Hi guys, super short chapter and I know I've reneged on my promise of a weekly update but I'm undergoing a writer's block at the moment. This piece has been on my phone notes for weeks cause I didn't know how to follow through so I thought I'd share it anyway and pray for some inspo to hit. Thanks so much for the wonderful reviews and comments. You guys really make my day!

Jacob POV

"I think we need some time apart. I don't think this is good for us. You deserve better. Someone better. Not just a random hookup. And I don't think I can handle what's going to happen in the future. I'm not ready. Shit, now I have to go cry somewhere. I'm gonna go. I'll see you at the wedding."

It felt like the millionth time I had listened to it and I still couldn't understand.

What. The. Fuck.

If only I had been awake. I would have told her that she's wrong. Then again, I don't want her to be with me cause of wolf voodoo. It's already super weird that she's able to back away from me like that. I mean yeah, Em and Sam have fights but it's not like she's ever asked some other dude to come over for dinner.

Should I call her?

Did it sound like she wanted you to call her Romeo? Have you lost your hearing or is it brain function? She said she needs you to back the hell up.

Stupid. Fucking. Walls.

"It's my fault. I can't even let down my guard. If I did, maybe she'll feel the same way. I can't even ask Seth. That kid's a frikin' narc. He'll go whining to Bells like 5 seconds later. Thank Pete that my command is still holding or he'd be gushing to her like he was at a nail salon.

"Oh my Gawd Bella, Jake loves you! You guys should have babies and kith... like a lot". I could imagine his big dopey eyes, almost rabid with the possibility of undermining my control.

Control.

It's the only thing that's been keeping me away from her. And strangely I like it. Not the being away part, I miss her like fucking crazy, more like the control part. There's not much in my life I could control. Even this, as awesome as it gets was all cause those glitter bath bombs showed up. I could have had a normal life. Fell in love with Bella, normally; not have her guilted into it. Even this imprint shit isn't working like it should...

I mean what does she see in me anyway. Is it just the sex for her? I mean, I've been told that I'm good...like really good. Had a few that told me to never stop... you know what I mean. But with her it's different. Every time we were lying next to each other or she was moaning in my ear I had this crazy impulse to tell that I love her...like tell her that big dumb Jake, Alpha of all was fucking crazy in love with her... I want to tell her that being in the same room as her is so simple and so complicated at the same time. It's like breathing. Feels super easy to do but there's so much going on behind it that it's a mind fuck.

Wow. Look at you go Shakespeare. Jakespeare.

Urgh...

I love you.

Why is this so damn hard?

I feel it so she should feel it too. Right? That's not what her message said though, and this stupid imprint shit means that I have to give her what she wants. Even if it's not what I want. She wants me to back off and now I can't even pick up the phone and explain that she isn't just some hookup to me. That I see forever with her... but only if she sees forever with me too.

URGH

I groaned out loud and punched the sofa in frustration. Letting this imprint thing happen means giving up control and I don't think I'm ready for that to happen. If she wants to be away from me, fine. We'll see who makes it to the wedding without falling apart.

Love and hugs! IllegalWL