Sun's Height 23rd 582
Auri-el's sacred bosom, am I glad to be leaving!
Not that this place isn't lovely, or its residents charming (for the most part), or that I wouldn't love to spend hours and hours strolling the beach with Razum-dar, but days of running around, fighting, trying to navigate diplomatic situations - more fighting... I need a nap. I need a very long nap.
I won't bother myself with writing over details - just that while I can navigate a noble court with finesse and expertise, larger diplomatic situations are beyond my grasp, apparently. I mean. I did as well as I could given the circumstance but - still. I will stick to showing my tits to nobleman's sons and daughters to learn their secrets, eights sake.
Razum-dar seemed to think my work was satisfactory, though, which is good enough for me. I suppose I have found an ally of sorts in him - which may come in handy later on - but I believe a sort of friendship has formed as well. Which suits me just as well. Having friends is better than having allies, in every regard.
We are preparing to depart this lovely little island to head to Auridon. What is in store for me there, I am not certain. Am I going to be made of use again, or am I going to be left to my own devices now that our task here is complete? Razum-dar is making his own way to Vukhel Guard, but stated that he may see me again. Though perhaps he meant something more casual, and not business. Which I can only hope - I need a little time to establish myself before I go off trying to chase after whatever task I am abruptly handed.
Something that has been on my mind the last few days - aside from the obvious - are the Rosesong's. I wasn't in their home for more than a day, and I did my utmost to cover my tracks but given the nature of noble courts, I still worry that I may have been seen going there. And if I was seen going there, it would certainly get back to my mother. And considering the state that I left her in, I can't imagine she would be too kind to them. They are a small house, though long standing and proud, and are good people - I would hate to see her wrath befall them on my account.
It twists me up inside to think about what I could have caused by fleeing, and in the quiet hours when I am trying to fall asleep, I let myself wonder if I should have stayed - not to appease my mother, but to protect the other people who would reap consequences that they did not deserve... That would have been worth staying right?
I don't know. I don't have an answer for that at the moment. Even if I were to march right back to Summerset this instant, I think it would be too late.
If Tan're has no news for me, then perhaps I will reach out to them in a letter once I return to Vukhel Guard. If anything has happened, perhaps there can be a way to support them. Perhaps I should address their son, Aakair. He and I have known each other since our childhood, and we are friends enough - he is a reasonable and open minded man.
That seems as much as I can resolve to for now. And still the resolution brings me no relief.