"So, what do you want to do? A movie?" John folded his hands behind his head and watched her fidgeting beside him. If he wasn't mistaken, she looked nervous. He'd not seen her like this very often, so he found it cute.
"How about a game?" she offered instead. She wiped her sweaty palms down the front of her jeans. "A card game." She thought of a quick way to focus the attention on him.
"That's fine, though I don't know many card games that are fun with just two people." She looked over at him with a dubious smirk on her face, and now it was John's turn to feel nervous. "Wait, what game did you have in mind?"
"No, it's too late for questions now. You already agreed to play. I'll be right back." She left before John could object.
"Well now I'm curious." John watched her walk back into the room with a deck of cards, a bottle of Tyrconnell, and two shot glasses. "Don't you have to work tomorrow? It won't be any fun going to work drunk on whiskey, no matter how good it tastes.
"Worry about yourself, McBain." She took the cards from the box and shuffled them well before placing them face down on the sofa between them. "As you already know there are 52 standard cards in a deck. So, divided by two that is 26 for each of us." She studied John's face and could see that he really wasn't interested so far.
"For each red card you get to ask me a question, any question. Conversely, for each black drawn I get to ask you any question." She could see the terror that flashed in his deep blue eyes.
"That's not exactly fair, Eva." Now this was a game that he might love to play with Evangeline, then again he wasn't sure he wanted to hear her telling him the plain and simple truth.
"It's fair. It's not like I know you well enough to ask some question that Evangeline had been dying to ask, and there's also this to consider," she picked up the bottle from the table. "Let's say I ask a really embarrassing question that you don't want to answer. Instead of answering, you take a shot. And to be fair, that question can't be asked again or rephrased in any way."
"How will we know when the game is over?" John couldn't think of twenty-six questions to ask, and the thought of answering all those questions made him nervous. She wasn't quite Evangeline, but she probably still knew more than enough about their relationship.
Eva shrugged her shoulders. "I guess when one of us is too drunk or angry to keep going."
John shook his head warily. "How about we play blackjack?" He would be less likely to get angry because he was sensitive to Eva's condition, but who's to say that he wouldn't piss her off. No, he was sure of it. She was setting him up so that she could go off on him for a good reason.
"Oh come on McBain, I'm harmless." Eva looked over at him with sad puppy dog eyes that she knew he wouldn't be able to refuse.
John's breath caught in his throat at her words. Maybe she didn't remember, but Evangeline was still in there little. "Guess there's no way out of it." John shrugged his shoulders knowing that he couldn't refuse her. "But to be fair, you might want to take about half a shot." He remembered how she'd gotten drunk off two martinis and a gin and tonic. He always knew she didn't have a really strong tolerance for alcohol.
"No way, that would make it less fun." She watched as John turned to face her and then she shuffled the cards once more. "Don't look so worried. I'm not as clueless as you think. I've had the opportunity to read all of Evangeline's diaries since she was eleven years old. The last entry was just a few days before the incident."
John's eyes flashed dark as he wondered what her thoughts were in the days before. They'd barely even talked before then. He'd missed her so, and if it wasn't for all the bullshit in his life he probably would have been able to prevent the event which had changed her so dramatically.
"My god, do you know how annoying that is?" Eva waved her hand in front of his face and snapped him back to reality. "You sure do spend a lot of time daydreaming." John smiled and shrugged his shoulders. "Let's just start already." Eva flipped over the top card on the deck.
"Ace of diamonds. I guess that means I get to ask a question." Eva nodded. John studied her face and could see that she wasn't nervous at all. "So, of all the places in the world, why did you pick Washington?"
"Well, it was easy." Eva poked out her bottom lip and let out a soft sigh. "This house was payment from one of Evangeline's wealthier clients who was having cash flow problems. Lisa was anticipating that I'd be in that coma longer, so she was trying to be prepared. She wanted to sell the house and save the money for later. After my recovery, I took the house off the market and moved here for a fresh start."
John pursed his lips and nodded that he was satisfied with her answer. He grabbed the top card and flipped it over. "Three of hearts, guess I'm on a lucky streak." He smiled at her annoyance.
"Come on, out with your next question." Though the game had just started, Eva grew impatient at not getting a turn yet.
"A teacher? Why the career change?" He remembered talking with Evangeline a couple of times about Caitlyn and her teaching career. He'd never once picked up that she had an interest in that field, even though both her parents were teachers.
"That lawyer thing is hers, not mine." It really was a simple as she said. Eva didn't have nearly as much depth as Evangeline. Evangeline never did anything without careful thought and calculation. "There was an opening. I applied. I got the job."
John frowned. There had to be more to it than that. There was a lot of paperwork and procedure that needed to be taken care of before one could become a teacher. Even he knew that. He decided not to press the issue. It wasn't a big deal, and he didn't want to make her mad so soon.
"If this is another red call, I'm calling foul." Eva grabbed the top card but didn't flip it face up.
John arched his eyebrow and laughed. "Even though you're the one who shuffled the deck?"
She shook her head once. "You can only ask questions on your own turn." She flipped the card face up. "Yes, seven of clubs." She chewed her bottom lip thinking of the right question to ask.
"Let's start out with something simple. "Why did you breakup with your last girlfriend?" Eva watched his deep blue eyes. He looked away hiding the sadness. Had she hit a nerve already?
John swallowed, hard. He couldn't answer that question. Well, he could, but it was Evangeline who deserved to hear the answer to that question. He was doing to Marty what he'd done to her and he'd decided to break the cycle.
For a second he thought about just answering the question, but he really didn't want to get into that right now. Hell, he didn't ever want to get into that. Shit was always too complicated.
He saw the disappointment on Eva's face as he reached for the bottle. He wouldn't apologize for this. It was her game, and he was only playing by the rules. He poured his shot and swallowed it in one gulp. For him this was child's play, whiskey had always been his drink of choice when beer wasn't strong enough.
He flipped the next card and smiled. "Guess it's balancing out now." The jack of spades was the next card that was drawn. "Just so you know, you're not staying the night here and I'm not driving you home. If you get to drunk to drive, you're on your own." She knew she owed him one for him taking care of her last night, but he'd have to call in that favor later. "What was your favorite birthday and why?"
John shook his head now feeling the whiskey warming his stomach. "That's two questions or have you forgotten the rules already." He watched her roll her eyes and then flip the next card on top of the deck. It was an eight of clubs. "Should I start crying foul now or are you reserving that for later."
"Stop stalling and answer my questions, or would you like another drink?" She looked over at the bottle of whiskey that she'd never tasted. It must have been one of Evangeline's things because every now and then she found herself wanting to go to the liquor store to buy a bottle. She'd get nearly there before remembering that not only did she have a bottle, but that she never touched the stuff.
"Easy, it was about five years ago. It started out like so many others, me wanting to be alone and Mikey or my mom forcing me into some awkward interaction. Anyway, the day went on like any other until you, I mean Evangeline, found out it was my birthday." John ran his hand through his hair and smiled.
"You were dating, and she didn't even know when your birthday was?" Eva didn't care that she was asking questions out of order. She sat with her legs crossed and stared at him intently. Just what kind of relationship did they have?
"Like I said, I was used to being alone. We argued, naturally, and then I had to sit through some poorly planned surprise party from someone who'd been trying break us up."
Eva smirked and rolled her eyes. Had to be that Natalie that Layla had always been talking about. From what she knew, Eva thought she was a bitch and she'd been on her so-called hit list, but Eva decided she wasn't worth her effort. Eva watched him smiling and couldn't figure out what there was to be so happy about. That is unless he liked having all the female attention that Layla said he was famous for getting.
"That part was not so great, but after the party we went back to my place." Eva rolled her eyes not wanting to hear some sex story. "We talked and we really opened up to each other that night. It was the first and only birthday since my dad died where I actually enjoyed myself."
"That doesn't exactly sound like a memorable birthday to me, McBain."
"Well it was, at least for me." John felt a wave of sadness coming on. It had been the only time when he was close to telling her, saying the actual words. In the end he'd let fear talk him out of it. That and she'd fallen asleep. He'd often wished he could relive that night and make things right.
Eva flipped her hair over her shoulder and smiled as he flipped the next card. "Six of diamonds. Ask away?"
"How did you end up being the main attraction for Whispering Spirits?" John hated that name and knew he'd have to think of something less cheesy. The bar name had special meaning for John and Gunner, but that was not a story he wanted to remember.
Eva thought it over for a second before filling her glass to the brim with whiskey. John was watching her, daring her to go for it, and she did. She shot her head back and swallowed it in one big gulp like he had. She fought the urge to vomit and wanted to slap the smirk off his face.
"So, I guess you'll stick to answering questions from now on." He started to flip the next card when Eva shook her head. "Finished?"
"This game kind of sucks." It hadn't been at all what she'd expected. "Besides, there's not a whole lot of interesting things that you can ask me about her. She's pretty boring, you know?"
John laughed thinking she was joking. "Are you serious?" John had no idea what a woman kept in her diary, but he knew Evangeline and he knew she was anything but boring. "I thought you said you read her diaries."
"I never said that." Eva put her hand to her stomach still fighting the urge to throw up.
"You said," John started.
"I said I had the opportunity to read all of her diaries. You assumed that I had. That's not my fault." Eva leaned back against the sofa and stared at the dark television screen.
"Then you're missing out." Eva rolled her eyes disbelieving. "Let's keep playing. There are still questions I want to ask you, and I'm sure you can think of a few."
"I heard you weren't big on talking," she countered.
"You also think Evangeline is boring," he replied. He'd heard that from more than a few people and it just clued him in on how little people really knew about her. Yeah, she'd been dedicated to her clients and really focused on her career, but during their relationship she'd really gotten away from that. She'd started living for the moment, and things had been good for both of them.
"So, ask already. What do you really want to know?" Eva looked over at him.
"Well are we still playing, or what?" John looked over at the shot glasses that were arranged next to each other. He could imagine if he'd played this with Evangeline one of them would be good and drunk by now.
"We'll just take turns for now, but if you don't want to answer you still have to take a shot." Eva put her hand over her stomach regretting her earlier decision. Whiskey was definitely not her favorite drink.
John studied her face for a moment. A couple more shots and she'd be a little more than tipsy. "What was it like for you?" he spoke softly. "Before, I mean, when you first woke up."
Eva smiled to hide her discomfort. That wasn't something that anyone had ever asked her before, and the memories from that time were unpleasant. She looked over at the bottle and then remembered the bitter taste of that foul liquid. "Scary." She opted for the short honest answer.
She looked up at him and saw that he was expecting more of an answer. His silence gave her pause and she decided to just answer the question properly. "It's not like they show you on TV. You know where your eyes pop open and then boom your back in the swing of things." John nodded knowing all too clearly what she meant. He'd had his own near-death experience that she just didn't remember.
"I wake up and there's this woman, Lisa, crying over me. Then she starts hugging and kissing me. The whole time I'm wondering who the hell this woman is and why my body feels so weak. Next thing I know there's a doctor checking me out and telling me how lucky I am to be alive. He explains to me about how I've got a long road to recovery. It wasn't until I started asking who and where I was that everyone got worried."
"Your memory loss isn't directly related to what happened?" John's brow creased into a frown. In the past, he'd read up about memory loss and he'd asked Michael about a million questions. For all that he knew, there was so much more to learn.
"Apparently not." She shrugged her shoulders. "The doctor said the trauma of what happened may have been too overwhelming, so my brain blocked access to those memories. Only it blocked access to so much more as well. For the first month, I worked as hard as I could with a physical therapist and with a psychologist. My body recovered quickly, but my mind not so much."
"I'm sure you were told that the psyche is more delicate than that." It had been years after Caitlyn's death before he could recall all the details of that day. He'd tried to no avail to remember something, anything that would lead him to her murder.
"Yeah, I understand, but it didn't change my situation any. It was hell being with Lisa. She was sweet and loving, just like a mother should be, but she wanted her daughter back and I wanted to be my old self again. The stress of physical therapy and the stress of watching Lisa's heart breaking again and again was too much." Eva leaned back against the sofa and stared straight up at the ceiling. She could feel the tears coming and worked to distance herself from the sadness.
"I'm sorry. I didn't mean to upset you." John reached out to touch her but thought better of it. "Okay, ask me something now." He smiled and tried to lift her spirits again.
She shook her as if to say it was nothing. She poked out her bottom lip and thought over her next question. She looked over at his smiling face and then looked away quickly. The looks he kept giving her were sending her brain mixed messages.
"I remember Layla telling me that we broke up because you had a thing for someone named Natalie, and my mom said it was because you couldn't say 'I love you.' I'm sure there's some truth in there and I won't ask you about it, yet. Since it clearly wasn't Evangeline, who was the love of your life?"
Now it was John's turn to feel uncomfortable. His throat went dry and he shook his head slightly. There was no good or right answer to this question. No matter what he said it would turn out poorly. He ignored the disappointed look on her face as he down his second shot of the night.
"You are no fun at all." Eva leaned forward and smiled. His avoidance intrigued her. She thought for a moment and decided that it had to be Natalie, otherwise he'd have told her. "You are interesting though, and that's enough for me. Anyway, it's your turn."
"Alright then. Tell me, are you the type of woman that cries watching movies?" John remembered spending many nights holding her while she cried through a sad movie. Before her confession on his birthday, he wondered why she was so drawn to sad movies when they upset her so. After he knew it was just her way to hide from the truth, he'd tried to be more observant of what was going on in her life. He wanted to help her deal with her problems head on. He didn't see the use in both of them suffering through so much emotional baggage.
Eva sat forward and looked at John frowning. "Cry at movies? Why would I do that?" She leaned in closer and stared into John's eyes. "Please don't tell me your one of these modern men who wants to be in touch with their feminine side." Eva sounded absolutely disgusted as she spoke.
John stifled a laugh. "Yeah, that's definitely not me. I was just wondering that's all." He leaned in closer so that their noses were nearly touching. His first instinct was to kiss her, but the way she snatched her head back told him that would have been a bad idea.
"My turn." She didn't even want to think about how she'd nearly leaned in to kiss him. He was starting to get to her and it was more than just his good looks. It was definitely a mistake letting one of Evangeline's old acquaintances get close.
John was getting to close now and like an animal in defense Eva pushed back. "How did you feel when you and Evangeline finally broke up?"
John's discomfort was now written on his face plain as day. Eva really did have the upper hand in this game, whether she remembered the past or not. Without much hesitation, John grabbed the bottle of whiskey and took a big swig straight from the bottle. He needed a shot of liquid courage to get his next words out. After all, he was being unfair. He didn't deserve Evangeline's friendship or even Eva's. He'd made his choice years ago and now he needed to pay the price.
"Relieved." His voice came out low and deliberate. He stared Eva right in the eyes and made sure she got the message. "I was just relieved."
"Oh." Eva flinched as if she'd been slapped. She'd anticipated him saying many things, but that was not one of them. She knew he and Evangeline had been friends after the breakup, but why. Her head was hurting now and she'd had her fill of this game. She'd had her fill of him. "Well at least you're honest."
Eva stood and stretched long like a cat. It wasn't late, but she was starting to feel the alcohol now and the last thing she wanted was to be vulnerable in front of this man again. "Your turn." She wouldn't ask him to leave, but hopefully he'd be decent enough to excuse himself without prompting.
John looked away from her with his head down. He didn't want to see the pained or disappointed look that he was sure was on her face. Things were always complicated when it came to them. "You know I think I'd better head home now." He'd had more than a few beers before the whiskey and if he didn't leave soon he'd be too drunk to drive.
"Are you sure?" She combed her fingers through her long hair and started walking around the sofa.
"Well you're in no condition to drive me and you already said staying here is out of the question, so I'd better go before I start getting the worst of it." John was now walking with her to the hall closet where she'd placed his coat. She handed him his coat and the awkward silence between them grew even quieter.
"So, are you planning something big for next month or will it just be the same old fanfare?" John slipped on his coat and fished in his pocket for his keys. He looked over his shoulder not at her, but in her direction.
"I think I'll let that be a surprise." She stood with her hands on her hips wondering how much longer this goodbye would be drawn out. "See you later."
John pulled open the door and invited the cold wind into the house. He pulled up the collar on his jacket and stepped out into the cold. Funny it sure felt warmer out here than it did in there. By the time he'd turned back around the door was closed.
"It's for the best," he told himself as he walked to his car.
"What the hell are you doing?" Eva leaned back against her front door. "Would you really betray yourself just to feel the touch of a man? I know you can't remember, but that doesn't mean that you can forget either." Eva strengthened her resolve and started thinking of a way to distance herself from John without giving up her singing gig at the club.