Next day, I stand outside a small building named Steele furnishings. I go inside the receptionist she eyeing me. I ask her for Ana Steele's office, she directs me to the seventh floor which is also the top floor.
There is a desk where a good looking woman is seated maybe Ana's assistant.
I go to her and ask for the appointment in the name of Grey. She leads me to an empty office which is quiet a mess. Maybe artists are messy. There is no one in here and I see glitter and crayons behind the desk then I see her, she is trying to clean it.
I think she notices my presence as she speaks
"Mr.Grey. a moment please this is such a mess. My kids."
Her kids? She has children. I am rooted at my place I just can't move.
"She stands up without looking at me she places the notebooks on the desk and moves towards a door and opens it.
"Which one of you has done this?" She asks raising a notebook in her hand.
"Mama" the kids shout open excitedly.
"No, not this time. I am asking who has done this?"
The kids giggle, making her smile.
"Baby, this is not a colouring book. These were the designs. Phoebe, you already have tons of books for colouring."
"Mama" comes a cry.
"Don't cry baby girl. Just remember not to mess with mommy's work stuff. I will buy you more colouring books.And we will go grocery shopping today. Ted take care of her."
Ted, huh her boyfriend. He is in there. It just wants me to go there and punch him in his face
"Okay, momma."
"My boy, and if you feel warm or tired come outside and tell me whether I am working or not."
Ted is her son. Oh I feel so stupid right now.
But she definitely has a boyfriend, hence the kids.
"Okay. I lub you."
"I love you too baby boy"
She closes the door and flips through the pages of the notebook looking at it in dismay, she keeps it on the table and speaks
"Mr.Grey, I am really sorry. My children have coloured the designs. I will make new ones at the earliest possible. And according to your needs. Please sit."
And that's when she looks at me. She is rooted at her spot just like me. She cannot move. After a minute of silence. I finally speak.
"Ana"
"Christian" she breathes.
She remembers me. Ofcourse she cannot forget me. I was her first.
"Nice to see you."
She sees me as if I am a mythical creature.
"Ssame here." She stutters
"So, you have kids." It's more of a statement than a question
"Yeah."
"How old are they?"
"1 year nine months"
"And the another?"
"They are twins"
If my calculations are correct It means she got pregnant during the winter break after she met me. I was not able to sleep as I was excited to see her after the break and she got home and fucked someone else also he got her pregnant.
"What are their names?"
"Theodore and Phoebe"
"You named them after my grandparents?"
"Yes, I wanted their names to have some part of yours"
Mine? Why mine!? Is this some way to pay respect to me for taking her virginity!?
"Why a part of my name?"
"Listen, I don't know what you are interpreting of this situation and obviously I know whatever it is it does not have you in it. But reality is not the same."
Whoa. Wait. What?
Are they mine? No they can't be. We used protection.
"You think they are mine?"
"No Christian, I know they are yours. I have never been with anyone except you. See this is not an easy conversation to have and definitely the timing is bad..."
She rambles on but I cannot hear a word.
She has never been with anyone else.
Oh, neither have I been. I just could not.
They are mine.
Mine.
"We used a condom." I say cutting her off
"Yeah and it failed. They aren't really a reliable method of birth control."
Fuck. I am mad but at whom. At myself ofcourse. It's my fault.
"Why didn't you tell me?"
"I uh I wanted to tell you but... I was scared."
Scared! I knew I had scared her with my revelations. Fuck.
"Scared of me?"
"No... Not of you. It's just that... I..."
"When did you know?"
"After that night, when I went home, I was due near New Year. But my period never came. Then I got a test and it was... you know... positive. Then I got a doctor's appointment and I learnt they were twins. I could not bring myself to..." She starts crying inconsolably. I don't know what to do so I go to her and hold her in my arms like I did all this time ago while she cries in my chest. She feels so right in my arms Finally when her cries subside she lifts her head and looks at me with such sadness that it makes my heart feel low.
" I.. I... am so so so sorry Christian. I didn't mean to keep them from you or anything as such b..but I.. I couldn't bring myself to face you just after the holidays. I.. I was scared that you may talk me into abortion or would not want them. I decided to talk to you after giving birth and I went back but you were not there anymore and then I remembered that you wanted to drop out. I didn't know your last name or any such information about you. I could not reach you. I tried, god knows how hard I tried to find you. I thought maybe if you look at them, you would want them but I could not reach you. Even if it was just to tell you. I am sorry. I know how hard I try to apologise it will always be less but I am sorry. "
I am stunned. She tried to find me. She wanted me.
"You should've come to me." I say shaking my head more to myself than her.
"I know but I was scared maybe you wouldn't want them and get me to abort them." She cries again.
What kind of monster she thinks I am. I would never kill a child. Let alone my own flesh and blood.
"I wouldn't have done that."
"How could I know that, no boy wanted children in college, what would make you any different."
"Ana, I am sorry if I ever gave you that impression."
"You didn't, it was just that I thought maybe you are like all of the other boys."
"So, it was not me and my fucked up past that turned you away?"
"No, Never. I felt sorry for you and I was glad you told me everything about yourself. I was happy that you could trust me enough to tell me about your pain."
"I thought I was too much for you to handle and that you left me."
"No I wanted to meet you again after the holidays and I was very excited but... it is what it is."
I have missed too much of my children's life.
I want to know them and Ana.
And most importantly I want them to know me. To want me. As I want them.
Too short especially after the last chapter but honestly I can't write very long chapters with very small details.
Please do review.