"She's too plain to be an idol!"
"Her?! Why her?! She's so boring!"
Thoughts like that would always flood Kanami's mind. She's not pretty, she's barely even cute. If she was less attractive, she'd at least be memorable. It's no wonder she needed to be doctored up so much during performances. Her bright colors and contacts make her look like one of a kind. But without that, she's no different from your average young japanese woman. She's tried to stand out more. As a teen she'd wear a shirt with a jacket around her waist, and green sweatpants. She cringed at the thought. She wondered why she thought that was acceptable. It wasn't particularly ugly or anything, but it wasn't helping her case either. Nowadays she wears blue short shorts, a red flannel shirt, and boots.
She looked to her right, Haru was next to her. They were on a bus making their way to the park. She wore a sun hat, a pink dress, and a white short jacket. She started feeling anxious. She was standing right next to such a pretty young woman. She wasn't "normal" at all. She was rich for one thing. Okumura foods was a company known all around the world. She didn't need to wear costumes when she went out to events. She just could show up as she is, and everyone would find her beautiful. A small piece of envy made its way into her heart. She quickly brushed it away. She knew it wasn't okay. She knew Haru was not to blame. And yet, emotions weren't always kind enough to take things like that into consideration.
Haru on the other hand looked distracted. She was blissfully unaware of the storm in Kanami's mind, her hands sitting in her lap. Many were talking, the engine was roaring, but the children were making the most noise. She found it more endearing than annoying however. It reminded her of better days. She was suddenly overcome with nostalgia. She eventually noticed something odd in the corner of her eye. She was being stared at. She turned her head, and Kanami quickly looked forward again. Haru smiled a bit. Kanami wasn't very sneaky. Though she was a bit confused as to why she was burning a hole into her cheek.
"What's wrong?" Haru asked, getting straight to the point.
Kanami internally swore. She had been caught red-handed. She couldn't reveal the evil in her heart. She wasn't sure how she'd react, but she didn't see it being good. Plus they were in public, she wasn't sure if she should bare everything now. Kanami forced a smile, something she was rather used to from her time as an idol. "Nothing's wrong!" She exclaimed as she put on her usual genki voice.
Haru clearly wasn't convinced. But she didn't want to push the envelope either. She couldn't and shouldn't force her to talk about something she wasn't comfortable with. "Tell me if you want. No pressure." She patted Kanami's hand.
Kanami looked downward, flustered at the physical contact. She expected Haru to move her hand in a few seconds, but she never did. She sat her hand on hers and smiled at the former idol. She felt even more guilty for her toxic emotions. Haru clearly cared a lot for her. And the feeling was mutual of course. "Um… your hand?" Her heart was racing from the physical contact.
Haru frowned a bit, concerned that she was too forward. The last thing she wanted to do was make her friend uncomfortable. She lifted it up in response. "Sorry, I guess I wasn't thinking." Haru's heart dropped, and guilt entered her mind. She didn't want to push Kanami away.
Now Kanami had made things awkward. She felt so stupid, that she couldn't do anything right. Kanami took a deep breath, and took a gamble. She grabbed Haru's hand, and held it gently.
Haru's eyes increased in size as a response. She felt like a bit of a hypocrite. She was just flirting, but once the tables had been turned she was silent. She didn't hate this feeling though. She realized she was being a bit too presumptuous, thinking this was flirting. She was probably just apologizing in her own way. She smiled at her, and Kanami gave a more genuine one back. "You know you can talk to me right?" Haru said trying to bring things back to the topic at hand.
Kanami nodded. "I know." She wasn't sure if she could just not tell her now. Though she'd keep the more unsavory parts to herself. "I'm… feeling self conscious."
Haru tilted her head in confusion. "What about?"
"You're…" Kanami scratched her head with her other hand. "You're just so pretty. And I'm so plain that… I feel weird sitting next to you. Like what will people looking at us think? 'Oh there's Okumura-san and her boring friend.'"
Haru was so taken aback by Kanami's self deprecation, she almost didn't notice the compliment. She looked a bit flustered, but had to stick to the topic at hand. She could follow up on the comment later. "What makes you think you're plain?"
Kanami was a bit surprised by her reaction. She's not really used to people disagreeing with her when she calls herself plain. She just accepted it as a fact of life. "Well… look at me." She said as if it was the most obvious thing in the world.
Haru did as told, and could not comprehend where she was coming from. "I look at you all the time." Haru immediately realized how odd that sounded. "N-not like that! You know what I mean! What's so plain about you?"
Kanami wasn't sure how to explain it. "I just am. People have always told me those things."
Haru tightened her grip on Kanami. Partially out of irritation that someone would tell her that, partially a desire to give reassurance. "I don't see it. I don't even understand how anyone could. You have beautiful long hair. Your glasses look really cute. Your sense of style is nice. I just… I don't understand what you could possibly be seeing."
Kanami let go of Haru's hand and brought it as well as her other hand to her mouth. She was stunned into silence. She's been called nice things all the time, but mostly in her idol persona. For someone to say that about her actual appearance was unbelievable. "I… you… you really think so?"
Haru scootched a bit close to her. "Of course. I'd never lie about that." Haru looked directly into Kanami's eyes. Kanami's entire face started turning red. She turned away covering her face. She didn't want to be rude, but she couldn't agree either. "...Thank you. I hope I can see what you see one day…"
Haru giggled at her reaction. "I'm sure you will." Haru grabbed both of her hands. "You're a very lovely young woman. Anyone who can't see that is the one to blame. Not you." Haru embraced Kanami in a gentle hug. Kanami reciprocated happily. Once they let go, Haru laid her head on Kanami's shoulder. "So… you think I'm pretty?" She grinned.
Kanami felt a bit put on the spot, but she couldn't back down. "Y-yes. Very."
Haru smiled and shut her eyes. She felt incredibly comfortable around her companion to the point that she could fall asleep. They'd be arriving at the park soon, but for now, they'd just enjoy each other's company.