Eva paced back and forth in her bedroom. She'd been fighting with herself for the better part of thirty minutes. Her family's surprise visit topped with Cristian's violent outburst caused her fight instincts to trigger. If John hadn't been there, she probably would have shot him. Then again, if John hadn't been there Cris might not have lost his cool in the first place.
Now John was gone, and she was left alone to deal with Lisa and Layla. Lisa had been tolerable, but, as it got closer to the holidays, she started to miss Evangeline more. She was again pushing for Eva to return to Maryland and retry the memory therapy. She constantly sent her articles and videos on memory restoration and each time it made Eva a little more upset. Since she'd turned over a new leaf, she was committed to being nicer. She always said she would look into whatever crazy treatment Lisa was suggesting. On a couple of occasions, she was genuinely interested, but Lisa's insistence had set her against any sort of healing.
Layla had been her same abrasive self, so Eva had been ignoring her calls altogether. It was really unfortunate because Eva hadn't had a chance to bond with her niece. Lisa had sent her a couple of photos, but that was it. Eva thought that she would make a sign of good will, but it hadn't been well received. That was probably what had caused her family to drop in for a surprise visit.
Eva only grew angrier the more she thought of it. Her instinct was to tell them all to go to hell and send them back to the East coast. She thought better of it and decided for the simple option, the truth. For a moment she considered calling John. This was her family and her fight, though. This was a stand she would need to take alone. She would cry to him later if needed, but she decided to rely on her own strength.
It felt strange being nervous about confronting someone in her own home. She hated continually feeling like an outsider in her own life. She shook off the nerves, grabbed the offending paperwork from her filing cabinet, and walked toward the living room. The faint whispers were either because they didn't want her to hear what they were talking about or the baby was sleeping.
As she rounded the corner, she could see Layla rocking the baby in her arms. Their eyes met only briefly. If looks could kill, they would both be dead. Layla gave her a wide berth as she walked past her down the hall. Eva noted how they had all made themselves right at home even though Eva was visibly upset by their presence. She didn't see Cristian, so that was a good start.
"Evangeline," Lisa followed Layla's angry gaze. "Sweetheart, I've been so worried." Lisa wrung her hands as she thought about approaching her.
Eva sighed and walked over to the sofa and joined her. Things were so strained between them now. She didn't know where to start. "I know your hearts were in the right place when you guys were dreaming this all up. I just wish I had a heads up first." Eva knew why they hadn't tried to make plans in advance. She was notorious for cancelling last minute and that would have ruined the holiday for most of them.
"You are right. We should have called first, but baby it's just been so long. You didn't come home for Thanksgiving or at all during the summer break. Living on different coasts makes weekend getaways almost impossible." Lisa knew that was a big contributor to Eva moving across the country. "After that thing with the student, I couldn't go another several months without seeing you."
"Well, you're all here now, so I guess we can just make the best of it. How long are you guys staying? It's pretty last minute, but we can go to the grocery store and stock up on supplies." Eva needed to know exactly how long she would have to endure her family. She and John had made plans just to be alone together, but that was out of the question now.
"It would be nice if you, me, and your sister could all get together and cook a Christmas Day meal. I did one of those online orders, so we should just be able to head to the store in a couple of hours to pick everything up. We're only staying through Saturday, so there's no need to go buying bunch of stuff you won't eat later on." Lisa smiled excitedly. She was expecting a lot more anger from Eva.
"And here I told John that we'd just be eating pizza for Christmas dinner." Eva decided not to avoid the elephant in the room. Layla returned at just the right moment to let out an aggravated sigh.
"So ruining Evangeline's life wasn't enough. You have to go and hook up with the worst of the worst of all of her exes. Classy, Eva. You really are making great life choices." Layla was still mad over the gun incident. She would have thought Eva would be more sensitive since one of the students had nearly shot her.
"Layla," Lisa didn't disagree, but she was hoping that John would at least have the decency to stay away while her family was in town. She hoped that Cris was talking some sense into him.
"Mom, you know I'm right. This isn't fair to Evangeline." Layla sat in a chair nearest to Lisa. She glared openly at Eva. If she wanted to fight, Layla was ready for her.
"What I'm doing isn't fair? You're married to her ex? You two only hooked up because he was still in love with Evangeline. Are you really so pathetically jealous of her that you would settle for her sloppy seconds?" The little bit of patience that Eva had was now gone. Normally, she tried to keep the peace for Lisa's sake, but the gloves were off now.
"You go straight to hell. I loved my sister. She and Cris broke up before she was even in that coma, but it's not like you'd know that. You're just so hellbent on ruining everything that she worked for. Now you've even stooped so low that you're willing to basically steal from her." Layla had agreed with her mother not to bring up certain topics, but she had broken that promise.
"Girls, please." Lisa's heart hurt at their arguing. She had never witnessed such turmoil between the two. They'd had their disagreements, but they always made up quickly.
Eva paused at Lisa's pleading. She looked over at her and that was enough for her to regain her composure. If she was really going to keep being better, she needed to do better. She couldn't keep letting Layla push her buttons. "If by stealing, you mean changing MY will. I am Evangeline Williamson. At least that what it says on my driver's license. At least that's what you all keep telling me. I have every right to change my will; to change my address; or to date whoever the hell I want."
"Okay, okay. Let's just calm down." Lisa reached out to touch Layla. She was certain that Layla would be the one daughter that wouldn't reject her. "Eva, I know you mean well, but we're just asking that you think this through. Evangeline never did anything without careful planning and consideration. Honey, I'm sure you mean well."
Eva tossed her head back and laughed. "How can you be so dead set against what I want to do when you haven't even asked what I plan on doing? You just automatically assume the worst."
"This is you we're talking about, so why shouldn't we." Layla still wasn't buying this reformed Eva act.
Lisa tapped Layla's hand lightly. "Well, what did you have in mind? Maybe it's something we can all agree on."
"I'm not asking for your permission or anyone else's." Eva snapped unintentionally. "I am of sound mind and sound body. This choice is mine and mine alone. Though I am not completely selfish. I am doing what Evangeline would have done if she were here."
"I just think the problem is that you are so different from Evangeline. I know you probably mean well, but this is probably something that is best left alone." Lisa certainly didn't want to inherit from her daughter's estate, but she knew she was a named beneficiary. If Eva started making changes, she didn't know where all of Evangeline's hard-earned money would end up.
"I think we can all agree that Evangeline cared for her family. I'm sure you all would have left me alone long ago if that wasn't the case. In her stead, I'm making sure that her family is taken care of the way she would want. That means reallocating planned disbursements to include her newborn niece, Yessenia. By and large, she will be the largest inheritor and the money will be used for the furtherance of her education and the growth of her emotional, physical, and spiritual wellbeing." Eva looked at them both to see what further objections they could possibly have.
Layla was stunned into silence. The evil woman that was still wearing her sister's skin had done something incredibly thoughtful. Despite herself, she started to tear up. "Oh, wow."
"Eva. I had no idea." Lisa looked over at her apologetically. Her hesitance showed her complete lack of faith in Eva. "I'm so sorry that I didn't at least hear you out."
"Look, I get it. I've been more than difficult to deal with in the past." Eva looked at them both sincerely. She'd lost it for a moment, but she'd regained her composure. Now maybe they would really take to heart what she needed to say. "It's just so hard living in the shadow of this great woman. Evangeline was so much to so many people. All those constant reminders were just too much for me, so I lashed out. I pushed everyone away because I couldn't bear their disappointment. She was so incredible, and I'm not. She was extraordinary, and I'm just average." She saw that Lisa wanted to interrupt so she held her hand up to stop her.
"Everyday that I tried and failed to be her was so painful for me. I hated myself. I hated her. Someday she might come back, and I don't know what that means for me. It's scary to think that maybe someday I just won't exist anymore. For so long, I've been fighting against her because of that. But I realize now, I can't just keep living my life in fear. I can only be me and that's what I'm going to do. I'm going to keep being me, and not just the angry remnants of a bitter woman. I finally love myself. I know you might have a hard time forgetting about the things I've done in the past, so I'm not asking you to love me. I just want you to accept me." Eva felt better for finally getting out the words she'd held back for so long. She looked to Lisa and Layla for a favorable reaction.
"See? You said it." Layla chimed in. "If you just tried, you could be her. Fine, you're scared. I get that. Being so far away from home and hooking up with John McBain are not things that are ever going to bring Evangeline back. I don't want to get on board with a plan where you're not at least trying to be normal again."
Layla's words were like a punch to the gut for Eva. She'd laid her heart out, and she only heard what she'd wanted. Maybe she shouldn't have been surprised that Evangeline's selfish little sister would only want what would make her life easiest.
"I think what Layla is trying to say is that we're glad to help you in anyway we can." Lisa looked at her sincerely. "You can still be you in Maryland. You'll be close to all of your family and friends. I'd love to have someone at home to keep me company. Your new outlook on life is bound to have a positive impact on your recovery."
Eva felt something inside of her break. She didn't need any long or sentimental speeches. She just needed to hear that they were willing to get to know her. No matter how they intended it, it sounded like they were only willing to accept her if she was willing to start trying to be Evangeline again. That was the one thing she would not do. Still committed to being a better person, she decided that distance from them was what she needed.
She walked wordlessly through to the closet to grab her coat and purse. She could feel their confused looks burning into her back, but neither of them said anything. "Thank you both for hearing me and completely missing point." Then she left them alone in her house. She didn't know where she was going, but she would figure it out.
"I was expecting this place to be a lot more spartan." Eve surveyed John's apartment and was pleasantly surprised by the décor. He'd always lived as a minimalist, ready to pick up and move at a moment's notice. It hadn't been great for making lasting connections, but Eve never knew how to approach her son about the topic.
"Yeah, well, I figured I'd try something new this time." John set her bags down near the dresser. He normally had a drawer or two to offer her, but he barely had enough room for all of his things and the things that Eva had chosen to store here. "Hope you don't mind living out of the suitcase this time."
"I won't make you suffer me this time. Marcie set us up at an Airbnb. We'll be staying here in town, so you will still be able to let your hair down." Eve continued to look around and was truly impressed. She'd never really know what John's style was, but this place just seemed to describe him perfectly. "Did you do all of this decorating yourself?"
John nervously ran his hand through his hair. "No. I had some really good help." Eva had dragged him around to several stores and forced him to pick out different pieces. She assured him that it would all work together, but he doubted her. She'd spent the afternoon arranging and decorating. There were a few things that she added in here and there, but they were all things John liked. After making some changes of his own, he was pleased with the outcome. For the first time in a long time, the place where he was living actually felt like home.
"Did I hear her name right? Eva?" Eve started in gently. She knew some of their history, but she preferred John's recollection to Michael's. It was easier to understand her son when she heard his perspective. "She's the attorney from Llanview. The one that went after your badge?"
"Yeah. That's her." John already knew he wasn't getting out of here anytime soon. He sat down on the arm of the sofa and faced her. "I'm sure Mike's told you all about it."
Eve smiled patiently. "He did, but I'd rather hear it from you." Eve had hoped that Evangeline was going to be a more permanent fixture in his life, so she'd sent him her pearls. She was disappointed when he returned them to her.
"Short version. I screwed up. Long version. I screwed up." John wished he had a beer about now. "What Mike doesn't know is that she moved here shortly after she left Llanview. Gunner probably even mentioned her once or twice, but I didn't make the connection. She was in an accident and it left her with amnesia. Her attack on me wasn't exactly personal because she didn't really know me. She was just lashing out at people from her old life."
"Finding love has never been easy for you John. I've watched from a distance hoping that someday you would find someone who was truly meant for you." Eve loved Caitlyn, but she never understood how she and John would maintain their happiness. Caitlyn was sensitive, so John had to hold in his emotions even more so with her. She knew better than to meddle in the affairs of her sons, so she could only watch from afar. Then she'd watched her son suffer in very much the same way she had. He was so used to suppressing his emotions that he'd dealt with her death like he had so many other things, alone.
"Sounds like a lot of fancy words." The idea of soulmates made John feel uncomfortable. He knew that the world was a very big place. The idea of find the one person you were meant to be with among millions just didn't seem likely. Yet, he was continually drawn to Evangeline.
"You've been through so much already, John. I really hope you aren't setting yourself up for heartache." Eve wished she could see his face, but his hair hung down over his eyes.
"Too late for that." John swiped the hair away from his face and looked at her regretfully.
"Oh, John," Eve wanted to go to him, but she kept her distance. She needed to let him get it out in his own way.
"It was probably always too late." John smiled but it wasn't funny. "We were really good together, but it was never going to work with the way I was. She tried, but you know how stubborn I can be. Then we weren't together anymore, and I couldn't stop thinking about her. Then she was in the coma and it was like losing Caitlyn all over. Now she's here, and she's the same but not the same. I'm here, and I'm the same but I'm not the same. We're happy, and I just can't walk away from that." That was probably the most open John had been with his mother ever. He'd left out a lot of details but getting super specific wasn't going to change the basic facts.
Eve looked over at him patiently. John did make plans, but maybe not as long-term as he needed. Eve saw this as the same situation as with Caitlyn. "What happens when she gets her memory back?" Eve vowed not to make the same mistake twice. This time she would make him think about a future that maybe he hadn't imagined.
"I know you don't think I've thought about that, but I have." John shifted uncomfortably. "I care about her. I want what is best for her. Honestly, I can't think of a better place for her than right here with me."
Eve was shocked by John's very direct statement. He wasn't saying love, but he was classifying himself as being better than her family and friends; the life she'd worked so hard to build. "I'm sure some people disagree."
"I know a lot of people disagree, but this isn't about them. It's about us. I don't know what happens if she regains her memories. She's always been so damn ambitious, so I can't imagine that she'd want to stay here. That means I'd have to be ready to go with her. I'd have to show her that I'm the man that she needs me to be. Maybe I don't have it all figured out just yet, but I'm working on it." John stood to stretch his legs. He walked over and sat close to his mother.
"Honey, we are who we are. I just want you to keep that in mind." Eve rubbed her hand over his.
"No one ever said change was easy." John smiled that his mother was ever the realist. She had remained silent far too often, but when she did give her opinion it was always straightforward. "I wasn't happy for a long time. The man that I was before is why I always ended up alone. I convinced myself that it was okay, better, to be alone. I was wrong. I don't want to be alone anymore. That doesn't happen unless I get over it, all of it."
Eve's heart broke again. John was just a child when his father died, and she was too wrapped up in her own pain to make sure he was okay. She mistook his grief for strength. John took care of everyone else except himself. It showed because he was the only one who was still tormented over his father's death, even after bringing is killer to justice. "Well, I'd love to help you along the way, John. You can count on me."
"I always knew I could." John winked at her and pulled her into a hug. He was his own man and wouldn't put the blame on his mother for his shortcomings. "I think we should call Mikey. He's probably dying to know what's going on."
"That's probably an understatement. Come on. We have a surprised planned for you." Eve took him by the hand and led him out of his apartment. This was going to be a long holiday. She only hoped her son didn't get his heart broken when all was said and done.