As promised, I'm back.

She sighed and figured that maybe having a day for herself wasn't as bad as it sounded, she could catch up on the newest medical journals, maybe watch some Audrey Hepburn and rehydrate. Addison ran a hand through her hair and couldn't help but think about her naked husband inside of that shower, all wet with hot steaming water, his damp black curls; it was a turn-on, no doubts.

She bit her lip and decided to get busy before she even thought about jumping inside of there with him. She changed into new fresh pajamas and prepared herself a tea. Derek came out of the bathroom shortly after she took the first sip of her black tea.

Addison turned around to give a look at him before she couldn't admire his naked body for the rest of the days. Nah, who believes Addison anyway, she has memorized that man's body for more than eleven years now, she just watches for pleasure.

"Addison." Derek cuts her off of her thoughts.

She shook her head, now looking at him in the eye, "Hm?" She asks, sipping her tea and trying to act like she wasn't staring at her perfect ass just two seconds ago.

"You were staring." He says, tucking the towel around him.

Addison frowned a little, disappointed she didn't get the 360 grades look she wanted, "I wasn't."

"You were." He said again. "I always know when you're staring." Derek said with a cocky grin.

She blushed a little and turned around, decided not to look at him, knowing his charms were dangerous and she could easily forget she had a hangover every time he would look at her with those blue wonders.

"I still think it's useless for me to stay home." She says, turning around finally, to see him in underwear, choosing which flannel shirt to wear. "I've been worst than this at work."

"And you always got much worse after, remember?" He pointed out, putting on a hunter green flannel and zipping his jeans.

She rolled her eyes, "Flannel, really? That's how you think you'll charm the ladies now?"

"We both know I don't need any charms to enchant you." He flirts and walks closer to her, kissing just above her earlobe.

Addison bit her lip, trying to not increase the urge of kissing him right now, the increase of not pushing him against the wall and taking that flannel off of him herself. But she just closes her eyes and tries to relax under the situation.

"Am I right?" He kept teasing, his breath against her neck. So damn seductive.

There's a scary feeling that maybe he'll kiss her first and she won't be able to contain her hunger; as it has happened before. But he pulls away slowly and she watches his eyes doing a quick scan of her body from toes to head. There's something that flickers in his eyes when he looks at her with desire.

"Don't." She whispers, looking from his lips to his eyes, back and forth.

"I'm not doing anything." He says quietly. "What makes you think I'm doing anything?" He asks innocently, suddenly resting a hand on her hip, to hold her when his lips come to her cheek to give it a sweet kiss. "I'm just saying goodbye to my wife before I go to work."

She shakes her head slightly and looks down, "We both know that's just bullshit, Derek." She can't help but chuckle.

Derek moves a strand of red hair out of her face and kisses her cheek once again, "Bye, Addie. If you need anything give me a call or call the hospital to let me know." He instructed, grabbing his coat and putting it on, checking twice if he had everything… keys, wallet, phone, pager… done.

She watched him closely as he moved around the small can soup they've been calling 'home' for the last months, and comes closer to him when he's about to leave. "Bye." She said softly, kissing his cheek and patting his shoulder twice.

.=.=.

"Addison's sick at home?" Burke asks surprised.

Derek nods mutely.

"That doesn't sound like your wife." Preston said, both hands on his hips as the both surgeons kept walking down the hall.

Derek scoffs, "I've known my wife for eleven plus years, trust me, this does sound like Addison."

"Hm, no it doesn't."

"Yes, it does."

"Well, if she's sick home, then how come she just paged me to the ER?"

Derek's eyes widen as he sees his wife in blue navy scrubs waiting for Preston, her scrub cap on already, "Addison! What are you doing here?" He sounds clearly angry, even if it's not a big deal.

"I'm sorry, but I couldn't stay in that trailer and look out the window like it's some sort of aphrodisiac." She says, walking quickly through the hallways, Preston and Derek following closely. "I had to cut."

"You're not cutting, you're helping in the ER because I made Richard cancel all your surgeries." Derek said, being reasonable.

Addison lets out a dry chuckle, "That doesn't mean I can't get to work or cut."

"I'm sorry, Addison, you needed me?" Preston cuts in.

"Yeah, rheumatic fever. She's in labor and I need you there to monitor the mother meanwhile I monitor the baby."

Derek seems confused, "Wait, she's having a natural birth?" Her husband asks, trying not to gasp at this.

"She's pretty ready to push, I don't think we can ask her to wait." Addison shrugs.

"Rheumatic fever is a big deal, Addison."

Addison rolled her eyes, "I'm a double board neonatal surgeon, of course I am aware of that. Now, enough of chit-chat and let's get moving."

"What's her name?"

"Clara Thompson, 27 years old, 38 weeks pregnant, wasn't aware of the disease, so that's why she decided to have a baby without consulting a cardiologist, of course." Addison informed as she kept on walking fast towards her patient's room. "Apparently her mother died when she gave birth to her, she had the same illness."

Burke takes the chart from Addison's hands and reads, "This is a risky case." He says, exchanging an insecure look with Derek.

"This is a life, Preston. If you don't want to get involved, fine. I just need a cardiologist, I chose you, I could have chosen someone else." Addison argues, standing out of her patient's room. The moaning coming out of the room was quite alarming, but Addison didn't seem to be surprised or concerned.

"Fine, I'm in." Preston said, entering the room being followed by Addison. Derek on the other hand, had to stay outside since he wasn't needed or was involved in the case.

"That was amazing." She said, breathless, sitting next to Derek on the bench outside the hospital.

He looked at her and asked: "Surgery went well?"

She smiled at him and nodded, "Yes, it went great. Clara is taking her newborn son, Jacob, home tomorrow. We're keeping her overnight due to her condition."

Derek nodded in understanding, "I'm surprised Burke didn't say no, for a moment I was afraid you were going to have to call some lame resident."

"I knew he was going to come in with me." Addison said, looking around the place.

"You did?" He frowned.

She nodded and looked at him in the eye again, "Yeah, I trusted he was going to be adventurous."

"Well, it's good you two are friends." He said, grinning a little.

Addison hit him playfully in the arm, "Hey, maybe I'm not so popular over here because I'm Misses Shepherd, but there's no need for you to have pity on me." She jokes, crossing her arms over her chest.

He shook his head, "Shut up." He couldn't help but smile at her joyful face. "I'm happy your surgery went well."

"I'm sorry I didn't stay home as promised. Some tea helped and I just needed an advil for my headache." She said, giving away excuses he didn't need to hear, he was happy to see her happy out here, sweaty and painfully tired from all those hours in the OR, but still full of joy, with sparkling eyes.

"We both know a good bath of blood and organs always helps hangovers."

"That I do know." She giggles, nodding slightly. "I think we should talk about this morning."

"What part exactly? When you threw up or when you stared at me like I was a juicy beef." He said in that cocky tone of his, smiling at her.

"Shut up. And I wasn't looking at you like that." Addison said a little annoyed.

He laughed, "Jesus Christ, Addison. You were almost drooling over me."

"I was not." Addison says annoyed, cheeks burning up, "You are the one who drools when you see me naked."

"That is different, what you used to do in New York was torture, not seduction." He says.

She stays quiet for a couple of seconds, thinking about that sentence. What they used to do. It hurts to think they don't do those things anymore, there's no youth left, no fun. There's barely a time for them to solve their problems (that haven't been completely solved yet) and It's a little overwhelming to think about things they used to have or used to do.

"You tortured me this morning too."

"I learned from the best." He jokes, chuckling.

Addison sighs, "I miss that. Being so… free. So full of hope and… I don't know, I just miss it sometimes."

He nods mutely.

"I miss having cocktails with you, Savvy and Weiss. Go to the beach our weekends off. All those pranks you used to annoy me with."

He chuckles at the memories. "The pranks were fun."

"The pranks were awful." Addison said, shaking her head slightly.

Derek sighed, "Things are just not the same anymore. I guess we changed."

"Yeah. But mostly you did, I mean, flannel?" She keeps teasing him.

He rolls his eyes, "Addison I understand that you have a refined clothing style, but that doesn't mean I have to wear Ralph Lauren everyday as you do."

"It would look great on you! Think about all the interns you could catch with an Armani suit!" Addison jokes.

"Hey, that was mean."

"I know it was." She nodded.

After talking to Derek she went to the attendings lounge, finding a very nervous/upset Callie Torres looking for her. Addison looked a little surprised to see her friend looking for her, specially in this state.

"Hey, what is it?" Addison asks.

Callie sighs and rests a hand against her chest, "Thank God you're here." Callie says, "I need to know that you're not thinking of doing anything crazy."

"What do you mean?" Addison asks confused.

Callie touches Addison's upper arm, "About last night, when you… when you told me."

"I don't remember Callie, what did I tell you?" Addison asks, frowning.

That's when she remembers what she told Callie last night over many, many drinks. Addison's face goes pale, paler than as usual. She is shook.

"Callie, it's not what you think. I… I was drunk and I was being nonsense." Addison clarifies. "You don't need to worry about me. It's fine, I'm fine."

"No, you aren't! Addison, that's a big deal. Does- Does Derek know?" Callie asks concerned, her eyes sparkling with fear because of what her friend confessed last night under the effects of the alcohol.

"Believe me, it was a while ago and it's okay, just… Thank you for caring, but it's okay." Addison repeats, trying to calm down the woman in front of her. "It was a hard path but I went through it and I'm fine now."

The ride home was quiet, not awkward quiet, actually quite comfortable kind of quiet. He didn't say a word, neither did she, but when they went on the ferryboat, things changed.

Addison had realized she needed to tell Derek what she had told Callie last night. He needed to know, just as much as she needed to tell him.

"We need to talk." She suddenly said, not even sure where that came from. Addison stared into his eyes and grabbed one of his hands, "I need you to listen to me and not hate me after processing what I'm going to say." She says bravely.

Derek nodded and squeezed her hand gently. "Is something wrong?"

She shook her head, "It's complicated." Addison sighs, "Derek, promise me you won't hate me. Always and Forever, okay?"

"You're scaring me." Derek says softly, looking into her eyes.

"Good, because what I'm about to tell you it's not pretty." She blinks, running a hand through her hair. "When you left… I stayed with Mark." Addison says slowly, "I was alone and depressed and I didn't even know if you were alive so… I slept with him again. I never stopped loving you… I guess I was confused, alone and I needed something to distract myself. I'm so sorry."

Derek opens his mouth, no words come out. He shakes his head in denial, "I can't believe you." He says sharply, finally speaking. He pulls his hand away from hers, clearly upset by her confession.

"Wait," She begs, grabbing his shoulder, not allowing him to escape this conversation, "I need to tell you the rest… I… I got pregnant." She swallows, realizing what she just said, " I was going to abort his baby, I really was, but then… I had a miscarriage, the.. um, the antidepressants I was taking made me have a miscarriage."

"Antidepressants?" He asks, confused as to why were antidepressants involved. Did she start taking those after he kicked her out of their house and threw her clothes out to the pouring rain?

"I've been taking them for a few years now." Addison lets out, letting go of his shoulder.

Derek runs a hand through his hair and face, clearly frustrated by Addison's words, "Wait, so you've been lying to me for years now?"

It's already a big shock to know that she was pregnant with his former best friend, imagine knowing your wife has been lying to you for years now. Antidepressants? Does she have depression? How long has she been like this?

Addison looks down, not wanting to look at him right now, certainly embarrassed, "No, I was hiding my unhappiness, because you were focused on work, and when we were together I didn't want to drown you on my problems. I never wanted to be a bother, I was afraid of being a bother… I was a fool and I decided to not tell you things because I was afraid. I'm so sorry. So deeply sorry." She says, looking up to his blue teary eyes, knowing how stupid she was for keeping all those things to herself.

"You have got to be kidding me." Derek says, turning around, resting his hands against the ferry railing. "You hide your mental health from me," He turns around again, meeting her glassy eyes, "you cheat on me, you loose his child and I get to know all of this when I'm starting to fall in love with you all over again?"

His face screams rage, but his eyes are full of sorrow.

"I'm sorry, Derek." She whispers, taking a step forward.

He shakes his head, "I am sorry." Derek barks, "I promised you love and protection, compassion… I promised you attention and I didn't give you any of those, at least not as much as I should have. You were hurting and I didn't know." His eyes look down to the floor, ashamed.

"Derek, you don't… you shouldn't…" She rambles, shaking her head slightly.

Derek takes a step forward and wraps his arms around his wife, letting her hot tears burn down his neck and shoulder of the fabric of his flannel. He kept running circles on her back and kissing the top of her head, trying to show some comfort. "I should have been there, I'm sorry Addie. I'm sorry."

His arrogant self is gone, his selfish way of being completely faded. Now it's just his compassion and his love for Addison. Aching in pain for not being there for his wife when she needed him the most. He truly is angry that she didn't open up to him, but, could he blame her for not being able to? He couldn't.

He was away most of the time, so much time that he hated himself at times.

Derek pulled away slightly.

"What?" She murmured.

"We're already here." He said, showing a really small smile, but reassuring her everything was going to be okay.

They're sitting on the edge of the bed, already at the trailer, both of them soaking wet from the unexpected rain that had started. "Tell me more about it." He asks, placing a hand on top of hers.

"I've took those pills for five years now, but eventually I didn't take them everyday, just during hard moments." She took a deep breath before speaking again, "After you… after that night I started taking the regular dosis I was assigned and Mark happened again and then suddenly I was bleeding out." Addison said, her voice breaking a little.

He squeezed her hand, "You should have told me."

She shook her head, "It was something I should have told you the same day my psychiatrist prescribed them, but I didn't say a word." Addison looked into his eyes and felt deeply bad for him, knowing that your significant other hid something this important from you is not easy.

"You were so happy." She smiled a little, but it disappeared quickly as she reminisced, "It was after a long night shift and you had performed a flawless craniopharyngioma removal from that six year old… You were glowing happiness and I was exhausted. I took the pills and never said a word." Addison said, pursing her lips after finishing that painful sentence.

"Addie, promise me next time we won't fool ourselves. We need to communicate and solve things together, alright?"

She nods, "I know"

"Good."

"Now, about what you said in the ferry, what was that?" She asked, growing curious.

"I told you I had fallen for Meredith, but… Now I'm in love with you. I know you, I know every centimeter of your skin, of your wounded heart, or so I thought. There's something about your way of being that has always captivate me. That day in the exam room, when you had poison oak… that's the day I noticed I had fallen for you."

They always say good things come out of bad things, but she never imagined that her husband would realize he's in love with her because of poison ivy in her… 'lady parts'.

"Who else knows about this?" Derek asks, brushing a strand of red hair out of her face, wanting to get a better look of her pale blue greenish eyes.

"Savvy. Oh! And Callie Torres."

"Torres knew before me?!"

"I told her, when I was drunk, last night." Addison says, blushing.

"You shouldn't have drunk that much."

"It was a hard day, Derek."

He pulled her closer, "Still."

"I know, I feel stupid for doing that." Addison said, resting her head on the curve between his shoulder and neck.

There's something when Derek looks at her, the way he does it. Addison wants to capture this moment, when their eyes meet. Addison needs to capture this moment with her eyes, save it in her brain forever so she can replay it again and again without any of the details fading away.

But then the image is gone, being washed away by a bark from Doc, who is demanding some attention.

Both spouses look at the dog standing in front of them, Derek caresses his ears fur and directs his attention back to Addison, who seems puzzled.

Derek chuckles, "Why are you staring at him like that?"

Addison looks back at her husband, "I don't know, I just wonder if he stares when I'm naked."

"He does." Derek laughs.

She scoffs, "Just when I was finally getting to like him, I find out this."

"He's a pervert, Addison. He can't help it." Derek jokes, pecking her lips and quickly pulling away.

Addison stares into his blue eyes for a couple of seconds before deciding to push him against the mattress, connecting their lips. "Addison…" He breathed after she pulled away for some oxygen.

"I'm sorry.." She whispered, running a finger through her dry lips, seekers of his.

"Don't be." He said simply, grabbing her hand and kissing the back of it, before kissing her deeply, letting her press her body against his, parting his thighs with one of her own.

/

ah! hopefully you enjoyed… see y'all next Monday.