This chapter will contain some smut, and it's the first time I've ever written anything like that so please don't be too harsh :) Enjoy!

Jasper

"How do vampires die?"

As I sat with my arm around Leilani, holding her hand, it was hard to listen to her ask that question and knowing the reason. I knew since we became friends months ago that I wanted to protect her. She was so important and I loved her so much. I never wanted anything bad to happen to her, and yet there was something that I would always struggle to protect her from: herself.

I didn't want to lie to her or withhold the truth, so I forced myself to explain. "With great difficulty."

Dread filled her.

"The only way to kill a vampire is to rip them apart and burn the pieces."

She sat there in silence. I didn't know what to say, my mind racing for the right words.

Eventually, I asked, "What are you thinking?"

Leilani was quiet for a minute, and then she mumbled, "Horrible things."

I knelt down on the floor in front of her, where her eyes were directed, putting my hands on her knees. "Darlin', there's nothing you can say to me that will change anything."

She kept her eyes down, even further now, a tear trailing down her face.

I lifted my hand and wiped it away with my thumb, touching her cheek. Leilani tilted her head onto my hand.

"I promise," I told her.

She sniffed and took a shaky breath, guilt flowing through her. "I don't know if I could be one of you."

"Leilani," I said, persuading her to look at me. "No one is asking you to."

"But it's what you want isn't it? How can we be together if I'm a human?"

"We've managed so far, haven't we?"

Leilani exhaled. "I'm going to age. And we both know you can never fully relax around me."

"That doesn't matter," I exclaimed. "I just want you to be happy."

"That's what I want for you," she pressed. "Just like how we haven't, you know, been together."

I stared at her. "What's that got to do with anything?"

"You say it doesn't matter, but it does." She looked away.

I put my hand back down on her knee, trying to understand. When I didn't say anything, I felt her frustration.

"I- it's not," she tried, then pressed her lips together, digging her nails into her legs.

I watched her, sliding my hands up to take her hands and give them a squeeze as she battled in a war with her emotions. Frustration turned to anger and then guilt and hopelessness.

At last, she spoke. "If I was a vampire, it would be that much harder if I wanted to… go." They were the words I had been dreading for her to say, out in the open. Another tear slipped out and she wiped it away.

"We don't have to talk about this right now," I said.

"We have to talk about it sometime." She sniffed.

I thought for a moment. "Ok, let's make a plan. You don't need to think about this at all, for a year. And next bonfire night, depending on how things go, we can discuss it then." I paused. "A year's a long time. Things can change."

Slowly, Leilani seemed to accept that and nodded. "A long time to me, you mean."

I started to smile. "I love you. I'm never gunna get sick of saying that."

She leaned forward to wrap her arms around me neck. "Me neither. Love you, too."

Downstairs my family were gracious enough to pretend they hadn't heard a word from Leilani and I upstairs. However, I did notice Rosalie glance my way. There was something strange and different about how she felt, and when she watched Leilani sit back down, I realised the feeling Rose had within her was respect.

Edward had sat down at the piano and was playing an upbeat song while Carlisle and Esme danced together, along with Emmett and Alice. I wanted to join them and bring Leilani, but she didn't seem like she wanted to, awkwardness and worry swirling around her.

As Edward's playing transitioned into another song, Esme wandered over to us, smiling at Leilani. "Would you like something to drink, Leilani? Tea?"

"Oh, yes please," she replied, standing up.

"Is everything alright?" Esme gently touched her shoulder.

She nodded and said quietly, "I'm just a little overwhelmed."

Esme nodded. "I understand. Let's go into the kitchen."

The two of them left as Emmett turned on the sound system and began arguing with Alice over what music to put on as Edward laughed at them. Rosalie rolled her eyes, flicking through a magazine.

I slid down from the edge of the armchair onto the seat, leaning back against the cushions.

Carlisle sat down on the couch, looking at me.

"Did you hear what she said?" I asked him.

He nodded.

I knew it wasn't her fault, and that she couldn't help feeling like she did. But those words were going to haunt me for a long time. The idea of her dying was bad enough, let alone her wanting it herself.

"Let her do what she wants," Rosalie said, absent-mindedly, flicking over a page.

"She doesn't want to die, Rose. She's sick." I frowned at her, feeling my temper being tested.

"This isn't the time to discuss this now," Carlisle said, as though he could sense the rising tension.

I didn't say anything more. It was so difficult I was trying to do everything to make her happy, and I thought that it was helping. Obviously, it wasn't enough. I wasn't enough. Alice had said that Leilani and I would be together, and she saw her as one of us. Too bad she either hadn't seen, or neglected to mention, the enormous struggle that came with it.

But so long as Alice's vision stayed intact, it meant Leilani would get through it, and in a way – survive.

Comforted by that thought, I stood up and joined Alice for a dance.

Sometime later I saw Leilani and Esme come back in from the kitchen. I hadn't listened to what they were saying, so I didn't know what they'd spoken about. However, Esme must have said something that brought her some comfort, as Leilani's feelings had lifted.

Before she could sit down, Emmett danced over to her with a huge smile on his face. Leilani laughed, slightly embarrassed. Without much warning, he lifted her up and span her around, putting her down closer to where we had been dancing.

Taking a breath, she touched her hair, grinning, slowly bringing her eyes to mine.

I smiled, taking a step towards her and taking her hands, encouraging her to start dancing with me to the upbeat music. There was so much happiness in the room as my whole family enjoyed the dancing. I loved the feeling of Leilani's warm and soft hands in mine, bathing in the joy all around me.

Even later, when she was too tired to dance anymore, and was curled up next to me on the couch with my arm around her, I asked, "Do you want to stay over?"

Leilani laughed, "So all your family can hear me snoring?"

"They won't mind. It's not the first time," I replied, glossing over the fact that she does snore.

She seemed to notice, giving me a look. "Thanks," she muttered, sarcastically.

"Come on, darlin'," I moved my lips close to her ear. "I want to see you in my bed," I purred.

A thrill ran through her, making her smile, the lust building. Leilani nodded.

In my room, I took a seat on the bed, watching as she slowly took off her glowing bracelets and her jumper, and slipped out of her jeans. She turned around and I saw her unclasp her bra. Slowly she slid her arms out of the straps under her black camisole. As she sat down on the mattress and turned to look at me over her shoulder, I could see the shape of her breasts under her top, and really wanted to touch them. I couldn't. Not yet. I didn't want to trigger her if she wasn't ready yet, and it had been a long day for her.

Still, I could feel her desire in the short distance between us. I could see it in her green eyes.

"You're beautiful," I said, watching her lick her lips.

"So are you," Leilani crawled towards me on the bed, slid her hand around the back of my neck and kissed me. She moved her leg over mine that were stretched out, sitting in my lap.

I kissed her back, hungrily, moving my mouth against hers and letting my hands explore her body – her hair, her face, her shoulders and back. I paused at her ribs, waiting for her reaction.

She pulled back, breathing deeply, her hands on my chest. I kept mine where they were.

Sighing, Leilani collapsed forwards, burying her face in my shirt. "We can't do this now, with your family here."

"Maybe I shouldn't have told you about the vampire hearing," I joked.

She laughed against me, but a guilty feeling washed over her.

"We've got all the time in the world," I said, stroking her hair.

I have a surprise for you, but you must follow these specific instructions.

I had been finishing up the work for the semester at my desk, when a message from Leilani had popped up on my phone. It was very mysterious and unlike anything she had sent me before.

Wondering what the surprise would be, I read on.

I'm coming over at two on Friday afternoon and you'll drive us to an undisclosed location – I'll give you directions. Wear something casual.

I was intrigued. What was she planning? Smiling at my phone, I sent a message back with a winking emoji.

Looking forward to it.

Leilani arrived ten minutes early on Friday. I tried to work out what was going on by her outfit, but she was wearing something casual as well – jeans, a hoodie, and converse. She was practically bursting with excitement and some worry.

"Oh no," she looked down at my shoes. Although she'd said casual, I'd decided on some smarter shoes. "You'll have to change those."

"What for? Where are we going?" I asked, raising an eyebrow.

"Stop trying to work it out, and just do as I say please." She ordered with a smile.

"Yes, ma'am," I answered, despite knowing she wouldn't like it.

Leilani stared at me. "You're toeing a fine line, Jasper."

"I know," I teased her some more by changing my shoes at human speed.

She folded her arms, watching me with impatience.

Once I was ready, we got into Alice's car and Leilani gave me directions from her phone. She had even written them down in her notes application so that I couldn't see the final destination at a glance.

"You're very prepared," I commented.

"I wanted it to be a surprise," Leilani told me, concentrating on the signs.

It was a few miles away, and we seemed to be getting to the end of the journey as she instructed me to go down a long driveway between some fields. The smell hit me and I glanced at her out of the corner of my eye, almost certain I knew what we would be doing.

"Just wait," she said. "Park over there."

"Ok," I smiled, pulling up near one of the buildings.

When we got out of the car, a middle-aged woman was walking towards us. Leilani took out some cash from her pocket and handed her a few twenties. The woman led us around one of the buildings to where two horses stood tacked up and ready. A couple of helmets were hanging on the fence.

The woman gave us some directions of the paths to follow and smiled at us. "You two have fun. See you in an hour."

As she walked away, I turned to Leilani, taking her hand. "I can't believe you set this up."

She blushed. "Well, Alice helped me find somewhere. Just, please don't eat them." Leilani giggled.

I kissed her. "I won't, I swear."

She took a breath, eyeing the horses, warily, strapping on one of the helmets. "I guess we'd better go then."

Leilani was nervous. I tilted my head slightly at her. "Have you ever ridden a horse before?"

She hesitated. "At a fete when I was like seven?"

"Alright," I nodded. This was going to be fun.

Leilani

"You should take the smaller one," Jasper said, taking the reins of the grey horse.

They were both certainly beautiful animals, but that didn't make me less afraid of falling off or them galloping away while I was in the saddle.

Slowly I stepped forwards towards the huge steed, looking at how high I'd be off the ground.

"Small." I furrowed my brow, glancing at Jasper.

"I think this one is only about nineteen hands."

"Like my hands or Emmett's hands?"

He laughed. "Come on, Leilani. Put your right foot on here," he touched the stirrup, which was high enough off the ground it was up to my waist.

I held firmly onto the saddle, reached my right foot up and pushed upwards from the ground with my left. I almost didn't make it, but I felt a pair of hands on my ass, boosting me up. Once I'd swung my leg over and was sitting in the saddle, I pressed my lips together, feeling my face going warm.

Jasper was a few feet lower than me, smiling. He handed me the reins, showing me how to hold them properly by guiding his hands over mine. "You good?" he asked.

My blush still hadn't gone away as I could still feel the ghost of his hands on my cheeks. I nodded, holding tightly onto the reins.

Jasper buckled up his own helmet, though it was only for show, and approached the other horse. It tried to pull away from the fence, stamping its hooves. He held onto the reins, close to the bridle, staring at it. The horse began to calm down, and he stroked and patted its neck. Then he mounted it like he had done so a thousand times.

"Does your power affect animals?" I asked.

"Yeah," he replied. "They can sense I'm a predator." Jasper gently kicked his horse and it started to walk forwards.

"Um, Jasper? What am I supposed to-," I started, but then my horse started to follow Jasper's on its own. "Oh! Ok."

He laughed, looking over his shoulder at me. "Relax, darlin'."

I giggled, and while I trusted Jasper, there was no way to really relax whilst on a horse. I kept a firm hold onto the reins and the front of the saddle. As we reached a turning in the footpath, the trees around us were starting to get in the way where they hung across. The horses were closer to the ground and didn't seem to care as I ducked my head, and used my arm as a shield against the foliage.

After a while the path widened out and we followed a stream that ran beside us.

"So, what gave you the idea for this?" Jasper asked.

"A few weeks ago, when you were saying you missed Texas. I thought I'd try and bring Texas to you." I glanced at him, though keeping my attention focused on the horse. "I hope it's alright."

"It's more than alright," said Jasper. "It's perfect." He paused. "Do you want to go faster?"

"No!" I cried, making him laugh.

"Just a little? If you're afraid of falling, I'll catch you." He smirked.

"Maybe," I said, "But not too fast!"

Jasper clicked his tongue, nudging the horse to speed up. Seeing that it was falling behind, my horse began to canter ahead.

I held on very tightly, trying to keep my breathing even as I lurched up and down in the saddle.

"This isn't so bad, Leilani?" Jasper called out to me from up ahead.

The most I could manage to respond to him was an, "Uh-huh," as I continued to hold on for dear life.

At the end of the path, Jasper came to a halt and let his horse reach down to the stream for a drink. Mine followed, and I quickly grabbed the back of the saddle, leaning backwards so I wouldn't be thrown forwards into the water.

After the horses had a break, we headed back. My thighs were starting to ache, though I was enjoying the ride.

The woman from before was waiting for us at the farm. Jasper dismounted easily, taking his horse over and handing the lady the reins. He turned to me. I was still seated in the saddle.

Carefully, I took one of my feet out of the stirrups and lifted my leg over. Jasper held his hands out just in case I needed help, but I managed to get down. Both feet on the ground, I took a few steps back to steady my balance. The muscles in my thighs felt sore, and so did my ass. I rubbed my legs, as Jasper led the horse away.

A few minutes later he returned, walking with me back to the car. I slumped back in the passenger seat, rubbing my hands where they were sore from holding so tightly onto the reins.

Jasper sat down in the diver seat and turned to me, his face and eyes lit up. "Thank you, Leilani," he took one of my hands and brushed my sore palm with his cold fingers, soothing the pain. "This was very special to me."

"I'm glad you enjoyed it," I said, putting my other hand on his so I could get the coolness on both of them. "I did, too. It was scary, in a good way."

"Good scary," he nodded.

"Yeah," I smiled.

"What shall we do now?" asked Jasper, starting the car.

"Actually, your surprise isn't over yet."

He looked at me. "What?"

"Drive," I nodded my head towards the steering wheel.

Jasper laughed. "You're incredible."

The next part of the surprise was less exciting. Hopefully it would still be fun. Jasper drove us to my house, where I showed him to the guest bathroom and handed him a pile of comfy loungewear so he could shower and get comfortable.

I used the upstairs bathroom and changed into some pyjamas. I blow dried my hair, which I'd finally coloured dark blue. Looking around my room, I made the final touches, lighting some candles and making sure my TV was ready. There was a knock on my bed room door.

I opened it to see Jasper standing there in his own pyjamas and tucking one side of his wet hair behind his ear. He looked over behind me, taking in what I'd done.

"We're watching The Lord of the Rings?" He grinned at me.

"You said they're some of your favourite films." I took his hands. "Come and sit down."

He took a seat on the sofa, and I pressed play before going to snuggle up next to him, pulling up a blanket over us. Jasper put his arm around me, pressing the side of his face up against my hair.

Through the movie, we cuddled. A couple of times we kissed. I adjusted my position a few times, my legs still aching a bit from our afternoon adventure. Jasper rubbed my thighs underneath the blanket, which helped, though also left me tingling between them.

At the end of the first film, I ventured downstairs to grab something to eat. My parents weren't going to be home until late.

While I was getting my food ready, Jasper came downstairs and sat with me and we discussed the movie at length. Then, when I'd eaten, we continued the marathon.

Jaspers hand was finding its way up my back, rubbing it softly. It felt like forever until the credits started rolling.

"Let's watch the last one in the morning," Jasper murmured.

"Are you sure?" I looked up at him.

"You made this whole day for me," he touched my cheek, stroking it with his thumb. "I want to make this whole night for you."

I breathed out, my heart beginning to speed up.

He leant forward and pressed his lips to mine, slowly moving them against me. His hands were on my waist, gentle, yet secure. I reached my arms up so I could touch the back of his neck and his hair, playing with the strands between my fingers.

Jasper broke off the kiss and lifted me up, one arm under my legs as I kept my arms around his neck. Gently, he lowered me down onto the bed, holding eye contact with me the entire time. Then the kissing resumed. I could feel my underwear dampening, and I knew he could probably smell it. What if I wasn't what he expected? What if he didn't like what he saw? I didn't think I could take that when I was so vulnerable. I was beginning to get nervous.

"Tell me, if you want me to stop," he caressed my cheek. "You're so beautiful, Leilani."

"Jasper," I whispered, before reaching up to kiss him again.

A moment later, he pulled back, his hands sliding across my skin beneath my pyjama top, lifting it up a little Finally they reached my breasts. My breathing became heavier, Jasper's cold fingertips finding my nipples.

I closed my eyes, enjoying the sensation and wanting more at the same time. The muscles below tightened and ached, thirsty for Jaspers touch.

I couldn't take it anymore. I pulled my arms through the sleeves of my top and took off my shirt, throwing it onto the floor. I shivered, trembling as Jasper ducked his head down and took one of my nipples in his tongue, circling it around while he used his hand on the other.

I hummed in pleasure, touching his hair. I tugged at his shirt, and he lifted himself up slightly so he could pull it over his head and discard it.

I'd seen him without a shirt before, months ago, but not like this. Not in my bedroom, with candles making his skin dance in the light. Not with the love between us.

He began kissing my chest and all the way down to my stomach. Hands on my hips, he slipped his fingers under the waistband on my pyjamas, meeting my eyes with his beautiful golden ones. Slowly he pulled them down, along with my underwear, taking in the sight of my naked body.

I shivered again, and he smiled. In a flash he had grabbed the blanket we'd been sharing on the sofa and covered my top half with it. I shuffled out of my pyjama bottoms, kicking them off onto the floor.

Jasper was kneeling before me at the end of the bed. He brushed his hands up from my ankles to my knees and then slowly up my inner thighs which I spread open.

"Please," I moaned, wanting so badly for him to touch me.

"Yes ma'am," he murmured, just before I felt his tongue pressing against my clit. He traced around the area, soft and slow.

I pressed my head back into the pillows, taking deep breaths as the pressure built up inside me. Jaspers hands were holding my inner thighs, keeping my legs spread open for him.

I felt my body melting into the covers, enjoying the feeling of Jasper's tongue caressing me, my body constantly switching between tensing up and relaxing back into it.

Jasper going down on me was glorious.

Until it wasn't.

The pressure stopped building. I tried to relax myself further, thinking about each part of my body and letting it go. My arms, my hands, my back, my legs. I was completely ready, waiting for Jasper to tip me over the edge. Why wasn't I there yet?

All I could think about was how Jasper was making so much effort, and I wasn't reaching my peak. I didn't want it to be all for nothing, but I didn't want to just stop.

God, that was our first time? My stupid meds and my stupid brain completely screwing us over?

I reached down and touched Jasper's hair. "Jasper," I whispered.

He hesitantly stopped, lifting his head to look at me. "What's wrong?"

"It's not gunna happen." My voice cracked.

"I love you," he said, stroking one of my legs. "Don't cry."

It was too late. I'd burst into tears. Fuck. Just because I couldn't orgasm? I felt pathetic.

Jasper covered me with the banket and moved up the bed so he could take me in his arms.

"I'm sorry," I sobbed. "I don't know what's wrong with me."

"It's alright," he spoke softly, rubbing my back. "We'll work this out together. I love you so much."

"I love you too, Jasper." I brought the blanket up so I wouldn't get tears all over his chest, burying my face into the fabric. "I'm sorry."

"Stop apologising," he touched my hair, running his fingers through it.

I stopped talking altogether, staying in Jasper's arms and hoping he'd never let me go.

"Everything's ok," he told me, keeping his arms securely wrapped around me. "I promise, Leilani."

I didn't know what to say. He was so amazing, and I hoped he could feel all my gratitude and love.

Eventually, I fell asleep in Jasper's arms, his soothing words and touches sending me into a slumber.