have thought about that before shouting for him to stay away.
Please, Pen, please be there. You have no idea how much I need you.
Upon reaching the front porch and entering the house, Ruth's voice pierces the dead silence.
"Pen," she cries out with a pant.
Nothing.
Panting still, Ruth stepped and stood at the bottom of the stairwell, staring up.
"Penny!"
Silence.
Continuing to audibly pant, Ruth proceeds to call out for him.
"Pennywise, please! Are you hearing me? We need to talk!"
His silence followed.
Ruth took a moment to decipher if he was nearby, no cold prickle.
If he's not in the house, maybe he's in the sewers, Ruth thought to herself.
The only way to find out is to descend the well and travel to his lair.
Ruth dashes to the basement door and reaches for the handle. Except, something seemed off. Her hand swiped at air, no dirty crystal knob filled her palm. Startled, Ruth glances down, hoping she didn't imagine it. Sadly, Ruth wasn't.
No doorknob.
"What, what the hell?"
Ruth knows Pennywise is the master of illusions, but this seemed different than any other she seen. He's not inside the house, but Pennywise could be in the sewers. Except, can his powers extend to other parts of the house or anywhere in Derry if he's not near? Ruth hasn't seen him perform such a feat.
She breathes raggedly then flicked her teary gaze on the wooden panel only to be met with a dark wall. A sob escaped from her trembling lips as her hands snapped to the wall. Ruth's fingers grazed the wood, searching frantically for a seam of where the door should be.
"Pen," Ruth called with a struggle.
She pounds at the wall, hoping he will hear her.
Nothing.
"Pen," she cries.
Ruth continued to search for the door while knocking at the wall. Her cries go unnoticed as pain-stricken horror filled her heart. She pounds harder and yells for him.
"Pen, please! Let me through!"
She viciously batters at the invisible door, thick tears blinded her vision and trailed down her cheeks. Ruth suddenly kicks at the sash with a yell, desperation creeping into her bones. She remembers before running away from him the horror etched on his clown features. His voice rang in her head from when Pennywise called to her.
"Ruth! Wait, please!"
And she had the gull to scream at him.
"You stay the hell away from me!"
A whimper leaves her lips as she continued to batter and kick at the wall, grunting each time. Her eyes started to see red appear on the darkened wood. As Ruth pounded and slapped at the invisible door, her hands bleed. Ruth cries from a searing pain on her palms, unaware of the damage she is causing on herself.
"Pen! Please, don't shut me out! I'm sorry, I forgot!"
Ruth pummeled at the wall and cried to him for five minutes straight to the point she couldn't feel her hands anymore. With one last slam, she lets out a wail.
"PEN!"
Her head rests on the bloodied wall, convulsing from sobs quaking her tiny chest. Ruth slowly collapsed to her knees, crying. She covers her head with her arms, wincing slightly from the lacerations on her hands once Ruth started yanking at her hair and slapping herself. Ruth mumbles incoherently, trembled from head to toe, and whimpers. She rocks on her heels like the frightened and alone child that she is.
"I can't be alone," she mumbles. "I can't. Not with them."
She hunkered close to the wall, listening to the stillness of which Ruth has grown to hate. Ruth pants slowly, trying to calm her racing heart. She needs to calm down fast. She reaches down to touch the floor with a bloodied finger and drew an unusual symbol. Ruth then started to sing the first thing that came to her head.
"If I had another chance tonight," Ruth started to sing in a haunting whisper.
She steadies her breath, concentrating on not panicking.
"I'd try to tell you that the things we had were right."
Ruth is disturbed from a light whine. The basset hound puppy emerged from the spare bedroom to investigate why his master is crying. Copper gazed at the weeping Ruth sadly, whimpering. With a sigh, the pup slowly trudged over to Ruth's side. Upon reaching her, his head laid on Ruth's knee and gazed up at her with a mournful groan.
Ruth eyes the puppy through her tears, grimacing. Pennywise's Christmas present just reminds her of him and how torn he could be right now. She weakly reached down to pet at Copper's ear, only to pause at the sight of her hand. Ruth frowns at the blood, discovering the numbness. She can't feel anything right now, and it sickened her. She sighs, turning her hand over to gently pet the crown of his head. The pup lifts its head to lean into her touch, his brows twitching sideways. Ruth watched him for a moment, her tears slowly ceasing.
"I'm such a fucking idiot, Copper," Ruth whispers.
Copper whimpered a whine then slowly crawled into her lap. Ruth wanted to support him, but her bloodied hands refused to soil his coat. She sighs heavily, thinking of what to do. Fixing her error is obvious, but how to go about doing just that? Ruth refuses to be alone. Pennywise shouldn't be either. She then started to put herself in his shoes.
Where would I go if I needed to distract myself from the heartache which was caused upon me?
She searched for the answer while watching the puppy sadly. Copper groans, squirming in her lap. He eventually rolled down her thighs and onto the floor with a light thump. Copper got onto his tiny feet, shook his fur then trotted over to the food dish in the corner. Ruth watched him, her brows knitting close. She watched her puppy gobble up his puppy chow then went for the water.
Water?
Her eyes widened when it slowly occurred to Ruth, where Pennywise might be. Ruth glances over at the wall that should lead to the underbelly of the house. He's lived in the sewers for a long time, but there are other entrances to get there. There is a sewer pipe located in the Barrens by the river. She can go there and access the sewers from the outside.
Ruth glances at the puppy, lapping at the water with an appreciative smile.
"Thank you, Copper," she mutters.
She quickly stood to her feet then rushed up the stairs to bandage her hands. Ruth doesn't want them to get infected by sewer water.
When Ruth finally reached the Barrens and followed the many drain systems into the atrium of the sewers, it was too late. Pennywise was nowhere to be found. Usually, the cold prickle was a sign he was around, but Ruth never felt the sensation. The only thing she felt was an emptiness overwhelming her broken heart.
Ruth collapsed to her knees at the base of his tower in defeat.
Sadly, Ruth spent the rest of the day alone, crying.
Come the morning of New Year's Day, a defeated, heartbroken, and filthy Ruth reluctantly came out of the shadows.
The reception Ruth received is exactly what she expected. The citizens of Derry welcomed and loved her as the person she doesn't recognize anymore. At least for most, but the others let old habits linger despite her reemergence.
With Pennywise no longer by her side, they have no clue what laid deep within her chaos.