A/N:

And we're back with an new chapter! I'm slowly getting back into the swing of writing after my unplanned hiatus. Last time, we had lots of fun and feels. Now, we have the aftermath. I hope this addition to the story is worth the wait.

My thanks to kt_valmiri for soundboarding.

Damlone, Blueberryandhoney, and Cimar for beta reading

OnceNeverTwiceAlways for editing

My special thanks to all of you for reading and giving feedback so far. If you want to support Pigment & Clay or my other writing, a link to my Ko-fi account is in my profile.

And now, on to the show!

The days following the scene were a blur of mixed up emotions and adrenalin. She felt effervescent and bubbly to the point of distraction, as her sister pointed out the morning after. There was excitement, giddiness, and that particular sense of getting away with something that came with doing something naughty. However, those rose-tinted feelings boiled off over time leaving other, less savory emotions in their place. Anxiety, guilt. Even a little remorse—which was strange as she'd done nothing inappropriate herself and couldn't name a single thing she regretted. Even the most risqué parts of the event had been fairly tame—it had been exciting, yes, but not pornographic. On top of that, she was confused.

Throughout her, admittedly short, acquaintanceship with her new circle of friends, she'd heard plenty about their unusual relationships. Seeing them in action had been…challenging. Judy wasn't unfamiliar with relationships. She'd had a handful in high school and college. None had lasted terribly long or been very satisfying, but she wasn't a blushing innocent. She was a rabbit. Familiarity with that side of life was unavoidable with three-hundred relatives living in the same warren. She'd walked in on too many of her siblings to count, for one thing.

Sadly, familiarity with the act wasn't enough in this case. She had same-sex-oriented siblings of both genders—transgender, asexual, non-binary, and gender-fluid siblings, too. None of it really threw her. This, however, was new. The strange emotional dynamic of her new friends was hard for her to grasp and seemed like it shouldn't work, but it did for them. Hearing about it from Jack, Nick, and Skye was one thing, but seeing them all together brought the whole thing home to Judy and left her feeling like she'd waltzed with a whirlwind.

After four days of classes and increasing emotional discomfort, Judy finally had a break in her schedule and tracked Jack down. Finding him at his favorite café taking tea was a matter of a phone call and a twelve-minute walk from her apartment. Seeing her, Jack beckoned Judy to sit opposite him where a cup and saucer was waiting next to a plate of pastries and biscuits.

"Judy! To what do I owe this delightful surprise?" Then, seeing her expression, he amended, "Are you well?"

"I…. Yes." Failing to meet his eyes, she slipped into her seat. "I'm not sure, Jack. I'm feeling…lousy."

The hare hummed and filled her cup. "You're dropping."

"I am?"

He nodded calmly. "It's common after a scene."

Judy shook her head. "But I wasn't involved. I was just watching."

"You still experienced it, didn't you? You weren't directly involved in the scene, but it caused an emotional reaction, yes?"

"Well, yeah. How could it not?"

"Then, you're dropping." Jack sipped his tea and moved a Danish from the tray to her plate. "You rode a largely emotional high and now it's worn off, so you're hurting a little for it. It'll pass with a little time and some aftercare."

Judy nodded. "Comforting foods, environment, and company."

"Well remembered." Jack lifted his cup in salute and sipped again. "That's not all, though, is it?"

"No…"

"What's wrong?"

"It's stupid," Judy said to her paws.

"I guarantee you it isn't," he countered.

She snorted and grumbled, "How could you know?"

"Jealousy never is."

She goggled. "How did you know?"

Jack shrugged. "What else could it be?"

"Wow," She commented bitterly. "I really am that transparent, aren't I?"

The buck smiled kindly. "You're young and experiencing new things. For you, it's new and strange. For me, it's old-hat."

Judy looked up from her paws and met Jack's eyes. "And that's what confuses me."

He blinked. "I beg your pardon?"

"How do you do it?" Hesitation gone, Judy's words became a flood. "I'm jealous as hell from watching Nick tie someone he has a long-standing relationship with and I've only known him for a few months. I'm not even in a relationship with him!"

"I see."

"How do you do it?" She entreated. "How do you not lose your mind seeing him do things with Celeste that you don't get yourself?"

"Judy…" Jack hesitated. "This is not going to sound kind."

"Is this part of the getting over yourself thing?"

He took a fortifying breath. "Yes, but it's also part of being an adult."

The doe bristled at his words. "I don't like it already."

"I don't blame you, but, if you want to be a part of this strange little world we occupy, it's a lesson you need to take to heart." He shifted nervously in his seat. "The fact is, Judy, we don't all get what we want."

"I know that," Judy snapped.

"Do you? You have a crush on Nick. You barely know him." Jack lifted his cup to his lips.

Her tone turned accusing. "And you've been pining after him you whole life."

"In my own way, yes, I suppose I have. That doesn't change the fact that I probably won't ever have that kind of relationship with him." Jack set down his cup and waited while Judy chewed over her thoughts.

"Is that what's happening with you and Skye, too?" At that, Jack started as though he'd been slapped. "I'm sorry. That was a nasty thing to say."

"No, Judy." The professor sounded winded as he spoke. "I can see how you'd see it similarly, but you don't know the details. Alas, that is where the devils usually hide."

She held up her paws, feeling worse by the moment. "You don't have to tell me if you aren't comfortable. It's one of my business."

"And yet it is, in a way. You deserve to understand and you can't unless you know the whole story." Jack seemed to gather himself. "The reason Skye and I are not in a relationship is that I'm not ready. If I began one with her it would only end badly and I don't want that to happen."

Judy shook her head, uncomprehendingly. "Not ready? Why not?"

"Because I'm still mourning the death of my wife."

The bottom fall out of her stomach. Her teacup banged about in its saucer a bit harder than intended and the clatter caused the doe to flinch curse herself inwardly for her lack of verbal and physical grace. "Oh gods. I'm so sorry."

"It's alright." He smiled weakly. "The last six years or so have taken the sting out of it a little."

"What happened?"

"Cancer." He shrugged. "We were young, very much in love and unlucky. By the time they found it, she was too far along to treat. She was buried before our fourth anniversary." The melancholy buck stirred his tea absently for a moment. "The point is that Skye knows. She's impatient at times, but she knows I'm not ready. Right now, we play our roles and that has to be enough. Soon I'll be able to finally put that part of my life behind me. But I digress."

She felt ill but had to press. "I want to ask…"

Jack held up a paw, forestalling the rest of her statement. "Another time. I promise."

"So, your situation with Skye is different than mine with Nick and for good reason. I've only known him a little while and I get that, but I'm still jealous." Judy fidgeted in distress. "What do I do?"

"Accept it." The older lapin sighed. "Understand it and the limitations of your relationship. If you do end up his lover, he won't just stop being himself. His emotional issues, personality, and lifestyle will not change to suit your preferences. You will never have him all to yourself."

"I don't want him all to myself," Judy corrected. "I just want a chance to be more than…a…a..."

"Passing fancy?"

"That's better than the word I was thinking," she admitted.

Jack smiled in understanding. "I will say that he enjoys your company and he's shown more interest in you than he's shown to anyone in a long time. Beyond that…" He shrugged. "There are no guarantees either way, Judy."

Judy hugged herself. "This doesn't feel good, Jack."

"Your circumstances seem bleak because you're dropping." Jack placed a paw on her shoulder and squeezed gently. "You'll be back to your usual bubbly self soon. Go home and rest, do something that you find comforting. If you call Skye, she'd be happy to talk with you."

"Thanks, but I think I'll head home." She pushed her chair back and stood. "An early night and some junk food may do the trick."

"If not, don't hesitate to call. Skye, Nick, and I are all here for you."

She pulled herself together absently. "Thanks, Jack. See you."

Judy left the café with her tea untouched, feeling worse than when she'd arrived. When she'd asked to talk to Jack she hadn't intended to dredge up bad memories for him. She'd just wanted company, maybe some clarity. Now, she felt guilty for it.

She trudged along towards home, going the long way past the food trucks with the intent to pick up a cheap meal and head home, but stopped before she got there. She wasn't hungry. She didn't want to see Nick. That would only make things worse. Skye would be supportive, but she still felt bad for pushing Jack into telling her about their situation, so she was out. It7 was barely noon, so Alana had class and Ammy was at her work-study job. Despite her statement to Jack, Judy had no desire to go home and wallow. There was only one place left she could find solace.

When she was a kit, sometimes the only way she could get her feelings out was to paint them. Resolved, she made tracks to the studio.

Her easel was in the same place as always, with her paints and pallet as she'd left them. Her nearly-complete painting for mid-terms was dried and sitting to the side. Judy found a fresh canvas and pulled out her usual supplies, making sure she had plenty of everything she needed. The few pigments she was short on were signed out of the stockroom and her brushes were arranged before she turned to face her canvas.

It took effort to start. The first brushstrokes were painful, but, before long, momentum was on her side and an image began to emerge. She had no idea why, but as she had walked all she could see was her friends' faces, so that was what she put onto the canvas. The fear, resignation—the little moments of vulnerability and pain she had seen pass over their features. Celeste's stress, Jacks' melancholy, Skye's frustration, Nick's uncertainty, Alana's anxiety—they reflected her own emotions. So she drew on them, mixed them with her own jealousy as it swirled through her mind, and poured them onto the canvas to create a self-portrait in features not her own.

An few hours later, Judy felt better. Not wonderful, but much less awful. Her brushes were washed. The sun was sinking quickly, but she had something to do. Wasting no time, she located a painting case that would hold the new piece without touching the paint and loaded her painting for transport.

Twenty minutes later, she was rapping on the door to Nick's home. She was nervous, but resolved. When the door opened she was ready.

The red fox seemed surprised to see her. "Judy?"

"Hey. Um…. I have something for you."

Nick sat quietly in his studio, very much alone. It was his preferred state for viewing new artwork, and this one was worth taking the time to appreciate. Judy had only stayed long enough to hand him the art case and explain it was her latest piece—a gift for him. He'd thanked her and watched as she slipped out into the dimming light, headed home. It had been a touch concerning, but she assured him she was alright.

He'd moved to his studio and opened the case only to stop in surprise. With slow, deliberate movements Nick removed the still-wet painting from its container and set it to dry on a sheltered ledge. In the dying sunlight, he sat back on his uncomfortable little work stool and stared.

It was exquisite.

The brush strokes were unrefined, coarse. The composition was shaky. It was clearly the work of a student—a student who would go far. The depth of emotion conveyed in the paint was achingly intense. He could make out the features of the mammals that provided her inspiration and the turmoil she was hoping to express. This was her pain and confusion laid bare to him—the why and who, all plain as day for him to understand. It was no piece of art destined for a gallery wall, or museum collection. It was a work of art that only he and a handful of others would ever appreciate and that would never leave his possession. That was how Jack found him when the buck returned from his late class.

"Nicky." Jack's voice seemed weary. "I presume we are ordering in tonight?"

"Sorry, Jack. I meant to cook, but something came up."

"Oh?" Jack set his briefcase and jacket down on the dais before joining the reynard and setting eyes on the canvas. "Oh."

"Judy stopped by a while ago with this," Nick explained. "A gift for me, she said."

The buck chortled anemically. "I can't say I'm surprised. She met me for tea today."

"Ah."

"She was dropping." Jack sighed in frustration. "I tried to help, but I don't think I did a very good job of it."

"She was upset with you?" Concern flooded the fox's mind.

"No. Herself, I think." His tie slipped out of his collar with more force than necessary. "I told her about Emily."

Nick turned to look at his oldest friend in surprise.

Jack smiled ruefully. "I know."

"Jack…"

"I gave you my word. Once this sculpture is finished, I'll be ready to move on. I need to pay her one last tribute, and I'll be ready."

"Skye will be pleased," Nick teased gently.

"Yes." Jack chuckled softly. "It doesn't hurt when you tease like that anymore. I guess I really will be ready."

"Then, we have reason to celebrate." Nick clapped his paws. "Come on."

Jack paused with his jacket half off. "Where are we going?"

"To visit Andre."

Jack snorted. "Nicky, his place is not one we can just walk into."

"I do not intend to walk," Nick replied primly. "I intend to stroll."

In response, Jack crossed his arms and raised an eyebrow, waiting.

"I told Andre I would be taking you to dinner to celebrate sometime soon and he should reserve a table for us at all times." Nick grinned rakishly. "He agreed. Now, go freshen up while I get changed and warn him."

The hare's voice trembled. "You didn't have to."

"Of course not, but I did anyway," Nick retorted evenly. "Now, let's not waste this favor I've asked of our beloved corsac fox, shall we?"

In response, Jack walked over and wrapped his arms around his friend's chest. "Thank you."

Nick embraced him back briefly before disentangling himself from the hare and shooing him towards the door. "Go! We have dinner to get to."

"And a few things to discuss."

"Females, you mean."

"Among other things, Nick." Jack planted a kiss on his cheek and patted his shoulder before leaving the room.

As soon as the buck was gone, Nick went to his old rotary phone and placed a long-overdue call.

Judy woke the following morning feeling emotionally sore, but largely mended. She levered herself out of her bed just after dawn, showered quickly, and was finishing her breakfast when her sister dragged herself into the room.

"Mornin', Ammy."

The grunt she got in reply was surly at best.

"Didn't get much rest?" Judy's voice slipped into saccharine sarcasm. "Perhaps because you had too much coffee…. And fidgeted all night? Again?"

"Yeah, yeah," Amanda grumbled. "This detoxing stuff is for the birds."

Judy fixed her sister with an even gaze. "Better now than after a heart attack."

"Thank you, Judy," Amanda grumbled as she put the tea kettle on. "What are your plans for today?"

"Class. What else?"

Suddenly the younger Hopps was all grins. "With Professor Hot Stuff?"

"No," she replied blandly. "Just a watercolor workshop and Art History 414."

Ammy thought for a moment. "Females in the Avant-Garde movement?"

"Interesting class, but a little..." Judy searched for the right word.

"Tedious?" Amanda supplied.

"Repetitive. I've covered the same material twice already in other classes. But it's course credits and looks good for the master's program, so why not?"

"Any new 'assignments' from your boyfriend?" Amanda inquired cheekily.

Judy's phone took that opportune moment to chime. "Knowing my luck, that's him." A moment later she added, "And it is."

"You don't sound very enthusiastic about that, Jude."

"I'm not sure."

"What? Why?" The younger doe eyed her sister like she'd lost her mind. "Last I checked you were ready for anything and everything he could offer you."

Judy blushed deeply. "I didn't say I'd lost interest."

"Then, what has you so…despondent?"

"I'm not despondent. More like anxious." Judy pocketed her phone. "I guess you could say we're past the honeymoon stage."

"Judy…you're still in the 'getting to know you' stage." Ammy snorted. "Does Mister Fancy Fox have a flaw at last?"

"He's got plenty of flaws. This is just something that I'm having trouble with."

"Which is…?"

Judy stood and grabbed her rucksack. "Private."

"Fine. Don't tell me." Amanda huffed before hugging her sister. "You're a big girl, and you're entitled to your secrets. Just remember that I'm here to help you if you want to talk. And I won't tell mom."

"Unless she interrogates you."

Amanda shook her head. "She hasn't asked since break. Whatever you said to her must have worked. You may be in the clear. It's your call either way though."

"Thanks, Ammy." Judy gave her sister one last squeeze. "I'll think about it. I gotta run."

Outside the door, Judy pulled out her phone and opened the text she'd received. It was odd. She didn't think he owned a cell phone, but the text was definitely his.

When you're done for the day, stop by. We need to discuss a few things. -NW

For a giddy moment she wondered if he'd typed it out on an old flip-phone. The only communication device she had known the fox owned until now was a telephone as old as she was. It also didn't help matters. The simple fact was that he had one and now she had his number. For half a moment she was every teenager who'd been texted by their crush.

Was it a sign? What did it mean? It had to be a good thing. But he wanted to "talk". Was that a bad thing only when you were in a relationship? Weren't they already, sort of? They were more than acquaintances. Did that mean friends? They were also talking about kinky things, so was that more than friends? How much more? More more? Or just more? Or less?

He didn't think of relationships the same way she did, so that was a disconnect. Maybe that was what he wanted to talk about. Judy's anxiety began climbing again. It was eight-ten. Her workshop started in twenty-five minutes. Her one class of the day ended at three-fifty-five in the afternoon. That made it approximately eight hours until she would find out.

The longest, least productive eight hours of her life later, Judy found herself thrumming with nerves—again—at Nick's door. The theme was becoming troublesome in its consistency. Her workshop was effectively a bust and Art history 414 was agonizing in its tedium. She discovered that her anticipation was a very effective method for ruining her focus, even on topics she knew by virtual rote. She was positive she'd bombed her quiz in 414.

That left the rabbit in poorer spirits and higher tension than when she had left the house.

When Nick answered the door, his expression melted from expectant to concerned in a couple blinks. "Judy, are you well?"

"I'll be better once I know why I'm here," she replied tersely.

His head cocked in surprise. "It seems my message only served to upset you."

"Not upset. I've been distracted all day because of it and I wasn't feeling wonderful in the first place, so tanking a quiz in a throwaway class didn't help."

"Ah," the fox replied sheepishly. "I'm sorry about that. Technology and I don't get along very well, so I limit my use of it to necessities as much as I can."

Judy smiled, softening the atmosphere. "I admit I was surprised. I didn't know you had a cell phone."

"I own one of the infernal things." Nick grumbled in half-jest. "But I loathe it—Irritating, electronic pop-tarts, the lot of them."

She chuckled. "I see you and Maurice have that in common."

"One of the pillars of our friendship." He breathed a small sigh of relief. "Mutual loathing of personal electronics."

"So, why did you want to see me?"

"Ah." Nick led the way in to the kitchen. "Jack and I spoke yesterday. It was a rather involved conversation and one of the topics that came up was your reaction to the scene."

"He told you I was dropping." Judy couldn't help but feel put out with the buck.

"Yes. And I felt responsible, so I wanted to offer aftercare."

She paused mid-thought. "You what?"

"Want to offer aftercare. I know you understood me."

She tried not to sound too eager. "What did you have in mind?"

Now, it was Nick who chuckled. "Nothing lascivious, if that was where your mind went."

Judy shrugged and smiled a little brighter.

"As I don't know exactly what would work for you, I was going to offer a few staples. A warm blanket, a cup of hot tea, comforting words and affirmations…. Maybe a hug, as I know you're partial to them…"

"Yes please!" She squeaked out.

"So, you don't want to wait for me to mention the ear-stroking."

Judy felt said appendages heating up. "If you don't, I'll hurt you." She immediately slapped her paws over her mouth.

Nick burst into laughter.

Some minutes later, Judy was nestled into a particularly comfy spot on Nick's couch, wrapped in a blanket so soft it was criminal and sipping an herbal tea made up of rosehips, purple nettles, chamomile and dandelions, while Nick stroked her head and ears. It was bliss.

She hated to ruin it. "Nick…I have to ask."

"What's that?"

"Why didn't you offer Celeste aftercare after the scene?"

Nick smiled at her, seeming to convey how pleased he was that she'd asked a good question. "Part of my arrangement with her and her girlfriend is that Melanie, not I, provide the aftercare."

"Ok…?"

"Part of the follow up to the scene was her aftercare. Celeste is one of life's great extroverts. The social interaction was a huge help to her. When she got home, Melanie was no doubt all over the rest of it."

"Why wasn't she there for the event?" Judy inquired.

"Work. Melanie is a photographer striving to make a name for herself in the art world, but in the meantime she's doing portraits for infants."

Judy giggled. "But you can't do the aftercare."

"No. I can tie, torture, and tease." Nick snorted. "We even have the leeway to negotiate for sex in the scene, but once the scene is done—no matter what happens during the scene—Melanie gets the rest and it is none of my business. Her stipulation, not mine."

"I guess she takes her relationship seriously."

"She does."

The words were out of her mouth before she thought. "And how do you view relationships?"

"Oh! The bunny has a spine!" The fox seemed relieved to escape into jokes again.

Judy doubled down and ran with it. "Yep! I'm due some answers."

"I see how it is." Nick huffed in mock-dramatic form. "I give an inch and you walk all over me."

"I've read about that kink. Is that what you're into? Is it fun?" Judy asked with a cheeky blush spreading over her face.

"Sadly for your fem-dom fantasies, I'm not. But good to see you're enthusiastic in your research."

"So how do you view relationships?" she pressed.

The todd leaned back, allowing her to sit up and face him squarely, but he avoided her eyes. "The ones I have are fulfilling, and I enjoy them."

"Come on. You're still a young Reynard. You still have... other needs."

"Yes, Carrots. I do have a sex drive," Nick deadpanned.

Judy slapped her forehead. "And I'm trying to be tactful around people who have no shame."

"It's refreshingly wholesome, I'll admit," the fox grinned rakishly, and Judy felt her face warm again.

"Well?"

Nick paused for a moment. "You know what Jack has to deal with on campus, I presume? His admirers?"

"Yes. He gets quite a bit of attention, doesn't he?"

"My own problem is similar," Nick confided. "With a certain amount of fame comes…uncertainties."

"You talk about your reputation like it's…"

"Annoying? It can be.," Nick grumbled. "Judy, I'll be plain. Emotional investment isn't easy for me."

"I remember."

His face slid into a mou of distaste. "Now, how easy would you suppose it is for me to build emotional attachments when I'm not sure it's me they see."

Judy's head cocked at the incongruity. "Not you?"

"Fame, money, talent, blah blah blah…" Nick flapped his paws like ducks quacking. "Most of my 'relationships' spawn from my work, so what do they see? Me or my art?"

"That's what has you worried?"

"It may sound silly to you, but there it is." Nick shrugged in a defeated manner. "I outgrew short-term relationships a long time ago. One-night stands and single-use friendships don't interest me. Frankly, they do more harm than good. If I'm going to have a relationship with someone, I want to get something out of it that's worth the effort."

"So you avoid them." There was no question in her mind.

"I'm not adverse to the idea, but it's not something I actively pursue. I have my friends and play partners." Nick's expression lightened as the topic turned. "It's enough for the most part. I keep an eye peeled for the chance to have something more, but that's…"

"Difficult," Judy supplied.

"Indeed," Nick graced her with a sly, if tremulous, grin. "Which is why I've decided to ask you to dinner."

"You what?"

"You're guaranteed to not succeed if you never try." He seemed to steel himself. "Next week, so you have time to sufficiently panic. Maybe ask for advice from female friends or go shopping to solve out your wardrobe. Put together an outfit."

"You're cute when you're nervous."

"Is that a yes? Oor should I hurriedly excuse myself from the room to die quietly of embarrassment?" Judy noticed him flexing the tension out of his paws.

She couldn't help but ask, "Is this for real?"

His was back into his usual wry humor instantly. "I suspect that if you were dreaming we'd be wearing—and speaking—a lot less."

"As you've pointed out, I'm a healthy young female," Judy sassed right back. "It's only to be expected."

"Indeed." Nick's eyebrows rose fractionally. "Seeing you like this makes me wonder which one of us is the predator."

At that, Judy realized she was leaning forward, crouched in a posture similar to those she'd seen felines adopt before a pounce. "I remain unapologetic."

Nick burst into laughter as Judy sat back and giggled.

"Yes. I'll go to dinner with you, Nick. But I'll need details."

"You will get only the dress code." He held up a finger forestalling her. "The rest is a surprise."

Judy felt her heartrate spike. "So, what do I need to wear?"

"The top layer needs to be nice, but informal." His smile turned suggestive. "Beyond that…is up to you to decide."

"You have high hopes for your first date, Mister Wilde." She crossed her arms, but her goofy grin gave her away—and she knew it.

Nick smirked right back, making her blush. "I know that what one wears can change how one feels. I may never see what you wear under your clothes, but you'll know it's there and it'll affect your mindset. You get to decide where you want your mind to be during our date. Acting on it is another matter entirely."

"So you're holding out for the third date?" Judy fired back. She couldn't believe how cheeky she was being.

"My dear young lady, I never plan that far in advance." Nick shifted forward and refilled their tea cups. "Every day is a new opportunity and a new experience, so when we decide to take that step it'll happen. Until then, well, we still have our dreams, don't we?"

Judy didn't get another word out of him on the topic that night. They said good night ,and Judy was home in her little shared apartment before six. It was there that her sister found her and was terrified at the change she saw.

"Ammy!"

"What?!"

"I know you're free tomorrow, and I need some help getting ready for a date next week. So I've called a few friends, and I really want your opinion on what I choose. So tomorrow we're going shopping!"

The younger Hopps backed away slowly. "Who the hell are you and where's my sister?"