More Will Solace angst IG? This one is probably a little more darker than some of my other fics, but it has a happy-ish ending so it's all good (I think).
I've been listening to TLT musical on repeat the past few days, so it's pretty obvious where this is from. But yeah, I've had the part where Percy is like ranting about everything he wishes he could've had if his dad was a part of his life stuck in my head specifically, so yee (I know, I am very eloquent lmao).
TW: slight descriptions of a panic attack and brief depressive/suicidal thoughts. If these may trigger you, I would recommend skipping reading this one.
Enjoy! :)
- alltheglowingeyes
Will used to love the roof of the Apollo Cabin.
When he first came to Camp, he was quickly let in to the tradition of his siblings to climb to the roof and spend time together. They even had a ladder installed about a year into his stay at Camp, as every Friday night the children of Apollo would climb to the top of the cabin.
Some of his best memories took place on the roof of the cabin. He remembered the time Courtney was close to tears over missing her school year and consequentially, her first homecoming. Lee took it upon himself to herd all their siblings to the roof that night, proceeding to give impromptu lessons on formal dancing as he and Kassy accompanied with the guitar and keyboard. All of them were exhausted the next morning, but it was totally worth the excitement and good memories.
However, by the time Will was ten, the tradition was put off for safer times. Suddenly, the prophecy was in action and campers were switching sides. Lee always said they could reinstate the tradition once things were over, to ensure that the harpies didn't take them down for finding them on the roof. The tradition, of course, never happened again.
By the end of the war, all of the campers who were old enough to remember those nights were either dead or off to college, and Will was all alone. He wanted to introduce the rooftop nights to Kayla and Austin, but it felt too early. Even on his own, as he climbed to the roof of the cabin, the memories rushed over him, leaving a bittersweet feeling growing in his chest.
He wasn't sure how long he sat there. Will vaguely processed that he should get some rest (he had back-to-back infirmary shifts the next morning), but he felt glued to where he sat, his senses assaulted by the ghosts and memories that lived on the roof.
He clenched and unclenched his hands. His fingers were tingling with numbness, a sign that he was beginning to panic. Everything felt wrong, and the cold night air around him suddenly felt oppressive, like he was trapped under something and he couldn't escape it.
He glanced at the ground below him. The cabin roof was low enough that if he tumbled over the edge, he might still get out alive (with a few broken bones), but that would be based on the way he fell.
There was a lingering temptation to just give into the heaviness in his bones, to allow the weight of the world to pull him off the roof and fall. He imagined he would just keep falling through the ground, straight to the Underworld and possibly even further as the pull of the earth reclaimed him.
Will glanced at the ground again, shaking away those thoughts, albeit hesitantly. If he gave up, he would simply be placing all of his agony and responsibility onto Austin. It wouldn't end the cycle of hurt that started when Lee first died; in fact, it would just allow it to grow in size and impact.
It didn't make him feel any better, of course. Death was inevitable and all around him as a demigod. Would walking away just be putting off some of the pain and suffering of others for a short period of time?
He closed his eyes, feeling a pain radiate in his chest. It wasn't sharp, clearly not a physical ailment persay. It was the feeling of his heart breaking for the millionth time, a dull lingering pain that at least reminded him he was still alive.
Will opened his eyes again, turning his gaze to the moon shining brilliantly down on him. It felt like it was mocking his suffering, as his thoughts jumped from Lady Artemis to his father.
Apollo had indirectly interacted with Will maybe once. For his tenth birthday, a stack of medical texts that were probably the only of their kind appeared under his bed, as well as a quick birthday card with a simple limerick written in it. Will appreciated the gesture (the books especially were more than most of his siblings and friends got for their birthdays) and tried to never get too bitter about his dad. But after all the pain and loss the war had brought, the war which they fought for the gods, he allowed a little anger to find its way into his heart.
If you're listening, dad, please give me a sign that it's going to be ok, Will thought to himself, curling in on himself a little more.
He waited for a few minutes, half hoping for a sudden flash of light or a parchment to float down from Olympus. Even a simple conveniently-timed shooting star would have raised Will's spirits. Instead, the night was as still as ever, as Will gave up, rubbing his eyes.
"Thanks a billion," he scoffed, slowly standing up from his seat on the roof. His entire being felt oversized and out of control as he clambered down the ladder and stumbled to bed.
Sitting on the edge of his cot, he strained his neck to ensure Kayla and Austin were still safe and sleeping soundly. Once he confirmed they were ok, he stretched out on his bed, attempting to fall asleep. His brain was working against him, however, moving at a mile a minute while simultaneously feeling foggier with each thought that filtered through his head. He spent about half an hour simply tossing and turning until he was simply too tired to keep on trying to get comfortable, finally closing his eyes and drifting into a rather fitful sleep.
His dreams were hard to comprehend. Most of it didn't make sense, and he barely remembered any of the details by the time he awoke the next morning, but the emotions were jarring enough to keep him from sleeping peacefully. By the time he was shaken awake, he first registered that his eyes were slightly damp and his breathing was uneven, as though he had been sobbing only a few seconds ago.
Blinking warily as he took a deep breath, he found himself face-to-face with Kayla. Her eyes sparkled with an excitement that he hadn't seen since prior to the battle, but the look of concern on her face contrasted that glow.
"Are you ok? You've got the sniffles," she commented, looking a little confused. Will forced himself to flash her a comforting smile as he propped himself up on his elbows, still a little disoriented from how he woke up.
"Yeah, just a stuffy nose. Don't worry about it… But uh, why did you wake me up though?"
His voice trailed off as Will felt a flash of panic in that moment, sitting up completely and swinging his legs over the side of his bed, "Gods, did I sleep in? Shit, sorry. Is everything alright in the infir-"
"Don't even finish that sentence," Kayla warned, shooting her older brother a stern look as Will immediately snapped his mouth shut, waiting for her explanation.
"Ok," Kayla continued, shooting Will one more stern look before allowing an expression of excitement to overtake her face. "So I woke up and I wanted to go for a run right? Because you said I have to learn how to do paperwork today, and honestly that's probably going to be a lot of sitting, so I wanted to get some energy out and-"
"Kayla, where is this going?" Will mumbled, rubbing his eyes. He didn't mean to come off snarky, but he was exhausted after a restless sleep. Kayla didn't seem too put off, just humming in agreement as she redirected her focus to her story.
"Yeah, sorry. Uh, anyways, I went outside and I mean…" she trailed off, seeming to think over her next few words. "Actually, I think you should just come take a look. Austin's already outside."
Will frowned, but nonetheless pushed himself up and off his bed, barely having enough time to straighten out his appearance before Kayla pulled him out the door.
Squinting at the bright morning light (his father may be the sun god, but that didn't mean he was spared of the harsh sunlight on his tired eyes), he glanced around his immediate surroundings, trying to understand what was happening. Kayla saw his darting eyes and tutted quietly, spinning him around to face the cabin.
The moment his eyes picked out something out of place, his mouth went dry.
"Styx," he murmured, tracing the sight with his gaze. Next to him, Kayla giggled with amusement, a musical sound that had Will smiling within seconds as well.
The front of the Apollo Cabin was usually plain, allowing its underlying glow and clean front to usually draw attention. However, the front of the cabin was now decorated with a galore of plants. Some were medicinal, like a few small aloe plants, and others were definitely supposed to be more extravagant, such as the six foot tall sunflowers. But the most common ones were hyacinths, so many of the beautiful flowers clustered in different intricately painted pots that Will lost count.
As Kayla began listing off plants she recognized, Austin settled next to her and gave his input occasionally. The two were discussing why these plants were even here, throwing out theories involving Demeter or Persephone, although Will had a feeling that wasn't the case. Sure enough, he was drawn to a small glimmer out of the corner of his eyes. Moving closer, he picked up an engraved piece of golden-tinted metal, brushing off a little dirt that had buried it.
The message was clear as day, written in a neat cursive script: Everything will be ok.
He chuckled lightly, feeling a lump form in his throat as he glanced at the warm sunlight filtering through the trees and blanketing the Camp.
You really took the whole "send me a sign" thing literally, huh? Will thought to himself absentmindedly. There was no response, but Will wouldn't be surprised if his father was laughing in his temple in Olympus.
He looked over the gifts once more. It wasn't enough to restore Will's faith in the gods, frankly, but it was a start. And for now, that was enough to get him through another day.
Turning back to his younger siblings, he joined them in shifting plants to decorate the cabin how they wanted. And two hours later, all three children of Apollo walked out with smiles on their faces for the first time in months.
A/N: Hope you enjoyed reading. I want to quickly say sorry again for the lack of posts! I have so many stories drafted and ready for upload, but I either don't have time or just don't have the energy to ahhhh. But now I'm on Thanksgiving Break, so I'll try to catch up in uploads here if I can (no promises though dfjhfdj).
But anyways, feedback is much appreciated! I might hold off on taking requests/headcanons, mostly because I have a lot that I need to work on currently, but if you do just have something RRverse related that you would want to share, I'm always down to hear it!
You can follow me on my tumblr alltheglowingeyess for updates on multichapter fics/a compiled list of my one-shots/random Riordanverse shit, or to just say hi. :)