As always I'd like to thank stothep for beta-ing and fangbanger06 for being an ultimate cheerleader. I dont know what I'd do without them. Thank YOU for your reviews and love. I really do appreciate them. And finally, all I own is my imagination and a dinky little laptop.

More than life - Whitley

What in the name of all that's holy just happened?

I closed the door and slumped against it, pinching the bridge of my nose. I almost kissed Jacob Black. No, scratch that, I almost had sex with Jacob Black on the stairs. Ok, so I was over-reacting. I mean, we didn't even get to second base. Second base... I imagined his hand moving up my top, my legs straddling his hips, my hands grabbing at his denim-covered thighs, his warm fingers unhooking my...

I groaned a mixture of lust and frustration.

"Are you ok?"

Seth was sitting on the exact same step, his lanky arms draped over his knees.

"WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU WOLF BOYS?"

I stomped past him up to my room and slammed the door, the sound reverberating through the space.

Ok, so I'm a drama queen.

I flung myself onto the bed and flailed around for a bit, hoping that pounding the pillow would pound some sense into my head.

What was wrong with me? It's like whenever I think of him my whole being goes into slut mode.

"Jacob is a FRIEND, Bella," I muttered, gritting my teeth. "Just because he looks like a sex god in those jeans and wearing that brown shirt that felt so good under your..."

I shook my head.

Damn slutty mind.

There was a knock on the door. I opened it to find Seth looking miserable.

"I'm so..."

"Ah ah ah," I held up my hand. I was not in the mood for apologies and I did not want to be a part of whatever he and Jacob had going on.

"But..."

"Honestly, Seth, do you not see the hand? Meet the hand, Seth. The hand does not want to hear it and by extension, neither do I. Right now, all that the hand wants to do is hold a heaping spoon of ice cream. Do you want to anger the hand Seth? Are you going to deny the hand its ice cream?"

"N...n...no."

"Thaaat's a good boy. Now, you wanna go have some ice cream with me?"

He nodded his head. I thought I heard him mutter "that time of the month" behind me but he feigned innocence when I shot him a bitch glare.

We sat at the kitchen table, Seth's feet touching the floor even on the precariously high bar stools. We ate the chocolate ice cream in silence apart from the random clinking of spoons and an occasional murmur from Seth as he finished his third bowl. The nervous tension in the air was palpable; we were both dreading the upcoming weekend for different reasons. At one point our eyes locked. Fear of an ass-whooping from Jacob hung in his eyes. Mine (and I hope he didn't notice) held the fear of another kind of ass-whooping from Jacob. One that I was gonna avoid at any cost.

We made our way back to Forks on Friday afternoon. I stopped the truck outside my house and told Seth he could phase and get back to the rez if he wanted to, that I would bring his bags a little later. He took my bags into the house, shot me a parting look and loped off into the forest. I could sense his apprehension. I couldn't decide if I should have hugged him or smacked him for the staircase interruption. God knows what would have happened if he hadn't intervened with 80's music. I wondered if hugging him in front of Jacob would result in me finding him mauled to death in the forest.

He'd look at me with a pitiful look in his eyes. "Why...why couldn't you keep your fucking hands to yourself?" You know what? If I want to hug a friend, I'll hug a friend. Jake be damned.

I left a note for Charlie telling him that I was going to La Push and that I would call if I was getting late. I climbed into the truck and gripped the steering wheel till my knuckles turned white.

Get a grip, Bella. Remember when he was just your geeky, un-buff friend? Remember when he had My Little Pony hair that you wanted to braid? Remember when he wasn't advertising washboards under that t-shirt? Remember how that washboard felt when you dragged your hand over...

I smacked my face against the steering wheel. The horn blared, making me jump back.

Ow.

I checked my mirror to see a large red mark on my forehead.

Great, add a vertical line to that and the whole world will know what I really am.

I rubbed at it till it looked less obvious and I promised myself that I wouldn't act like a sex-starved maniac in front of Jacob. "I am a strong, independent woman. Not a shameless, desperate hussy," I muttered like a mantra, occasionally looking out towards the forest, wondering if the pack had already sent out the welcome wagon for Seth.

I stopped in front of the familiar red house and saw that a few cars were already parked in front. I clambered out and paused as soon as I saw the black Impala among them. It looked amazing – a far cry from the stripped hunk of metal Jacob dragged in to renovate after selling the Rabbit.

"Independent woman, not shameless hussy," I muttered one last time before plastering a big smile on my face and knocking on the door.

Paul opened the door wearing low-rise jeans and an open shirt. His mouth was full of crisps and he held up a finger while he chewed and swallowed. Rachel had taught him some manners.

I crossed my arms, leaning against the door frame and pointedly tapping my watch. Paul stretched out his arms, filling the entire doorway.

"Well, well. Bella Swan."

"Hi, Paul. Nice to see you, too. Can I come in now?" I deadpanned.

"Sure, let me just tell the guys you're here." He looked past my shoulder and yelled at the forest.

"Seth's girlfriend is here!" He smirked before feigning a look of horror. "Or is it Jake's?"

I heard a howl in the distance and a crashing sound in the undergrowth.

Oh, great.

"Thanks a lot, dickhead!" I pushed past him and made my way to the crowded kitchen. Leah and Emily were poring over a cookbook while Kim kept stirring the pots bubbling on the stove and talking to Rachel. I glimpsed Billy and Sam at the back having a beer. Sam looked shell-shocked while Billy sported an amused grin.

Poor guy must be going nuts with the wedding.

No one noticed I had come in till Paul came up behind me and poked me on either side of my stomach, making me squeal like a stuck pig. There was silence as everyone stopped and looked at us. I stared daggers at Paul as he sat down at the kitchen counter, shoving his hands into the open packet of crisps.

"Oh, yeah, Bella's here," he said with a mouth full of crisps. Rachel smacked him on the back of his head.

"What have I told you about talking with food in your mouth? Honestly, it's like living with an animal!"

Paul grinned and stuck his tongue out. "I don't hear you complaining about that in bed, baby."

"Aaaaaand this is where I say 'hi' to Bella!" Emily came over to give me a hug. She was hardly showing but she glowed. She looked so happy that I couldn't help but mirror her smile. Leah and Kim smiled back. I was surprised at Leah's involvement and made a mental note to ask Jacob...I mean, Seth, about the whole situation. I focused back on Emily.

"You look amazing!"

"And so do you!" She grabbed my hand and made me sit at the counter. I waved at Billy and Sam and they raised their beers in reply. Paul was still making googly eyes at Rachel and throwing chips at her before she turned around, strode up to him and got on her tippy-toes to almost reach his eyes.

"Paul. Stop." He slouched against his seat, obviously defeated.

"Wow."

"Yup." She grinned. "Perks of being an imprint? He does whatever I want."

"Speaking of..." Leah muttered, her eyes still on the book. I knew he was here but I didn't want to look behind me. My whole body tensed up as I heard his footsteps. Leah threw an apple over my head and I heard a soft smack as it hit his palm. I gulped and flipped a page, not reading the words and trying hard not to attract attention to myself.

If I keep telling myself that he's not really here then I'll stop thinking about us on the kitchen table. Oh, my! The kitchen table...he's not here...he's not here...he's not here...

I flipped another page. It was really quiet. No one was willing to break the silence. I heard the apple smacking repeatedly against his palm. He was playing with it just like he was playing with me.

You are a strong independent woman. You don't hunch. You take the high road.

I opened my mouth to speak but he beat me to it. "Smells good, Rach." His deep voice washed over me as I buried my head in the book again. It was a recipe for blueberry muffins that had lots of notes and additions scribbled around it, presumably by Emily.

"Thanks, bro," Rachel threw over her shoulder. "Wanna taste?"

I felt him get closer and almost let out an audible gasp as his hand touched my shoulder; bracing himself against me as he leaned in to taste the sauce off the wooden spoon she held out. I thought I felt his thumb caress my back. I flipped a few more pages in rapid succession and tried not to hyperventilate as the heat seeped through the thin fabric of my top.

And just like that, I couldn't feel it anymore and I forced myself not to look back, my fingers gripping the pages as if I was drowning. I wondered where Seth was at this moment. Seth was safe, he would keep me strong. Seth and Debbie Harry against the hotness monster.

"So, Bella, you gonna be around for the bonfire?" Emily broke the silence.

"B...bonfire?"

"Yeah, cliché I know," Emily grinned, giving the bowl she was holding a quick stir. "But we thought we'd celebrate you and Seth getting your internships. It all happened so fast, we couldn't give you guys a proper send-off."

"That's so sweet, Em, I'll definitely stay. I just need to call Charlie and let him know I'll be getting late."

"That reminds me. We need to get some firewood," Jacob spoke again.

Paul groaned.

"Or we could just set you on fire." I heard him take a bite out of the apple.

"Ha-ha." Paul got up, the stool scraping loudly against the floor and earning him a death stare from Rachel. He picked it up before putting it back in its place and sheepishly followed who I hoped was Jacob out the door. I swung around on the stool only to realise that he hadn't left after all. I was face-to-t-shirt-covered-abs and I couldn't look away. I think I even opened and shut my mouth like a demented fish. He leaned forward, his hands trapping me against the counter. His face was inches from mine.

Oh, my god, he's gonna kiss me in front of everyone.

I still couldn't look up. I was a deer caught in the ab-lights.

Well at least have the decency to look at his face, cause right now you're looking at his crotch. Oh, crap.

I looked up with a jolt. It was too quiet. I wondered if everyone had passed out, cause I was about to from the sheer hotness standing in front of me. I closed my eyes and leaned forward, only to feel his breath on my ear.

Dammit.

"Ignoring me, Bells?" he whispered.

I shook my head slowly. He hummed against my ear.

Not a slut. Not a slut. Not a slut.

"So I'll see you tonight?" his nose grazed ever-so-lightly on my earlobe as I nodded my head. "Can't wait," he murmured.

I hummed in reply and swallowed nervously. When I opened my eyes he was gone, the door swinging softly closed. I think I held my breath the entire time.

Slut! Slut! Slut!

I helped with the cooking for the rest of the evening. Sam joined in to make his famous nachos. If anyone noticed the exchange between me and Jake, they didn't mention it and I sent up a silent "thank you" to the heavens. However, Em had a twinkle in her eyes which indicated a possible conversation about it at the bonfire.

I'll have to avoid her all night. That's easy; I'll just hide behind the beanpole.

On cue, the beanpole showed up carrying a huge bowl of chicken salad. He plonked it on the table and muttered, "Mum sent it," before making a mad dash for the door. He was fast but Leah was faster. She had his arms pinned behind him in a second.

"Oh, my God. Did Mum comb your hair?"

Seth hung his head and shook it violently, hoping to get the nerdy side-part out of it.

"Said...looked like...hooligan...beat me," he muttered and Leah released him. He immediately ran his fingers through his hair, making it stand up in awkward spikes on his head. He groaned in frustration; she had used gel and now he looked like a crazed porcupine. He gave up after a few minutes, burying his head in his hands. I patted him on the back.

He was dressed up in jeans and a button-down shirt. I looked like a hobo next to him. I pulled at my top, trying to make myself look respectable. I decided to let my hair down.

Jeans and a tank top. Real classy.

We made our way to First Beach, here the guys had already made a humongous fire. I recognised Embry and Quil adding more wood to the blazing pile. Quil jogged over to give me an awkward hug around the bowl I was holding and Embry shyly waved before throwing in another log.

"Err, shouldn't we calm that thing down?"

Quil chuckled before taking the bowl from my hands. "Why, Bella? Scared of a little heat?"

"No...I...I... I'm just ..." I faltered as Jacob stepped into the firelight.

Damn, that guy sure knows his cues.

He didn't notice me as he stared intently into the fire, occasionally taking a sip from his bottle of beer. He wore jeans and a plaid shirt, the sleeves rolled up to his elbows. The fire reflected in his dark eyes and his skin glinted in the flames.

I was just about to go back to the car after the recommended amount of dazed ogling when I heard him behind me.

"Bells, you came."

That's what she said. ..honestly, NOT funny anymore.

I focused on the top button of his shirt, which was undone, showing off a little triangle of skin near his collarbone that I was dying to touch. It wasn't the best place to focus but it had to do for now.

"You want a beer?"

"Err, yeah sure, why not?" I shrugged as he loped off to pull another bottle out of the cooler.

"You legal?"

"Are you?" I raised an eyebrow before clinking my bottle against his. He laughed before we both took a sip. The others trickled in, bearing unbelievable amounts of food, and I was dragged from one person to another to tell them for the millionth time how amazing the apartment was, how tiring the internship was and how annoying Seth gets when he doesn't get dessert. I was talking to Rachel about the little demons I had to look after when something compelled me to look past the fire. Jacob was staring at me but he looked away as soon as I caught his eye.

Awkward.

"I think he likes you," Rachel smirked, identical to her brother and walked off to sit on the sand between Paul's legs. He wrapped his arms around her waist and whispered something in her ear. I looked away, feeling like a perve for intruding on their private moment. Jacob didn't say a word, choosing to stay on the other side of the fire talking with Leah and Jared.

I managed to postpone the "juicy details" conversation with Emily until tomorrow. She wasn't too pleased but I promised that I would tell all – whatever that meant – at the bachelorette party.

Discussing unresolved sexual tension in a room full of strippers...nice.

As the fire was dying down the couples snuggled against the driftwood and I was feeling increasingly uncomfortable at my single status. Jake had disappeared with Seth so I let Em know I was gonna go for a walk.

"Not too far away, Bella," Sam and Emily chorused. They looked at each other and smiled and I felt warm and fuzzy inside for some reason.

"You two are gonna be such amazing parents." Sam smiled at me and placed a hand on Emily's stomach.

"Stay close and if you want us, just yell, ok?"

I nodded an affirmative and started walking towards the driftwood that Jake and I used to sit on. I sat on the sun-bleached branch and dug my feet into the sand, occasionally flicking grains off my toes before burying them again. I wondered if the water was cold before deciding that I really needed to take a dip.

Bad idea, Bella.

I stripped down to my underwear and waded out into the warm water. The gentle waves lapped at my thighs as I kept walking until it finally reached my neck.

This is how all horror movies start. You're just asking for mutant fish and serial killers to destroy you.

I let my arms float on the water, looking up at the silver moon. It was quiet save for the voices from the bonfire in the distance and the waves hitting the shore.

Peace at last.

I suddenly felt a tug on my leg. I kicked at it violently but the grip on my ankle grew tighter. I barely had a second to suck in a breath before I was pulled under into the darkness. I flailed underwater till I came in contact with a head. I grabbed a fistful of hair and tried to push myself up but a warm hand gripped my waist and propelled us both up to the surface. I spluttered and coughed as I closed my eyes and kept hitting.

See? SEE? This is what happens! You're gonna die and no one's gonna feel sorry cause it's all your fault. "Hasn't she watched any horror movies?" They'll ask and nod their heads in disappointment. "It's always the slutty one that dies first," Jacob will say before hitting on some other chick at the funeral. At MY funeral. Stupid Jacob and his stupid funeral sex...

"Can you stop splashing for one second? It's getting kinda annoying."

My arms stilled and I stopped kicking my legs. I didn't go under cause a pair of strong hands was on my hips. I opened one eye, praying that this was all a bad dream. He didn't look happy.

"What the hell are you doing?" His tone was grim.

"Swimming?"

"At this time? Alone?" His eyes drifted down from my face.

Oh, good lord, I'm in my underwear. He can see my boobs.

I thanked my senses for making me choose black this morning. White would have been a disaster.

Yes, Bella, cause black underwear somehow makes this situation oh-so-much better.

I slipped down a little and slapped him on the shoulder, the water making him flinch.

"What the hell is wrong with you?"

This seemed to be a recurring question in my life.

"I was trying to scare some sense into you!"

"Well, mission accomplished," I replied sardonically. I tried to swim away but he dragged me back, his arms wrapping around my waist, pulling me flush against his body. If I wasn't so angry I would have been turned on as hell. He grabbed me by the nape of my neck. My wet hair entangled in his fingers.

"Have you completely lost your fucking mind? I was trying to teach you a lesson. You keep doing these stupid, reckless things. You could have been fucking hurt!"

I started to get hysterical, my voice going up another octave with each sentence. Soon enough, I'd go supersonic.

"Who the fuck are you to tell me what I can or can't do? We're just friends Jake, and friends let friends do whatever the hell they want. Sam and Emily knew where I was so why don't you get a fucking..."

Before I could even breathe his lips were on mine. It was rough and hard and I could feel all his anger poured into the kiss. No longer feeling the sand under my feet, I wrapped them around his waist, grinding myself against him. He bit at my bottom lip, growling as he moved his hands under my bare thigh to pull me closer. I moaned as his hand fisted in my hair, while mine ran over his chest and his back, tracing the V that disappeared into his jeans.

I parted my lips and he immediately stopped. His eyes were darker than usual. I wasn't sure if it was anger or lust. He brought my face close to his. His voice was dangerously low.

"Don't you ever pull shit like this with me again!"

We were back in the shallows but my legs were still wrapped around his waist. The denim clung to him like a second skin as I slid off and watched him wade back to the shore. I traced my now-swollen lower lip and shivered when I realised the water had gotten colder.

Emily definitely doesn't need to know about this.

My chapters seem to be getting longer and longer lol. You wanna tell me how much you love/adore/loathe me? Review! I'd love to know what you think. I promise I will try to answer any questions you may have, like was Seth cockblocking his Alpha in the last chapter? Yes, yes he was... cause he's awesome like that. :)