Wednesday, October 20, 1976
Sirius lay sprawled in front of the fire, munching a biscuit and contemplating the textbook in front of him with distaste. He looked up when he heard footsteps, grinning as Mary dropped her bag and sat down in the chair closest to his spot on the floor.
"Hello, Macdonald," he said, offering her a biscuit. "I got us some snacks."
She took the biscuit without comment and took a large bite, scowling.
"Thanks, Black, it was nice of you to be so thoughtful and go out of your way to get these biscuits for us," Sirius said in a falsetto.
She sighed in exasperation. "Sorry. Thanks. I'm just annoyed." She ate the other half of her cookie and slid around in her seat so that her feet draped over the side. "Lily just finished lecturing me," she explained, rolling her eyes. "She only stopped because she had to go to Ancient Runes, but she was nearly late."
Sirius raised his eyebrows. "What was she lecturing you about?"
"She disapproves of the way I've been choosing to spend my Wednesday afternoons," Mary said irritably.
"Oh," Sirius said, nodding. "Does she think you should have stuck with Stebbins, then?"
"No, that's the thing, she didn't even like Stebbins!" Mary burst out indignantly. "She was always making comments implying that I could do better." She sighed again. "She just thinks, I dunno, I shouldn't be shagging someone I'm not in a relationship with."
"But you don't want a relationship," Sirius pointed out.
"That's exactly what I told her, except she seems to think I'm incapable of figuring out what I want without her help," Mary said, taking another biscuit and stuffing the entire thing into her mouth.
"That sounds like Evans," Sirius said. "But I thought you didn't give a monkey's what she thinks?"
Mary took a moment to swallow her biscuit before replying. "I don't," she said finally, brushing crumbs from her lips. "I'd just like to be able to have a casual conversation with my best friend without being told what I should and shouldn't do, that's all." She toyed with one of her curls absently, winding it around and around her finger. "She claims she's worried I'm going to get hurt, which is fair, I suppose, but bloody hell, I can look out for myself." She swung her legs down from the arm of the chair and stood, leaning against the back of the chair.
"She doesn't give you nearly enough credit," Sirius agreed. "You somehow managed to date Stebbins for almost a year without laughing every time you looked at that funny-looking ginger prat. I'd say anyone who can do that is capable of pretty much anything."
"Oh, shut up, Black," Mary said, reaching for a third biscuit. "I think she's going to try talking to you about it tonight."
He laughed. "She can say what she likes, but she's wasting her bloody time. Doesn't she realize by now that if you tell me not to do something, it just makes me want to do it even more?" He stood, stretching, then slipped his hands into his pockets and surveyed Mary for a moment, amused. "What do you say we put off doing our homework for a bit?"
"Why?" she asked, her mouth full of the rest of her third biscuit.
"Well, you just seem like you could benefit from taking out a bit of your aggression before trying to accomplish anything academic," he replied, shrugging. "Unless you'd rather continue eating your feelings, in which case I'll have to take another trip to the kitchens, because we're out of biscuits."
She smiled ruefully. "Oh. Right. Sorry." She stood, sending biscuit crumbs cascading to the floor as she did so. "I suppose taking out some aggression wouldn't hurt," she conceded.
"But what if I want it to hurt?" Sirius asked, smirking.
Mary laughed, then grabbed his hand and steered him toward the staircase. "You're a freak, Black, you know that?"
Later in the evening Sirius had returned to his previous spot in front of the fire and was now engaged in a game of wizard's chess with Peter. He frowned in concentration, then ordered his bishop to capture one of Peter's knights.
"How do you like that, Wormtail?" Sirius exclaimed triumphantly.
"Well, I'm not opposed to it," Peter replied before giving a direction and watching his castle ruthlessly capture Sirius's queen.
"Fuck!" Sirius shouted, startling several first year girls sitting nearby. "I hate this bloody game."
Someone nearby cleared her throat, and Sirius looked around to find Lily standing over them, her arms crossed and a determined expression on her face.
"Sorry to interrupt," she began, before promptly being interrupted by Sirius.
"It's all right," he said, rearranging his long limbs so that he sat cross-legged on the floor. "Pete is absolutely annihilating me, so I don't mind the distraction. To what do I owe the pleasure, Evans?"
She took a deep breath. "Well, I'm sure Mary mentioned the conversation we had earlier, or, I dunno, did she? I don't actually know how much talking you two get around to doing, or if you just hop straight into bed at the first possible moment."
Sirius sighed and adopted a disdainful expression. "Don't be crude, Evans," he said primly. "We don't just shag. Most days we do our homework first."
Lily looked slightly taken aback, but plowed on. "Right. Well, in any case, I talked to Mary earlier, and I'm going to tell you what I told her. I don't think this, er, arrangement is good for either of you." She paused, as if expecting him to argue, but when he simply looked at her expectantly she continued. "You might think it's a laugh, just casually shagging someone without any sort of relationship or commitment, and it might be fine at first, but sooner or later one of you is bound to end up getting hurt. I don't like to make assumptions-"
"Oh, sure you do," Sirius put in, but Lily ignored him.
"But I think it's safe to assume that Mary is more likely to be the one who ends up hurt, and I can't just stand by and watch my friend continue to put herself in this unhealthy situation. So, in short, I think you should either be in an actual relationship, which, let's face it, would be a disaster, or just cease and desist and go back to being casual acquaintances who occasionally flirt with each other." She stared at him defiantly, slightly out of breath after her lengthy pronouncement.
"That's funny," Sirius said, flicking his hair out of his face.
She frowned. "What's funny?"
"Well, it's just that I don't recall asking for your opinion, yet here you are offering it."
She blushed."I'm just - I mean - listen, Black," she spluttered.
"No, you listen," he said firmly. "I know Macdonald already told you what she thinks of your advice, so I really don't understand why you thought talking to me was going to yield a different answer, but it doesn't matter, I'll go ahead and reiterate her sentiments. I have no desire to date Macdonald, or anyone else, for that matter, and she feels the same way. I also have no desire to stop shagging her, and again, she is in agreement with me on this. There's not much more to say on the subject, so I will end by advising you to kindly fuck off and mind your own bloody business." He smiled contemptuously at her, then made to return to the chess game.
"You're just angry because you know I'm right, but you don't want to admit it!" she exclaimed, her hands now clenched on her hips.
Sirius shook his head. "No. I don't actually care a bit what you think, to be honest. You've been telling me I'm an obnoxious, conceited tosser for the past five years, and I haven't lost a single night of sleep over it, so why would you think I give a shit what you think about my love life? No, what makes me angry is that you're always banging on about how James and I are so full of ourselves, and yet you have the nerve, nay, the audacity, to believe you can stop me and Macdonald from doing what we want just because you don't think it's a good idea?"
"I never-" she began, but Sirius held up a hand to stop her.
"Don't interrupt me now, Evans, I'm on a fucking roll. Honestly, who do you think you are? When's the last time you had an actual conversation with me, other than to tell me off for smoking in the common room or to ask me to pass the pumpkin juice at dinner? You've never bothered to get to know me, so how the hell are you qualified to make an assessment on what is or isn't good for me, or to make the assumption that sooner or later I am going to break your friend's heart? I'll go ahead and answer my own question, to save you the trouble: you're not at all qualified! Yet here you are, on your high horse, acting as if you know best, and we're privileged to be receiving such sage advice. But as I already mentioned, I am not remotely interested in your opinion, so you can take your sage advice and shove it up your arse." He eyed her haughtily for another moment, then returned his attention to the chess game and said with dignity, "Knight to E5."
Lily stood staring at him in open-mouthed silence for a full 30 seconds. She then looked from Peter to Remus, as if expecting them to come to her defense, but Peter was now gazing at Sirius in unabashed admiration, and Remus had kept his nose determinedly in his book throughout the entire argument, so she quickly gave up all hope. Instead, she narrowed her eyes at Sirius and fixed him with her nastiest glare before stomping away across the room.
"That was brilliant!" Peter exclaimed when Lily was out of earshot. "I feel like
I should applaud. "
"Don't," Sirius advised him. "Having your friends clap for you is decidedly uncool."
"Prongs isn't going to be pleased when he finds out you shouted at her like that," Remus pointed out, finally looking up from his book.
Sirius shrugged, looking entirely unconcerned. "It was worth it. I got to use the words 'nay' and 'audacity' in the same sentence." He glanced down at the chess board and frowned. "I just fucked myself royally, didn't I?"
"Yup," Peter said gleefully, ordering one of his pieces to checkmate Sirius's king.