Previously on Daughter: Ichirou Nakamoto and Jun Sakai had known and liked each other since grade school. After high school they met again and fell in love, but eventually got pregnant. Ichirou vowed to stay with Jun and the baby even though he was in the Shie Hassaikai and couldn't technically take a wife. Jun had plans to become an economic strategist before getting pregnant and kept studying at university after giving birth. With Ichirou's death she made the painful decision to give Isane up, and transferred guardianship to Ichirou's parents.
Chapter Two: Slip
Jun: - Are you awake? -
The flat was littered in old take out containers, the dishes overflowing in the sink. The trash had been taken out, but the bed in the corner was unmade next to the cradle where his niece slept soundly, unaware to the turmoil raging around her.
Seeing Jun on the patio, she leaned against the railing, cigarette held lightly between two fingers. She was disheveled. Sweats and a loose t-shirt. Eyes far away. The lit end of her cigarette had at least an inch of ash that was hanging on by a thread; she hadn't taken a drag since she said the words. The words that shook him to his core.
It was a memory from weeks prior, but she had said the same words that Okasan was speaking now.
"We're going to become Isane's guardians."
He was bouncing her on his leg as she giggled in delight. Chubby hands reaching for his glasses, but every time she got close, he bounced her again, making her giggle and squeal in delight.
"I can't do it, Kenji," Jun's words had been desperate. A plea. A prayer. A confession. They were ice in his veins.
"Ichirou would want you to. You can't not. She's your daughter for crying out loud!"
Jun ran her fingers through her hair, all the way to the scalp and clenched her fist. The ash at the end of her cigarette fell to the ground eight stories beneath them.
"I can't do it. Not without him. Besides, we were never married. I don't have the protection of the Hassaikai." Eyes welled with tears, visible even in the low light streaming through the patio door from the tv inside. It was late. Or early, depending on how you viewed 2:34 am. Few cars passed on the street below. A game show of some kind had come on after whatever Jun had been watching before.
Okasan's words brought him back to the present. "Jun has legally-" she trailed off.
Irinaka had joined him on the way over. He stood in the corner of the living room looking more pissed than Kenji had seen him in a long time. Expression drawn and arms crossed over his chest, Irinaka kept to himself but his glare would cause anyone to shrivel beneath it. It made sense for him to react this way, though, with his own family's history.
Kenji had known Irinaka for almost as long as his brother, and although he tried to hide what he'd been feeling for the last few weeks, since he'd answered Jun's text, Irinaka must have seen something on his face when Kenji left the Hassaikai compound that afternoon. Irinaka had taken one look at Kenji and announced, "Looks like I'm joining you."
Kenji didn't protest; Irinaka was part of the family, or practically so.
As Okasan spoke, Irinaka was watching Kenji. Or maybe he was watching baby Isane. Kenji's gaze was on his mother, who looked devastatingly sad. His father wasn't too far off, either, but his jaw was clenched, and his gaze was hardened and far away. They'd lost their son and daughter-in-law in just a few short months.
"You're going to raise her, then?" Kenji asked emptily, even though it was practically obvious. "You've done your part."
"Where else would she go?" Okasan asked rhetorically as his vision was partially obscured by a baby hand. She'd managed to land a hand on his glasses when he wasn't paying attention. "We've raised you and your brother, and we'll do it again." Her conviction was strong, at least. Her gaze softened as Isane started pulling the glasses off Kenji's face.
He quickly stopped her, catching her wrist and gently prying her hand open. A large hand print was on his lens, but he ignored it. "What are you doing, huh?" He asked Isane, only making her smile more. "What are you doing! Those are my glasses!"
Kenji re-adjusted Isane on his lap, turning her to face the others and handing her his keys from the table next to him. Sparing a glance at Irinaka, the larger man stood impassively. Okasan had tears slowly falling as she watched the pair lovingly.
Isane was all that was left of his brother. Gently, he wrapped his arms around Isane, and hugged her to his chest. She had his curiosity. She had his laugh. Even when she was told "no," she would keep pushing the boundaries, never quite settled with what others told her to do.
She was barely a year old, but she had so much of Ichirou in her already, it was overwhelming. Kenji nodded to his mother, blinking away the wetness he could feel gathering in his eyes.
Ichirou was the kind of guy that people wanted on their side. He was dependable and loyal. Once he knew a person's name and they shared a meal, he could be counted on to show up even if they needed help moving furniture. He had a smile and a kind word for everyone, and his laugh was infectious.
His twin was always thinking ahead to the next action, the next step. He would always be two steps ahead of everyone else and never knew how to slow down. Any time there was a new guy in the Hassaikai he was immediately volunteering to show them the ropes and get them acclimated. He didn't care for staying inside for long, so rainy days were the worst. He always wanted to be moving.
Ichirou had the better grades out of the two of them and took his work more seriously, even if he didn't learn very quickly. He liked to plot with Kenji to pull pranks, but when they got into trouble, he was quick to take the blame even if it should have been shared responsibility. He was only two minutes older than Kenji, but sometimes it felt like he was years older. He was the more mature one, easily, and made it a point to always come home to see Okasan and Father, something that Kenji had tried to pick up since the accident. Kenji tried to make a point to come home at least once a week to see his parents and see baby Isane, too. Some weeks it was a few nights, but always he could be counted on to show up at least once a week.
At first it had just been him, but as Irinaka healed from the sudden loss, he made it a point, too, and the two men walked the short distance from the Hassaikai compound to the home they both knew on either Tuesdays or Wednesdays.
As soon as they walked in through the door, and said hello to Okasan and Father, Kenji made a bee-line to baby Isane. Between him and Irinaka, she was rarely put down on days when they visited. Kenji usually got to have time with her before they ate, and after dinner Irinaka usually took her from him. The man swore he was doing it as a favor to Kenji - to allow him a break - but after a couple of times that Kenji caught Irinaka dosing on the couch with Isane asleep on his chest and the photographic evidence that followed, Irinaka stopped being able to claim that excuse.
A vein throbbed in his temple the first time Kenji showed him the picture on his phone, and he made a show of it, telling Kenji to delete the picture. But Kenji sent it to Irinaka's phone instead, and somehow that photo eventually became his phone's wallpaper.
When asked about it, Irinaka grumbled, "That was the only decent photo I had. What else am I supposed to use? A fucking flower?"
As time passed and Isane learned to walk, Kenji and Irinaka would find her waiting by the front door for them to arrive. Sometimes they could even see her in a onesie waiting in the window like a puppy.
At two, very little was distinguishable that came out of her mouth word-wise, but Kenji's heart always soared when she squealed, "Kenchan!" as he stepped through the door, especially when her hair was done-up in two little pigtails.
It was so cute he could have melted.
Isane did have trouble with Irinaka's name. He never went by his first name as a general rule and hated for anyone to call him Joi. One night after dinner, Isane was on the floor playing with some of her blocks, while the two Yakuza sat on the floor with her.
"What about just keeping Mimic?" Kenji asked him over Isane's head. He was sprawled out on the floor as Isane was showing him her blocks.
Irinaka grumbled. "Leave that shi… Leave that for the Hassaikai." A frown pulled at his lips. He always tried so hard not to curse in front of her.
At the sound of his voice, Isane glanced up, scooting closer to show him the block in her hand. "Yes, I see, thank you," he said, taking the block and glancing over it before handing it back to her. Kenji watched them, an idea forming.
"Isane, come here," he said, catching the toddler's attention. Isane crawled closer to Kenji, who leaned forward the rest of the way to whisper his idea in her ear.
"What are you doing?" Irinaka growled. Kenji leaned back again, a wicked smile playing on his lips as he pointed to Irinaka.
"Go ahead, Isane," Kenji prodded her.
She looked back over at Irinaka who looked vaguely apprehensive and already not liking the idea. Isane, of course, picked up on his mood right away and glanced back at Kenji, eyebrows drawn and her smile gone.
"Go head," Kenji encouraged her. Isane looked back at Irinaka, as if undecided, and immediately crawled to him. He was leaning against the wall, and he picked her up to lean against his legs.
"She doesn't want to be mean to me," Irinaka growled, taking either of her hands and bouncing her on his stomach, making her laugh.
"It wasn't mean!"
The glare that Irinaka shot at Kenji told just how much he believed him.
The name idea that Kenji had came out the following week as Isane waited by the door again. The weather had grown cold and the weatherman was calling for an early snow in a few days. It wasn't supposed to stick to the ground for long, but it would make everything icy. Kenji and Irinaka hurried to the house and were greeted by Isane who waited by the door at the window.
"She's like a fucking puppy," Irinaka said, not unkindly.
Kenji ignored him as he unlocked his childhood home's front door and stepped in. He didn't bother making sure Irinaka was on his heels or not. He went straight for Isane and swept her up into his arms. "Where have you been? I've been looking everywhere for you!" He cried out dramatically, blowing raspberries into her neck until she was squealing in delight.
"Ojichan!"
Kenji turned with her in his arms to watch for Irinaka's expression while she adjusted herself to better reach for him. He had shut the door behind them and was starting to remove his coat. The name fell on deaf ears until she said it again.
That time Irinaka's head shot up, innocent surprise on his face.
It wasn't often that Kenji got to witness the man lose his gruff attitude, but any time it happened, it was worth it. He always put so many walls up.
So, seeing his eyes go wide and the genuine surprise was worth the immediate cover of, "Oh absolutely not!"
Okasan came from the kitchen, then, to greet the two men and take Isane who was still reaching for Irinaka. "Oh, it's already stuck. She's been asking when Ojichan and Kenchan are coming all week." She was obviously trying to hide her amusement, judging by the sparkle in her eye. "Come on, little one, let's get you changed."
Okasan took Isane away, but Irinaka was still frozen in place. "You sorry bastard," he hissed under his breath once they were out of earshot. Kenji barked a laugh and clapped a hand on Irinaka's back. Irinaka slapped his hand away.
"Just admit it - you love it!"
"I hate it."
"But she was so cute the way she was reaching for you and calling for you. Ojichan!"
"Fuck off!"
The years passed quietly. Jun never showed herself even though Kenji would text her photos of Isane at the milestones: her first tooth that came in, her second birthday, the races she challenged Kenji to running with her, building a tower with her blocks and then pushing it over, her third birthday, her first story that she had "written" even though only she could read it, and on and on. When he texted Jun a fourth birthday photo of Isane wearing a gorgeous frilly polka-dot dress that he had bought her, he finally got a text back.
Jun: - I can't, Kenji. Please stop. -
All day he left it on his phone, not quite knowing what she meant or why she had finally responded after all this time. Three years of silence, and then a single message not even to wish her daughter a happy birthday? But instead a request for him to stop?
By the end of the day he had his answer.
Jun: - It's too painful. -
Kenji pulled Irinaka out to the porch once the partygoers were gone, which included six of her friends from pre-school. He needed a smoke, especially after being surrounded by four-year-olds all day. What he really needed was a drink, but Okasan made sure no alcohol was in the house once Isane had joined the household. For now, a smoke would have to do.
"Jesus," Irinaka muttered, reading Jun's texts before taking a drag of his own cigarette.
"I know, right? Like, she's your own child, but-"
"You also should have taken a hint."
Kenji could only glare at Irinaka as he snatched his phone back. "I just thought she should see what she's missing."
"She made her decision and you should respect that." Irinaka replied as the door to the patio opened above them.
"Oof!" Kenji quickly tried to hide his cigarette as Isane came into view. The small tap-tap-tap of her footsteps had not been nearly enough time to hide his cigarette from view. She started making her way down the stairs awkwardly. They were still a little too big for her, and it was adorable to watch her try to descend them, especially since she was still wearing that frilly dress. "Isane! Why are you out here? Does Obaasan know where you are?"
He tried to hide the cigarette without putting it out, but both Kenji and Irinaka's lit tips were a bright glow in the semi-darkness. Irinaka didn't even try to hide it until Isane said, "I told her I was coming to find you. Uncle Kenji, Ojichan, you know smoking is bad for you, right? It'll turn your lungs all gray and nasty. My friend, Harichan, was telling me, and his big sister told him."
Kenji really needed the smoke, but goddamn if Isane telling him that wasn't the most adorable thing in the world. He could have melted. "Thank you for the reminder, Isane," Kenji replied instead, working to keep the smile off his face. She'd stopped calling him Kenchan about a year prior, and no amount of bribery could get her to keep calling him that. "What's going on? Why did you want to find me? I told you before I'd be back in a bit."
He bent down to her height, sitting back on his heels. Isane looked around, doe-eyes taking in the patio and not quite looking at either him or Irinaka, he noticed. "Uncle Kenji, your parents are Obaachan and Grandfather, right?"
He hesitated for only a moment, unsure of where she was going with this. "That's right."
"And Ojichan, you have a mom and dad, too, right?"
Next to him, Kenji could feel Irinaka stiffen. That's where she was going with this. Okasan had been telling them that the doctor mentioned she might start having questions in the next year or so, but he didn't think it would be so soon.
"I do," Irinaka replied stiffly. "They live not far from here. What's going on?"
Isane sucked in a deep breath and she looked down at the ground. Not really knowing what to do with her hands she worried with them in front of her body, but barreled on. "All the kids at school have a Mom and a Dad, too. And I don't. I don't know why I don't." With every word Kenji's heart broke more. Gently, he pulled her close and placed a kiss to the top of her head, taking a moment just to hold her close. "I tried to ask Obaachan, but she started crying. And I asked Grandfather, and he did what you did, but then he left. Harichan says that when his parents get mad, they stop talking to him. Did they…" she trailed off for just a moment, but long enough that the tears started falling and her voice grew thick. "Did my Mom and my Dad not want me? Did I make them mad?"
Kenji had felt his own emotion stick in his throat, and wetness gather in his eyes. Goddamn but the fucking timing of her question.
But really, more than that, her question brought up Ichirou, and how to explain that to her. Just four years ago his brother had been alive and absolutely dedicated to his family, writing a letter to them every night. Kenji had even found some in his dresser after his death, written to Isane but never mailed and tucked away out of sight.
"No," Kenji finally found his voice, and he swiped at the tears that fell. "No, they both loved you so much. You were their whole world. There's nothing you could have done to make them love you any less. Your dad, my brother, he died a long time ago, when you were still a baby. And your mom… she loved you so much, but she had to leave. She had to make a really difficult adult decision, and she knew she couldn't take you with her. But she knew that you would be better here with us and Obaachan and Grandfather. But she doesn't love you any less." It was hard to say the words, but Isane needed to know how much her mother cared.
"Do you understand? Both your mom and your dad love you so much. All the way to the moon and back, and even farther. Just like we do." He glanced up, briefly, at Irinaka, not even noticing his expression other than the fact that he was paying attention. "But they can't be here anymore. But that's okay, because you have me," Kenji touched his hand to his chest as he spoke. "And you have Ojichan," and he looked up at Irinaka again. This time, Isane followed his gaze up to him. "And you have Obaachan, and you have Grandfather," and Kenji pointed over her shoulder, back at the house. Isane turned, slightly, to look over her shoulder, but re-focused on Kenji again as he kept talking. "We might not be your Mom and Dad, but we all love you just as much."
"All the way to the moon and back," Isane repeated what he had said.
Kenji nodded. Thank god she had been listening. "And even farther."
She hesitated for a moment, then said, "Uncle Kenji, you're crying."
Of all the things she could have said, he wasn't expecting that. Laughing thickly, he swiped at his eyes with the back of his sleeve. "That's what happens when you talk about people you love when you miss them."
Isane glanced up at Irinaka. "Ojichan, are you crying, too?"
Kenji followed Isane's gaze. He couldn't see the emotion in Irinaka's eyes, but he could hear the thickness in his voice. "A little, but he shows it more."
"Go on inside, Isane," Kenji said, pulling her close to kiss the top of her head again before rising and ushering her toward the stairs. "We'll be in in a few minutes."
She nodded and left. Kenji took a drag on his cigarette as he cleared his voice. Out of the corner of his eye, Irinaka moved like he had something in his eye. As soon as the door to the house closed after her, Irinaka said, "I don't know how the fuck you just did that. Anytime she asks me anything heavy like that I clam up."
Kenji shook his head. Honestly, he had no idea either, but he still said, "Just break it down for her. It's okay if she sees you get emotional. She'll pick up on it even if you don't show it."
Both men were quiet for a beat.
"Just like Slip," Irinaka observed sadly.
Ichirou's nickname brought back the numb pain of his absence and Kenji sucked in a breath. "Yeah."
NOTES: Not going to lie, when I first wrote this last scene I definitely teared up.
Also, one of my favorite things is gruff men who have no business looking or acting soft completely melting while in the presence of children, puppies, and kittens. So, here's two Yakuza who absolutely adore this little girl.
If you enjoyed, please review! Thank you to JumpRanger for the follow and favorite, and Culture Shock, ThiefWicker, and volley-14-nerd for the follows!