A little shorter than the last update, but I'll have a mini chapter for you all very soon. Enjoy! x
"How sure are you?" Peter asked her, after a long silence.
"What?" She asked in reply, only half listening to what her partner was saying, her mind on other things.
"I mean, they aren't always accurate are they?" He questioned, wondering whether they could really be in their current situation.
Carla proceeded to walk over to the kitchen bin, calling Peter to join her. She opened the lid and he peeked inside to see all the other tests that she had taken throughout the day.
"Right." He mumbled, seeing the amount of tests.
He was a little shocked. Up until then, he had been wondering about the plausibility of the two of them actually getting pregnant.
"All positive." She confirmed, as he sighed, raking a hand nervously through his hair.
"I know, I wanted it be wrong too." She told him frankly, before sitting back down. She rest her elbows on the table, placing her head in her hands.
"I didn't mean that." He reassured her, coming to stand next to where she was sitting.
"I did!" Carla snapped, looking up to him. "Peter, this is a mess!" She exclaimed. Her eyes slowly filled with tears.
"What do you want to do?" He asked her sensibly, not wanting to say anything out of place.
"I don't know." She muttered. Carla took a deep breath in an attempt to calm herself down.
"I need to call Tim." He announced, getting his phone out of his pocket.
"I hope you aren't thinking of telling anyone." She warned him accusingly.
"Of course not!" He exclaimed, before he looked back at Carla. "I need to let him know I'm not going to be back at work." He explained softly, reminding himself that she would be just as shocked as he was.
"No, you should go." She told him, wiping a tear from under her eye.
"I'm not going to leave you like this." He protested.
"I'll be fine." She lied, as Peter saw right through her. She was fragile and she needed his support, now more than ever.
"Love, you're not fine." He spoke softly. "I want to be there for you." He added, smiling weakly.
"Peter, we can't do this." She began. Peter back down opposite his partner, reaching over and taking a hold of her hand, running his thumb over the top of her wrist. "Not now - not ever." She confirmed. "I mean, it's not like my family are going to jump for joy and offer to babysit."
"Don't think about them." Peter insisted. He knew that if she just thought about the Connors when talking about the pregnancy, she would close off her own feelings.
"We're too old, we can't raise a baby." She announced, finally.
"We have options." He reassured her, his voice soft and
"I'm calling Tim, we need to talk about this." He added, before heading out of the room and standing in the hallway to call his boss.
"Hi mate, I'm sorry but I think I'm going to be longer than a few more minutes." Peter told him.
"Why, what's up?" Tim asked, slightly worried. Judging by the tone of his employees voice, whatever was happening appeared to be quite serious. He also knew Peter well enough to know that he wouldn't skip work for the sake of it.
"Family emergency." Peter reasoned. Of course, he didn't want to reveal anything to Tim. He wasn't a massively untrustworthy person, but if Sally found out, it would be a nightmare.
"Is everything OK?" Tim checked, still concerned.
"It will be." Peter hoped, looking round the door frame to see Carla still sat at the table. Seeing her so upset was breaking his heart.
"I can cover for you for an hour?" He offered.
"Thank you so much, you're a lifesaver." Peter replied. "I'll see you in a bit." He added, ending the call.
Peter took a large deep breath. He hadn't realized how much this had shaken him, but when he thought about it, he was terrified. How could he have let this happen? How could be put Carla in such a difficult situation? His feelings were intensified, as he reminded himself of the ongoing situation between himself, Carla and the rest of the street. Now was most certainly not the time for this to happen.
The couple had moved over to the sofa. Mainly so that they could be more comfortable, nausea still plagued Carla.
"You know, after losing our baby girl, I would have given anything to have her back or even to have another baby." She told him thoughtfully.
"So what's stopping us?" He asked quite casually.
"Are you saying you want this baby?" She quizzed, looking deep into this eyes, searching for the truth.
"Not if you don't." He declared, gently squeezing her leg in reassurance. Letting her know that he would go along with whatever she decided, but it wasn't that simple.
"Peter, I need to know." She stressed. Carla was afraid that in all this, she wasn't giving him much space to voice his opinion.
"What does it matter?" He shrugged off.
"You do, don't you." She mumbled, sighing. "Do you not remember what it was like last time?" She reminded him, not that he needed reminding. Carla's previous pregnancy had played on his mind since the minute he saw the test on the table.
"Of course I do!" He defended himself, mildly snapping. "Carla, whatever we do, it's your choice." He assured her in a much softer tone.
"But it's not just my choice, is it?" She answered back. "It's not just mine, you need to be happy with the decision too." She reasoned, raking her hand through her hair. She now knew exactly why she didn't tell him straight away last time, and waited until she was sure she knew what she wanted.
"I'll be happy as long as you're happy." He promised.
"You and I both know that it doesn't work like that." She told him.
"I'm not going to push you into anything you don't want to do. It's completely your choice. I don't want you to force you to do anything that you don't want to do." Peter reasoned.
"I don't want to be in this situation." She remarked.
"I know." He frowned. "I'm sorry." He apologized, softly placing his arm around her shoulders and pulling her in slowly.
"I think we're both partly to blame." She sighed.
"How are you feeling?" He asked her softly, having noticed that she looked pale and wondering if that was purely down to shock.
"Sick." She replied, turning her head and mumbling in to his chest. Sitting there with him was a massive comfort, and made her feel less alone. Yet, she couldn't help but feel as if his presence was distracting her from making a decision. Now knowing that there was a part of Peter that wanted to become a father again, it made her choice that much harder.
Of course, she could go with the easy option. No one would probe them for their reasoning, purely and simply because they wouldn't know. But knowing that Peter wanted the baby she was carrying made it that much more complicated. She didn't want to deny him what was likely looking like his last chance at fatherhood, and the only time to get it right. Carla was in two minds herself.
The textbook simplicity of having a termination in her head was ransacked by the thoughts of her and the man she loved finally having a baby and completing them. This perfect idea, shattered with the knowledge that her family would massively disapprove and would probably neglect to be a part of her child's life. Adding that with all of the bad memories that she had stored from the last time she was pregnant: Peter getting drunk, his infidelity and the loss of her child, it was all too much. She needed a break, space to breathe.
"Listen, you go back to work." Carla instructed, sitting up.
"Are you sure?" Peter questioned.
"You need to go back." She reminded him.
"I can call Tim, tell him I won't be back." He offered. Carla shook her head lightly.
"Whatever happens, you're still going to need that job." She reasoned. Peter got up off of the sofa and placed a light kiss on her forehead.
"If you need me, call me." He commanded, with Carla nodding softly.
"I love you." Peter added, checking that he had his phone in his pocket in case he was needed.
"I love you." She smiled weakly, watching as he walked out of the room.
- C S -
The following day, Peter woke up to find his partner already awake. She was sitting in bed, resting her back on the headboard. Carla was staring directly in front of her, obviously deep in thought, with a soft hand unintentionally resting on her abdomen - just above where their baby was growing.
"Morning." He greeted her, with a gruff voice, clearly an after-effect of the sleep he had just endured. "Do you want a coffee, love?" He offered, sitting up and becoming level with her.
"I can't have one." She told him quietly and almost instantaneously, her mind still occupied.
"Why not?" He asked softly.
"Because I can't." She confirmed, before racing to the bathroom. Peter followed her before closing the door, making sure that they weren't disturbing anyone else. They didn't want to risk alerting anyone that didn't know to the current situation.
He held her hair out of the way, and rubbed her back comfortingly as she emptied the remaining contents of her stomach. He wanted to show solidarity and support for his suffering girlfriend. Peter's heart was torn out as he watched Carla being so ill knowing that he was, although unwittingly, to blame. Thankfully, after a couple of minutes, the worst of it was over and she was able to freshen up.
"Is this why you didn't want coffee?" He asked her, as Carla brushed her teeth. She shook her head, finishing the task, and rinsing her toothbrush before putting it back in its place.
"You're not supposed to have too much caffeine when you're pregnant." She briefly explained, as she splashed water on her face. Peter smiled to himself. He knew that if Carla cared that much, she was considering her options.
"You know, you'd make an amazing mother." He encouraged, placing a hand on the small of her back.
"We've been through this, Peter. I need time." She retorted, before walking out of the bathroom.
"I know. I'm sorry." He called after her, although his voice was hushed, before following his partner back to their bedroom. Carla got back into bed; it was still quite early.
"I don't mean to put any pressure on you." He explained, sitting next to her, on his side of the bed.
"Yeah, I know." She replied, smiling softly as she rest her head on his shoulder.
"We'll work this out." He told her, as he began to deftly and delicately play with her hair.
"I think we have to, either way." She mumbled.
"It'll be alright. We'll be alright." He assured her, as she cuddled deeper into him needing closer contact with the man she loved more than anything.
"Promise?" She asked softly, looking up to him.
"I promise." He muttered.
In the days that followed, Carla seemed to remain undecided. Her sickness was getting increasingly worse and other than the couple, Ken remained the only person that knew the secret. All parties were growing concerned that her sickness was so bad, it would cause the reveal of the secret for them, which wouldn't be ideal. But it was getting harder to hide, especially with Carla making a dash to the bathroom periodically.
For Peter, the fact that his partner was putting up with such horrendous symptoms meant that she wanted to keep the baby - she just wouldn't say it aloud yet. But, in among all of the side effects, the couple still hadn't chosen a definitive course of action. The future was far from certain...
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