John stared at Evangeline blankly and waited for the truth. Long minutes passed and she hadn't spoken another word. She just stood there with an angry grin on her face. The tension that was building in the back of his neck was starting to give him a headache. He laughed, not amused, and started rubbing his temples. Shaking his head, he sat at his desk, "So this is how it's going to be now? First you want to act like we were never even friends, and now you want to act like you don't even know me!" He didn't try to hide the annoyance in his voice.
He'd been kind and forgiving after she'd recovered from her coma. He actually understood her anger over losing so much time in her life, but this was too much. He'd been walking on eggshells before, giving her space, but clearly their relationship wouldn't be like it had been before.
Evangeline flipped her hair over her shoulder and just looked at him confused. "Well, what exactly do you want me to say here, John?"
"How about the fucking truth?" He slammed his fists down on his desk. If she couldn't tell how sorry he was, then she was blind. He'd never meant to hurt her, but that's how their relationship had turned out. She'd forgiven him for that, so why was she giving him hell over it now of all times.
"I want us to be friends again, Evangeline." He spoke honestly searching her brown eyes for any sign of forgiveness. He knew if he pushed her that she would push back and whatever was between them would never be resolved.
"It's Eva," she snapped quickly. She started to pace back and forth. She always hated this part, explaining. In the end, everyone ended up having the same look on their face, and that's what really pissed her off. "I've told you the truth, so whether you want to accept that or not is your own damn choice." She stood facing him with her hands resting on top of a chair.
"I find it strange, though, that you have no memory." John leaned forward and stared at her intently. She knew exactly what he was talking about. She'd been the one who'd taken his livelihood away from him. After she woke from her coma, she returned to Llanview and left a trail of victims in her wake. "It sure seemed personal when you lead the witch hunt for my badge."
"If I remember correctly, and I'm sure I do, you were resigned because you were guilty of police misconduct. It wasn't because I did anything illegal or unethical. It was you own misdeeds that sealed your fate. I just brought those facts to light." Eva smirked. She remembered vividly the pained expression that he wore day in and day out. Some would surely call it sick, but she really seemed to relish in other's pain.
John shook his head, still angry that she'd taken her anger out on so many people. In the end, she hadn't just taken John down. Bo almost had to resign and Nora had been censured. It was a miracle that she hadn't been disbarred. She still maintained her position as DA, so the public hadn't lost all faith in her.
What John thought was Evangeline had been on a warpath since she returned to Llanview. For someone who'd been in a coma, she had still been very well connected. She'd been the one who told Clint that Nora and Bo had acted on their romantic feelings for each other. All hell had broken loose at that point. Even still their family issues hadn't been resolved.
"But you still targeted me. Whether you remember or not, Bo and Nora were good friends that were just collateral damage." At first he thought she was just lashing out at the people who were close to her, but Todd, Layla and Cristian had all been spared from her wrath. "Why us?" Finally, he was getting a chance to ask that question.
Eva shrugged her shoulders. "Why not you is probably a better question?"
"Because we're your friends. We care about you!" John stared at her incredulously. That he even had to explain it to her was mind boggling. "You don't know how hard it was for us. We all suffered while you were gone, Evangeline!" He refused to call her Eva. They'd always been straight with each other, and today was no exception. "We missed you, and we were all blaming ourselves for letting you down. I'm sorry that you were hurt. I'm sorry that you lost so much time."
"Oh god, would you shut up!" Eva laughed and walked away. She folded her arms across her chest and stared at him menacingly. "I don't give a shit about your pain or theirs. No one suffered more than I did, and even now my suffering hasn't ended. I'm still wondering why I ever woke up."
John watched as she started to pace. Her hateful smile was gone, and he could see the rage simmering just beneath the surface. He wanted to go to her, but she seemed too volatile. She'd always been so kind and forgiving. Seeing her like this again was hard for him.
"Do you know what it was like for me? I woke up and this woman is crying over me thanking god that her baby has finally returned, only I don't know who the hell she is. I didn't even know who I was, and it only got better. I met my sister that I didn't remember, and my ex whom I also didn't remember. FYI, they're married now with a kid on the way." Eva ran her hands through her hair remembering the pain from waking up.
Physical therapy had been a bitch, but she would take that any day over the regular therapy that she had to endure daily. "Day after day after day after day, I had to sit and listen to Lisa, my mother, talking about Evangeline, her perfect daughter who was loved by everyone. I could see her watching me, hoping that any moment the flood gates would open and suddenly I'd remember my old life."
"Okay, slow down." John swallowed the lump in his throat. It wasn't just an act. Those assholes had stolen more than just time away from her family and friends. "You want a drink or something?" John could see that she was starting to unravel. He shouldn't have let his anger get the best of him.
"No, you wanted to hear this, so just sit there and fucking listen." She pointed an accusatory finger at him. "For months I was alone in that house with her listening to her stories about my life. I don't blame her. It's not her fault that I ended up this way. I guess it's my own fault though."
"No, what happened was not your fault. Tate Harmon was sick, and he's in jail now. He can't hurt you or anyone else again." John stood from his desk and walked tentatively over to her. She took a couple steps away from him to keep him at an arm's reach. "Eva?" He used the name that would make her feel the most comfortable.
"The more I listened to my mother's stories about Evangeline, the more I started to hate her. She was selfless to say the least. Hell, I heard that she even got herself arrested trying to prove the innocence of some former rapist." John rolled his eyes at that memory. Ever since then he hadn't been able to look Todd in the eye. Guilty or not, her sympathy had been wasted on that heartless bastard.
"And for all those people that she saved, what do you think she got in return?" She saw John about to speak but put her hand up to stop him. "Nothing. I didn't want anyone to know that I was awake before I'd completely recovered, but I wasn't going to turn away any visitors that happened by. Only there weren't any. Well, I guess I'm being a little dramatic. Layla, my sister, and Cristian came to visit. I couldn't remember either one of them, but I wasn't going to play nice knowing that they'd hooked up while I was out of it. I don't care if we broke up before I was in a coma or not. There are just some things that shouldn't happen."
John had to agree with that. He had never been a fan of Cristian's. Part of it was jealousy. Part of it was because he knew that Cristian was nothing more than a violent punk. There had even been a couple of times where John had just wished he died in Vegas all those years ago.
"I also got flowers from that rapist and every now and then he would call and insist that my mother put the phone to my ear so that I could hear him talking. To think that a man as sick as he is would be the only person who really missed me." Eva bit her bottom lip and refused to cry. She was tired of crying about a life that she knew nothing of.
Eva studied his face. His blue eyes were shimmering with tears. He was so predictable. Just like everyone else. "You're sorry right? It wasn't that you forgot about me. It was just so hard to think about me like that and seeing me wouldn't have been any easier. So, you just stayed away keeping me in your thoughts and prayers."
John wiped his hand down his face. He'd really been a lousy friend and they'd both known it. He wanted to say something, but she wasn't going to listen to one of his ridiculous excuses. Like she said, she wasn't Evangeline, and she wouldn't search for a reason to forgive him.
"After the anger, there was calm and suddenly I knew what I wanted to do." Eva looked at the pictures of scantily clad women on the walls and frowned. She'd always known that Gunner was a dog, but she had no idea. "I wanted to thank all of Evangeline's friends for being there for her in her time of need. You're angry at me for what happened to you, but I barely lifted a finger. Evangeline had connections in the Governor's office. All it took was one phone call suggesting that there was some impropriety going on in the LPD. You, Nora, and Bo were just reaping what you'd sewn."
"Ever heard that you shouldn't burn bridges?" John put his hands on his hips and kept his eyes trained on her. He understood now, and all too clear. Evangeline had always taken on the problems of others, and it had always been a thankless job. I guess this was her breaking point.
Eva looked over her shoulder and smirked. "Evangeline gave so much to so many and expected nothing in return. At the very least, her so called friends could have checked up on her periodically. How much effort would that have taken? Instead, everyone chose to forget about her, like she was less than nothing. I guarantee you, John, they will never forget her again." Her smile faded and she headed for the door. "I came out here to get away from that life. I'm not Evangeline Williamson and I never will be."
"Look, wait, I'm not asking you to be her." John spoke quickly. He didn't want to let her go, not like this. He wanted to prove to her that he did care. Things were complicated now. In typical John McBain fashion, it was the words that needed to be said that he held back. Eva's actions had ended his life as he knew it. He couldn't imagine how she'd react if she knew the truth.
"Save it, John. You're so predictable, like everyone else." She leaned against the door with her arms folded across her chest. "Seeing me like this is hard for you. It's hard because I've always been sweet little Evangeline. No matter what she always finds a way to forgive and forget. People like you are the worst. You don't want me to hate you because it makes you feel bad. Well, guess what? It's not all about you. For once I'm putting her first, and to hell with everyone else."
Eva stormed out of John's office leaving him to his thoughts. She glanced over at the band and then decided that they didn't deserve and explanation from her. They'd get the hint like everyone else.
John stood with his hands on his hips and stared intently at the door. With her being so unpredictable, he wasn't sure that he should even go after her. He thought for a moment and then decided that he'd come here to get away from the drama. He wouldn't go chasing after her or any other woman for that matter.
"Yeah, sure. Give me a call later and we can iron out the details." Eva chewed on her bottom lip and rolled her eyes. "Okay, I'll see you on Monday, bye." Eva snapped her phone shut and threw it towards the foot of her bed. She leaned back against her overstuffed pillows and let out a deep sigh.
She'd been stuck chatting on the phone with Jill for the last hour and it had been purely accidental. Since her run in with John, she'd been out of sorts. Normally, she screened her calls to avoid Lisa and Layla, but tonight she'd forgotten.
Her phone rang out again and she rolled her eyes. She would bet money that it was Lisa. She reached for the phone and smiled sarcastically. Lisa hadn't been so bad to deal with, but it was still hard for Eva to interact with her. She could tell that Lisa just wanted her daughter back, and that was where they had their biggest problem.
"Hello," Eva put on a fake smile and thought of the quickest way to get her off the phone.
"Evangeline, I mean Eva, honey I'm surprised that you even answered. I was just planning on leaving you a message." Lisa was smiling from ear to ear. She'd grown accustomed to playing phone tag with Eva. She had a habit of calling back when she knew Lisa wouldn't answer and that was frustrating.
Eva was silent, not exactly sure about how to respond. Lisa was so sweet, and it made uncomfortable. She felt the love that Lisa had for her, and for that reason she wanted to be the old Evangeline again. "Yeah, I decided to stay in tonight. I had a long week at school."
Lisa was still smiling. She was somehow closer to Eva than she had been to Evangeline. Eva shared her frustrations about teaching, and Lisa always had a helpful tip for her. "I know what that can be like but remember that it's good to go out and socialize even when you're tired. Spending all of your time with those hormonal teenagers can drive you insane."
Eva laughed and skirted the issue. She didn't want to think about work until Monday morning. "So, what's up? I've been meaning to call you, but with work and everything I've just been busy." Eva pulled back the sheets and settled into bed.
"I was just checking to see if you were flying in for Thanksgiving. Your Uncle Clay has been dying to see you." Lisa was glad that she caught Eva off guard. This way she wouldn't have time to think up a lie before calling her back. "Some of the family is coming down too, but not too many people." She knew Eva was uncomfortable having to play the role of Evangeline, so she didn't like to force her to be around a lot of family.
She didn't want to just come out and say 'no', but there was no way in hell that she was going 'home' as Lisa called it. The thought of spending time with Layla and Cristian had her stomach in knots. They were so happy together and it made her sick. It was just another reminder of how life had gone on without her. "I don't think I'm going to make it. I've got a concert planned with the choir a couple days before. After it's all over, I'm just going to want to relax for a few days. Alone."
Lisa tried to smile, but a tear rolled down her cheek. "Well I hope that the concert turns out well." She wiped the tear from her face. She wanted to make another surprise trip to Washington, but she didn't want to upset Eva. "I want you to tell me what your plans are for Christmas. If you can't come here, maybe I can come there. The two of us haven't spent Christmas apart in nearly six years."
"That would be nice," Eva lied. Like with Jill, she'd come up with some last-minute excuse and avoid an uncomfortable situation. "Well, I know it's late there, so you should get to bed." Eva looked over at her bedside clock and frowned that she was in bed and before 10pm.
"You're right. Well, let me know something soon. I love you." Lisa waited, hoping that Eva would surprise her.
"I'll call you soon, bye." Eva closed the phone and swallowed the lump in her throat. "Damn it!"
Of all Eva's family and friends, only Lisa and Clay had lived up to Eva's standards. During her recovery she'd been downright cruel to everyone she encountered, but no matter what they just smiled. Sure, they wanted Evangeline back, but she knew they loved her as she was right now. If she was honest with herself, then she'd have to say she loved them too, but they were Evangeline's family and that created a problem. For that reason alone, she'd decided to keep her distance.
She felt her eyelids growing heavy and was glad that she would at least not have to stay up tossing and turning. She checked the clip on her gun and made sure the safety was off. Just as quickly as she rolled over and settled into bed she was sleeping.
John wiped his hand down his face and let out a heavy sigh. It was just after 3am and it had been a shitty night. No, it had actually been even worse than that, but he was too buzzed to think of a better word.
He plopped down in the only recliner in his studio apartment and leaned his head back against the cushion. He stared up at the popcorn textured ceiling and thought about getting up to get another beer. Down at the bar he'd had five. "No, eight," he said out loud remembering that he'd had one for about every 10 complaints.
Gunner wasn't lying about the patrons being there only for Diva. After Eva had stormed out, a young waitress quickly volunteered to step in. She'd started to give John a long speech about how she'd always dreamed about being a singer, but he was still thinking about Eva and didn't care.
"April," he mumbled her name remembering how even he didn't enjoy her performance. It wasn't that she was a bad performer. It was just that she didn't hold a candle to Evangeline. As a matter of fact, John couldn't think of many people who could. She was amazing at everything she did.
He smiled thinking about how quickly she picked up on the boxing lessons he'd given her. She was damn cute throwing a punch on the heavy bag, and she had a mean left hook. His smile and his happiness soured quickly as he thought about her with that thug Cristian. He wasn't good enough for her. "Not like you were much better yourself," John reminded himself out loud.
His phone rang and he looked down at the view screen to make sure it wasn't his mother. He wasn't in the mood to play catch up. He saw that it was Mike and decided that he would have another beer or three after all. He kicked off his shoes and shuffled over to the mini fridge before flipping his phone open.
"What," he wasn't in the mood for small talk and Mike wasn't sensitive enough to take it personally.
"Well hey to you too bro," Mike pulled the door shut behind him to Gabe's room. He still couldn't stop thanking God for his and Marcie's little miracle.
"The fuck do you want Mikey? It's been a really long day." He pulled off his jacket and shirt and tossed them on the floor. It wasn't like he had anyone he needed to impress with a clean place.
"In a bad mood already? That's got to be a record. You've been in town for what, twelve maybe fourteen hours. What's got you in such a bad mood?" Mike could guess that it probably had to do with a woman. "Talk to Natalie or Marty."
John rolled his eyes at the mention of both women. At first he'd been reluctant to leave Llanview, it was like he was running away with is tail between his legs after Evangeline, correction Eva, had ended his career. Then after he found himself getting tangled in Natalie's web and torn between her and Marty he decided that he needed to move on. He wasn't in love with either woman, and he never had been.
"No," he opted for the simple answer. Natalie claimed to hate him over Jared's death and his not helping her get revenge on Mitch Laurence and Marty was mad that Evangeline's actions had caused trouble for Cole as well. Nora had to fall on her sword to protect him. It was the least she could do considering that she was his guardian during the time that he was abusing drugs.
"And how does that make you feel?" Mike leaned against the door jamb before deciding to head downstairs. Marcie was a light sleeper, and she would definitely want to give John her two cents on his life given the opportunity to talk to him.
"Don't do that Mike?" John held the phone away from his ear and shook his head. In his slightly inebriated state, he made a connection and it pissed him off. "Was this a fucking setup!" He hissed and slammed the beer bottled down on the countertop and nearly cracked the bottle.
"What?" Mike stopped on the middle of the stairs and wondered what he'd said that caused that reaction. "Is what a setup? Getting you to leave Llanview? Trying to help you get a new lease on life? John, no one is trying to set you up with or for anything. Yeah, you made a few friends in Llanview and you got some dangerous criminals off the street, but there was nothing good in Llanview for you. First you got involved with Natalie and then Cristian died. Then you were will Evangeline, and you royally fucked that up. Then it was back to Natalie. Then Marty. Then Blair. Then Marty again. Then," Mike stopped at John interrupting him.
"I don't need your account of my life to remember just what happened." John clenched his jaw and realized it had truly been nothing more than a coincidence that Evangeline was living here too. No one in Evangeline's family would be trying to put them back together, so they certainly wouldn't be conspiring with Mike, Gunner or Eve.
John blew out a breath and tried to calm himself. He was too pissed to talk, and he didn't want to take it out on Mike. "Look, it's been a really long night. Shit was bad at the bar and I'm still just trying to adjust. Let me give you a call back tomorrow when I'm sober." He smiled slightly. He'd been through a lot these past few years and the last thing he wanted to do was alienate his family.
Mike stood wide eyed in shock. It normally would have taken a lot more prodding than that to get John to open up. "Yeah, no, I understand. It is pretty late too. I just wanted to check in and say hey. Maybe when you're settled Marcie, Gabe and I can take a trip up there to visit."
John nodded. "That would be nice." He hadn't seen Gabe much since he'd been born, and now that they were living on the same coast he wanted to see him as often as possible.
"Be well, John."
"You too Mike," John hung up the phone and left it on the counter with his open beer. On second thought, he'd just go to sleep. He had some major groveling to do tomorrow and he needed to be well rested.
He walked over to his bed and lay down on his stomach with his face buried in the pillow. When he closed his eyes, all he could see was Evangeline. He'd been trying his hardest not to think about her but seeing her again and knowing that she was still so far out of his reach was maddening. He could feel his erection straining against the cotton fabric of his boxers and willed it to go away. No way in hell was he going there again. She might not remember, but he did. He'd hurt her, badly, and she deserved so much better than him. He squeezed his eyes shut and hoped that the alcohol would help him get to sleep quicker. In his dreams, she was still his and that alone was enough to sustain him.
Panting, Eva woke with a start. She looked around her room and waited for her eyes to adjust to the darkness. Unlike so many nights before, she hadn't woken up due to a nightmare. It was quite the opposite in fact. The sheets were tangled between her legs and she was wet from her erotic dream.
"Damn," She swiped her wet hair away from her face and smiled. She didn't remember the dream, but she was sure that it was actually one of Evangeline's memories. She never would have guessed that Miss Uptight would have gotten it that good. She moaned and then fell back against the pillows. She knew she should probably get up and go shower, but she wanted to go back to sleep; go back to whoever she'd been dreaming of.
She suddenly thought of John and that put a sour taste in her mouth. She frowned and thought of how he was an ass, just like all of Evangeline's other friends. "No way he was the one giving it to her that good." She laughed to herself as she tossed back the sheets and headed for the shower