quarantined
"This is crazy and if this test is positive? I'm going to kill you." Beckett huffed, nudging his shoulder with her foot.
Castle couldn't help but smile at her, lifting a hand to touch the top of her foot while it rested against him. She'd hopped up onto the bathroom counter after washing her hands, scooting back to sit against the wall as he sat on the closed toilet seat beside her. "Kill me? And leave yourself outnumbered?"
She shook her head, looking down at the cell phone she held in both hands. The timer was counting down incredibly slowly, nearly making her hands shake with suspense. "It's probably nothing."
"You haven't had your period in two months."
"I can't believe you noticed before me, Castle. What do you do? Mark in on the calendar?"
"No, but I do the grocery shopping which means I buy your tampons every month."
Kate rolled her eyes, tipping her head back to look at the ceiling. "I can't be pregnant again. I'm going to be 41 this year."
"You don't want more kids?" He asked her, doing his best to keep his tone neutral.
She looked at him. "It's not that. You know that's not it."
"I know." He admitted, his thumb moving soothingly over the top of her foot. Her pregnancy with Lily had been wrought with fear and pain as both of them were still recovering from gunshot wounds. "But you're healthier now, stronger physically."
"And older." Kate added. "Busier."
"You're always going to be busy, honey."
Kate sighed again, letting her eyes slip closed. Despite the fears, the many, many concerns— she couldn't help the small thrill that the idea sent through her. She couldn't ignore the way her heart responded to such a possibility. Lily was growing up so fast. Right before her eyes their little baby had transformed into a toddler, her own little person who would be heading off to school and then to college and then…
"You're thinking too hard." Castle told her, standing to press a kiss against her temple. "If you really don't want another baby, we don't have to have one."
She opened her eyes, reaching out to touch the front of his shirt and then tangle her fingers in the material to pull him closer. "Lily would be an amazing big sister."
Castle smiled. "She would be."
Kate let out a breath, looking down at the phone in her hands. It was quickly nearing zero.
"You're an incredible mom, you know." He told her, his voice taking on that serious, earnest tone he reserved for his family. "You're the best mom Lily could ever ask for and if we have another baby, you're going to be perfect for the baby too."
She met his eyes again before leaning in to press her lips against his. "I—"
The sound of the timer cut her off, both of them looking down at the phone and then to the upside down pregnancy tests resting beside her on the counter.
"Do you want to…?" He asked.
Kate shook her head. "I'm too nervous. You look."
Castle reached for the test, just briefly thinking back to the first time they did this. They'd learned of Lily during a routine doctor's appointment after their shooting but less than a year later they'd had a scare. He'd touched the test only for her to remind him that she'd peed on that, Castle. He, in a silly turn of events, had rolled his eyes at her.
He took a deep breath, counting to three before using both hands to flip the tests.
Positive.
Positive.
"Oh my god."
Castle looked at his wife, the surprise written on her face as she leaned forward to see the tests in his hands. "You're pregnant."
"Oh my god." She repeated. "How did we even…"
"Quarantine in March." He said, mentally kicking himself for laughing at all of those "Quarantine Baby" memes on Facebook. "The days blended together and…"
"And I forgot to take my birth control." She finished for him. "Oh god, Castle. This is my fault."
"You're pregnant again." Castle said again, looking from her to the tests.
Her hands fell to her stomach without even thinking. Maybe it would be different this time. She wouldn't have to spend every waking moment in fear of losing the baby she'd come to love so suddenly. "I'm pregnant again…"
Before either could get another word in, the sound of little feet against the floor of their bedroom grabbed their attention. Castle quickly hid the tests behind him.
Kate rolled her eyes. "She doesn't even know what those are."
Lily came running into the bathroom sleepy-eyed and pajama clad. When she spotted them, she stopped for a second, brushing her messy, dark hair from her eyes.
"Hey, bud." Kate said. "What are you doing up?"
"Wanted a hug." Lily mumbled one of her signature bedtime-avoiding phrases. She'd no doubt spent a good amount of time playing around in her room before deciding to find out what her parents were up to.
Castle stood, reaching out to lift the almost three year old into his arms. His knees protested loudly when he did so, reminding him once again just how old he was getting. "I seem to remember giving you hugs when I put you to bed."
Lily laid her sleepy head against her father's shoulder. "More."
He rubbed his hand up and down her back. "I'll put her back to bed."
"I'll do it." Kate climbed off of the counter and held out her arms. Lily went willingly, her legs wrapping securely around her mother's waist before she looped her arms around her neck. Her tiny fingers played with Kate's hair as she cuddled closer. "You can have as many hugs as you want from here until we get to your bed, okay?"
Lily giggled softly, tightening her arms and legs around Kate.
"Tell Daddy goodnight."
"Night, Daddy."
"Goodnight." He told her, leaning in to press a kiss to her head and then to Kate's.
Kate made her way through the loft and up the stairs. She passed through the baby gate Lily had managed to unlock and into the girl's bedroom, smiling to herself at the sight of the toys scattered about. Lily was notorious for having a messy bedroom no matter how often Rick cleaned it.
She stepped over the stuffed animals and dolls strewn about before stopping at Lily's bed. "One last squeeze, lovebug." She murmured against her hair.
Lily squeezed tightly as her mother did the same. Kate carefully laid the girl down on her new big girl bed, bringing the soft blankets up to her chin. "No more adventures tonight, okay? You need your sleep."
"Okay, mama." Lily said.
Kate gave her another goodnight kiss and stood back up. "I love you."
She made her way out of the room and back down the stairs, a warm feeling spreading throughout her body.
She was pregnant again.