As promised, here's the newest oneshot. It took some time to edit into something somewhat presentable but finally it's here.

WARNINGS: please keep in mind that this oneshot is INTENSE and really, really explicit. It's M rated for a reason folks! Also, it deals with an uncomfortable situation for Alex and a lot of angst for Vict. BUT, rest asured, it has a happy ending (a reeeaaally happy ending, if you know what I mean). So, read at your own caution.

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Three: One day at a time

Victor angrily threw the refrigerator door shut and cursed when the hard metal caught his knee because he'd been standing too close for it to close properly, the sharp pain only managing to intensify the feeling of anxiety he'd had for the past hour or so.

"You okay?" Alex asked from where he was sprawled on the couch watching a football game Victor just wasn't focused enough to follow.

He mumbled a grunted reply and properly slammed the refrigerator door closed this time before walking to his bedroom and making sure everything was ready for the next day.

Victor knew it was stupid to get so worked up about forgetting to buy milk for tomorrow's breakfast but he'd spent days planning to make sure everything was set for his first day working at the garage and right now it was just too late on a Sunday night for anything to be open.

Once inside his room, he double checked his clothes and his bag so there wouldn't be any more surprises. The clock on his bedside table only made his heart caught tighter in his throat and his stomach to feel like it was free falling from a twenty-story building.

Why did he feel so agitated? Everyone got nervous on their first day at work, but this kind of nervous?

"Hey…" he jumped when he felt a hand travel from his shoulder to his chest where another one met it to gather him in an embrace from behind. He hand't even heard Alex following him into the room. "Are you okay?"

Victor leaned back into Alex's body and tried unsuccessfully to slow down his breathing and his racing heart, digging his fingers into the smaller boy's arms.

"What is it?" Alex asked, no doubt picking up on his agitation.

But Victor didn't answer, opting instead to pry his boyfriend's arms open and turn around in his embrace so that they were now facing each other.

Victor leaned in and kissed him. He needed to do something, anything, to keep his mind from running wild and if his body wanted to be worked up about something, he might as well just give it a reason to. He cupped a hand at the back of Alex's neck and pressed their lips together a few times before deepening the kiss. He didn't ask for silent permission before his tongue found its way into Alex's mouth and started hungrily wrestling with his. He figured if Alex didn't want to, then he would say something or step away.

He didn't.

Victor tangled his fingers in the golden locks and fisted his hand to prevent Alex from breaking the kiss even though he was starting to need some oxygen himself. Kissing Alex had always felt so intoxicating that he could never get enough of it.

Finally, he was the one who draw back from the kiss first if only to attack the blond's neck, leaving Alex, and himself, gasping for breath.

He kissed so fast and sucked so hard on the place he knew drove his boyfriend crazy, just below his jawline, that Alex was digging his nails into Victor's arms in no time.

Victor pushed Alex against the wardrobe and reclaimed his lips to engage him in another bruising kiss. Victor had been aroused so quickly during the first kiss that he was letting himself be guided by his desire and he desired to be inside Alex right now. The mere thought of thrusting in and out of that heavenly tight space made his pants feel even tighter.

Alex must have caught on to his intentions, not that his actions could've been mistaken with anything else, because he started pulling on his t-shirt until Victor lifted his arms and they had to break their kiss to get the garment off of him. Victor decided to take that as a sign of consent and went to remove the blond from his clothes as well.

He remembered a time when Alex felt so embarrassed at being naked in front of him that coaxing him out of his shirt was a slow process of reassurances and kind words. Right now though, words weren't needed as Alex disposed of his t-shirt and began fumbling with the buckle of his jeans. Victor had been wearing a pair of sweats, so he only had to shrug them down and step out of them.

Usually they took more time undressing each other, making the process part of their teasing. They liked to have fun when they were together, having passed that state of their relationship in which having sex was scary and new. Now they laughed and teased and tickled each other just to banter their way into nakedness before starting to seriously touch each other.

They weren't doing any of that now. They were skipping straight to the part where the moans couldn't be held back and their actions became a bit more desperate.

Victor was kissing Alex again, driving a thigh in between Alex's legs and swallowing the moan the blond let out when he started thrusting his hips against his. Both their cocks had been fully hard for a few minutes now despite not having been directly touched yet. Victor was driving his hips into Alex hard, needing the friction of their cocks rubbing together between their stomachs to alleviate some of the pressure he was feeling inside. It wasn't enough.

Without warning, he pulled Alex away from the wardrobe and guided him towards the bed, taking his place right between his legs while they continued to kiss.

Normally, Victor wouldn't be so rough while handling him, having pushed Alex into the bed a little harder that necessary and then yanking his body upper towards the pillows instead of asking him to move on his own, but the agitation he'd been feeling earlier had turned into some kind of desperation and pent up energy that he just didn't know what to do with. He growled in frustration and attacked Alex's neck again with his mouth. He figured if Alex was uncomfortable with how fast things were going tonight, he would've said something by now.

Alex hissed when Victor's mouth went from his neck to sucking on his nipples, something Victor knew turned him on as quickly as flicking a switch. He arched his back and let out a whimper when Victor bit one and then licked the sting away. Alex was already trembling beneath him. Victor loved the way Alex just let himself open and vulnerable for him. He would moan and groan and gasp when prodded in all the right places, bucking his hips when he felt he needed to and arching his back when he felt that Victor's ministrations were driving him crazy. He'd once confessed to Victor how desperate his touch could make him feel. A good kind of desperate, he'd said.

Remembering those words had Victor spurting into action again and releasing his boyfriend's nipples to go straight to his so far untouched cock. Again, he didn't tease or work his way down with gentle kisses and small licks. Once he got there, he took Alex into his mouth and swallowed all the way down to the base.

"Holy fffff–!" Alex gasped and jumped off the bed before dropping back down and digging the back of his head into the pillow. He tried to take a hold of Victor's hair but Victor offered him his hands instead, intertwining their fingers and keeping Alex's hands away.

He made quick work of his boyfriend. He would bob his head up until just the head was inside his mouth and he would lap vigorously at it with his tongue until Alex was writhing and then he would take him whole back into his mouth, hollowing his cheeks and humming when he felt his nose diving into the blond pubic hairs at the lowest part of his stomach.

Alex groaned and bucked his hips, squeezing Vict's hands almost painfuly when he repeated the process until he felt the blond was breathless enough to continue.

Victor had been ignoring his own aching hard on but he couldn't deny how much hearing Alex panting for breath turned him on. Instead of making Alex desperate for his touch, he'd made himself desperate for the warm place that Alex reserved only for him and he didn't want to wait any longer.

He released his boyfriend's cock with a loud pop, and the blond's hands, also released from their hold, hovered over himself as if too sensitive to allow another touch for the moment.

Victor could still hear Alex panting as he disentangled himself from him and he could feel his eyes following his movements as he fished the bottle of lube and a condom from the drawer on his nightstand.

Victor's hands were trembling when he rolled the condom down his length and he avoided meeting Alex's eyes after he refused the other boy's offer to put in on for him. Over time, Alex had begun to develop more self confidence when they were in bed together and he went from avoiding the task of putting the condom on him to be the one who did it every time. So maybe it was a testament to how out of sorts Victor felt today that he'd decided to skip that part of their routine as well.

Alex didn't insist though, just watching him through the quick process of lubing himsef up in order to proceed.

When he felt he was ready, Victor climbed on top of the blond and kissed him until they were breathless once again. He didn't know why it was, but the mere thought of a breathless Alex always, always, got to him. Victor trapped Alex's hands above his head while they frotted against each other, both boys moaning into each other's mouth until Alex was trembling again and Victor just couldn't keep waiting.

He let go of the blond's hands and reached down to stroke his boyfriend a few more times before grabbing the back of his left knee and pulling the leg up to rest over his shoulder. He heard Alex's quick intake of breath and hurried to line himself up into his entrance.

He made sure again to be lubricated enough before pushing his way in.

Victor had one arm at the side of Alex's leg and he placed the other one at the back of the blond's neck, hiding his own face into the crook of his neck and letting out an almost sinful moan when he felt the tight heat of Alex's hole surrounding him. Alex hugged himself closer to him and dug his nails sharply into his back.

Victor had made sure to enter slowly, paying only half of his mind to the fact it had been harder than usual to get past every barrier inside the blond, but he didn't wait for Alex to adjust to the intrusion like he always did, instead slipping half way out before entering again slightly faster than the first time.

He groaned into the other's boy neck because the pressure on his cock felt so wonderfuly right that the general restlessness he'd been feeling earlier had finally managed to subside some to give his body space to be satysfied. He pulled out of his boyfriend again and thrusted back in as deep as he could go.

Victor wasn't holding out on his sounds of pleasure, not that he ever did, but he frowned when he noticed a rather important part of his arousal wasn't present. Alex hadn't made a sound for a while. Was he doing something wrong? Was he not giving his boyfriend enough pleasure? Victor placed his mouth under Alex's jawline and sucked on the spot he was so sensitive about. Maybe that would help him enjoy himself more.

Victor kept thrusting in and out of Alex, now determined to find that elusive spot inside of him that he was sure would make his boyfriend see stars, and he usually would've found it by now, except Alex wasn't giving any indication of his success.

Frustrated at himself, Victor drove himself harder into the blond, angling his hips just right at the last minute, sure he would finally hit it because that's what he always did when he found it.

When Alex finally made a sound, it was because a whimper tore out of his mouth. Victor smiled triumphantly and buried himself deep into him again but the sound that followed made him freeze on the spot.

A sob.

Victor stilled his movements and breathed heavily on top of Alex who was trembling underneath him to the point of shaking.

Another sob tore free from his boyfriend and that's when he noticed the really sharp grip of the fingers on his shoulders.

"Alex?" the older boy propped himself up with his arms to look at his boyfriend and what he saw made his stomach drop.

Alex had his head turned to the side with a frown and a pained expression on his face. He was biting his lower lip as if to keep himself from crying out and tears were threatening to spill from his eyes. Suddenly, Victor's rapid breathing had nothing to do with his arousal but with a wave if fear taking a hold of his heart.

"A-Alex. I'm gonna pull out, okay?" the blond didn't speak but nodded his head marginally.

Victor steeled himself and pulled slowly out of him, only now just realizing exactly how tight Alex was around him. Alex's muscles clenched even tighter and the head of his cock caught at the entrance, making Alex hiss and clech his eyes shut.

What he saw painting the condom made his insides boil.

"You're bleeding" he stated in disbelief as if saying it out loud would somehow make sense of it.

Alex's entrance was twitching in time with his trembling body and he was fisting the sheets underneath him now that he didn't have Victor to hold on to.

Victor's mind sharpened at the sight of his boyfriend's pain and that's when he remembered that in his restless state he hadn't taken the time to prepare Alex before entering him. He hadn't stretched him and he hadn't even given him time to adjust to his member before he'd rammed himself brutally inside thinking he wasn't doing enough to get him off. He'd been so rough.

Victor glanced at the red still painting the condom and he quickly took it off. His movements panicked and rushed. He just wanted to get the reminder of his carelessness away from himself.

He looked at Alex, who had lost some of the tension in his face but not the tightness of his lips. Victor could now notice that the blond had almost cut into his lower lip with how hard he'd bitten down.

He couldn't believe he hadn't stopped sooner.

"You're supposed to tell me if it hurts" he said, a little harsher than intended. He'd been feeling so anxious and stressed that day that he couldn't even control the way he spoke to his hurting boyfriend.

The blond didn't answer. He wiped at the unshead tears in his eyes and slowly sat up, wincing at the movement.

"I'm fine" he finally said with a strained voice and the fact he'd used the mechanical answer he gave whenever he wasn't fine, made Victor lose the little control he'd managed to regain over his raging emotions.

"No, you're not! You're fucking bleeding!" the blond wasn't looking at him. Victor snarled at himself and jumped off the bed to pace around the room. If he could, he would've driven a fist to the wall but thankfully he was smart enough to know the action would only spook his boyfriend. If only his mouth could have the same consideration. "Don't ever let me get like that with you again" he spat, running a hand through his hair in the hopes to calm down some.

"I'm sorry" the blond whispered and suddenly all fight left him. He stared unbelievingly at Alex who was looking at him with such a vulnerable expression Victor wasn't sure he could hold his gaze any longer.

"You're—" he was shocked into silence. If anything, he was the one who should be apologizing, not Alex. So on top of hurting him, he'd managed to make him feel responsible for it too. Way to go, asshole.

He approached the bed slowly and sat next to him. He offered a hand for Alex to take and though for a moment he feared the blond would reject him, he reached out and took a hold of his hand too.

"Let's go" Victor said and gently coaxed him to stand up.

"Where?" Alex asked even as he followed Victor's lead and stood up from the bed. He tried to hide the wince it caused but Victor saw it before he could.

"Let's get you cleaned up"

Alex followed him wordlessly into the bathroom.

The blond didn't say anything else as Victor turned on the shower and waited for the temperature of the water to be pleasantly warm before taking Alex's hand again and guiding him inside.

He was glad to notice Alex wasn't shying away from his touch but the uncertain expression on his face made the guilt eating him inside spike to uncharted levels.

They stepped directly under the spray of the shower and despite the warm water and the steam beginning to suround them, Alex shivered.

It was the blond who finally made eye contact with him again and got on his tiptoes to place a kiss on his cheek and whisper in his ear that he was okay before enveloping Victor in a hug. Neither of them were turned on anymore, so Victor's body didn't tingle with the contact. Instead, he settled with running a hand up and down the blond's back in a soothing manner.

He couldn't believe he'd been so caught up in his own needs earlier that he'd allowed himself to be so rough that he made his boyfriend bleed.

He knew they weren't always so gentle when they were together, but Victor had never been anything other than careful except for the few times Alex had actually asked for it. But to have thrown himself at him like that and taking him by surprise was simply unforgivable.

Victor sighed into Alex's shoulder and stepped away from the hug.

"Come on" he instructed. "Bend over a bit"

Alex complied when he explained what he would do to clean him up from the blood inside him. Victor understood there wasn't even that much blood when he'd pulled out of him, but even the smallest of traces was just too much and it weighted heavily on his conscience.

The shower wasn't really big but it allowed Alex to lean his arm on the wall and rest his forehead on it while bending at the waist and sticking his lower half out under the water. Victor placed loving kisses on his back until he was kneeling behind Alex and carressed his cheeks a few times. He ran a finger up and down Alex's crack, the touch pretending to be nothing more than a soothing gesture. He picked up the soap and coated his hand before washing the blond's backside of any trace of lube and blood on the outside.

He knew there wasn't much he could do for the damage inside, but he would try to clean it as best as he could. Making sure his fingers were free of any soap residues, he warned Alex before gently and ever so slowly inserting a finger inside. A few rubs of his finger with clean water should do the trick.

Victor's heart clenched when Alex let out a hiss and clamped his muscles around the invasion so tightly he could barely pull his finger out again to rinse it. When he did it a second time, Victor's eyes burned at the resistance Alex's body was showing on its own. He'd had to work so hard to gain Alex's trust enough for the blond to allow someone else to touch him or even just see him after what that horrible man had done to him. But after their first time, Alex's body had never shown signs of rejection before. Not like this. Not like the way his hole was clamping shut to not even allow one finger to slide smoothly inside. So he kissed one of his boyfriend's cheeks and withdrew his finger gently, not having the heart to repeat the process again. He guessed those two tries would have to be enough to acomplish his goal.

He didn't get up immediately though.

Down there, on his knees, with Alex still trusting him enough to let him care for him after what he'd done, Victor felt the anxiety creeping back on him and his senses tingled with how vulnerable a position he found himself in.

He'd hurt Alex. He'd hurt Alex in a way he'd sworn he'd never do. And Alex was still there, still with him and he'd even apologized because Victor had been so insensitive to yell at him afterwards. He was never going to forgive himself for this. He'd hurt Alex.

When the first sob broke through, he hadn't even realized he'd ended up sitting on the shower floor, water raining down from above and his head hiding right next to Alex's leg. His eyes were screwed shut and he gasped through the next sob that tore through his frame. He felt Alex quickly turning around and kneeling in front of him.

"I'm s-sorry" he managed in between hiccups. "I'm s-so sorry"

"It's okay" Alex shushed and gathered him in a bone crushing hug. Victor clinged desperately to him and didn't do anything to stalve his heartbreaking sobs. He cried into the blond's shoulder while he held him and assured him that he was fine, his tears mixing with the water raining down on them both. Victor shook his head at every word Alex spoke.

"I would never— I didn't— I'm so sorry. Please, I'm... pl-please" he broke down crying even harder, feeling like he was the worst person in the universe and that he didn't deserve Alex's forgiveness even when he was openly begging for it. Alex rocked him in his arms.

"I promise, I'm okay. Please calm down"

Victor didn't, in fact, calm down. He continued to cry into his boyfriend's shoulder until there was nothing else to give and his body started to ache from its cramped position on the floor.

By then, Alex seemed to have recorved from his own ordeal enough to take control of the situation. He reached up and turned off the water before coaxing Victor's head out of its hiding place to be able to look into his eyes.

"Listen, I admit it wasn't great but I could've stopped you and I chose not to. So don't beat yourself up about it" but when Victor still couldn't say anything other than sorry, Alex pecked him softly on the lips. "I'm okay now, please believe that"

Victor had no choice but to nod his head and wipe at his eyes. Alex stood and brought him up with him. The blond ran his thumb in circles over Victor's cheek and gave him another peck on the lips before guiding him out of the showers.

They dried themselves in silence, Victor occasionally stealing glances at Alex to make sure the other boy wasn't in fact about to walk out on him in anger. When they finished, they walked together back to the bedroom.

Naked as they were, they climbed back on the bed, laying on their side facing each other. For the first time that night, Victor was able to hold Alex's gaze without looking away, hoping to convey how sorry he was about what he had done. Alex stared back.

The blond resumed the caresses on his cheek and Victor sighed contently into his touch, a stilling calm settling over him for the first time in hours, in days even. He couldn't help but be completely in awe of the boy in front of him.

"Why did you let me do it?" he asked in a whisper.

"I didn't care about the pain as long as I could help you"

"What do you mean help me?" the raw and honest look Alex gave him in that moment was enough to have him clinging to every word he said.

"When someone holds you against your will, you spend some time feeling trapped still even after you're freed" Victor held his breath. Alex was speaking about his own experience, but he had nailed it spot on about how he'd felt after his kidnapping... how he still felt about it. "I understand the need to feel like you have control again. I thought I would help you if I just let you have it"

Victor released the breath he'd been holding and stared back at Alex with worship in his eyes. He grasped the blond's free hand in his own. Alex had been willing to suffer through his rough treatment just to make him feel safe and in control of the situation. He didn't think he was capable of loving the boy in front of him more than he already did. He brought Alex's hand to his lips and kissed it

"Not like this... not with you"

Alex smiled and leaned forward to plant a small kiss on his lips. After a while, Victor spoke again.

"How did you do it? Get control back?"

Alex shrugged. "I fell into a routine. I trained. A lot. Ben let me pick what we'd have for every meal of the day for like two months. Seems stupid, but as long as it was my choice..."

"Would you train me?" at the blond's confused frown, Victor added to explain. "You've taught me some self defense but that wasn't enough to avoid getting kidnapped"

"Vict, they held a gun to you. There was nothing you could've done"

"Exactly. There was nothing I knew how to do, so I just went with them" he argued, begging Alex with his eyes to accept his request. If it had worked for the blond, why couldn't it work for him too?

"I'll teach you more if you want" he finally conceeded and Victor let out a relieved smile. He touched their foreheads together.

"I'm sorry about what I did. I promise it won't happen again. I don't... I don't think I was in control at all. In fact, it just felt like the other way around" for a sickening moment, Victor thought he sounded just like his uncle whenever he'd been beaten by him, acting all apologetic and promising to never lay a hand on him again. But he shook his head and wiped the thought from his mind. He would never be that way with Alex.

Instead of answering right away, Alex seemed deep in thought until his eyes sharpened when he apparently came to a decision. He lifted the hand Victor was holding and guided it between his legs.

"Control it" he said, to which Victor stared at in confusion.

"What?"

The other boy repositioned himself so he was on his back facing the ceiling with Victor's hand still held above his own crotch. "This is a thing, right? Cum control? Do it with me"

Victor's eyes widened and his fingers twitched in Alex's hold. "Why?" He whispered, propping himself up on his right elbow to stare down at Alex.

"Learning to fight for real takes time and I know you've been feeling restless for a while. I want to help you feel safe and in control inside our bedroom just like you did for me when I needed it" Victor's heart stuttered when Alex referred to his room as theirs. The blond shook Victor's hand on top of his member before letting go.

"But after what I just did..."

"I was pretty turned on before" was all Alex said and he wriggled his hips a little when Victor was still too stunned to move. "I trust you"

"Okay" Victor said around a swallow and he got more comfortable to perform the task at hand.

He had ruined their time together earlier, so he was determined to make this as good for Alex as possible even though the other boy was doing this for him.

Victor knew enough about cum control to know he was supposed to drive Alex to the brink of orgasm just to leave him on edge. When he'd been growing up and feeling experimental with himself, he'd played with edging himself to the point he knew what it felt like to be denied an orgasm. He'd also ruined plenty in his first tries. Thinking about doing that to someone else, controling the other person's pleasure and not just anyone, but Alex, the person he loved and knew every one of his tells and presure points, was making excitement spark deep within him.

He met Alex's determined eyes and kissed him before attempting to start.

"If you want me to stop or if you feel like it's too much, you have to promise you'll tell me" Alex nodded woth earnest, lips already parted with anticipation.

"I promise" he breathed and Victor licked his lips at the sight. The blond was really into the whole thing so Victor wasn't going to disappoint him.

He started out with slow gentle strokes that had Alex sighing and closing his eyes, relaxing deeper into the mattress. Victor leaned down to kiss his chest, surrounding his left nipple with small kisses.

It was a slow process. Victor wanted to drag it out in contrast to how fast he'd initiated things earlier. He stopped his ministrations to pour a small amout of lube into his hand, just enough to make the slide a little smoothier while he continued to shower his boyfriend's body with kisses.

When he trapped the nipple in his mouth and ran his tongue repeatedly over it, Alex moaned softly and arched his back off the bed. The blond snaked his arm under Victor and clutched at the skin on his back. He took advantage of the position by dropping some of his weight into it and trapping Alex's arm underneath him.

He managed to work Alex's cock to a full erection and every time his thumb circled its head, Alex bucked his hips and moaned into the air. Those were the sounds Victor had missed during their first go and now that he had them, he could feel his own arousal sparking up again.

Alex had always been sensitive. He'd learned to see that as an advantage instead of a problem during the couple of years they'd been together, so that's why Victor knew it wouldn't take much to get him where he wanted to take him.

In fact, Victor released his cock and kept his hand away long enough for a frown to appear on the blond's forehead. He opened his eyes and their eyes locked. Victor couldn't describe even if he tried the way his body reacted to the lust behind Alex's eyes. He began to rub his own erection leisurely against the side of Alex's leg.

When he took a hold of him again, Alex gasped and twitched on the bed, releasing a sigh when the movement of his hand was renewed.

"Is this okay?" Victor asked.

"Yeah"

Victor felt emboldened. He quickened the pace, adding a squeeze at the end if his stroke that had Alex openly moaning. Victor wanted to hear that again. He repeated the motion several times until Alex's pants filled the room and then he abruptly let him go.

Alex whined and tried to curl in on himself but his trapped arm prevented it. Victor rubbed himself harder against him at the sight.

The next time he touched him, Victor avoided Alex's cock entirely. He teased the skin around it, running his fingertips up and down his abdomen, stopping just short of brushing the head of his cock before bringing his hand up and playing with his sensitive nipples. He had Alex writhing under his care.

When he decided to pay attention to where he was sure Alex wanted him to, he began by massaging his balls and lightly tapping them, which made Alex jump and inhale in pleasure. By the time he touched his member again, Alex actually whimpered in relief.

His relief was short lived though when Victor set a punishing pace and pumped him with his closed fist half a dozen times before letting go completely again. Alex complained loudly and brought his free hand down to try and finish the job himself, except Victor prevented it by keeping his hand away.

"Sh‐shit. I was so close" he said between heavy breaths, unable to keep his hips still as he searched for some friction.

"Are you okay?" Victor asked. He didn't care how much control Alex wanted him to have, he wouldn't keep going unless he wanted him to.

"Yes, yes. I'm good. Do it again" he sounded desperate and God if that wasn't something Victor liked to hear in his voice.

Victor dropped the rest of his weight into the bed, making sure he wouldn't hurt Alex's arm in the process and used his free hand to hold Alex's other wrist above his head, that way the blond wouldn't try to sneak a touch from himself again. The thought of having a hold of both Alex's arms sent a shiver down his spine. He waited a few minutes to see if Alex was uncomfortable with the hold but, if anything, his eyes seemed to darken even more.

Victor silently cursed at the sight. He was holding a bothered Alex, almost trapping him under his body, and the blond couldn't stop moving. He was panting and his parted lips were so inviting that Victor spent the next several minutes kissing the life out of them. Alex chased his lips when he ended the kiss but forgot all about it when his cock was grasped again.

This time Victor went slow. He moved his hand up and down Alex's length so excruciatingly slowly that the blond tried to tug his arm free so hard Victor worried he'd leave bruises behind, not that the blond seemed to mind much.

He worked his boyfriend up to the brink of orgasm again right before stilling his hand at the base. This time Alex dowright growled in frustration.

"Vict" he whined.

"Tell me"

Victor wanted Alex to tell him if he was done, if he didn't want Victor to keep touching him anymore, so he gave him some time to calm down. The blond's breathing went from erratical to just slightly labored but he didn't say anything else. He loosened his muscles and turned his head back to Victor, searching for his lips.

Victor complied and kissed him until Alex started moving his hips again. This time Victor let him just thrust into his hand at his own rhythm. Victor began to move his body as well. They were breathing heavily into each other's mouth, both too close to the oh so wanted release that Victor almost forgot he was supposed to stop Alex from getting there. When he took his hand away from him, Alex made a sound that was dangerously close to a sob.

"No" he complained, straining again to free himself. Victor didn't think he could keep torturing him much longer, his own release asking to be let out. But he would take his cues from Alex. If the other boy wanted to continue, he would. But Alex was breathing way too fast now, the fingers on his back digging sharply into it.

Victor kissed his forehead. "Are you okay?"

Alex was shaking his head but Victor couldn't be sure if it was denial or just him trashing his head around the place. Finally, between breaths, Alex spoke. "Don't... don't stop next time. Please. I need to... please"

Fuck.

Alex never, ever begged.

Victor groaned and attacked his neck while putting his hand back on Alex's cock. He didn't tease. Didn't go terribly fast or slow. He just moved steadily up and down with a squeeze at the end of the stroke until Alex was once more writhing in his grasp. His breathing was picking up again and his moans were uncontrollable.

"Please don't stop, please don't stop, please please please" Victor had no intention of stopping.

At the fourth stroke, Alex's breath hitched and he shut his eyes closed, opening his mouth in a silent cry that turned into a clenched-teeth groan as spurts of cum began to shoot from his member. He was shaking while Victor helped him ride his orgasm with with slow thrusts of his hand. He captured Alex's lips in a breathtaking kiss until he felt Alex shooting another small dose of cum into his stomach.

His own orgasm hit him unexpectedly. He'd been so focused on giving his boyfriend the relief he so desperately needed and he'd ended so caught up in his reaction to it that he forgot he'd been rubbing against the blond's leg while doing so. He added to the mess on Alex's skin and helped himself ride out the bliss by capturing Alex's mouth in a kiss again.

It wasn't a second later when Alex hissed and twitched wildly at his continued touch.

"S-s-stop" he said around a fit of broken giggles. "It's too much. Too much!"

Victor released him immediately and Alex slumped back with another laugh.

Victor let go of his wrist and moved to free his other arm, but Alex merely dropped them uselessly at his side. When their breathings had somewhat returned to normal, Victor gazed at his boyfriend with some apprehension in his eyes.

"You okay? Did you like it?" it took the blond some time to answer due to his still labored breathing.

"Like it? I don't think... I've ever... cum that hard in my life" he said around lungfuls of breath, clearly satysfied and Victor let out a sigh. "Do you feel better now?"

Victor contemplated his answer. He felt blissed out of his mind, sure, but did he still feel guilty about his rough treatment earlier? Definitely. Did he feel back in control of his life? Not entirely. He supposed an extremely erotic round of intimacy with his boyfriend wasn't going to miraculously solve anything, but he guessed it hadn't hurt either.

"I love you" he opted to answer instead. "More than anything. I love you"

"I love you too"

Alex let the matter drop for now, probably too blissed out himself to insist they keep talking about it.

Victor went through the motions of cleaning them up, Alex being too tired and unsteady to even sit up in bed. But while he was doing so, also taking the time to double check his backpack for tomorrow, again, he realized he didn't feel anxious anymore about what the next day might bring. He felt confident enough that he could at least survive the next day in a new and unknown environment just long enough to come back home to Alex, the person who just managed to make everything that much better. No matter how things went down tomorrow, as long as Alex was waiting for him at the end of the day, then he could take on the world, one day at a time.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .

I have to admit, this one was a tough one to get out, but this is only the beginning of a long list of oneshots I have planned for this series.

Remember that I take requests so feel free to leave a review or a PM asking for what you'd like to see happening in upcoming chapters.

I want to thank everyone who's read and reviewed this story, for all your kind words and encouragement and also for sticking up with me through the long waits and all the drama and angst of my stories. Fanfiction is a great way to deal with feelings so thank you for letting me use this space to express myself through my writing. Your guys are the best.

I guess I'll see you in the next oneshot! —R.