Leilani

We played a different game on Monday. I sat between Emmett and Jasper as we raced on motorcycles. I leant forwards, hands gripping the bars as I just about scraped first place for most of the lap.

Getting up and actually making my way into the City had been a challenge. For some reason things didn't feel right. I couldn't explain why, everything just felt wrong. As if everything around me was terrible, as if the world was terrible and no one was acting like anything was different. They were just going about their days. Emmett was grinning as he weaved between the traffic. I felt sick.

On the second race, I was even worse. My hands were trembling as I held on even tighter. With every breath I watched as my time slipped back. And just before the finish line, I saw Emmett overtake me, howling in triumph.

My heart was racing. I sat back, everything tilting as a wave of dizziness hit me. Swinging my leg over the bike, I mumbled "I've gotta go," before walking as fast as I could to the exit.

"Wait. Leilani?" Jaspers concerned voice called out after me, but it was too late. I couldn't go back. I couldn't let them see me like this. What was wrong with me?

Taking quick breaths, I pelted down the escalator and out of the shopping centre. Even outside, my lungs couldn't get enough air. I put my hand over my heart, which was aching badly. Looking around in panic, I didn't know where to go. I didn't know if I was even able to go anywhere. Spying a bench around the corner, I rushed over to it and sat down, trying to take large short breaths. My vision clouded as my eyes filled with tears. I held onto the wooden seat of the bench with my numb hands, leaning forwards. Why was this happening?

"Leilani?" It was Jasper. Fuck.

If I wasn't so afraid, I would have told him to go away. I couldn't look at him. "I- can't- breathe," I choked out. One of the tears slid down my cheek. God, I was such a mess. I'd probably never see him or Alice or Emmett again now they'd know how bad I was. I couldn't have hidden it from them. Not even for a week.

"It's ok," he said, sitting down beside me.

No, it's not. It's not ok, I wanted to cry. Furiously, I brushed my tears away.

"Close your eyes," Jasper said, gently. "Try and slow down your breathing. Everything's fine. Everything's ok."

He was wrong, although I did as he said. At least with my eyes shut I wouldn't be able to see if any passers by were staring at me. I continued taking deep breaths, trying to hold them so they'd last longer.

Gradually, I no longer felt so sick, though my hands were shaking in my lap. "I'm sorry," I mumbled. "I don't know what happened, I'm sorry."

"Please don't apologise. It's totally fine. Everything's ok."

"I'm not usually a sore loser, I swear." I tried making a joke to break the tension.

"I know that's not the reason why. But you don't have to tell me, unless you want to."

"Thank you," I whispered. I wouldn't even know how to explain why I'd had a meltdown. There was no way I could put it into words.

Slowly I opened my eyes again. Jasper was watching me, a comforting smile on his face. The longer we looked at each other, the more I felt that his words had been genuine. Maybe I would see him again?

"Hey, are you ok, Leilani?" Emmett stood a few feet away with a water bottle in hand. "I'll let you win next time, promise!"

I giggled, "Please don't. I'm ok."

"Alright," he held out the bottle for me. "I got this for you."

"Thanks, Emmett."

"No problem," he looked to Jasper who was still sitting next to me. "Alice said she'll meet us at the movies. And she begged me to bring you, Leilani."

I took a sip of water. "You guys are going to the cinema?"

"Apparently," said Jasper. "What are we even seeing?"

Emmet shrugged, "Beauty and the Beast, I think?"

Jasper looked at me, "Do you want to go?"

I hesitated. Part of me wanted to go home and lie down and cry and hope for the Earth to swallow me. Although I did want to see the film. Plus, it was in the dark and no one would be talking or anything. I could probably get away with crying silently if I needed to, or sneak off into the bathroom for ten minutes.

"Seriously, I think Alice will sad if you don't."

"Ok," I gave in, standing up. "Why not."

Alice squealed when she saw me and bounced over across the lobby. "I'm so happy you came!" she cried. "I already got the tickets, and it starts in five minutes."

"Oh," I opened my shoulder bag, bringing out my purse to pay her back.

Alice waved me off, "No, no. I'm good. Save it for snacks." She smiled.

I nodded. "Thanks, Alice." I'd have to pay her back sometime. Maybe I could get her dinner.

As I queued up to get a bag of chocolate, I could hear the three of them laughing and talking and I felt so grateful that they wanted to hang out with me. They were so kind. I'd been so lucky. Too bad they were so unlucky to have me.

In the cinema Alice sat at the end of the row by the isle, and I was next to her between her and Jasper, with Emmett on Jasper's other side. The lights dimmed and I began eating my chocolates, letting myself forget everything and just be in the moment in the French fantastical village.

Later on, I caught Jasper looking at me, and I smiled at him for a moment in the darkness, before we both continued watching the movie.

I was engrossed for a while, enjoying the music. At some point I was aware someone was coming back in and walking up the steps in the isle on the other side of the theatre. There was a small thump and they disappeared as if they'd tripped, though they seemed fine as they stood up again.

Jasper stood up. Suddenly Emmett had grabbed his arm and they both stumbled towards them and down the steps to the exit. I put my hands on the arm rests of my seat, pushing myself up so I could see what was happening. What was happening? Why were they being so weird?

I glanced at Alice, but she didn't seem to notice. She was just watching the movie and swaying her head and shoulders to the music. I tried to forget about it. Maybe I could ask them what that was all about after the movie.

Except they never came back.

"Where's Jasper and Emmett gone?" I asked Alice as the credits rolled.

She checked her phone, frowning at the screen. "Jasper had an appointment he forgot about. I guess Emmett went with him."

"Ok," I replied slowly. It made sense but it just seemed very weird when they jumped up in the middle of the film and Emmett had seemed to half drag Jasper out of the cinema. It was none of my business, I supposed.

When I checked my own phone, I saw I didn't have any messages. It seemed strange he hadn't even said goodbye. Neither of them had. Maybe they didn't want to. Maybe I had misunderstood everything.

"I'd better go, Alice. Thanks so much for hanging out. It was great." I told her, standing up.

"Anytime," she jumped up next to me. "If you ever need anything, Leilani, just message me, ok?"

I smiled, "Thanks."

As soon as I walked away my smile dropped. I didn't know what to think. If he'd wanted to say goodbye, surely, he would have. Then what was with earlier? And looking at each other during the movie? Maybe he changed his mind. He must have changed his mind.

This was too complicated. I thought about messaging him as I sat at the back of the bus. What was the appointment for? Why was I thinking about it so much?

I didn't have any dinner. I should be buying it myself with the pay from my non-existent job. And I just wanted to disappear.

Sitting on the window-seat in my room, I pulled the curtains closed so I was in my own little bubble between the fabric and the glass. There was no one outside, and the only light was the illumination from my phone screen. Until I turned that off, too, burying my face in my knees.

Jasper

Nothing mattered. Venom pooled in my mouth as the scent of fresh blood hit me. All the work I'd done over the past seventy years meant nothing to me now. My throat burned with hunger.

I sprung to my feet, ready to throw myself forwards at my prey, if not for the huge barrier. Emmett gripped onto my arm and wouldn't budge. He stared me down, shaking his head slowly. "Jas, no."

I pushed against him, another breath sending me a century back into the thick of blood lust and thrill of satisfaction. My throat was on fire.

Emmett used my pressing forward to guide me to the end of the isle and then half dragged, half pushed me into the double doors at the exit. I could still smell it outside.

"Come on, man." Emmett put a hand on my shoulder, pulling me outside.

I took a deep breath to clear the scent from my senses. There was human food – fast food, cigarette smoke, car fuel. I began to relax, the burning in my throat ebbing away to a dull haze.

"What would I do without you?" I said to Emmett.

He shrugged. "Kill the whole town?"

I rolled my eyes. I never used to try and laugh it off until we became friends and brothers. He had showed me that it was much better just to go with it. That person was safe now. I hadn't killed them. I hadn't hurt them. Everyone was fine. And as long as I'd have someone there the next time, I'd be fine then, too.

"I need to hunt," I said.

Emmett nodded with enthusiasm. "Yeah. You look like you're about to go on a rampage."

On the way, I sent a message to Alice, asking her to make something up for me. Hopefully Leilani would understand.