The first ever combined Williamson-Vega-McBain Christmas Eve dinner was a huge success. Eva took John's advice and showed a softer side to her family. She wasn't sure if they knew she was being sincere, or if they thought she was just being well behaved to impress John. Either way, it didn't matter to her. She could only try at this point.
This was the first holiday where Eva hadn't been subjected to awe inspiring tales of her younger former self. Conversation was instead focused on everyone's work lives. Lisa, Marcie, Eva, and Cristian were all teachers so they swapped stories and advice about students. Layla and Eve had the most entertaining stories since they switched jobs more than the others. Michael and John interjected humor as needed. The nature of their work was often grim and tragic, so they didn't share too many stories.
John had spent most of the night at Eva's side. He was a buffer that stepped in whenever the conversation started to make Eva uncomfortable. The man had been impossibly dense in the past, but he was now keenly aware of Eva's mood and disposition, and she was aware of his as well. All of the social interaction seemed to be draining him. She kissed him on the cheek and urged him to take a few minutes to recharge alone. He was grateful for the relief. He subtly excused himself and stepped outside.
John wasn't the only one who needed a moment alone. Layla pulled on her gloves as she stepped outside into the cold. Her little girl was down for a nap and it was time for mommy to have a minute to herself. She blew into her hands to try and warm them, but the cold was too much to overcome. Just as she was deciding to head back inside, she saw John standing off to the side. He was staring into the dark night and looked lost in thought. Now was as good a time as any to clear the air with him.
"You are going to freeze out here," Layla called out to him to announce her presence. She walked over to him hesitantly. He'd silently disappeared earlier, so she guessed that he too was looking for a moment alone.
"It's not really that bad." John turned to face her with a smile on his face. He watched as she closed the distance between them. He observed her silently noting how much she'd changed. When she came to Llanview, she was just Evangeline's busybody little sister. Now she was a business owner, a wife, and a mother. That was a far cry from the aspirations she dreamed about before.
"John, I'm actually glad that I have you alone." Layla wouldn't waste time beating around the bush. It was cold outside and before too long Cris would surely come looking for her.
"Oh really?" John looked down into very familiar brown eyes. Now more than ever he was reminded of Evangeline.. "What's on your mind?" John had been waiting for this moment. He'd already gotten an earful from Cris, Mike, and his mother. He hoped that Layla would be the last.
"Isn't that obvious, John? You and Eva? Tell me you are not in love with her." Layla was surprised that they'd ended up together at all. Eva ruined his life. She was also nothing like Evangeline. Layla had to question if John's sexual desires were clouding what she would have thought was good judgement.
"That's a complicated question." John had expected to hear that question from Michael. His brother never asked, instead focusing on John's wellbeing.
"That figures. You couldn't tell Evangeline you loved her, but of course you've got some super complicated thing going on with her evil twin. She needs to work on herself, and you definitely need to work on yourself. This is a match made in hell and you know it!" Layla was annoyed by the blasé look on his face. "Is this all just a joke to you?"
"No, it isn't." John held on to the calm that he really wasn't feeling. "Whatever is going on between you sister and I is just that. Between us. Got nothing to do with you, Layla." John had never been one to confide in others about his intimate relationships. He wasn't about to start now.
"That woman is not my sister!" Layla shouted in frustration. "This change of heart that she's got everyone believing is just a damn good act. She's not Evangeline and she never will be. The worst part is that she is holding my real sister hostage inside of her, and there's nothing we can do to help her. She has been fighting us every step of the way."
John could hear her frustrations. He'd been exactly where Layla had been, too. Only for him, it only took a short while to realize what was going on. He'd gotten Eva to trust him, and things were better for everyone. "She is your sister. Same as she's always been. You keep treating her like she's some completely different person, but have you really tried to get to know her?"
"Don't you dare lecture me! You of all people have no room to talk. I was there with her during her initial recovery. I did everything I could to help her regain her memories. Then she turns on me like a snake." Layla strained to keep her voice down. If Eva heard yelling and found them arguing, it would only make things harder on her mother.
"I can't change the past, Layla." John shifted to a softer approach. "She is still Evangeline. This is just her unfiltered. Before she had all those obligations and appearances to keep up. She was always restrained, because she didn't want to come off as some hysterical or dramatic black woman." John hated phrasing it that way, but it was the absolute truth. She had to be cautious of every little stereotype and actively act and react in way that John thought was just unnatural. Evangeline was a black female professional in a white male dominated world. She was painfully aware of how overreacting even one time could be damning. "One step out of line and she had so much to lose. Eva's already lost everything. Why would she hold back now when there's nothing on the line?"
"Funny how all of a sudden you're an expert on Evangeline. She broke up with you because you didn't have a clue on who she was or what she really needed." Layla lashed out with the most hurtful thing she could think of. She was offended that John would even hint that she didn't understand Evangeline's plight. She was a black woman that lived in the same world as her sister. She just didn't have the status to change people's assumptions like Evangeline did.
"Funny how your sister is more like you than ever and you can't even see it. Funny how you don't understand that's why you two are like oil and water." John saw a smart retort on the edge of her consciousness that slipped away as his words sank in. "You always got along so well with Evangeline because she was doing what was expected of her. Being the kind, thoughtful older sister. The one who bailed you out of trouble time and time again, even when it was an inconvenience to her. She set the example and shouldered all of family's expectations and that took some of the pressure off of you. She did it all without complaint, because she was never given the option of being the younger sibling who needed someone to look after her." John was actually speaking from experience. Unlike Evangeline, John had sacrificed everything for his brother's success. Evangeline sacrificed herself so that her sister could live her life as she wanted.
"That's not true." John's words resonated with the truth inside of her.
"It is and you know it. Evangeline had so many reasons to forgive and forget whatever problems were between you. Eva doesn't have that. She doesn't have memories of the sister she loved and always wanted to protect. She has memories of you with her ex who was supposedly very much in love with her before her accident. She has memories of you wanting her to be someone that she doesn't know how to be. You push and she pushes back, harder. You know Evangeline was never one to be outdone. Eva is the same." John saw that Layla was starting to get upset. That had not been his intent. If anything, he wanted to find a way to help Eva get closer to her family. They had always been so important to Evangeline in the past, so he didn't want Eva's frustrations to push them away. "Maybe you're not used to it, but this time you have to be the bigger person. Kill her with kindness."
Layla laughed. "I'd definitely like to kill Eva." She hugged herself for comfort. As she thought about John's words, she knew he was right about everything. It was just going to be very hard to fight against her own combative nature. "Look, I'm sorry about what I said before."
"No need to apologize." John smiled at the thought that he'd maybe made a difference. Layla was very much like Eva, so he knew exactly how far he could push. John looked over at her again and saw the hesitant look on her face. This was a new look for the woman that he'd only every seen as confident or determined. "What is it?"
Layla turned so her back was leaning against the railing. The lights inside were reminding her that it was warm inside. She had a thought to let it go, but that just wasn't in her nature. Keeping this information to herself for as long as she had was a miracle in and of itself. "So, a few months back I ran into one of Evangeline's old nurses. She didn't know that Evangeline had woken from her coma, so I filled her in on the happy bits."
John just nodded. He wasn't sure why revealing this information was giving her pause. "I'm sure they love to hear the stories with happy endings."
"Yeah." Layla looked up at him expectantly, but he didn't say a word. He returned her expectant stare with one of his own. "She was glad that hear that Evangeline woke up, but she was really curious about something else."
John didn't give any hint that he knew what she was talking about. "Oh, you're going to have to give me more than that."
Layla rolled her eyes. "She wanted to know if Evangeline was happily married, with kids no less, to that handsome blue-eyed gentleman that," Layla stopped suddenly at John's reaction.
John grabbed her arm and pulled her slightly closer to him. He took care not to hold her in such a way that she couldn't get away from him if she wanted to. When he was sure he had her attention, he leaned in so that he was sure that only she could hear him. "Not another word."
"John, what," she was still speaking in a normal voice until he hushed her. She pulled away from him easily. "Okay, so what is your problem?"
"Layla, I don't think you should say any more about that to anyone every again." John's voice was low and direct. He stared into her eyes to convey is seriousness.
"Why? Don't you think," Layla stopped again because he interrupted.
"Enough! You don't know what you're talking about. You don't have all the facts, and you can't even begin to understand the consequences. Leave this alone." John's tone was unwavering. There was too much on the line to act like this was just some juicy secret.
"I think Evangeline," Layla tried to speak quickly, but John interrupted again.
"This is more than just about what you think. Layla, I'm warning you. Drop this before you get hurt." John hoped that she perceived his words as more than just a threat.
"Okay, fine. Have it your way." Layla resigned herself to keeping the information to herself. She still couldn't understand why she'd upset John so much. It made her want to dig a little deeper, but her instincts were telling her to be afraid. She decided it was time to head back inside. "Thanks for the advice, John. I'll try a little harder with Eva." She patted his arm to reassure him. "I'm going to head back in."
"I'll catch up." John smiled to dismiss her. He watched her walk away and with every step he felt his chest tighten. Layla, like Michael, had never been good at keeping secrets. John thought of her letting even a hint slip and then everything exploding. The thought made him sick to his stomach. For now, he would hope for the best.
As the night grew later, they decided to attend an early Christmas church service. They went to a Catholic mass since all of the McBains and Cristian were catholic. When the service was over, John went home alone despite the prodding insistence that he spend the night in the house that his family rented. Eva sent him off with a hug and a longing kiss goodbye. She wasn't expecting to see him again until after their families returned home. Luckily that was just two days away.
The idea of their separation being brief was good in theory, but Eva found herself lying in bed and thinking about John. He really cared about her. Even when it wasn't in his best interest, he defended her family and others. He recognized her and wouldn't let her push him away. She was a better person largely because of her own efforts, but he was there to give her strength and encouragement when things got tough. He was the perfect complement to her life. In her heart she knew what that meant.
She rolled over in bed and tried to put the thoughts of him out of her mind. They would be together soon enough. "Why not now?" She questioned herself out loud. Her family was probably sleeping, so it wasn't as if they'd miss her.
That was all she needed to make her decision. She hurried out of bed and decided against changing out of her Christmas pajamas. All she needed was her coat, phone, purse, keys, boots, and a present from under the tree. Less than five minutes later, she was on the road and driving safely to the one she really wanted to be with.
John rolled over in bed for the hundredth time. The glowing red display of the clock showed him the time. It was barely eleven o'clock. Normally, he wasn't in bed until well after midnight. Tonight especially, he was expecting to be keeping much later hours. If all had gone well, he'd be curled up somewhere with Eva laughing and carrying on about some random nonsense.
Just thinking about her started it all over again. After getting home from church, he took the longest, coldest shower that he could stand. The bitter cold shocked him awake, so he had a couple of drinks to help him along to sleep. Now he was wide awake and just as horny as he was before. He tried to convince himself that he was better than a teenaged boy, but his body was saying otherwise. At this point, he'd have to handle things himself if he wanted to get any sleep.
He looked over at the nightstand as his phone made a sound and the screen became illuminated. The message from Eva put a wide smile on his face. 'I can't sleep. Want some company?' He unplugged the phone and rolled over to his back as he typed out his response. 'Me neither. Want me to come to you?' Being at her place was less than ideal. That meant that sex was definitely off the table, but it was better than her driving alone in the middle of the night.
The sharp knock on the door pulled him from his thoughts. If this was Michael stopping in for a late-night visit, he would kill him and then send him on his way. He shuffled over to the door and looked through the peephole. He fumbled with the lock and then snatched the door open quickly. "Are you nuts?"
"Yes, and I'm freezing." Gloves and a hat were the two important things that Eva had forgotten in her haste. She stepped inside and sighed at the feeling of warm air on her face.
Despite his worry, John smiled. "Come here. Let me warm you up." John pulled off her jacket and then directed her to the bed.
Eva awkwardly held on to her crossbody purse. John was so focused on getting her settled on the bed to pull her boots off that he didn't notice. "Hey," she noticed the outfit he was wearing and smiled, "we're twinsies!" He was wearing the male version of the pajamas that she was wearing. When they disappeared from her house after the dinner, she figured they would never be seen again.
John blushed. "I didn't actually think I'd be seeing anyone tonight." When her boots were off, he sat down on the bed beside her. "I figured you were wearing yours, so I wore mine too. I just wanted to feel close to you."
Now it was Eva's turn to blush. Her dark skin hid the blush, but not the smile. "I missed you."
"I missed you too." They both leaned in at the same time and shared a kiss. "Can you stay the night?" John always wanted to know the limits of the situation.
Eva bit her bottom lip regrettably. She wouldn't be missed tonight. If she wasn't there in the morning, they would surely send out a search party. "With the baby in the house, I think everyone will be up early. I can stay for a while though."
He nodded that he understood. The excitement of having her here was almost too much. He was invigorated and exhausted. Sleeping without her was getting harder and harder every night they spent apart. "Well, since you're here, how about we start our Christmas celebration a little early?"
Eva bit back her own excitement. "What did you have in mind?"
John's smile warmed her all over. "I'll be right back." He squeezed her thigh and rose from the bed. The timing wasn't what he planned, but his plans had never gone smoothly. He reached the closet that had been off limits to her once she found out it was where he kept his case files. That made it the perfect place to hide her Christmas gift. It was a good thing that he hadn't hidden it under her tree like he'd planned.
He fished around for a moment retrieving her gifts. He hid one box in his pocket but kept the other in plain sight. Then he rejoined her on the bed. He took her hands is his and kissed her. Just as much as it was meant to comfort her, it was meant to calm him down. "Evangeline Williamson. From the moment I first laid eyes on you, I was intrigued by you. You exuded confidence and strength. Your beauty entranced me. I had already fallen for you way before we started dating. What I felt for you scared the hell out of me when we were dating. The first time around I still had a lot of growing up to do, so I screwed us up."
Eva pulled her hand out of his and touched his face tenderly. "That's in the past, John. You don't have to keep beating yourself up over that."
"I just want you to know that I understand why things went wrong before. All these years I've wanted to be with you, but I was still the same guy. Maybe not in the nicest way, but you turned my world upside down." He saw the look of regret on her face and clarified. "Without that, I still would have been the same miserable guy. Waiting…waiting for my time to die.
His grim words were insight that she hadn't imagined. This must have been pretty bad for him to feel that way. "I'm so sorry that I hurt you, John."
He shook his head. "Not any worse than I've done to myself. I fought against being happy because I was still mourning Caitlyn. I didn't want to move on. I didn't want to forget her…" This wasn't how he wanted to say things. This wasn't about Caitlyn or the past. The words were still hard for him. If this was going to work, he was going to have to be a little less romantic and more direct. "Evangeline, I love you."
Eva's eyes grew wide as she audibly gasped. This was the man that she was told couldn't say those words, at least not to Evangeline. Love or lack there of was the deciding factor on their relationship. He'd told her that himself. Now, he was saying the words…and he was saying them to her. "John," she started.
"I loved you before too." John wouldn't deny the past. It was time for the truth to be out there. "I just didn't want to admit it. I did still try to show you in so many ways that you were special to me. It just wasn't enough, and I'm sorry for that."
Eva pulled him into a hug as she cried. "John, I love you too. I never stopped." There was no longer a disconnect in her heart. All of her loved all of him.
John hugged her back and let go of his won tears. For John, it was like floating and falling at the same time. The idea of being in love was scary and exciting. The prospect of finding happiness again overrode his fears. Fear had ruled him for far too long. He'd learned from his mistakes and he wouldn't make them again.
"I guess now is a really good time for me to give you your presents." John pulled away from her and laid the long slender box in her lap. "When I gave these to you before, it was my way of saying 'I love you.'"
Eva carefully opened the box. Inside was a simple, yet elegant, string of pearls. They were beautiful. "Your mother's pearls. I remember the first time you gave them to me. It was my birthday."
John blinked several times as the words sunk in. "What did you just say?" He tried to keep his voice calm.
"I said they're beautiful. Did you pick these out yourself?" She handed him the box as she turned from him. She lifted her hair up and out of the way so that he could put the pearls on her.
John frowned. That wasn't what she'd just said. "They were my mother's. My father gave them to her." He questioned his own memory from her reaction.
She looked over at her shoulder expectantly. His hesitance curbed her enthusiasm. "Then these must mean a lot to you. You should give them to someone that you are really in love with. I'm okay if that's not me just yet."
The eerily familiar words further confused him. "I'm in love with you." He snapped out of his confused trance. "I want you to wear these as a symbol of my love." He placed the pearls around her neck before clasping them in the back. Then he pulled her into sensual kiss.
Eva moaned as he pulled her to his chest. If she didn't stop him now, they were going to get completely carried away. She put her hands on his chest and pushed him away gently. "These really are beautiful, John."
"Like you." He leaned in to kiss her again, but she deflected him and kissed him on the cheek.
"As beautiful as these are, it's kind of cheating to give me a gift that you gave me before, even if I don't remember." She slapped his chest playfully.
He sarcastically rolled his eyes. "You really have embraced that diva moniker, huh?" He fished around in his pocket. "Somehow, I knew you'd say that, so I was prepared." He placed the small ring-shaped box in her hand. Merry Christmas, Evangeline."
He'd called her by her given name again. Some part of her soul resonated with happiness whenever he did. She was still torn over using the name herself, but he was making the idea a lot easier to accept. "This had better be a good one, McBain." She opened the box to reveal a set of matching pearl earrings. "Aww, John," she was putty in his hands again.
"I picked these out myself. Guy that sold the necklace to my dad passed away, but his grandson was still running the business. This is as close as I can get to a true matching set." John smiled as she marveled at the earrings. The thought of their son passing them on to his future wife crept into his mind. That thought scared him. "You want me to help you put them on?" John pushed the idea of having children out of his mind, but the idea of practicing how to make them was front and center.
"Give me just a moment, okay?" Eva wiped at her face as she looked down into the box. "I'll be right back."
John watched as she excused herself to the bathroom. It was cute that she was still nervous about being too emotional. That was yet another subtle Evangeline characteristic. Her words resonated in the back of his mind, 'I remember." That was exactly what she said. He hadn't imagined it. Now was not the time to press the issues. He just stored that information for later.
Instead of focusing on her minor success he set himself to another task. With her sudden exit, he decided to set the mood for things he hoped were in store for later. He lit the candles that he'd strategically placed a few days ago and dimmed the lights. The champagne wasn't on ice, so he chose a nice white wine that was already chilled instead.
When Eva stepped out of the bathroom, his back was turned to her. She was incredibly nervous and considered chickening out. She reached down deep inside of her and pulled out some of Evangeline's courage. Slowly and quietly, she walked over to him. "Do you think it's too much?"
John turned with a smile to look at her. The sight before him took his breath way. Eva had changed out of her cutesy pajamas into a red silky thigh length chemise. She was now wearing the pearls, earrings, and a headband with a large red bow off to the side. He sat down hard just barely catching the side of the bed. "No..no."
His reaction gave her and extra confidence boost. She walked over to him and beside him. "Merry Christmas, John."
It took all of his willpower not to pounce on her immediately. He took measured breaths to calm himself down. "How long have you been planning this?" He thumbed at the hem of her gown.
The answer was too embarrassing to divulge. "Long enough. I just knew it was time to give us both something we wanted." Her words were confident, but her knees were jelly. She wondered if he could see through her façade.
"It was a very good choice." John pulled her in slowly for a kiss as his hand slipped under her gown.
"I only ask that we take it slowly." She spoke in between kisses. His hand traveled further up her thigh and her confidence was shattered. "It's my first time."
John laughed against her throat as continued to kiss her. He felt her body go rigid and stopped. When he looked her in the eyes, he saw that she wasn't making a joke. Suddenly, a lot of things made sense. "I'll be gentle."
"Wait, wait," Eva pulled away and went to the drawer at his bedside table. She pulled out the box that she stashed there a couple of days ago and handed it to him. "Safe sex is the best sex!" She echoed the sentiment that they preached to the students.
They had been separated for years. He didn't want anything coming in between them now, especially a thin piece of latex. "Could we make a baby?"
"Wha?" Eva stuttered over her words. She struggled with his words. Then it finally clicked that he wasn't asking for permission. He wanted to know if she was using a backup birth control method. "No."
"Good," he kissed her again and took her breath away. "I don't think we'll need these." It was the least sexy thing to talk about, so he hoped that she understood what he meant. He waited until she nodded in agreement. "Can I hear you say it?" John was back to the kisses that made it hard for her to think clearly. "Do you want me to make love to you?" He gave her the hint that she needed.
Her whole body was on fire. Soft sensual touches left her in a tizzy. He stopped his kisses just long enough to whisper his question in her ear again. This time he pulled the response from her. "Yes, John, please make love to me," her voice came out in a breathless whisper.
The same beautiful smile that he wore when she said those words was similar to the smile he was wearing now. It took them both a few minutes to catch their breath as they came down from cloud nine. Now John was rolled over on his side with a satisfied smile on his face as he played in her hair.
She knew he could read the look on her face. She was amazed and in ecstasy. He was gentle, patient, and methodical as he made love to her. Somehow he knew how to pace himself perfectly so that he didn't overwhelm her. Their first shared climax was magical. John was a little premature, but she didn't notice.
Afterward, he held her in his arms, kissing and massaging her gently. She was surprised that he was able to recover so quickly. The second time he was a little more demanding. He drove her to back to back climaxes before finishing himself.
"John, you are amazing." She lazily rolled over to her side as well. For months, she was plagued with the sweetest and most sensual dreams. The memory of her dream lover had not been revealed to her, but she knew now, and without a doubt, John was the man that she was dreaming of all along.
"We are amazing." John was totally enamored with her. He hated that their romantic tryst would be cut short by her early departure. It wasn't what he wanted to focus on, but he was already trying to figure out how many times he could have her before she left without completely exhausting her.
"I feel a little silly for being so uptight these past couple of years. I've been missing out on a really good time." She teased playfully to feel better about her own inexperience. There was probably a lot she didn't know about sex, but she was eager to learn with him.
John rolled her onto her back and hovered over her. "I can assure you that you have not missed out on anything." He kissed her deeply. "No other man can make you feel as good as I can. I'm in your blood now. You will always belong to me."
His words filled her with desire. The reserved quiet persona that he showed to the public was a contrast to the confident man before her. Revealing his alternate self was just another way for him to help her get to know him. She pulled him down for a kiss and hoped that he would show her again how much he loved her.
At this point, John had to note the biggest difference he knew of between Eva and Evangeline. Evangeline had been like a sex goddess. She knew what she wanted and was very vocal about it. Together, Evangeline and John were absolutely electric. It was the sound of her calling is name out over and over as she clawed at his back that originally made him hers. Eva was the complete opposite, inexperience, quiet and reserved. John was in charge the whole time and it was a new and thrilling experience. He enjoyed being with Eva, but it would be a slight adjustment from what he was used to with Evangeline.
He made love to her again before carrying her to the shower. It was after midnight now and he could tell she was exhausted. He wanted to make sure she got some rest before she had to make the long drive back home. They both changed back into their Christmas pajamas and curled up in bed together.
Just when he thought she was settled, she turned to lay on his chest. "Thank you for loving me, John and being the man of my dreams." She didn't need him to understand exactly what she meant.
"Thank you for loving me, Evangeline and showing me how to love again." He kissed her one final time goodnight, and she was asleep in minutes. John sighed that today was finally coming to an end. Chaos altered their plans, but, together, they'd handled it well. It was just a sign of how strong their relationship. He knew they could handle anything the world threw at them. That happy thought and the sound of Eva's rhythmic breathing lulled John to sleep.