Oh goodness you guys, I can't apologize enough! It's been soooo long since I've updated and I feel absolutely horrible. I wish I could tell you all that's been going on. Let's just say I have been incredibly depressed for several months and couldn't bring myself to do what I love. But I did it! I finished the next chapter that I've been working on forever!

A quick recap: Last chapter, Kaoru broke his arm and now Hikaru is taking care of him, showing his affection in the bathtub where he cleaned his crippled brother. Is he trying to redeem himself? Making up for his mistakes and mistreatment of his poor twin? But could he make up for saying that he doesn't even know who Kaoru is anymore?

Please, enjoy! I think it's pretty decent! *Warning* One will experience many a feels.

When I wake up, the first thing I realize is that I am in my bed alone.

Before I can even question to where Hikaru went, his voice breaks through the silence.

"Good-morning, Kaoru!" he says cheerfully from a chair that is seated next to my bed.

I look at him with wide eyes, my voice box still seeming to be broken whenever I am in his presence.

I eye him carefully and see that there is a tray sitting on his lap. On the tray is a tall cup of orange juice, scrambled eggs, two pieces of toast, and three sausage links.

I also notice that there is a rather large sized pill.

I look back up into his eyes and he smiles.

"I know it's not much, but I made it myself. I figured that the cooks couldn't make you food with love in it like I can." He tells me.

Love?

Despite myself, my heartbeat quickens.

He hasn't said he loves me in ages. I can't even remember the last time he said it to me! He's trying so hard…

When I don't say anything, he stands up.

"Sit up, Kaoru. I'm going to set this in your lap so you can eat it." He explains to me.

I gently push myself up. He picks up a pillow and rests it behind my head so that I am comfortable, and then sets the tray on my lap.

After this, he moves to the end of my bed and crawls on.

He sits Indian style and watches me; waiting for me to eat something.

With my good hand, I pick up the fork that lies on the tray and stare down at the food.

It all looks repulsive and I really don't want to eat any of it. Even now that Hikaru has noticed how sickly I am. I guess I've just sort of become accustomed to not eating.

I look up to Hikaru and am going to tell him that I don't want to eat, but when I open my mouth, all that comes out is a pathetic little squeak.

It seems to be enough for him, though.

"I know you don't want to eat, Kaoru, but you have to. If you don't, you're never going to get better." He thinks for a moment before adding, "You don't have to eat it all; just a few bites would be okay. We'll start out slow." He smiles reassuringly.

I notice he hasn't said anything about the pill yet.

I sigh and look down at the food once more.

I close my eyes and plunge the fork into the scrambled eggs.

I bring the fork up to my mouth and weakly separate my lips. Then I stuff the food into my mouth and chew slowly.

It doesn't taste too horrible, but it doesn't taste good, either.

I guess that's because I haven't eaten food in so long, though. I'm sure I would have thought it delicious a while ago.

After swallowing, I open my eyes. I see that Hikaru is beaming; absolutely ecstatic.

I set down the fork and pick up a piece of toast. I nibble on the sides until a good about is gone. After this, I set it down and eat one piece of the sausage.

Finally, I take a sip of orange juice and pick up the pill.

I eye it, lift an eyebrow, and look at Hikaru.

I know what it is, but I'm wondering what Hikaru will tell me it is. Will he lie to me like Dr. Hiromi told him he should?

I really hope he doesn't. It would be a lot easier if he just told me the truth.

Hikaru frowns and looks down at the bed. He plays with the covers.

"I'm supposed to tell you that that pill your holding is for pain. But I'm not going to lie to you, Kaoru. It's for depression."

He looks back up at me and I see that all the color in his face has drained.

"Dr. Hiromi told me that you're showing signs of depression. She says these pills will help you get better. I shouldn't be telling you this, but I guess I thought there'd be a better chance of you taking it if I told you the truth." He says quietly.

I'm shocked.

I truly had not expected this from my twin.

But since he told me the truth; since he took a chance and told me the real reason for this pill, I'm going to take it.

I place the pill on my tongue and pick up the glass of orange juice.

I take a sip and it goes down my throat, along with the pill.

I set the glass of juice down and slightly push the tray with my left hand.

Hikaru realizes what I'm trying to say and nods his head.

"Alright, Kaoru, if that's all you want to eat right now, that's fine with me. I'm happy that you even had any of it." He chuckles, "If our places were switched, you'd probably have a lot more trouble getting me to eat. I guess I'm a bit stubborn."

I get the feeling that Hikaru is talking to himself and not really me. He's been doing a lot of that lately.

I wonder why.

He gets up from the bed and comes around to take my tray. He puts it on my side table and calls for a maid, who takes it away.

For a few moments, he shuffles his feet awkwardly and I stare down at my covers.

Then, finally, he speaks, "Tono's coming over later. He called earlier and he seemed really worried about you. I get the feeling he doesn't trust me to look after you. I guess I can see why he thinks that." He sighs then continues, "Anyways, he should be here in about an hour; I figured we could do something until then. Watch a movie maybe?" he asks.

Wait a moment.

Hikaru is actually letting Tamaki come over even though he doesn't approve of the two of us?

And even more, he wants to do something with me? The two of us together? No Haruhi?

I eagerly nod my head and he smiles.

"Great! I have a few picked out, you can take your choice."

He lays out five of my favorite movies on the bed and I settle on a classic: The Lion King.

Neither of us say anything through the amount of movie we actually get done.

But Hikaru does huddle up to me, making me tense up at our closeness.

Either he doesn't notice how tense I am, or he just spares me the embarrassment of saying anything.

After about an hour of the movie, there is a knock on the room's door.

Hikaru pauses the Lion King and jumps up.

"Hello, Tono, please come in." Hikaru greets our guest.

My face brightens up when I see Tamaki, and his does as well.

He runs up to me and gives me a hug.

He pulls away and runs his fingers through my hair, "Oh, Kaoru, how are you, mon amour? I didn't get any sleep last night! I was so worried about you. I would have come over, but I figured you would be asleep by the time I had arrived."

I laugh lightly, "Don't worry, Tamaki, I'm fine. It's just nice to see your face again." I say quietly to him.

Tamaki beams, "Likewise, Kaoru, likewise."

His face suddenly becomes serious.

He turns to my brother, who is standing by the door, watching us with his arms crossed. I get the feeling he is a little upset that I actually talked to Tamaki, yet I still haven't said a word to him.

"Is he treating you well? I can take you home with me, if you'd like." He whispers to me, eyes still fixed on my twin.

I shake my head, "Hikaru is being fine." I tell him, matching his voice level.

Tamaki turns back to me, "I volunteered to take you home so I could be your soul caretaker. I would have, too, but then your brother volunteered. Since he's your family, he won over me." Tamaki tells me, a sad hitch to his voice.

I place my good hand on his shoulder, "Don't worry, Tamaki. Hikaru is treating me fine and I will be able to stay at your house soon enough." I assure him.

Hikaru is going to need his alone time sometime and Tamaki is second in line to take care of me.

Tamaki nods his head, "Alright, but just call me if you need anything. I won't hesitate." He tells me. He is obviously very protective of me.

I smile at him, "That sounds good."

Tamaki leans over and places a kiss on my forehead. I close my eyes and sigh blissfully.

Hikaru coughs awkwardly and Tamaki and I separate.

Tamaki walks up to my brother, "If you hurt him in any way, you'll be hearing from me. I will take him away in a heartbeat." He warns my brother sternly.

I expect Hikaru to fight back. To tell my protector that he would never hurt me.

But Hikaru only looks at the ground and nods slowly.

This seems to please Tamaki and he turns back to me, "I have to go now, Kaoru, but I'll see you soon. Come back to school as soon as you can; we'll all be waiting." He says in a more merry tone.

With that, he shoulders past Hikaru and leaves my room, closing the door lightly behind him.

I look over at Hikaru and see a sad expression on his face.

He walks over to me, "Would you like to finish the movie?" he asks me.

I shake my head and scoot back into the bed I am sitting in.

When I reach my pillow, I lie down and attempt to pull the covers over me.

But I'm unsuccessful due to this stupid cast I have on.

I throw down the covers and let out an aggregated groan.

Hikaru hurries to my rescue and pulls the covers over me.

He leans over and places a kiss on my forehead, then crawls into the empty spot next to me.

I close my eyes.

I feel so weak and tired all the time. The food I ate is churning violently in my stomach and I know that my body is fighting to keep it down.

I groan lightly at the sickness I feel in my stomach.

Immediately I feel arms gently wrap around me and hesitantly pull me closer into a warm, familiar body.

"It will all be okay; everything will be okay and go back to normal." Hikaru whispers.

Again, I'm not exactly sure if he's saying this to me, or himself.

XX

Hikaru shuffles his feet awkwardly and knocks on the door in front of him.

He turns to me and ruffles his hair, "I don't feel comfortable doing this, Kaoru." He tells me with a hitch to his voice.

I turn to him and widen my eyes, shrugging my shoulders in a, "oh well" kind of way.

He sighs and nods his head, understanding what I mean.

I suppose these days we've had together have begun to affect him and allow him to start reading me again.

Then again, with no separation at all for the whole while I've had my cast on is sure to build up some kind of broken connection.

It's a few days after Tamaki came to visit me, and I'm currently standing at said person's door.

I'd woken up to Hikaru sitting cross-legged at the edge of my, recently our, bed, staring into his lap whilst twiddling his fingers, a deep look of thought on his face as his eyebrows creased.

I'd seen that look before. He had it whenever he had decided upon a tough decision, and was going to act upon it, no matter how frightened he was to do so.

I moved slightly, and the sound of my cast must have snapped my twin out of his trance because his head snapped up and he said, "Kaoru!"

After that, he began a long rant, with no breaths in-between his words, about how he had come upon a decision and he had to go out for a few hours. He told me he had to drop me off at one of my back up care-takers house.

To his disappointment, he had added "and Tono is first on the list."

And with that, we were taken to the Suhos' estate, where we currently were waiting for the door to be opened.

I look straight at the door, ignoring the worried side glances Hikaru keeps taking at me.

Finally, when I think I would no longer be able to take the awkwardness of the situation, the door opens and Tamaki spreads out his arms to embrace me.

"Ah finally! I can take care of my favorite son!" he says, snorting slightly after the word son.

No surprise.

A son and his father don't really have impulsive sexual tendencies in closets.

Tamaki lets go of me and looks to Hikaru, who is staring at him sternly, is stare never wavering.

"You take care of him, Tono, I don't want anything happening to him." My brother tells my care taker haughtily.

Tono scowls and pust his hands on his hips, "I could say the same to you. I'm not the one to worry about."

I cough into my hand, not ready for the two to get in a fight.

Hikaru turns around at this, ready to head towards the limo we had come in.

"I'll be back for you in a few hours, Kaoru. Call me if anything happens."

And with that, Hikaru struts off and Tamaki closes the door.

He sighs and gets his composure back as he turns to me.

He smiles brightly and grabs my good hand gently, yet sternly.

"Come on, Kaoru, we can go to my room!" he tells me excitedly as he starts pulling me, at a completely safe speed, up the stairs and to his room.

We enter his room and he lets go of my hand. He walks over to his bed and plops down on it, patting at a spot next to him in a gesture for me to come.

With no hesitation, I walk over to the bed and sit down next to him, our legs touching as I rest my head on his shoulder.

Everything feels so peaceful with him.

Tamaki wraps an arm around me.

He kisses my forehead gently, then moves his hand up to my chin and cups it, turning my face up towards him.

He brushes the hair out of my eyes and leans in to kiss me.

This kiss is better than the one in the closet.

It isn't fast and hard; it is soft and thought out.

My heartbeat quickens as the kiss gets slightly more passionate, Tamaki's tongue searching my mouth as if he can't quite discover every single inch.

When my breathing starts to get heavy, Tamaki slowly removes his tongue and departs my lips with a soft plopping noise.

I bite my lip as he looks into my eyes.

I sigh blissfully and curl up closer to him.

"Kaoru," he says sweetly, "I think there's something we need to talk about."

I nod, knowing exactly where he is heading with this.

My lover leans down and kisses my neck softly, his teeth gently gliding against it.

"After that day in the closet, before your accident." He announces into the nape of my neck before placing another kiss on it.

I crane my neck to offer him more skin.

"We said that we were nothing more than friends. We each loved someone else and we were just going to be there for each other." He kisses my neck once more. "When we discussed that, I was perfectly okay with it. I wanted nothing more than to just be there for you."

Tamaki moves away from my neck and looks me in the eye, tracing my jawline with his thumb gently.

"But when I saw you in that hospital bed, so alone and broken, I knew that I wanted more than just being there. I wanted..I still want to be with you. I want to be your protector."

He turns away, slightly embarrassed.

My eyes widen.

I had expected him to discuss that day in the closet, but I had no idea that he wanted to be with me.

Does he mean…a boyfriend?

Dating?

It was a shock, to say the least.

What happened to his undying love for Haruhi?

Tamaki takes a breath and continues, "I don't think it's healthy, Kaoru. This love you have for your brother."

I grit my teeth at this, to which he smiles gently and kisses my nose, showing that he meant not to insult me.

"I understand that you may love him, but the fact of the matter is…he doesn't love you in the same way."

Even now, my heart shatters.

My thoughts had been spoken aloud, and my denial could no longer protect me.

I look down, a tear running down my cheek, "I know." I agree quietly.

"But this…what you and I have is real. I thought…I was infatuated with Haruhi…but I've always had a deep longing to be with you. And seeing your pain…it breaks my heart, mon amour. I thought I could be happy with the attention you were suddenly giving me; I thought that maybe just the physical encounters would be enough. But I was wrong. I can't accept that."

He raises my currently lowered head up and searches my eyes, "To be truly happy, I need to be with you." He finishes.

What can I say?

Seriously, I have been left speechless.

I can't deny the truth in his words.

I do love my brother, but there is no way for me to ignore this affection I feel for Tamaki.

When I see him, my smile brightens and my heartbeat quickens.

I look forward to the days I will be able to be near him, because I know that he will make me feel better.

He doesn't make me question and hate myself like Hikaru does.

He makes me feel accepted.

I can trust him.

Maybe even more so than my own brother.

And he's right: it's not healthy to be this madly in love with my own brother.

My twin.

Should I go for the one who had slowly but surely made me fall for him?

Sure, it was a little less from the ordinary, him being a boy, but it was definitely more normal than being in love with my male twin brother.

Everything he said was…reasonable.

Yet the question still remained:

Would I be with him?

"Kaoru?"

Tamaki's voice pulls me out of my thoughts.

I look to Tamaki. The expression of doubt on his face makes me realize I must have not responded for longer than I had assumed, leaving him with no answer.

I take a deep breath.

"Tamaki…I-I think it would be," I start.

It's time to forget about him.

It's time to move on.

He loves Haruhi and he will never love me like I love him.

That's just the sad truth of it all.

"-I would be honored to be with you." I finish.

And there it is.

The answer.

Tamaki beams at me and hugs me tightly, being careful around my broken arm.

"Oh Kaoru, this is so wonderful!" he exclaims.

I nuzzle my head into his neck and wrap my good arm around him.

I've done it.

I've taken the first step in moving on.

All it took was accepting that Hikaru loves Haruhi.

And it hurt.

It hurt so much.

But Tamaki made that hurt seem slightly less painful, and for that I was grateful.

For the rest of my time with Tamaki, we stay close together, his arm around me almost the whole time as we watch a movie.

Well, I say watch when in all actually we really just talked, learning more about each other, with a few breaks to explore each other's mouths.

After what seems like a few minutes, my phone buzzes and I see a text from Hikaru saying that he has arrived to pick me up.

Sadly, Tamaki and I depart.

He holds my hand as he walks me to the door.

"Please come back to school soon, Kaoru, I've been missing you there so much." He tells me as he opens the door for me.

"I'll make sure to be back soon." I assure him.

We hug once more before I walk outside, throwing a wave to Tamaki.

My boyfriend.

No longer "Tono".

No longer "lover".

But boyfriend, Tamaki Suho.

My smile stays wide as I enter the limo and slide in opposite of Hikaru.

"Hello Hikaru!" I say brightly.

These are the first words I've said to him in a while that aren't by force and I don't even realize that, strangely enough, he isn't even shocked.

My night with Tamaki has made me feel more alive than I have in the longest of times.

It feels like a weight as been lifted and nothing can bring me down now that I have Tamaki to protect me.

"Kaoru!" Hikaru says loudly, making me assume that he has been trying to get my attention.

I turn to face him, my face beaming, and the opposite of his solemn one.

He tells me something.

Something that makes my face fall.

Something that makes my high disappear.

With those few words that he has spoken, my world seems to come crashing down again.

Five words; that's all it takes to make someone question their decisions.

Five words.

"I broke up with Haruhi."

And it all comes crashing down.

To be continued.

Whattttttt?! Tamaki and Kaoru are together? Everything was going great and now this?! Hikaru and Haruhi are broken up?! What could possibly be the reasoning behind Hikaru breaking it off with his beloved girlfriend? ...Find out in the next chapter (;

I hope you enjoyed, please leave a review if you liked it, or are in complete and total shock! The feeeeellssss! (Also, check out my new poll for this story)