Hello all! I'd like to thank every single one of you who left an AWESOME review :D You guys are the best :') Anyways, I hope you guys like this chapter. It's...pretty dramatic and you just may hate Hikaru by the end of it. You'll probably even wonder if he will ever be able to redeem himself. And could their possibly be the tiniest of cliffhangers? Hell if I know! Read to see ;)

I love you guys!

I stand in front of the door to my house. Tamaki, Kyouya, Honey, and Mori stand at my side.

"Be brave, Kao-chan!" Honey says reassuringly.

Tamaki nods in agreement.

I sigh and reach for the door handle.

I hesitate briefly before opening the door.

"Young Master, you're back!" one of the maids says to me as my posse and I enter the house.

"Your brother and a girl are waiting for you upstairs." She says.

I nod to her and turn around.

"Could you all…please come with me?" I ask in a meek voice while looking down at my shoes.

Tamaki cups my chin and pulls it up.

I am now staring in those gorgeous eyes of his.

"Of course we will, Kaoru." He whispers back.

The others nod in agreement.

I smile gratefully, turn back around, and begin my way up the stairs to where Hikaru will be waiting for me.

He's in his room, I bet. No, I know.

And he's with Haruhi.

He's waiting for me. Pacing around his room while Haruhi sits on his bed and tries to calm him down.

That is exactly what I'm going to see when I enter his room.

And I'm absolutely right.

As soon as I quietly and gingerly open the door to Hikaru's room, I see the lay out that I imagined in my mind.

Hikaru stops pacing and Haruhi bolts up from her seat on the side of his bed.

Hikaru marches straight up to me and grabs both my wrists.

"How could you, Kaoru?" he shouts in my face. "How could you worry me so much?" he yells.

I don't even realize that I start sobbing.

Has he finally realized that there is something wrong with me? Is he finally going to break up with Haruhi and give his time back to me?

"How was I supposed to know where you had gone last night? You didn't call me; you didn't text me, NOTHING! Where did you sleep, Kaoru, huh?"

Tamaki steps in, "He slept at my house, Hikaru." He says quietly.

He is speaking to my brother, but he is looking directly at me, his eyes filled with concern. I can see he wants to intervene and get Hikaru's hands off of me.

Hikaru glares at me with utter distaste, "You spent the night with that idiot?" he spits viciously, "I told you I didn't want you two to be acting all…whatever the hell you two are being like! It isn't normal, Kaoru!"

I hiccup and sob again.

Tamaki takes a step towards me and Mori inches closer to Hikaru in case my twin does something he will regret.

Would he regret?

"Why are you crying, Kaoru?" Hikaru says as he tightens his grip and pulls me in close.

Why is he being this mean if he truly cares?

Well I guess I know why.

Hikaru doesn't know how to display emotion correctly, so instead he just uses anger for every emotion he has. It's black and white for him: anger and happiness.

Hikaru pulls me in and hugs me, taking me and everyone else in the room by complete surprise.

"I'm the only one for you, Kaoru, you know that." He whispers in my ear, his breath sending shivers down my spine.

No one else in the room hears.

I put my head in his shoulder and sob.

How could he say that? How can he have someone other than me and still say that he's the only one I can have? Is he so dumb that he can't see I'm the only one for him, too?

"I think you guys should leave." Hikaru says to the stunned group of boys who stand behind us.

He puts his lips on my head and kisses the top of it.

"Kaoru?" Tamaki asks.

"Just go." I agree.

After a few moments, I hear footsteps and it is soon only Hikaru, Haruhi, and I in the room.

It's funny, but usually when Hikaru sends everyone home from our house; it is only the two of us left.

Now there is a third party.

Hikaru releases me from the hug and looks at me like a weary father who is sick of his misbehaving son.

It's the look of someone who has finally given up.

"Kaoru," he says tiredly, "I have no idea what's been up with you lately and why you are hanging out with Tono so much. If that idiot has something I don't and he can make you feel better, than I guess you really should go to him instead of me."

I want to slap Hikaru so bad right now.

How can he be such an IDIOT?! He's totally missed the point!

It isn't Tamaki that makes me happy, it's him!

How can he not see that?

Sure, Tamaki is an amazing friend and great support! But Hikaru is the one that I want to be running to! He just won't let me! He's so infuriating!

"Whatever makes you happy, Kaoru." He says sadly as he looks down at the ground.

Haruhi comes up behind him and puts a loving hand on his shoulder.

He grabs it with his hand and turns to look at her, a sparkle in his eye and a small smile.

I throw my arms up in defeat, "You're so dumb, Hikaru!"

Hikaru looks at me in shock, "What?!"

"You heard me! You're an idiot, Hikaru!" I shouldn't be saying these things, I'm going to regret them later, and I'm letting my emotions get to me. Oh no, why can't I stop. "Why can't you just understand? You make me so mad, Hikaru, sometimes…sometimes I just hate you!" I scream, and then clamp my hand over my mouth.

I knew it. I knew I was going to say something I didn't mean.

And now it was out there in the open. Just hanging there.

I want so badly to grab it and stuff it back in my mouth. But I know I can't.

I can't take it back.

I can never take it back.

Hikaru clenches his jaw.

I turn around and speed out of his room into mine.

I slam the door behind me and lock it, then run to my bed and fall on it.

I grasp my hair in frustration and groan.

How could I have said something so evil to my twin brother?

I don't hate him, I love him!

He's the best thing that has ever happened to me! He's everything to me and I just told him I hate him!

Oh, God, what do I do?

Will he ever forgive me for this?

I close my eyes and imagine one of the many acts Hikaru and I did in the club.

I see him with his arms around me, hugging me close with his lips pressed against my forehead.

I miss that so much.

He loved me then.

Now he doesn't.

Now he thinks I don't either.

I need to go apologize. I need to make everything right and the only way I can do that is if I apologize right now.

I jump up from my bed and run to my door.

I run straight out of my room to Hikaru's room.

His door is closed shut, so I take a deep breath and crack it open.

"Hika-"I stop and close the door quickly.

My eyes fill up with tears and I fall to the ground.

When I opened the door, I saw Hikaru sitting on the edge of his bed with his head thrown back.

Haruhi was on her knees in-between his legs, sucking away at his…yeah.

Neither of them had noticed me come in. Neither of them knew what I had seen.

How could Hikaru do this to me? How could he do something like that with that slutty commoner?!

I've never hated someone so much in my life before, and she hadn't even really done anything to me.

In fact, all she's been doing is making my brother happy.

Really happy.

Really, really happy.

Maybe that's why she is doing what she is right now.

And maybe last night, Hikaru wasn't even worried about me, and he was really doing things with her.

Did she spend the night? She was here in the morning. Maybe she hadn't come over today; maybe she had already been here.

I put my hands on my face and sob into them.

XX

We sit at opposite ends of the car. Both of us are in identical postures: one elbow propped on the side of the car, our hand supporting our chin, legs crossed, and looking angrily out the window.

We haven't said anything to each other since yesterday when I saw Haruhi giving my brother a blowjob.

I never got to apologize to Hikaru, and that's why he is still mad at me.

Oh well. Didn't seem like he really was thinking about me yesterday, anyways.

And me? I'm angry because of what they did yesterday. Hikaru betrayed me. He can't do something like that with her! With anyone!

We pull into Ouran and get out of the limo.

We stay at a good distance from each other and each walk to our first class.

Luckily, Hikaru and I only have one class together.

The bad thing is that we also share that class with Haruhi.

As they talk to each other in that class, I can't help but glare. I tap my pencil hotly on the desk, and I don't even realize that I break it when I see Hikaru whisper something in Haruhi's ear that makes her blush madly.

Finally, it is time to go to the host club.

I walk alone the Music Room #3.

I open the door and walk in slowly.

When I see Hikaru, already in the room, talking to Haruhi- once again!- I cross my arms and squint my eyes at them.

Hikaru looks up and catches my eye.

He stares at me a while with a confused expression.

Maybe he's wondering why I'm staring at him so madly.

Or maybe he's wondering why I suddenly hate him.

I shift my eyes to the side and see Tamaki.

That's when an idea pops in my head.

I speed walk up to Tamaki and grab him by the arm.

He stops talking to Kyouya and looks at me.

"Kaoru!" he exclaims, "How ar-"

"Come with me." I say, cutting him off.

I begin dragging Tamaki out of the room. Two people are staring at us: Kyouya, who looks slightly confused as to why I suddenly kidnapped Tamaki from him, and Hikaru.

I look back in time to see Hikaru looking at Tamaki and me with a disapproving expression.

Perfect.

I open the doors and drag Tamaki out with me.

I ignore his protests and questions as to where we are going, and take him to an empty hallway near the music room.

I open a door to our right that leads to one of the janitor's closets and lock the door behind us.

"Kaoru, why are we in a dirty old janitor's closet?" he asks me breathlessly.

The closet is small so we are pushed up against each other; chest to chest.

"Will you answer me, Kaoru?" he asks once more.

"I saw Haruhi giving Hikaru a blowjob yesterday!" I blurt out.

Tamaki's face suddenly falls.

"Wha-what?" he asks, his voice in a panicked state.

At that moment, I realize that Hikaru and Haruhi's relationship is as bad for Tamaki as it is for me.

I didn't even realize how much he is in love with her.

How can he be taking care of me when he is going through the exact same thing? He's noticed everything wrong with me, and I hadn't even known something was wrong with him.

I never really realized how nice of a guy Tamaki truly is.

"Yeah." I say simply, feeling bad for telling him so bluntly now.

Tamaki takes a shaky breath, "I'm sorry, Kao-"

I stop him with my lips.

I had leaned in mid-sentence and kissed him on the lips, taking him and myself by surprise.

Even though it is what I planned to do when I brought us in the closet, it is still shocking that I am kissing my friend.

A guy.

Tamaki.

I move my lips against his. He is frozen at first, but finally wraps his arms around me and pulls me in closer, kissing me back even more passionately than I am him.

He licks my lips and I part them. He sticks his tongue inside my mouth and begins to explore the new territory.

A moan escapes from somewhere in my throat and goes into his mouth.

We finally separate when we both need a breath of air.

"Why are you doing this, Kaoru?" he asks me breathlessly.

I say nothing and push him up against the wall.

I kiss the side of his neck, then the outline of his jaw, and then begin my way down his chest; pushing his uniform shirt up messily the further I go down.

I unbuckle Tamaki's pants and pull them down along with his boxers.

I marvel a bit at his manhood before I take it all in my mouth.

Tamaki bucks his hips and moans.

I start to wonder if this is how Hikaru had acted when Haruhi had begun on him.

I wonder how they had even got started in the first place. Who had taking the first step? Did Hikaru moan Haruhi's name like Tamaki was doing to me right now?

And with those thoughts in my head, I begin to cry.

Not loudly, just silently as I continue with Tamaki while he moans in pleasure.

No matter how much I love hearing Tamaki moan because of me, it means close to nothing considering I would rather it be Hikaru.

My tears run down my cheeks and I close my eyes until the whole thing is over.

When it is over, Tamaki slides down the wall to the ground. He rests his head on the wall and tries desperately to catch his breath.

I scoot over and sit next to him.

I let my head fall on his shoulder and just sit there, trying and failing to contain my tears.

After a few moments of silence, Tamaki puts his hand on my head and begins stroking my hair.

"Kaoru?" he begins, "Are you in love with Hikaru?" he asks timidly.

My tears immediately stop.

It all begins to make sense now.

Why am I so mad about Hikaru dating Haruhi? Jealousy. Why am I not eating? To get Hikaru's attention. Why was I so sad and angry when I saw Haruhi giving him that blowjob? Why did I drag Tamaki in this room and give him a blowjob? Why did I start crying when I started thinking about Hikaru?

I always thought it was because I loved my brother and just missed him.

But I was wrong. It's not because I love him; it's because I'm in love with him!

"Yes." I answer finally.

There is silence once again. Tamaki continues to stroke my hair.

He understands.

How?

"We should probably get back to the club." Tamaki announces softly.

I nod and take my head off of his shoulder, then push myself up.

I stick out a hand and help pull Tamaki up.

Before he takes my hand, he pulls up his boxers and pants.

I open the door when we are both standing and we make our way out.

We stand far enough away from each other that there is a small gap in-between us.

After a little while, I feel a hand grab mine and look down to see Tamaki's hand intertwined with mine.

I look in his eyes and smile. He smiles back and pulls me in, the gap disappearing.

I can't explain how grateful I am for him.

I realize now that we both need each other.

Both of us can not have the person we are in love with. We are each other's moral support.

And though there is something there for Tamaki; something I can't deny that I feel, I know that he will never be my Hikaru.

And I feel that he thinks the same thing.

Without any words, we have made a mutual agreement.

We will always be there for each other; we will always feel something for the other, but we will never be able to replace the other's true love.

We open the doors to Music Room #3 together.

Likewise, we walk in together, hands still intertwined, hair in a mess, and sweating.

All eyes turn to look at us.

Silence.

Then, "EEEEEPPPPP! Look at Kaoru and Tamaki! Aren't they so adorable together? Why are you two so sweaty? What were you doing? EEEEEEPPPP, I'm going to faint!"

As soon as one of our customers screams, the room erupts in squeals and our customers faint to the ground and wiggle around.

Hikaru stares at the pair of us, his face in shock.

Kyouya walks up to us, seeming unfazed by all that's going on, "Kaouru," he says to me, "You and Hikaru need to get on with your act; you read the scrip I presume." He states, pushing his glasses up.

I nod my head and release Tamaki's hand.

I slowly walk to the couch that my twin is sitting at and take a seat next to him.

To any untrained eye, it would seem as if my brother and I are sitting right next to each other; but I know differently.

There is the tiniest of gaps separating the two of us. This is a gap that had never been there before. I know it and I'm guessing Hikaru does, too. In fact, it may have even been him who made sure the gap is there.

Definitely not mine.

Because despite my anger at him, I still want to be as close to him as I can. I want our legs to be touching and our bodies to be in perfect symmetry; the way it should be.

But I went and ruined any possibility of that by telling Hikaru I hated him.

Of course it isn't his fault. He was only getting a blowjob from his girlfriend. How it is supposed to be, right?

Of course it is his fault that he is dating her and that he hasn't been paying attention to me.

I wonder how I can contradict myself so much…

"Hikaru, Kaoru, you seem upset with each other, is everything okay?" one of our customers asks.

Time to get in the act.

I pout my lip and look down, "No it's not, ladies." I begin. The girls gasp and lean in closer. "You see, last night I said something horrible to Hikaru, and I'm afraid he hasn't forgiven me." I say to them.

Why is it so easy for me to say this in an act?

Why can't I just talk to him about it one-on-one? Am I really so pathetic that I can only display my emotions to my brother while we are giving a play to our fans? How will he know it is real if the act we are doing is only meant to be fake?

I am truly one pitiful human being.

"Oh, Hikaru! Why won't you forgive you're brother? He's obviously sorry!" One of the girls screeches while the others nod their heads in agreement.

Hikaru turns to them, "Kaoru just doesn't realize that he doesn't need anyone but me." He says and grabs my arm roughly.

No one but me notices; I don't even think he notices how harsh he is being.

I look to the side and see Kyouya staring at us with a disapproving look. He knows we have completely abandoned the script he made us.

We are bringing our personal problems into this little charade.

"I believe that Hikaru doesn't realize how much I do need him!" I fight back.

I notice that neither of us is really talking to each other. We are talking to our fans instead.

"What Kaoru doesn't know is that he's being completely irrational and he isn't even acting himself anymore! He's become some complete stranger!" Hikaru yells.

The girls jump a little and a crowd begins to form around us, included in it Tamaki and Kyouya.

This stuns me. He's noticed I'm acting strange and hasn't done anything about it; hasn't talked to me and asked what's wrong?

Wouldn't the old, single Hikaru have done this?

"I think Hikaru is acting like the stranger." I mumble timidly.

Hikaru gives a squeeze to my arm and I wince.

"Kaoru," Hikaru says my name with complete and total loathing "has become someone I don't even know anymore! How can I call him my brother? My twin? What the hell is wrong with you, Kaoru?!" Hikaru yells at me, finally directing his words at me and not the girls, his voice shaking with emotion.

I'm doing it again.

I'm in that numb state like I was the day I found out Hikaru and Haruhi were dating.

"Hikaru, that's quite enough." Kyouya says.

Hikaru releases my arms and jumps up from the seat.

He pushes through the crowd of people and runs right out the door.

Haruhi comes straight up to me. I barely notice her.

"I'm so sorry, Kaoru. He doesn't mean it, really; he's just upset. I'll go talk to him." She says to me before running out after my brother.

Tamaki runs up to me and gets down on one knee. He puts a hand on my knee, "Kaoru?" he asks.

I look down at him.

His mouth is moving but there are no words coming out. Is he doing that on purpose or it is me who's not hearing anything?

But I don't really care.

Hikaru can't call me his brother anymore? He doesn't even recognize me as his twin?

What have I done?

What the hell have I done?!

Tamaki's eyebrows furrow and his eyes widen. He mouths one word over and over again, but I give no reaction.

He stands up and takes a hold of my shoulders. He shakes me vigorously over and over again.

I don't move. As I said before: numb.

Kyouya, Mori, and Honey rush up behind him.

Honey is crying and Mori is pushing worried looking girls away. Kyouya pulls out his cell phone.

I glance up for a moment and lock eyes with Tamaki.

I can't hear him, but by the look on his face, the tears in his eyes, and the movement of his mouth, I can tell he is shouting.

He's getting blurry now. So are all the people around him.

My head is spinning and pounding and I can't concentrate.

Where's Hikaru at? I want him back so bad.

I am his twin. I am his brother.

"Hikaru." I whisper.

And that's the last thing I remember before I slip into a black unconsciousness.

I'm not complaining, though. I'm grateful to be able to forget, even for a while.

To be continued.

Okay...even I'm like "YOU FUCKIN TARD HIKARU!" and I wrote this...So I'm guessing you guys are just as mad at him, right? Anyways, I hope you liked this chapter and if you did, please tell me what you think :) You're guys's reviews mean the world to me!