Chapter Three: The truth will set you free…said nobody ever!
Harry was sitting by himself inside a red plush chair in one of the back rows of the local theatre while Madeline and John were rehearsing on the stage below.
They were performing at some local event tonight and had invited him along to the rehearsal since he wouldn't be able to make it to the actual show.
As he sat there and listened with one ear to his friends singing and playing the guitar and banter in between, Harrys eyes kept drifting to the clock on the wall to his left.
It was huge, like almost as wide in diameter as he was tall and at the end of each hand sat one of those theatre-masks, the weeping one on the hour-hand and the smiling one on the minute-hand.
Right now, it was almost four in the afternoon.
They had been here for almost four hours.
That would explain why his bottom was so sore.
Behind him one of the double-doors that let into the room opened and Harry turned to see who it was.
It was Gina, her hair now an atrocious blue colour that probably would make Mrs. Holmswood from Nr.16 faint, while dressed in a short white dress.
She was also barefooted and carried a small purse with her.
She slid into the seat next to him.
"Hey Harry." She greeted him quietly, not to disturb their two friends down on the stage.
"Hey Gina." He replied, smiling at her.
"Sorry I'm late. Had to run down to the store to grab a few things for my mum."
"Naw, it's fine." He whispered, looking back at the stage where Madeline and John where dancing while singing.
"Yeah, John already texted me, telling me you can't make it tonight. What's up with that?" she asked, not accusingly but curious.
Harry had to supress a snort.
What was up that this morning, among all the usual letters and notifications Sirius got every day, there had been a note from Victor Greengrass, inviting them to dinner that night.
Harry, who had been expecting this message, had tried to act as inconspicuous as possible. It had taken a little bit of convincing on his side but in the end, Sirius wrote a reply back to Victor, saying they'd be delighted to come.
After that Sirius had left rather quickly for a Wizengamot meeting and Harry had opted to go out and meet up with some of his new friends, rather than stay in the house.
He'd wandered the streets for an hour, trying to come up with a plan for the night, a way to try and tell Sirius and Remus the whole story, including Deatheaters, Dumbledore's plan, Isaac Greengrass and their raid on Malfoy Manor and everything that was connected to it, all the things he knew and had known. But after and hour he had given up and joined his friends in the theatre.
But instead he told her: "As you already know the past year has been…troublesome for me, in many aspects and…there are things I can't and don't want to tell you. But basically I'm taking your advice and will come clean about a lot of things to Remus and Sirius tonight. The secrecy is just getting to much but also…there are things happening and before the shit really hits the fan and Sirius finds all these things out about me…I'd rather tell him myself. He deserves that much at least. After everything he's done for me, going out of his way to take care of me when I was at my lowest..." He mumbled.
She took his hand and squeezed it.
"That is a brave and mature choice to make." She said earnestly. "I hope it will all go well." She then added.
"You and me both. I'm… I am sacred it will backfire on me. That they will be disappointed and angry or…I don't know, might trust me less than they already do." He muttered.
"Well, they will be angry. And sad and yes, maybe even disappointed. But that is only normal. But they will also understand. That I am sure of. And believe me, afterwards you will feel much better." She assured him.
"But what if it doesn't?"
"Harry, if all you ever do is to catastrophize over what could be, you'll never be happy. Ever heard the term 'self-fulfilling prophecies'? Its when you try to avoid something so badly that in doing so you cause the event to happen. That's what you are doing. You think only of all the ways things can go wrong. If you go in with an attitude like that you can't expect much!" she whispered and for good measure she gave him a slight slap on the back of his head.
"Okay okay, I'll be more positive." He muttered, edging away from her.
"Good. Now get going, its already late. And tomorrow we'll meet and you tell me how it went, okay?" she asked.
"I will, thanks Gina, you are the best."
"I know." She said with a grin.
.
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Sirius looked rather haggled when he stepped out of the fireplace but his weary expression changed as soon as he saw Harry sitting on the ground before the coffee-table, doodling on a piece of parchment paper when he was supposed to write an astronomy essay.
Star-charts littered the table and the ground as well as several books and reference-cards.
"Oh look, it's me." Sirius said jokingly, pointing at one of the maps.
"And there is me again." He added, pointing at a different map.
"And there is Andy." Harry said with a slight smile.
Sirius laughed. "At least we were lucky with the names. I had a great-aunt or something whose name was Ursa."
"Like the bear?" Harry asked.
"Exactly like the bear. She then had a daughter and named her Ursa Minor."
"Poor kid." Harry laughed.
"Your grandmother, Dorea Potter-Black, wanted to name you 'Eridanus'. That's some kind of river into which a dead god once fell or something."
Harry shook his head. "I'm glad mum and dad decided to call me Harry. I can't see me as an 'Eridanus'."
"Not to mention it sounds too much like 'Anus'." Sirius added.
"Your mind was the only one that went there." came Remus' reply from the kitchen. "Now get your head out of the gutter and go get changed, we are leaving soon." he continued, wiping his hands on a towel.
"Yes dearest." Sirius said with a roll of his eyes.
Harry snickered.
"You too young man. The Greengrasses may be your friends but that doesn't mean you can show up in jeans and t-shirt." Remus addressed him.
"Thomas has literally seen me covered in mud from head to toe and so has Daphne. I'm sure there are pictures somewhere. I really don't think they would care." Harry muttered but got up nonetheless.
"Well, you're not in the jungle anymore so go and get changed."
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At exactly seven that night Harry, with his family by his side, arrived outside the gates that let to Greengrass Manor, dressed in his best dress-robes and nervous as hell.
The gates opened and one of the servants appeared, escorting them to the house where three more servants waited to take care of their coats.
As they left the foyer and entered the reception-room, a double-winged door to their right swung open and Daphne rushed in to greet them.
Harry had barely time to brace himself before the flung herself into his arms, much like Hermione had done, almost knocking him of his feet.
He manged to stay standing and embraced her as well.
There were no words needed.
Everything that had to be said was said in that one embrace.
Every apology, every understanding word, every reassurance, it was all there.
Finally, they let go and wiping a single tear away, Daphne smiled at him and said: "Hi."
Harry smiled back. "Hi to you too."
Someone cleared their throat behind them.
"Daphne, while I appreciate you greeting our guest so warmly…perhaps you could still…control yourself a little bit more?" asked an amused Victor Greengrass.
Daphne blushed.
"I'm sorry father." She apologized.
While she greeted Remus and Sirius, Harry walked over to Victor.
"Harry, how good to see you." The older man greeted him warmly in a lowered voice.
"Thank you for agreeing to this."
Victor smiled. "I told you Harry, I stand behind you. You are family now. And there is nothing more important than family."
"I know…but with everything that your family had go through already…" Harry trailed off.
"That doesn't matter now." Victor stated firmly.
Then louder he added: "Well, I'm glad you accepted my invitation."
Sirius walked over to them and put a hand on Harrys shoulder.
"Well, there was no reason not to come." He said friendly.
"Come this way. The others are waiting for us in the longue." Victor explained, gesturing towards the double-doors that let down, deeper into the house.
"Who will be joining us tonight?" Remus asked as they followed their host.
Daphne reappeared at Harrys side, taking his hand into hers.
He squeezed it appreciatively.
"Oh no worries, I wasn't going to invite the entire family, no, that would have been chaotic. It'll be just my brothers- and sisters-in-law and their respective others and my children."
"And that's still a lot of people." Daphne piped up.
Harry laughed. She was right. After all, she had two older brothers and two younger sisters. Adding to that her three uncles and two aunts with their husbands and wives, they were already close to twenty people.
They reached another pair of double-doors that Victor pushed open confidently.
Harry had never been in the longue but like the rest of the house this room was dominated by its high ceiling and a window front on two sides of the room. From here you could practically see the entire estate at once.
Fife chandeliers hung from the ceiling, each bigger and heavier that the last.
Sofas, armchairs and several chaiselongues had been placed around the room in small groups around fire-pits in the floor.
The floor was made of stone as well, unlike the wood that ran through the rest of the house.
On the remaining two walls hung two impressively large paintings that almost took up the entire space.
Other than that, the room was simple and without much décor.
Milling around where the aforementioned members of the Greengrass family.
Thomas stood closest to the door with a glass of wine in one hand.
Next to him stood his wife, a woman Harry had only met once very shortly during the Gringotts party.
She was young, like Thomas and they hadn't been married long yet.
On the closest couch sat Daphne's younger sisters Astoria and Jessica.
Astoria had just finished her first year at Hogwarts but Jessica was only nine as Harry recalled. Two more years for her then.
They were giggling and playing with two grey kittens.
Overseeing them were Daphne's aunt Lucinda and her husband Damion.
Again, Harry had only met them once after their little raid on Malfoy Manor.
Standing by one of the windows was Elijah with his other sister Desdemona and her husband Ajax.
Ajax was a healer at St. Mungo's who worked mostly with kids. He'd been one of the healers aside from to Rashid, who had cared for Harry after the third task.
Not that Harry remembered much of that…
Elijah's wife, Alana Greengrass, was nowhere to be seen but from what Harry knew about the woman she was quite a busy person so she might not have made it tonight.
That left Daphne's brothers who stood next to one of the fire-pits.
Alan had just finished Hogwarts while Jonathan had been finished for three years now, mostly spending his time traveling.
Harry had never met the elder of the siblings and Alan had been a quiet person at school, going unnoticed by most.
Like their sister they were tall and blond and blue-eyed but that was where the similarities ended. With their square shoulders and big hands, they resembled their uncles more.
Harry didn't see Isaac but he would have been surprised if he had.
They all looked up when they entered.
Harry was relieved to see them all smile welcomingly.
Thomas, who was closest, greeted him first.
"Harry, my man, it is good to see you again!" he smiled widely, shaking his hand tightly.
Harry remembered that Daphne had told him in one letter that Thomas had been part of the guard to protect him while still recovering in the hospital but he could barely remember that as well.
"Thomas, it's good to see you too. It's been a long time, what have you been up too?" he asked.
"Oh Harry, so much! I have to tell you about my trip to Peru later!" Thomas said excitedly. "Just so much: Mummies!"
"I'm looking forward to it!" Harry assured him with a laugh.
"This is my wife, Anastasia. I don't think you've met before?" Thomas then asked.
Harry took Anastasias hand and lightly brushed his lips against he knuckles.
"I think we saw each other briefly at the How last winter. But you kept hogging her time and attention all night that nobody really got the chance to speak to either of you." He said with a smile.
Anastasia laughed. "Yes, that is true." She said, playfully swatting at Thomas's arm.
"That is because I cannot get enough of you." Thomas admitted to her.
"Urgh, get a room." Said a new voice and Harry came face to face with Daphne's brother Johnathan.
"Really, those two…" he said with a shaking head before holding out his hand to Harry.
To his surprise, Johnathan didn't shake his hand but instead clasped his lower arm.
Harry automatically returned the gesture.
"Good to finally meet you Harry" Johnathan said and added with a side glace at Remus and Sirius who were greeting Elijah at the moment "And let me personally thank you for what you have done. And also: We are behind you. We understand what happened and what you are going through and why you are here tonight with your family. We're here to help. Family is important to us and you have become more than just an honorary member of the family. You are our brother."
Harry flushed from all the praise and muttered: "Anytime. Thank you."
One after another the various Greengrasses approached and welcomed them and like Johnathan they expressed their gratitude over and over.
After that things grew lighter and everyone resumed their conversations while drinks and little snacks were served.
Sirius and Remus fell right in and joined the talking while Harry stayed close to Daphne.
They sat down on one of the couches next to the window-front and Harry took her hand, needing it to anchor himself, to prepare him for what was to come.
She squeezed his hand reassuringly and said: "You're doing the right thing Harry. Secrets always have their prize, believe me I know that very well by now. It almost cost my family everything. It almost cost me you."
Harry studied her face for a few moments.
"You have no idea how good it is to see you in person. I'm sorry I was such a dick to you these last weeks. But…I don't know I needed a break from everything magical. But I've come to realize that we won't be having any breaks anytime soon from now on. Not anymore."
"We'll all make due." She promised him.
"Yes" Harry agreed before he added: "Hey let's talk about something else for a change. At least while we still can."
She laughed. "Good idea. Anything in particular?"
"How's your training going?" Harry asked.
Daphne's eyes lit up like a Christmas tree and she started telling him all about her sessions with Rashid and her training hours at the Academy.
"How come you're not there anyway?" she asked once she had caught him up.
"Am where?" Harry asked.
"At the Academy. Normally during the holidays, we have classes and training sessions and stuff like that at least twice a week."
Harry nodded. "Ah yes, right. Argentum visited us while I was still in the hospital and said that due to the circumstances I didn't need to attend the summer program, at least not completely. I'll have my first lesson in two weeks. But it's not to bad because I was ahead in my studies before all this shit broke lose so I'm not that far behind and the practical work has never been the problem for me."
She nodded. "Well, I look forward to seeing you there." She admitted. "You've been cooped up in that house of yours and we hardly got to see you at all this summer."
Harry sighed.
"I know, but… I…I had to remind myself that there was a world out there where everything Voldemort…doesn't actually exist and…It helped to view things from a bit farther away. Which is part of the reason we're here tonight. A new friend helped me with that."
"That's good to know. I feared you were alone."
"I'm never alone. I have my friends."
She pecked him on the cheek and he smiled.
Just then a servant entered the room, announcing politely that dinner was about to be served.
Harry held out his arm and Daphne linked hers with his and he escorted her towards the door.
Unlike the lounge, Harry had actually been in the dining room before though only briefly and only while passing through.
Also at the time it had been dark and he had had three broken fingers and no idea where he was.
Good times.
The dining room was just as grand as any other room in the mansion but simple, with only a very long table in the middle, lined by comfortable chairs.
The plates and the cutlery were very elegant and the table was tastefully decorated.
Daphne's father took his seat at the head of the table.
To his surprise he motioned for Harr to sit next to him on his right side, a place normally reserved for the guest of honour or important people.
Sirius and Remus were seated next to each other while Daphne sat across from Harry.
The others all too took their places and seconds later the first course appeared on their plates.
Conversations resumed and Harry actually enjoyed himself, catching up with Victor and Elijah.
"How's Isaac?" Harry asked in a low whisper as he cut through his steak.
"He's adjusting just fine but social gatherings take a lot out of him so we told him to sit this one out. Not to mention we didn't want him here when we get to…you know the more sensitive part of the evening." Victor explained.
Harry grimaced. "Good thinking." He mumbled.
"But he's doing really good. He recognizes more and more people every-day and the mind-healers have told us that the wall in his mind is settling in nice and is holding good."
"So he doesn't remember anything?"
"Well, not directly. It's more…a feeling to him. Do you know the feeling of dreaming, then waking up and not being able to remember what happened? It's like that for Isaac. At least that's how he explains it." Elijah tried to explain it.
Harry nodded.
"We try to answer his questions best we can without revealing to much."
"What about people outside the family? Is anyone there giving you much trouble?"
Victor snorted into his wine.
"Not really. In the eyes of the general public this tragic story came to a happy end and to those that caused us trouble…well they have what they wanted so they don't really care anymore. Even if we revealed the truth…it's only a matter of time before the Deatheaters make an appearance on their own. After all, now that the Dark Lord is back there's no reason for them to hide much longer. Whatever nefarious plans they have, they will work on those and I don't think Isaac is much of a risk to them now." Elijah muttered.
Harry sighed. "So it's neither good or bad news?" he asked.
"Yes." Victor said.
"Let's try to take on one problem at a time." Daphne cut in, reaching across the table to take Harrys hand.
With a sideway glance at Remus and Sirius who were talking with her aunts and uncles, she whispered: "We'll deal with whatever the Deatheaters are planning once we've dealt with your family and got them in on everything, so hopefully we'll have more people on our side to help us fight those fanatics."
"Speaking of that…they have been going to meetings every other night these past weeks, meetings where Dumbledore apparently gathers everyone who knows about what happened and who wants to help fight Voldemort while everyone else is turning a blind eye on it. Do you know anything about that?" Harry asked. "Because they won't let me come or know about anything they talk about. It's really annoying. I gave them my memories of the night in the graveyard when Voldemort came back but since then...nada. They make up excuses why they have to leave so often but I know when they go to these meetings."
Victor and Elijah looked at each other with raised eyebrows.
"From what you are telling me, it sounds a lot like Dumbledore called on the members of the Order of the Phoenix." Elijah muttered.
"The members of what now?" Harry asked confused.
With a wary glance in his godfather's direction Elijah explained: "The Order of the Phoenix was a group founded by Dumbledore during the first war with the Dark Lord. We weren't part of it but Isaac was. It's a group of people most loyal to Dumbledore you could say. You parents, Sirius and Remus, Frank and Alice Longbottom, Mad Eye Moody, the McKinnon family, as well as Peter Pettigrew and many others were members."
Harry stared down at his plate, frowning.
"What are they? An elite fighting force?" he asked.
But before any of them could answer Sirius interrupted the conversation.
"And what are you whispering about?" he tried to sound playful but his voice was strained and the expression around his eyes tight.
"Oh nothing in particular, I just told Harry the story about Diana and Lily and how they became friends. I think you're in it as well, aren't you Sirius?" Elijah said with an easy smile.
Sirius grimaced. "Don't remind me." He muttered.
Remus leaned forward on his elbows.
"I for one would like to know that story as well. I only know the version James told me years ago but I'm quite sure it's not entirely correct."
"I'm sure he left out some details." Victor nodded.
Then he turned to Harry and said: "You see, your father was quite smitten with your mother early on. He tried to impress her in their second year at Hogwarts with a fourth-year spell. As you can imagine it didn't quite go as he had planned and he accidentally cursed Diana, who simply happened to be in the wrong place at the wrong time, to speak in rhymes for an entire day. Sirius thought it was quite hilarious and taunted her until she cursed him to only speak in donkey-noises for a week. Your mother, feeling sorry for Diana, spent an entire day and night in the library and came up with a counter-spell for Diana and from there on they became friends over their mutual dislike for your father and your godfather."
Harry laughed softly. "Oh, I can imagine that." He admitted thoughtfully.
"So that's how it went. James told me Severus had done that to you."
Sirius snorted. "Oh please, the old bat couldn't have cursed me back then even if I had been blindfolded and had stood with my back to him."
"Are you talking about Professor Snape?" Daphne asked with wide eyes.
The slightly panicked glances between Sirius and Remus were answer enough but Sirius still tried to deny it.
"Ahm…no…of course not, that would be…I mean, yes…I mean no, maybe, I mean…"
"I think it's best if you just shut up Sirius." Remus said kindly. "You're just making it worse."
.
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By the time the last course had rolled around and they were all sated, Harrys nervousness had eased slightly but it came back full force when Elijah nodded at his sisters pointedly.
Desdemona nodded ever so slightly before putting down her wine-glass and announcing to the whole table: "Well, as fun as this has been, it's getting rather late. I think we best be on our way."
Lucinda nodded, taking her husbands hand. "Us as well." She said simply.
"You too girls." Victor said with a pointed look at his two younger daughters. "It is way past your bedtime. Johnathan, Alan, please escort your sisters upstairs and to bed. Anastasia, be a dear and make sure they do."
They all bid their farewells until the only people left were Victor, Elijah, Thomas, Daphne, Harry, Remus and Sirius.
"Well, I guess we'll be on our way the too." Sirius said.
"Nonsense, please, stay for a little longer. Why don't we head over to my study and enjoy some Firewhiskey there? I'm rather enjoying our conversation." Victor offered charmingly.
"Oh please Sirius, can't we stay a little longer?" Harry asked, taking Daphne's hand over the table.
"Well…I guess an hour more make a difference. After all, it's the summer holidays." Sirius relented with a slight smile.
All Harry could think was: 'An hour is not going to cut it.'
.
.
Sitting in Victors office brought back all kinds of memories to Harry.
From first finding out who his mysterious attacker from Diagon Ally was to planning the raid on Malfoy Manor with the two men and Dobby right here.
That had bee almost a year ago.
For one year he had carried this secret around. And tonight…it would be all revealed. All the lies the scams, the deceptions and the secret plots, it all would come to an end tonight.
Victor waited until Sirius and Remus had both taken a few sips of Firewhiskey before he spoke.
"Sirius, Remus, I must admit that I wasn't completely honest with you tonight." He said with a sigh.
Sirius tilted his head slightly. "How so?" he asked.
But it was Harry who answered.
"I asked him to invite us." He said silently.
Sirius frowned. "Why would you do that?" he asked confused.
"Because I needed and excuse for us to come here. There…there are things we need to talk about. Things that involve the Greengrasses as well. It's complicated and a bit confusing but…it'll explain a lot. About me…they reason why I have behaved and acted the way I did and still do. And it all has to do with Cambodia."
"Harry…I still don't understand…" Sirius whispered slowly.
"You will…hopefully. Just…just listen, okay? You said I could always talk to you. Well, this is me talking."
Remus put a hand on Sirius's shoulder and Answered for him.
"We'll listen cub."
Harry nodded faintly before clearing his throat.
"Alright, I guess it all began a year ago in Cambodia. Do you remember how I told you that we'd been attacked by Deatheaters in the underground cave-system? Well…turns out one of the attackers was Isaac Greengrass..." he began.
And so he explained.
How he had found out about Isaac, his confrontation with Victor in Diagon Ally, about finding out the truth about Lucius Malfoy blackmailing the family, about devising a plan to rescue Isaac and then actually rescuing Isaac. He told them about the battles, the injuries, the fear and pain, about their little white lie to the public and Isaacs recovery.
He told them about how long the Deatheaters had been planning to resurrect the Dark lord, first with the help of the Philosophers Stone, later with the ritual in the graveyard.
He told them about his short confrontation with Lucius Malfoy at the Quidditch World Cup and how he'd seen Barty Crouch Jr. later on with Ron and Hermione.
He spoke of the dreams he had had since Cambodia, long before Voldemort had come back, about the dark mansion, the old man and the green light and how those dreams had continued all year long but never drawing the connections until it was too late.
Victor and Elijah added here and there a few things about their perspective and mostly about Malfoys blackmailing. They also threw in a lot of praise about his actions but Harry cared little for that.
His eyes never left Sirius as he talked.
Sirius stayed calm throughout the whole story, only asking a few short questions then and there.
His face was dark and his mouth a thin line.
Harry feared what would happen once he was finished.
And then he was and there was nothing left to say.
The truth had been revealed.
"So…that's it…that's the whole truth. Now…now you know. You know everything." He finished with a whisper.
It was silent in the room.
Silent except for the fire crackling in the hearth and the drumming of summer-rain on the windows.
When had it started to rain, Harry wondered absentmindedly.
He focused again on Sirius, who had leaned forward on his place on the couch, his elbows resting on his knees, his hands pressed together his the tips of his fingers resting against his lips.
He wasn't looking at Harry.
He wasn't looking at anyone actually.
His eyes were closed and he was taking deep controlled breathes as if he had to force himself to stay calm.
Not a good sign.
Finally he opened his eyes again and asked silently:
"Are you sure?"
Nothing in his tone betrayed any kind of emotion.
"What do you mean?" Harry asked carefully.
"That you have told me the entire truth."
It was only his years spent repressing his emotion in the presence of the Dursleys that kept Harry from flinching.
Because he hadn't told Sirius everything.
He hadn't mentioned Narcissa and his sort-of-deal with her.
But he didn't say anything.
Sirius suddenly stood up and strode across the room towards the windows.
He stopped there and stared outside.
Nobody quite knew what to say.
Seeking help, Harry looked over to Victor.
"I know all of this must be hard to digest. And if you are wondering why Harry is only telling you now, it is because I asked him to. Isaac was still recovering and before the Triwizard Tournament he was still a hot topic in the press and we just wanted to protect him. The less people knew the truth, the safer he would be."
Sirius turned around and glared at him.
"Are you now?" he turned to glare at Daphne "I bet this was your plan all along when you found out Harry was gonna come with you to Cambodia. Have someone else clean up the messes you've made" and then he looked back at her father and uncle "I can't believe you dragged him into this."
Victor nodded solemnly. "You are right. And I'm sorry for dragging Harry into this. I didn't just put him at risk, but also many others."
"He didn't drag me into anything Sirius. I chose to put my nose into matters that didn't concern me. Like I always do."
That last sentence was meant as a joke, to loosen the tension in the room but it didn't work at all.
"You think that is funny?" Sirius asked coolly. "Do you think its funny that I spent all my waking time worrying about you? That the entire past year has been hell for me? That this summer has been even worse? While I worry about you staying alive, you sneak around behind my back, purposefully putting yourself at risk?"
"That's not what I was doing Sirius. I was trying to help!"
"AND SEE WHERE IT GOT YOU!" Sirius shouted.
An even heavier silence descended upon the room.
"At first I thought your desire to help and protect was a wonderful selfless thing to do. But now…now you are just so egoistical Harry! You don't think about others at all. Sure, you try to help but you don't stop to think about what that does with the people in your life and I don't just mean me. I mean all others that love you and care for you. Like the Weasleys, Hermione, Remus, the members of your team and so many others. Like me."
"I wanted to protect you all. I didn't want to drag you into my messes. I thought I could keep you out of it all especially. Not because I don't trust you or because I don't care. I did it because I care! And I'm telling you now because I care. Things have been getting out of hand and I don't want you to get hurt by my stupidity." Harry interrupted him.
"It's a bit too late for that, don't you think? You think you have to do it on your own and that you are the only one capable of doing things..."
"I don't think like that!"
"You know that in that way you are a lot like Dumbledore? You always complain about him leaving you in the dark and doing things for the greater good but in the end, you do the same thing. You take on the responsibility for every single life around you and try to do everything alone and still wonder why things still go bad."
Sirius shook his head.
"I mean, did it ever occur to you that maybe we've been fighting this fight much longer than you and that we know what is going on and that we want to stop Voldemort as well? No, it didn't, because you are still a kid but you feel oh so grown-up. I know with everything you've been going through these past years, you kind of think that it's your job to safe everyone. But it's not your job alone!"
Harry jumped to his feet.
"Yeah, I can see the overwhelming support! Like, just open the newspaper and you'll read all about it! Oh wait, no you don't because nobody wants to believe me. Where was all that support then? All those people that you claim want to help, where were they when the press was slandering my name?" He hissed.
And then he added: "And you're not much better. I know you keep going to these meetings with Dumbledore. Stop hiding them form me. I know you make plans about stopping him. I gave you all the information I had and yet you still treat me like a child. I'm not a child Sirius. And maybe I'm not a grown up either but what other choice do I have? He keeps coming after me and I've never been able to rely on the grown ups for help. So yeah, maybe I felt discouraged, maybe that is the actual truth. Maybe I have lost faith in the people around me because whenever I needed them before, the only people who stuck by my side were Ron and Hermione. Children like me, as you say. Children nobody ever listened to, even when we turned out to be right. And yet you wonder why I don't come running to the closest grow up everytime I have a problem. Maybe it's because I know they'll never listen so I don't bother wasting my time. And together we prevented more disasters than you can imagine. But go on, keep saying I'm selfish. Because maybe I am. But is it selfish to want to life past your teenage years? And I don't care if you don't believe me that I actually did it for you. I don't care if you don't understand my reasoning. I'm done explaining myself to everybody. I'm done waiting around. I'm taking initiatives and I had planned on doing it with you. I had hoped you of all people would look past my age and instead focus on my abilities and the things I've done in the past. I was never a child Sirius. From the moment I stepped into this world I was The-boy-who-lived. I have been destined to fight, I was born to fight. And maybe it's not the life I would have chosen, and yeah maybe its not fair and all that. But recently I have learned the hard way that whining isn't going to get things done. I'm done waiting for others, I am done being told what I can and cannot do. Nobody cared for what we said before. I'm also done being helpless. I am trying to embrace my role as someone who fights. And I understand that you don't like that. Because you still see me as James's son, you still think of me as the cute little baby you gave a toy broom for its first birthday. You hardly know me from beyond then. And you don't understand how I have become like this. And that's okay. We're still strangers to each other Sirius. But what matters right now and the reason we're here having this discussion is the fact that I need you. I want your help. I know that I have made mistakes and I should have made the first step and been more upfront with you but what matters is that I am trying to do just that right now! I'm not saying forgive and forget. I'm saying please try to understand me."
Harry stopped to take a deep breath.
His heart was beating wildly.
"I mean…you of all people should know what it feels like to be different, not to be able to trust anyone and what it feels like to be all alone."
Harry closed his eyes, suddenly shivering.
"I really appreciate everything that you have done for me and trying to be my family. And you have done wonderfully. I just never had a family. And I…I try to trust you and I keep telling myself to be better for you. But there is this side of me that…that doesn't want to let you in because…because people have kept on disappointing me for so long that I don't even expect differently anymore and try not to get my hopes up. I'm sorry, you deserve better but…this is who I am. And I want to keep doing this. I want to help, I simply cannot turn my back on someone who needs help. I wish I could but…" He trailed off, unable to put in words.
"…but you feel like you have too because nobody was ever there for you so you try to be there for someone else." Sirius whispered slowly.
His shoulders were sacked and he looked like all energy had left him.
Harry hung his head.
"I know that I am a terrible person. You, Remus, the Weasleys, so many people have been so nice and fore coming and yet I still…I still don't trust you."
Sirius sighed, rubbing his face with his hands.
"Merlin, what a mess." He sighed.
An awkward silence followed.
Finally Elijah cleared his throat.
"Maybe I'm not the best to listen to right now but: I think everything Harry did was brave, courageous and righteous. Yes, maybe it was also stupid and reckless at times and there is a lot he has to learn. But from what I have seen, Harry has grown in many ways and a lot of obstacles that were thrown in his path would have brought men five times his age, experience and knowledge to their knees. I also think that he is right about not being a child. Harry is a soldier, as much as it pains me to say it. But I also think Harry is a leader. He has an important role to play in the wars to come and to keep him in the dark is foolish and dangerous to his life. He needs to be prepared and he needs all our support. I know it's easier to close your eyes and pretend that there is still time. But there's not. Voldemort and his followers are coming. It's only a matter of time. And when they do Harry will need us and we will need Harry."
He stopped, looking around.
"I know emotions are running high right now and…a lot has been revealed tonight, many of which might have been long overdue. But you are a family. And families fight and say hurtful things but…they can always come back together. You have to want it though. Do you want it Harry?"
Harry nodded. "Yes. I said I never had a family. But I always wanted one. And I want you to be a part of it Sirius. You and Remus and Ron and Hermione and Daphne and so many others. I'm sorry for hurting you. But I'm not sorry for what I have done." He muttered, sinking back onto the couch.
"And you Sirius?" Elijah asked.
Sirius was silent for a few seconds.
Seconds, in which Harrys hopes sunk faster than a boat taking on water.
But the he looked up and he had tears in his eyes.
"I'm sorry I failed you Harry. I thought I could do this, I thought I could go back to those happier times when your parents were still alive. It was foolish and naïve of me to think so. You're right, I tried to put my head in the sand and made you feel like I was just like anybody else who had ever let you down. I swear, I will try to change that!"
"You didn't let me down. You were amazing. I wanted to believe that lie too. I wanted you to be happy after everything that you had to go through because of me."
Sirius slowly approached him and knelt down before him, taking his hands into his own.
"Harry please, remember form now on: No matter how big the mess seems, four eyes see more than two. I want to be there for you. I want to protect you, I need to protect you. You are my life now and if anything happens to you…I couldn't deal with that. But I also understand now that I can't stop you. Maybe it is your destiny to save us all. Who knows. I don't care as long as I can be there by your side and help you, okay?"
Tears welled up in Harrys eyes.
"How can you not hate me?" he asked desperately.
"Harry, there's nothing you could ever do could make me hate you. Yes, you've made some stupid and reckless decisions and I'm sure as hell not thrilled about any of this but…everything you did came from the good of your heart and I cannot condemn any of it. I probably would have done the same to be honest. But like I said…as long as you from now on know that I will be there for anything…I can forgive you, if that is what you need from me."
"Harry, I think deep down we already know that you are meant for great things…what kind of great things we don't know but like Elijah said, there is trouble on the horizon and we're not gonna let you face it alone. None of us. Maybe we have yet to earn your trust but I promise you…we will always listen to what you have to say. We will not dismiss you and we will try to help in any way possible." Remus added slowly.
"Thank you." Harry whispered. "You…you have no idea what that means to me."
"I'm just glad you're back to your old self kiddo. You had us worried there these past weeks. I know it's been hard. With the press and all and the Crouch Jr. thing and…and all of it but…we've just been so worried about you. But now that we can see the big picture…I understand pup." Sirius said gently.
"It's been really hard." Harry agreed, his voice thick with emotions.
"I think that is enough for one night. Thank you for listening to Harry." Victor spoke up.
"I'm not sure if I should thank you or punch you." Sirius growled.
"Padfoot, please don't…" Harry began but Sirius ignored him.
"You dragged my boy into all sorts of danger and secrecy. How could you?"
"Sirius it was my decision, I wouldn't let it go. Victor offered me to walk away. I insisted on staying."
"He's right Harry" Victor interrupted him "We still allowed you to come. We should have tried more but I admit we were desperate at the time. Sirius, I apologize. My family owes your family a great debt. If there is anything I can do to repay it, we will, no matter the cost."
Sirius stared at him through narrowed eyes.
"Be sure to remember that." He simply said.
"Alright, I think that really is enough" Remus intervened "I think we better be going. Thank you for your hospitality. And thank you for looking out for Harry."
"He's family." Elijah said simply.
.
Daphne escorted them to the front door.
Once there she hugged Harry tightly and whispered into his ear: "I'm so proud of you. You did the right thing."
He hugged her too and whispered back: "Thanks for standing by me." and then gave her a quick peck on the cheek.
They let go of each other and Harry followed Remus and Sirius outside.
"I'll see you soon." Daphne called out after them.
"I look forward to it!" Harry promised with a smile before falling into step with godfather and uncle.
Sirius put on arm around his shoulder and pulled him closer to his side, quickly pressing his lips against Harrys scalp.
"My fight is your fight."
"Does that mean I get to come to the meetings?" Harry asked.
Sirius hesitated, exchanging looks with Remus.
Then he looked down and Harry could see him coming to a decision.
"We meet again next week. I will talk to Dumbledore" seeing Harrys expression he added "And even if he says no, I'll just take you next time."
"You promise?" Harry asked, knowing very well that he sounded like a small child.
"I promise. No more secrets. For real this time."
Harry hesitated.
"I…I have one more secret. I didn't want to talk about it in front of this Greengrasses." He admitted.
Sirius narrowed his eyes.
"Can you…can you tell me?" he asked.
"Yes…but not today. I…I need clear something first." Harry whispered.
For a second he though Sirius would be angry again.
But then he nodded.
"Okay. Thanks for being honest Harry."
Narcissa better be answering his message!
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AN: Yes, no need to crucify me, I know I am terrible. I hope you enjoyed this rollercoaster of emotions and are still able to follow the story.
More soon, this time for real.