Howdy! So first of all, thanks so much for the lovely reviews! You guys are awesome! The songs I picked for this chapter are "I feel it all" by Feist and "Middle of Nowhere" by Hot Hot Heat. I like to use popular songs so that you can hear it in your head while you read. Anyhoodle, love to stothep and fangbanger06 for being my betas and soundboards.

And cause I forgot the first time...Disclaimer Whitney Houston style - I own nothing...nothing...nothiiiiing...

Waylon Forge dressed more like a lumberjack than a caretaker. He wouldn't have looked out of place in Forks with his plaid and fading baseball cap. I secretly wondered if he grew up there.

"Right this way, Miss Swan," he indicated to the elevator. I stepped in, checking my hair briefly in the mirrored wall. The muzac was in fine form this afternoon; the elevator gods had picked "Tie a Yellow Ribbon." I did a cheesy dedication to Charlie, Carlisle and all my friends at Forks High. Wooo!

My bracelet glinted, the diamond heart catching the bright lights. I fingered it unconsciously, the cold hard stone giving me reassurance. I let it fall back, clicking against the little wooden wolf.

Jacob.

He hadn't answered my calls before I left. Billy said that he was at the Makah rez as an ambassador and wouldn't be back for a few weeks. I wondered if he would find his imprint there and there was a sudden ache in my chest. I blamed it on Charlie's chilli but my brain screamed otherwise.

"Will your friend be joining you?" Waylon's voice snapped me out of my reverie.

"Friend?" I ran through my conversations with Tanya and, later, Edward in my head. I couldn't recall them mentioning a roommate.

He took in my apparent confusion. "My mistake. I must have been thinking about some other tenant."

"We're here," he said a few seconds later, using his body to hold the door open, both hands occupied by my bags. I would never have taken so many bags if not for Alice and her newly-recruited minion Tanya dragging me to the shops and ordering ridiculously over-priced products off the internet. Whoever taught Alice how to turn on a computer should have been kicked in the disco balls. I had narrowed my eyes at Emmett, who backed away with his hands up in an obvious declaration of guilt. If Jasper hadn't calmed us all down I would have ripped through the millionth dress they made me try on just so I could take a baseball bat to Emmett's head.

I walked in and immediately the bags fell from my hands as I stared, open-mouthed, at the place that was supposed to be my home for the next few months.

"Oh. My. God"

"Pretty fancy, huh?" Waylon passed me, grinning at my disbelief.

"Uh-huh."

Fancy was the understatement of the millennium.

The loft-style apartment was breathtaking, with high ceilings and minimalist decor. I kept invoking the divine on repeat as I ran my hands over the sumptuous fabric of the over-stuffed couch. The kitchen was fitted out in stainless steel and wood and a spiral staircase led to what I believed was the bedroom. I pressed my fingers against the glass, my breath condensing on the surface as I took in the panoramic view of the city. It reminded me so much of the Cullen home, with its open spaces and lots of natural light. I knew I would be very happy here.

Waylon cleared his throat behind me.

"I've left my card with the keys on the dining table. If ever you need anything, give me a call." He tipped his cap and let himself out.

I took time to explore my surroundings. Everything was so perfect and unused. Even the rubbish bin looked designer. I fully expected to see a Philippe Starck signature on the inside of the lid. I stopped myself when I realised I was about to stick my head in a rubbish bin ... a beautiful bin...but a bin nonetheless.

I kept wandering about, ooohing and aaahing to non-existent people. The apartment was really too big for me to live in all by myself. I was comforted by the fact that I wouldn't be here for too long and with my superior friend-making skills I'd be throwing raves in no time.

Pffft yeah...I wish.

I decided to help myself to a bottle of wine, scrounging around for a box of crackers while I was at it. I came up empty.

"So much for authentic loft living," I mumbled into my wine glass. It looked expensive, like crystal-guarded-by-dragons-and-has-magical-properties-kinda expensive. I walked around admiring the beautiful and most probably original artwork and upstairs was no different. I stopped in front of a large picture that hung between the two bedrooms.

I squinted, walking backwards to gain perspective and almost falling off the balcony in the process.

It couldn't be...

I gulped down more wine, which later I realised wouldn't have helped my vision in the first place.

Dear Lord, they look like boobs...a sea of boobs.

I was sure they represented something deep like motherhood or the impermanence of life or whatever but all I saw was boobs...hundreds and hundreds of boobs.

Maybe Edward painted it...A boob for every year he didn't score.

I snort-giggled at the thought and then felt a twinge of guilt. Laughing at someone's virginity when they give you a lavish roof over your head was sure to attract bad karma. Right on cue it hit me with a massive headache.

"Urgh." I fell back on the massive bed, palms-down on the crisp cotton sheets. I groaned as the phone vibrated in my pocket. Even moving my hands a few inches seemed to make my head pound in protest. I shuffled and groaned and managed to locate the offending item. I grunted into the receiver.

"Nice talking to you too, sunshine."

I scrambled to get myself upright.

Shit. It felt like all the blood in my brain rushed down to my feet.

"Jacob."

That came out breathier than I had expected. Stupid wine.

"When did you get back?"

"Today...I'm sorry I missed you. Billy keeps forgetting I have a cell phone now." He laughed. My insides flip-flopped in response.

"So... what are you doing today?" I sounded like I was operating a phone sex line.

"Err... nothing much but I can guess what you've been doing."

"Oh really? Amuse me."

"Let's see...you've raided their wine stock and now you're nursing a headache on your bed."

"Ha! Why don't you tell me what I'm wearing next?"

What was wrong with me?

His voice was dangerously low. "That depends on whether you're talking about real life or my imagination. Cause there's far less..."

I think I may have whimpered before I cut him off.

"Knock it off, Black! Now tell me how you know what I've been doing. Is there a live feed in this room? Are you watching me right now, you perve?" I looked around frantically, my voice going up a few octaves in the process.

Now the wine was making me paranoid...brilliant!

"Calm down, Bells. The little one told me."

"Claire knows what I'm doing?" My brain was officially mush. No - scratch that. Mush had a higher IQ than I. Bacteria had more brain function than the crap I was spewing.

"No... Alice" I could hear the frustration in his voice. I wouldn't want to talk with me either.

"Oh."

My eloquence knows no bounds.

"Wait! What were you doing with Alice?"

"You'll know soon enough."

I sighed. I was honestly up to here with this supernatural mystery. I hummed the "Twilight Zone" theme at him. The vamps and the wolves could go get a room and create a hybrid for all I cared. I just wanted to sleep.

"I get the hint, Bells. I'll call you later, k?"

I mumbled "mmmkay" and let the phone clatter onto the wooden floor.

Ahhh, blessed sleep.

It was dark when I woke up. The bright green digits of the clock showed 11:00. I realised I had wasted an entire day drinking wine, looking at boobs and talking dirty to my best friend. I was in mid-groan when the fridge door slammed.

Oh, crap.

I scrambled to find the can of mace in my bag and crept out, keeping close to the wall. I opened the door a crack and squinted at the lights. I knew I didn't leave them on before I crashed.

Of all the people to break in, it had to be a candidate for "World's Dumbest Criminals."

I typed out 911 on my phone and made my way downstairs. The 911 was for the burglar. He was gonna need an ambulance after I was done with him. A backpack lay on the kitchen counter and the back of a lanky body stuck out from the fridge.

"Good luck finding anything in there, buddy."

The body straightened up immediately.

"I should have figured," he replied.

"Now turn around very slowly with your hands up. No wolfy business, you hear? Some of the stuff here cost more than what I'll get parading you on the freak show circuit."

He laughed, complying with my request before wrapping his huge arms around me in a tight hug.

"Seth, don't make me mace you," I gasped out. He dropped me and leaned against the kitchen counter.

I threatened him with the mace one more time before placing it on the counter.

"What's this? Am I running a halfway house now? Does Sue know you're here? Are you in trouble?" I felt myself go into mom-mode.

"Nope, I'm here for an internship, just like you."

"That's awesome! What for? " I sat on the barstool, effectively reaching his shoulders.

"It's at an art school. Edward and Mum submitted some of my stuff. I didn't even know till I got the letter a few days ago. I hope I'm not being a pain in the ass. Edward said it'll be fine, but if you want me to leave..."

"No...don't be silly. I was just thinking it'd be nice to have some company." I patted his arm as he pushed a few strands of hair off his face. It was strangely reminiscent of Jacob. Like looking at a much younger version of him. If his younger version was 6-foot-something with tickets to the gun show.

"You hungry?"

"Naw, I was just being greedy. Don't mind some wine though," he wriggled his eyebrows at the half-empty bottle.

"Not on my watch, buddy."

"But I'm..."

"I don't care if you're the almighty Alpha himself. You're underage so end of discussion. We'll go shopping tomorrow, k? Now up to bed. Your room's on the right."

"Ok...mom" he sprinted up the stairs before I could mace him.

I grabbed the bottle of wine and tapped my palm against the cork, wondering if I should put it in the fridge.

Hi, I'm Bella Swan and I evidently don't belong in this place. They'd sniff out my fake ass in a nanosecond.

I opened the fridge door.

To hell with the snobs.

"Bella?" Seth yelled from upstairs.

"On the right, Seth!" I yelled back.

"Why do we have a picture of boobs?"

Did ya like it? Did ya? I feel like the Bella/Seth living arrangement should get its own theme song...