Hey all, just a quick few things about this chapter. Firstly, it goes without saying that every relationship is different and that is something talked about within this chapter, when we see a two different relationships at play. Secondly, Mikki belongs to KikiJuanita who has given me permission to use her throughout my story and if you want to use her you do need to be talking to her. Onyx is mine and if you want to use her you need to ask permission. Enjoy.
"Care to enlighten me about your attitude last night?" Onyx asked, joining her brother with an iced coffee. The late morning quickly heating the day up.
"I thought we were meeting for lunch," Jeff laughed, stopping what he was doing, seeing his sister enter the quietness of the bar. "And not here," he said.
"I am curious and my morning is free, thought I would come in and help you go over the books," she shrugged, seeing what he had been busy doing upon her arrival.
"Maybe you shouldn't do that," Jeff sighed, dropping the pencil in hand. "Things aren't as great as they used to be," he confessed. "And the thing is I don't even care. I lost my passion for all of this," he sighed. The bar scene had been his passion since high school and he snuck into a bar with a fake ID. But now, he is growing tired of it all. Ready for something new in his life.
"So what are you going to do about it?" She asked. She didn't like seeing this place go because her brother had worked so hard on opening the place. But she didn't want him to be here if it meant he was going to be suffering everyday he worked. "What about Sam? Blaine? Not to forget about the others?"
"Sam is going to find work that gives him normal hours and not working all night," he told his sister, repeating what Sam told him the day prior. "Blaine actually wants to take this place over. Figured I would sell to him and he can do what he wants with the place. And the scary part is I don't know what I want to be doing, Onyx," he said being honest with her.
"You do need a job to keep your place," she told him sternly. "But other than that I support your decision to move on. I remember those summers where you wanted to be a radio DJ. Is that something you could see yourself doing?" Onyx asked.
"I could," he smiled. "Before I do anything with this place, I want to figure out if I do have a passion in something else and if I do want to be doing that," Jeff told her.
"Then go for it, Jeff. Only you can hold yourself back," she told him. "None of us want to be doing something that we don't enjoy doing. And like I have always been I am going to be here for you," she assured him.
"Thanks," he smiled, pushing the papers to the side. "That wasn't everything bothering me last night and even today really," he sighed, getting something to drink joining his sister.
"You're scaring me, Jeff," she told him. "What's going on? You're not sick or anything like that are you?" She asked him.
"No, my health is perfectly fine," he quickly assures his sister. "It's to do with Sugar," he said.
"What is going on with Sugar? I thought you two were doing really good?" She hasn't heard any different from Sugar. In fact this is the first time she has heard of any problems going on between Jeff and Sugar.
"We are," he nodded, easily confusing his sister, because she didn't see what was wrong with either one of them. "We had a pregnancy scare," he finally said, cluing his sister into one part of his problem.
"And here you and Seb are on me about protection, like all the time," she teased. "Obviously it was only a scare which is a good thing because you two haven't even been dating that long," she said, giving it some thought. "With what little time you've been dating each other, can you have a pregnancy scare?" She questioned, because it just wasn't adding up for her. She really didn't think that two weeks together would be enough time to have a pregnancy scare.
"It's not enough time but the father would have been her ex, because they hooked up one night two months ago," he explained. Onyx remembered that night. It was the end of the week and she couldn't go out because she had a meeting in the morning. But it was the night where Sugar saw her ex at the bar alone and they got to talking and things just went from there. "And it is good, but it has made me think about my relationship with her," he sighed. "I do think we need to slow things down, because neither one of us is ready for a responsibility like that."
"If that's how you feel, you need to be telling her these things," she stressed. "I do agree with you, Jeff. And I know Sugar will as well once you tell her all of this." Neither her brother nor Sugar were ready to bring a baby into their lives when they have only been dating a few weeks. And she didn't want to see something like this pull them apart and ruin what they had, because it could happen.
"I plan on it, but you are her best friend and I don't want to say the wrong thing and make her think that I want to break up with her," he sighed.
"If you tell her the same way you just told me, she won't think that at all, Jeff. And it is best to be blunt with her than to beat around the bush. Telling her how you feel shouldn't be as scary as you are making it out to be. She'll understand and I am certain that she is going to feel the same way as you on it," she easily told her brother.
"You think so?" Jeff questioned, playing with his glass, his water now gone. He didn't want to hurt Sugar's feelings, but he also didn't want them to be put in a place with a responsibility they weren't ready for. So for him slowing down the fast approach of their relationship is the logic answer for him. He wanted to be with Sugar, he liked her more than he thought possible when he fibbed and told his moms that he had a girlfriend. He wasn't about ready to mess that up by rushing into more than they could handle.
"I don't think so, I know so," she said. "I really do think Sugar is feeling the same way as you and slowing your relationship down is going to really save it in the long run, before you rush into something that can't be easily fixed," Onyx explained. "You worrying like this tells me that you like her enough to be careful of her feelings and that is a really good thing Jeff," she added on. This whole conversation is déjà vu to her from when she was back in high school and she needed her big brother.
"I do care for her feelings. I don't want to hurt her, that is the last thing that I want to be doing," he stated, leaning on the countertop. "You do know how grateful I am to have you as a sister, right?" He asked, pulling her in for a hug.
"And you do know that I feel the same way about you?" She asked back, hugging her brother back. Nothing could solve your problems like a hug from a sibling.
"I have come to learn that," he teased. "I am sorry for being that rude in front of Clint and his friends last night," he apologized. "You two being friends must be getting pretty serious, if you are meeting his friends," Jeff teased.
"Can you be serious friends?" She asked curiously, as it wasn't something she has ever really heard before.
"You know, I am not sure," Jeff laughed. "But things must be good between you two, right?" Jeff asked, not wanting to threaten anyone's life, he would do it to protect his little sister, no questions asked, unless she told him otherwise.
"They are good," she smiled. "There are times that I want to say hell with it and start dating him, and other times I can't do that because I have this whole mess with Hunter hanging over my head," she sighed, telling him the truth. It happened to be the first time she voiced said thoughts and she thought about talking with Seb, but she needed her brother at the moment.
"Why do you think that Hunter is hanging over head and haunting you in any future relationship?" Jeff asked, wanting to help her out the way he always did when she came to him.
"Because he hurt me by cheating on me," she said, biting the corner of her lip. "And I do feel like every guy after him is going to do the same thing and I can't take my heart getting broke again."
"If your heart can break it means it can be fixed," Jeff rattled off, getting Onyx to roll her eyes at him. "Not every guy is Hunter, Onyx."
"I know this," she sighed, licking her suddenly dry lips. "And at the moment I trust Clint, greatly. But I don't want things to change if I do date him, which at this point is inevitable."
"You are still planning on talking to Hunter, right?" He checked, wanting to make sure she hasn't changed her mind about talking to Hunter. He did think she needed to talk to him to move past it all.
"I am going to talk to Hunter later this afternoon. A talk that I am dreading, greatly," she confessed. "I don't want to fight with him and I have this feeling that fighting is going to be unavoidable at this point," she sighed.
"You have to remember to stay calm in the thick of it," he stated, giving her a very pointed look. "And if you want to move on with Clint, that is totally up to you."
"I know it is," she said. "But I don't want to move on too fast and ruin a good thing and I don't want to wait forever and never make that commitment either," she explained. "I was with Hunter for a year, and I just don't know when the right time to move on is," she told him. "There are days that I do feel ready, but days that I think I am rushing into everything and I don't want that. I want to be a hundred percent ready," she finished explaining.
"As much as I want to be the one to tell you that you are ready to move on from Hunter or telling you that you're not ready, I can't do that for the simple fact I am not you. As confusing as it all is for you, it will make sense and you will know the right time to move on from him. But Onyx there is nothing wrong with being single and enjoying being friends with Clint for the time being," Jeff assured her.
"I know," she smiled. "I hate that a broken heart is this hard to move on from," she sighed.
"I know it doesn't seem like much, but you are going to be stronger for going through this. And honestly, I didn't know that you were still feeling this way. You've covered it up so well," he told her.
"Really?" She asked, holding her cast up for him to see. "When did I seem like I was okay to you?"
"Obviously, you let yourself get the better of you and that is okay," he said. "But you haven't been moping around and instead acting as if it's been any other breakup," he explained.
"It's not any other breakup though," she frowned. "I have no reason to mope around. I know that I love Hunter and I don't think I will every stop loving him completely. Why should I waste my tears on him when he couldn't have the decency to consider me before hooking up with his new girlfriend?"
"Point taken," Jeff agreed. "If Hunter causes too much of a problem with you, let me know, please," he begged his sister.
"I will," she smiled. "And I really hope he doesn't give me too much trouble," she sighed. She is ready to have this talk with him, she just wasn't ready for the uncertainty that it would bring along with it as well or any lingering feelings that were going to be there. And as ready as she is, she doesn't know how she is going to feel when he reveals the reason behind his cheating. She's not ready for any of his words to hurt her. Not that she could be certain that her words wouldn't hurt him in the process of it all.
"When it comes to Hunter that is really hard to know," Jeff said, feeling for his sister in that moment.
"I do know that," she nodded, taking an extra long drink of her watered down iced coffee. "I think have your in if you still want to try your hand at being a radio DJ," she suggested.
"Who?" He questioned cautiously. Not all of his sisters contacts were people he wanted to associate with.
"You remember Rory?" She asked, getting a small nod. She rolled her eyes knowing he didn't remember him at all. "The guy I dated for two months before getting together with Hunter. The guy I brought to your St. Patrick's day party here at the bar. The Irish guy; does any of that remind you of him?"
"I remember the guy, Onyx," Jeff laughed. "I didn't realize you were still friends with him," he frowned.
"We are," she smiled. "I can talk to him and see if he is willing to help you out. That is, if you want me to, that is," she suggested. She wasn't about ready to step over any lines that Jeff didn't want her to be doing.
"It wouldn't hurt," Jeff smiles at the prospect of it.
"Give me a few days and I can talk to him and I can have him stop by the bar and you can talk to him."
The siblings spent the rest of the morning talking like they used to before she needed to head off to have her chat with Hunter. They did leave the bar to go to pizza joint for lunch, conversation never lacking between the siblings. Jeff dropping her off at Hunter's building, reminding her to call him of she needed a lift home and her brother.
She nervously knocked on his apartment door. It might just be that time to give him back the key he had trusted upon her within a few months of dating. A key she didn't need any longer, no matter what was to come once she was done talking with her ex. She didn't need to have a reminder of things she no longer had, instead she wanted to look forward to not only her future but what her present held for her.
"Onyx, hey," Hunter greeted. "I didn't know you were here," he commented, opening the door for her to enter. He knew that she would be coming over, she had sent him a text stating when she would be over. He didn't hear the buzzer go off to let her in.
"Uh yeah, hey," she said, holding his key out to him. "You can have this little gem back," she shrugged, moving further into his apartment, with the key firmly in his hand. An apartment she used to spend a lot of her time in, she did notice her suitcase by the door. "That my stuff?" She asked nodding to said suitcase.
"Yes," he nodded, pocketing the key she gave him. "I didn't have the heart to toss it out," he shrugged. He may have been heartless enough to cheat on her on their one year anniversary no less, but he didn't have the strength to toss her stuff in the trash. Even if he thought his stuff ended up in a burn pile somewhere.
"If you stop by the apartment tomorrow you can grab what I have of yours. I honestly didn't think to bring the stuff with me," she shrugged, moving to sit on his couch. "Bree not here?" She asked, looking around, seeing that nothing has changed in the last few weeks that she hasn't been around. Seeing no sign of Bree relaxed her greatly, as she wasn't looking forward to having any interactions with her.
"And here I was just thinking that you happened to burn my things. You and Sebastian having a good ol' time while doing so," he joked.
"I may have been tempted to do just that," she replied with a small laugh. "But no, they are in a box, safe from Seb," she let him know.
"That is good to know," he responded. "And no, she isn't here. Things with Bree didn't exactly work out," he said, joining her in the living room. "I do think that I need to take a few weeks and maybe work on me. And it's no big deal, I can easily stop by tomorrow as long as you make sure Seb isn't around. I don't think that I am the guys favorite person right about now," he let her know. And he didn't want to be getting into any fights with the guy over getting his things back. Sebastian had always been more of Onyx's friend than his friend, he never saw the appeal while kids but now that he had been her friend and dated her for a year, he really couldn't imagine his life without her in it in any shape or form. And he was the one to ruin their happily ever after so he would have to settle for being friends if she could forgive him.
"You are right about that," she nodded in agreement. As much as Seb wanted her to talk things out with Hunter he was still apprehensive about it all, not wanting him to hurt her worse. "Nothing wrong with taking time for you, Hunter." It is the same thing she is doing with regard to Clint. Not wanting anything she could potentially have with him ruined because she wasn't ready for it. "What exactly happened with Bree? You two seemed pretty close," she said softly, picking at the stupid ugly cast.
"Everything," Hunter sighed, running a hand through his hair, it was a matter he just didn't want to be going through with Onyx for various reasons. "How is the arm?" He asked nodding to the cast she sported.
"I go back in two weeks and it will be decided on then if I need to keep it on for another month or if it can come off," she shrugged, wanting the cast off now as she hated it. "Itches like hell," she commented, twisting her arm around, laughing softly at some of the things that were written from her friends and even Clint's friends before they left the bar last night. Not even mentioning the crude images drawn in places. Those would need to be covered again on Monday. "Not that it is anything new," she laughed, recalling her broken leg. One thing is for sure, having a broken arm is so much better than a broken leg.
"Your brother was pissed after that stunt on Jesse's bike. I really thought Jeff would get locked up for murder," Hunter chuckled.
"Jeff is a tad overprotective," she commented. "He would still beat you up if I told him too," she stated, eyes drifting away from her cast to elsewhere in the apartment.
"I figured that out," he nodded. "That was the only time I ever cheated on you, Onyx and I regret it greatly," he told her. "I am so sorry," he apologized. "I never set out to hurt you," he told her digging right in to what they needed to be talking about. His actions with Bree are his biggest regrets in life.
"You knew by hooking up with her that it was going to hurt me and you still went ahead and did it. Why didn't you just tell me that things weren't working out for you, Hunter?" She asked him.
"Is that why you think I cheated on you?" He asked, getting up and disappearing into his room, leaving Onyx alone for a few minutes while she hears him ruffling around in the bedroom.
"If that wasn't the reason than why did you cheat?" She questioned loudly, making sure he heard her question. What other reason could there be?
"Because I was feeling like you'd say no, when I asked you a question and presented this to you," he commented, thrusting a black velvet box into her face. She slowly took the box from him, her eyes wide, her mind screaming at her that it couldn't possibly be what it clearly is.
"What is this?" She asked, her mouth becoming dry at the prospect of what the box held as it grew heavy in her hand.
"Open and find out," he urged her on.
Slowly she lifted the lid of the box up to reveal a very gorgeous diamond engagement ring set in 14k white and yellow gold with a brilliant-cut center stone. With brilliant-cut accent diamonds.
"You cheated on me because you didn't think that I would marry you?" She asked, shutting the lid on the box, placing it on the coffee table. "Do you know how crazy that sounds?"
"It is not that crazy. I had been trying for six months to get you to move in here with me and you always told me that it wasn't a good time. And to wait until after school was out. It always felt like you kept one foot out the door ready to run when you didn't like what we had going on. What else was I to think?" He asked her, his emotions starting to get the best of him.
"That I didn't want to move during the school year because I have enough going on with my classes that I didn't need to add more stress if I happened to lose things while moving," she stressed out. "If you had shown up for our anniversary dinner, you would have known that I was going to move in with you on the weeks that I had nothing planned before I started tutoring for the summer," she stated, getting up to pace. "I was all in with you, Hunter," she stated, shaking her head. She loved the guy, still loves him. There was no place she wanted to be then right there with him at all possible times.
"All in? It really screamed that you were all freaking in, Onyx," he laughed, shaking his head. "I swear there were times that Sebastian knew more about our relationship than I knew. How does that work?" He questioned her.
"You have lost it," she laughed. "Seb has never known more about our relationship than you did," she rolled her eyes. "I loved you, Hunter, heck I still love you," she let slip, falling into one of the few leather chairs he has in his living room. "And if for a second I thought things could work out between us, then maybe I would think about getting back together with you. But I can't trust you and all we can ever be again is friends." And being friends is going to be a long road.
"I've never stopped loving you," he said. "The main reason Bree left, she was such a huge reminder on what I did to you that I couldn't stand to look at her. Would I love to have another chance with you? I would be crazy not to. But you are right, I broke your trust in me and that is something that we can't move past." Onyx nodded in agreement.
"I never meant to make you think that I was only half into the relationship," she sighed, licking her lips. "Did I really only seem half into the relationship?" She asked.
"Not at first," Hunter said, shaking his head, finally taking a seat once more. "It wasn't until the last few months that you seemed detached and above the relationship. It really seemed like you were waiting for the other shoe to drop," he explained.
"I didn't even realize that I was doing it," she sighed. "That was never the case, Hunter. And I am sorry that I made you feel like that."
"It's honestly okay," he told her. "I am sorry about my behavior on the sidewalk, and in front of your moms. That was the old me rearing my ugly head."
"Yes, it was," she easily agreed. "I do appreciate it, Hunter. And now I am still feeling like an ass for making you feel like I wasn't in the relationship for the half of it," she said, not sure how she ever came across that way knowing for a fact that she did put Hunter first on many occasions. "But I will not take the fault for you cheating. On the day you were planning on asking me to marry you, after spending a year of our lives together, to me that still screams wrong on so many levels no matter the reasons why."
"Who in the hell is blaming you, Onyx?" Hunter asked, getting annoyed with her for even thinking that.
"No one is yet, but it will only be a matter of time before it falls onto me," she hissed out. "You cheating falls on you and not being man enough to tell her no."
"I take full responsibility for my actions, Onyx. Not that anything can ever be your fault, can it?" He questioned her with humorous laugh.
"And here is the ass that has gone nowhere," she sarcastically stated. "I take fault for a lot of things, when it is my doing. You are the one that felt insecure about our relationship so you had to jump the first female that gave you as much attention as Bree did."
"And you're not jumping at the bit with what's his face from the bar?" He shot back.
"Clint?" She questioned, getting the affirmative from Hunter. "He is a friend, who I happened to go to school with for two years. I have not slept with him."
"And you expect me to believe that?" He mocked laughed.
"Believe what you want, Hunter. I know the truth," she stated getting up. "I do wish you the best, Hunter. Come by around 3 to get your belongs." She wasn't entirely sure what she still had of his buried beneath things in her closet.
"As I wish you the best, Onyx," he sighed, getting the door for her once she had her suitcase.
"For the record, I would have said yes had you asked me instead of being balls deep inside Bree," she said solemnly, heading for the stairs.
It wasn't until she was outside on the sidewalk, realizing she didn't have a ride home. Without her car, that meant she either needed to take a bus, call a taxi, or call a friend as Hunter lived on the opposite side of town and she wasn't about ready to walk, as Jeff had dropped her off.
"You look like someone that could use a lift." She smiled, walking towards the car.
"How'd ya know?" She asked, getting the suitcase in the backseat before claiming the passenger seat.
"I didn't," he told her. "Ever since you told me what time you'd be talking to Hunter, I've been driving around the block every five minutes seeing if I missed you coming out, as I did park where I could see the front entrance," he cheekily replied.
"Stalker much?" She teased, buckling her seat belt.
"More like caring best friend," he playfully smirked. She rolled her eyes good naturally at him.
"Where would I be without you Sebastian Smythe?" She asked with a laugh.
"Lots of places," he laughed, driving them in the direction of home. "How was it?"
She told him every little detail about the time spent with Hunter, about what had been said. And how he would be stopping by tomorrow to get his stuff and how she would need him gone, not that she wanted to be kicking him out of his place but she didn't want a fight on her hands either.
"I'm sorry, Seb. But I do think you being gone when he shows up would be a benefit for all of us, as I don't need you to be saying the wrong thing to him and have a right break out," she explained to him.
"I am not leaving, Onyx. I will keep myself in my room while he gets his shit, but I will not appease him and make his life easier when he has made your life a living hell these past few weeks. It doesn't work that way," he commented, standing his ground.
"Okay, but you need to stay in your bedroom, unless I need you, got it?" She asked, accepting his terms over the terms Hunter wanted.
"Got it," Seb smiled. "Do you think your commitment issues with Hunter stems from your dad and his problems of going through wife's?" He asked, now that he had a chance to think it over coming to a stop sign.
"Why would it?" She asked. What her dad did with his life had no effect on any of her relationships. She didn't have a fear of her relationships ending because her dad couldn't make any of his last because he was quick to fall in love and even quicker to fall out of love. That wasn't her, she was careful who she fell in love with because of her dad's reputation with love.
"Think about it, Onyx," he prompted. "You were with him a year and he never got a key to our place even though he got a key for you; he asked you to move in countless times and yet you could never make that move; you've been hesitant to move forward with him because you have seen how fast any relationship can end because of your front row seat to your dad's ongoing problem with countless relationships."
"Huh, so it was obvious that I was half in the relationship with Hunter. I didn't see it," she told him with a deep sigh.
"You were blind, sweetie," Seb told her. "But think about it for a minute and I do think you will see that everything you saw your dad go through has put this damper on you falling into a love that can last," he told her pulling into his parking space.
"Maybe you are right," she conceded. It is something that she needed to think about, a lot more in a very serious manner. Seb may actually be onto something that she never thought about. And it wasn't just her dad's actions towards love that could be playing a part of her being afraid to move forward in any relationship, her mom could get marry to Lidia but yet they remain dating. "What if my parents love life ruined my love life?" She asked dead serious upon entering their home, scared of the notation of that prospect.
"Sweetie," Seb said, pulling her into hug. "That isn't the case, not entirely. You wanted to move forward with Hunter but in your own time and that is something that Hunter couldn't wait for or even understand. Maybe let your next boyfriend, Clint," he said with a smirk. "Know that you need to take your time and go at a pace that you are comfortable with. And he will respect you and the boundaries you put on the relationship."
"You make it sound like I am going out tomorrow after Hunter shows up to make Clint my new boyfriend. And that is not the case because I need to figure out me now that I have issues to deal with," she muttered.
"Honey, you've had issues since before we were friends. Your issues are going nowhere fast," he teased. She glared at him. "Onyx, take what time you need to move on from Hunter and fix you, I'm not rushing you through that process. I just want you to be happy and Clint makes you happy, a happy I haven't seen since Mason," he explained, squeezing her a bit harder in their hug.
"I was happy with Hunter," she protested. She wouldn't have been with him for a year if she was anything but happy.
"I'm not saying you weren't happy with him, just not overly happy, excited to see him, can't stop thinking about him, happy," he clarified.
"Is that the happy you get around Mikki?" She questioned him then. She needed to think about the happiness she felt with Hunter to the happiness she felt with Mason and see what the difference had been. Maybe she would take in consideration of the happy she felt for Clint as well.
"Like you wouldn't believe," he smiled goofily.