I felt like this little gem deserved to be posted separately from the Random Oneshot collection. I want to hear your opinions on the pairing.
The decor of the small establishment was exquisite. Lavish leather chairs were placed around the lacquered wooden tables and circular stools were lined up in front of the long marble counter. A live orchestra of finely-dressed gentlemen was performing for the entertainment of the patrons filling the air with the masterfully composed notes of Bardoven and Mordchart.
"Your drink, Sir." Singed bowed as he placed a crystal glass on the marble counter. The bald barman was the newest addition amongst the Villains Bar's employees and he made sure to be polite with every patron that he served. Singed, unlike his unfortunate predecessor, was wise enough not to risk displeasing the crème de la crème of Valoran's sinister schemers.
"Thank you, Singed," A chirpy voice replied, small furry fingers wrapping around the cold, thin neck of the glass to bring it closer to an equally furry face. Teemo tasted his martini and hummed in satisfaction, gesturing for Singed to return back to his work. The bald barman bowed to him once again, before leaving to serve a bored-looking woman with a snake bottom half and numerous pearl necklaces spilling on her bodice.
Content with enjoying his drink at his leisure, Teemo let his gaze travel across the patrons that socialized with their peers. The Swift Scout spotted quite a few familiar faces amongst them. There was Lissandra that poisoned her niece with an apple-flavored popsicle, Gankplank , that shot his father to steal his golden tooth. A few stools to the right of him Xerath was discussing magic with Veigar dressed in a tuxedo that was literally smoking. Tahm Kench was savoring his kittenpie on his left, and Renekton was arm-wrestling with Star Guardian Zoe. The fuming alligator was actually losing to the corrupted Aspect of Twilight.
Taking another sip from his glass, Teemo reached into the pocket of his striped black suit producing a golden cigarette case. Placing a slim cigarette between his lips Teemo patted his pockets for a lighter. The Swift Scout paused when a feminine hand held up a lighter close to his Malzboro. His gaze climbed up to the smirking face of the breathtaking stranger as he leaned forward to make use of her offered flame.
"Thanks, Love," Teemo smiled dashingly, leaning back on his stool to examine the purple velvet garb of the stunning redhead. The woman was wearing a skimpy, frilly costume the likes of which rich heiresses would don at masquerade balls and high society events. The revealing outfit hugged her curves perfectly and along with her embroidered mask gave the woman an air of mystery, "Let me buy you a drink as a token of my gratitude." Teemo hummed seductively straightening his body, his expensive suit going taut against his defined muscles.
Teemo lifted his hand and snapped his fingers to draw Singed's attention. The barman rushing in to serve Evelynnn her Bloody Mary before departing as swiftly as he had approached them.
"What a gentleman... Well, if you insist..." Evelynn purred with a sly smile, halfway lowering herself over the marble counter as she accepted her Bloody Mary to tease her prey with a better view of her cleavage.
The demoness' lashers slithered across the floor like a pair of excited snakes.
This yordle was brimming with confidence, seemingly leading a happy, content life. Evelynn couldn't wait to guide the furry man away from prying eyes and inflict the worst kinds of pain upon him. The short gentleman's agony would fuel her dark heart with ecstasy the likes of which no mortal being could hope to comprehend. The demoness could feel her quarry's desire for her as her fingertip sensually rubbed the rim of her tall glass.
This bar with its strict clientele of egotistical cretins and magical drama queens was a real goldmine for a sadistic pain-devouring demon like Evelynn. Everyone and each one of the Villains Bar's patrons believed that they deserved her attention. They assumed that they could seduce her by flaunting their wealth in front of her and impress her with talks of their nefarious achievements.
Evelynn humored them as she listened to them boasting about conquering the world, seizing kingdoms and law firms and backstabbing their partners in shady deals. The foolish mortals willingly inviting her to their lairs and secluded homes, never questioning what her presence would suggest in a bar that exclusively served villains until it was too late.
And now another wannabe schemer was making nauseating advances to her while looking at her with lustful eyes. Evelynn giggled in delight as the furry man finished his story about extracting poison from exotic mushrooms and ambushing his enemies from behind cover.
"Fascinating," Evelynn cooed in fake enthusiasm, the demoness' hand sliding across the cool countertop to cover the yordle's furry appendage with her own. Squeezing its palm encouragingly, the prowling demon was rewarded by a sparkle of arousal entering the short male's eyes, his breathing hitching for a single moment. "But how about we take this elsewhere?" Smiled the disguised lust demon.
"Somewhere more private, where you can share the tantalizing details of your evil triumphs over mankind with me without having to worry about rivaling schemers overhearing us and stealing your grand ideas." She stoked the man's ego, complimenting his villainy while observing the other patrons of the bar with a troubled expression.
Nobody was paying attention to the fat tales of the yordle of course, but that wasn't important. Evelynn needed an excuse to lure her victim away from the patrons. She could almost taste his agony, oh how she was going to savor his death cries. The demoness was getting impatient.
The furry male's thick eyebrows furrowed as he scowled at the crowd of perceived eavesdroppers. He nodded determinedly after a moment, throwing some bills on the counter while hoping off his stool and dusting himself off. Evelynn could hardly contain her glee. Her lashers were twitching behind her in anticipation as the she-demon followed the short gentleman outside.
The yordle's lair wasn't anything like what Evelynn would have expected it to be. The secret base of the villain was a moderately big castle made of some kind of black rock instead of the tall skyscraper that one would assume in this day and age. Leering statues of winged demons and vigilant gargoyles decorated the spiraling towers that rose towards the sky.
The glided door to the garden clanged ominously as her host led her across a decrepit yard filled with crumbling abstract sculptures and thriving, wild plant life. From what the devilish seductress gathered from the ramblings of the prideful man, Teemo's bloodline was amongst the oldest ones in Valoran, although their wealth and influence had greatly diminished through the passage of time. Castle Brimstone, as the yordle had called it was the last vestige of the family's golden age when explorers braved the wildness in search of glory and historics recorded cautionary fairy tales next to actual events as indisputable facts.
The interior of the building was dim enough for Evelynn to merge into its shadows, yet her host seemed to be able to navigate its endless halls with his eyes closed. The demoness spied ancient suits of armor standing guard next to dusty glass cases that contained ratty books and parts of stone plaques. Further examination revealed that the damaged slabs in the displays had foreign words chiseled into them, faded angled symbols could be seen on their uneven sides where the slabs had been fractured and shattered.
Teemo turned towards Evelynn after lighting the fireplace. The orange hue of the cackling flames illuminating the antiques of the living room, the shadows danced to the hypnotizing tune of the swaying fire.
"Welcome to Castle Brimstone..." Teemo chirped from in front of the fireplace, the outline of his short silhouette being easily discernible in the pulsing flare of the fireplace while his furry features were bathed in darkness. Curved slits of red could be seen approximately where his formerly closed eyelids should be located. Evelynn noted that detail with disinterest. She didn't know a lot about yordles, but even if the squeaky creatures possessed night vision it wouldn't save her prey once they were within slashing distance.
"Thank you for having me here," Evelynn giggled as she shed her human facade to reveal her true form. Wisps of darkness replaced her porcelain skin, her silken and velvet clothes and mask merged into her body, disappearing from sight. The demoness' fiery hair was dyed a bleached white color, talons grew out from her fingertips while her lashers lifted from the floor hovering behind her like a pair of obedient bloodhounds ready to be unleashed on a terrified woodland creature.
"I knew there was something different in you, but that's unexpected." Teemo sighed in what sounded like mild disappointment.
Evelynn frowned at the lack of reaction. Perhaps her prey was naively mistaking her for a simple shapeshifter? Regardless, she had some punishment to administer and agony to unravel from the depths of this being. The demoness' eyes glimmered in the dark, her lashers lunging forward to cut shallow strips against the man's flesh.
She would take her time, nice and slow, basking in the screams and terror of the small creature as the torture escalated. Evelynn's trail of thought was derailed when her lashers were suddenly parried by what appeared to be a crimson tail with a spade-like tip.
"You are so feisty my dear, and here I was contemplating the chances of the two of us meeting in this backwater town." Smiled the shorter demon as he too shed his false skin. His cream-colored fur gave way to a red mane of dense crimson hair, hooves crushed his pricey leather shoes and an enormous pair of arched black horns spurted out from his temples. A golden crown, alight with sin, appeared above his head, hovering there like a perverse beacon of sinister light.
Evelynn was taken aback. She had only encountered two other demons before after materializing in the mortal plane and while those two had been terrifically entertaining and alluringly despicable in their own right, she had never once laid eyes on such a perfectly vile being before.
Teemo oozed wrongness in a way that made her lashers tingle with excitement. Her eyes regarded his twisted body, taking in the sight of how stunning he was in his sculptured imperfection, his corrupted image being the realization of her wettest nightmares in the flesh. His miasma filled the void in the starving crater where her soul should be, his negativity sated Evelynn's hunger for torment and pain.
Unbeknownst to her, Teemo was also taken with the dark predatory beauty of her primal form. Lashers and spaded tail interweaved as the two demons unwittingly closed the distance between them with dazed steps.
Evelynn basked in the wretched radiance of Teemo's malevolent crown while he was lost in the pitch blackness of her thorned soul.
"You are so beautiful," The demoness whispered as she knelt down to touch his face with her bright pink talons, "You emit hate the same way the sun emits light."
"Your inconceivable darkness draws me in like a black hole." Rasped the yordle-demon, leaning forward to press his lips against Evelynn's.
The two kissed taking in the other's caustic essence, shadows and sulphuric fumes swirled around them tying them in a carnal pact of eerie magnificence.
OOOO
The bacon sizzled on the frying pan as Teemo turned the fatty strips over with a spatula. The demon whistled an upbeat tune to himself as he placed a plate of sunny side up eggs on the kitchen table.
"Thank you, my love, but I am afraid that I have to go. Lissandra has a new case for me." Smiled Evelynn, leaning down to place a quick kiss on the male demon's fuzzy cheek. The infernal seductress was wearing the upper part of a strict dark blue suit along with a long skirt of the same color. A pair of reading glasses was perched on her nose and a long black pursue was held under her arm.
"That damned witch of a boss is taking advantage of you, I swear." Mumbled the peeved yordle with an agitated huff, "She can't have you working overtime just because you are her best attorney." He grumbled softly.
"I will be back before you even notice it. You know I don't like staying awake from you two if I can't help it." Cooed the smartly-dressed woman, leaning lower to kiss Teemo's pregnant belly. The male demon huffed once more in reply, but a tiny smile teased the edges of his lips, his crimson tail swaying gently behind him.
"Fine," He muttered as he returned back to the bacon he was frying, "Remember to bring back a victim or two when you return home, we are running out of prisoners in the basement." He grimaced.
"Sure, honey." Evelynn grinned as she stepped out of the kitchen ready for another long day in the infernal courtrooms of Valoran.