Did You Miss Me?
It only felt like an hour since Dean had said goodbye to his baby brother, but Sam was already back at his side. They'd retreated to the Roadhouse and were greeted by a party of people so large that it spilled outside. It seemed most of them were inclined to leave the big reception for when Sam arrived. When Dean spotted Eileen amongst, already running up to greet her grinning husband, he understood why. They had all the time in the world up here and the fact it passed so differently than on Earth meant there was no rush to drag out the welcome wagon. There was one face that Dean didn't see among the crowd though and it made his stomach twist.
"He won't come unless ya call."
Dean almost jumped not having noticed that Bobby had approached him. He'd been hugging the wall while nursing a beer and just enjoying the happy atmosphere. It wasn't until he noticed the missing face that his mood soured.
"Why not?"
"Ya didn't figure it out?" Bobby asked, mild disbelief creeping into his words. "Castiel practically runs the joint since Jack wanted to be hands-off. The resurrected angels needed a leader and Castiel stepped up."
"So...he's like Michael now?" Dean couldn't keep the worry from creeping into his voice. Bobby huffed and shot him a reprimanding look.
"Have more faith. He comes and goes, but he's only ever a prayer away."
Dean hummed and turned back to the party but his heart wasn't really in it now. He sipped his beer thinking about the last time he'd seen Castiel. The angel's confession had left him stunned and before he could regain himself the empty had ripped Castiel away. He never showed Sam how much Castiel's death affected him. Guilt coiled in his chest at his utter lack of response to the angel's emotional confession and even now it lingered. He reasoned that was because he'd only been in Heaven for what felt like less than an hour and it had only been a "week" since Castiel had died for him.
"I'm gonna duck out for a bit," Dean finally said. Bobby gave him a knowing look but the gentle look in his eyes reassured Dean.
"I'll cover for ya if they ask."
"Thanks, Bobby."
Dean ducked out of the crowded bar smiling as he passed Jo sitting on the porch as he exited. No one tried to drag him into a conversation thankfully and he slowly walked further away from the bar. There was a well-walked path that led into the woods and Dean walked until the sounds of the party died away. The path opened up to a large field that was cast in the glow of the setting sun. There was no one around and Dean sat on the grass and focused.
"Hey, Cas," he tentatively whispered. "I guess you know I kicked the bucket." The attempt at a joke fell flat and Dean swallowed back the emotions that crept up his throat. What could he say? What should he say?
"I feel like I'm always apologizing to you," Dean tiredly laughed. A soft breeze blew through the area and he inhaled heavily. Pine and fresh grass danced on the wind easing the tension in his body despite his chaotic emotions. There was a loud, almost deafening, flutter of wings behind him. Dean didn't turn around right away. If he did and Castiel wasn't there...he wasn't sure what he'd do.
"I should have said something back," Dean said. "I was so shocked someone like you, someone so perfect, could feel that way about me."
The sounds of grass being crushed as someone walked closer had Dean taking a shaky breath. He looked at the blaring sunset in front of him and pushed down all the worry he felt at being so open. This was Heaven and damn it he'd earned the right to be open.
"You changed me too," Dean continued with a smile. "You made me realize there was still some good out there. That despite it feeling like the whole damn world was against us there was someone higher up looking out for us. You made me believe Heaven could be a good place."
The silence after his admission dragged on for what felt like an eternity but it wasn't heavy. The air was, ironically, filled with life. Birds chirping, the sound of animals moving through the woods, and Dean swore he caught sight of a dear. Heaven had always felt so cold and foreboding before. Now it was like the best parts of living on Earth.
"I am far from perfect," the achingly familiar voice responded.
"You just gonna ignore everything else I said?" Dean asked, finally turning as he felt the grass shift next to him.
Castiel's deep blue eyes stared back at him. The angel was still in the vessel he'd had for ten years but was dressed differently. Gone was the traditional trench coat, dress shirt, and slacks. Castiel was wearing a loose dark t-shirt and jeans that made him look like the group of former hunters he'd left at the bar. His hair was a touch longer but otherwise, he looked exactly like Dean remembered him.
Perfect, he looked perfect.
"Your thoughts are so loud," Castiel gently informed him. Dean coughed and did his best to ignore the heat creeping into his face.
"Then you know how I feel."
He tried to sound confident, suave, but this situation still felt so surreal. Castiel chuckled and Dean almost jumped as the angel's head fell against his shoulder.
"Of course I do. There are days I know you better than I know myself, Dean Winchester."
"That's terrifying," Dean chuckled.
A comfortable silence washed over them and Dean laced his fingers through Castiel's. Castiel shifted his head and Dean looked down at the angel.
"May I kiss you?" Castiel's gentle question short-circuited something in Dean's brain, but he managed a small nod.
Castiel leaned up and brushed their lips together but quickly deepened the kiss. Dean got his brain working again and wrapped his arms around the angel, dragging him closer.
The kiss broke after several moments but Castiel didn't fully pull away, not that Dean would let him.
"What next?" Dean asked, dragging his fingers through Castiel's hair.
"We have forever," Castiel said. "What would you like to do?"
Dean grinned slightly. "As long as I've got you, anything sounds perfect."