Cheeky double update for you all today. So, the next update will be with you shortly. Apologies this took a while to publish, I thought I could have it all in one chapter!
I hope you're all doing ok, beautiful people x
"What time is the appointment?" Peter double checked. He had a feeling he knew, but didn't want to get it wrong.
"Ten." She replied softly, brushing her hair in front of the small mirror that rested on the chest of drawers.
The pair were getting dressed and ready after another restless night. The couple were both anxious and desperate to know that everything was alright. Carla's sickness was still there, but seemed to be a bit more manageable now she had the tablets.
Today, Carla was around eight weeks pregnant and although unable to take her mind off the worry she felt, she was glad that things, so far, were going well.
"Do you need the letter?" He asked her, gesturing towards the piece of paper that was on top of her bedside table.
"I don't know. I'll bring it just in case." She replied, putting some earrings in.
"It'll be alright, you know." He reassured her, coming up from behind her and wrapping his arms around her waist. "We'll be parents by the start of next year." He added, his hands coming to rest on her abdomen.
"Peter, don't." She warned, before pulling away. Getting attached to the baby was not something she wanted to do. As harsh as it sounded, she knew that she wouldn't be able to handle it if anything went wrong again, especially now she didn't have the support of her family.
"Besides, we're already parents." She reminded him. "Well, you are." She finalised.
"Stop worrying." He reminded her. "Have you taken your tablets?" Peter asked, making the bed.
"Yes." She smiled, knowing how much he wanted to be there, how much he wanted to get involved. It was a stark contrast to his behaviour when they were expecting last time. But since then, times had changed massively and Carla felt, now more than ever, Peter was all she ever had, and more than enough for her.
The journey to the hospital that morning was a quiet one. Both not wanting to speak out of turn, and both too anxious to say anything, other than light conversation. Once they knew that everything was alright, no doubt they would be a lot happier and their minds would be put to rest.
As much as Peter wanted to reassure his missus, he knew that he didn't want to get her hopes up too much. He was equally as nervous as she was, knowing the risks too. He had undertaken lots of research, mainly through googling, initially to try and be more supportive. But as time passed, he found himself down a rabbit hole of risks, precautions and what ifs. He placed his hand briefly on her lap, letting her know that he was there for her and that he loved her. Carla looked up to him, and smiled softly.
"What do you think they'll say?" Carla thought aloud.
"Who?" Peter asked, wondering who she was alluding to, hoping she still wasn't worrying about her family. They had made it clear they didn't want to believe that she wasn't responsible for the roof collapse, so he felt there was no point in wondering what their opinions would be.
"Michelle, Johnny, Kate." She listed, looking straight ahead, deep in thought.
"As long as you and the baby are alright, I couldn't care less." He told her, and he was deadly serious. "They've made their choice." He pointed out, as Carla took a deep breath. Her heart was heavy at the thought of her family disbelieving that she wouldn't put he lives of her workforce in danger. She thought they knew her better, especially Michelle.
"Whatever happens, you'll always have me." He reminded her, in quite a casual tone, trying not to let the conversation fall any deeper. Carla stressing about that situation was unnecessary, and just added more to the pile.
Once at the hospital, the couple sat in the waiting room, surrounded by other couples. Peter couldn't help but notice that they all looked significantly younger than they were. He chuckled to himself. Only himself and Carla could get themselves into this situation, especially now. You'd think that as you got older, you would think about contraception, be more careful. Apparently not.
"What are you smiling at?" Carla asked him softly, noticing his face change as she sipped water from a plastic cup.
"Us." He replied, looking into her eyes. It was a sight he'd never get tired of.
"What about us?" She remarked, slightly confused.
"Doing this." He replied, met with yet another confused look. "Having a baby." Peter confirmed, as Carla nodded in understanding. "I never thought in a million years we'd get the chance. Not now anyway." He added finally, with Carla humming in agreement.
"Do you think we're doing the right thing?" She asked.
"Of course!" He exclaimed, while keeping his voice low so that other people in the waiting room didn't overhear their conversation. "You're going to be such a good Mum." He reassured her. Carla shot him a look, knowing that he wasn't meant to talk about the future, just in case he tempted fate. Before anything else could be said on the matter, they were called in.
"Carla Connor?" A midwife called from a room, the signal for Carla and Peter to rise from where they were sat and follow her into the room.
Carla tensed up as she walked into the white-walled sterile box. Peter placed his hand onto the small of her back, gently reminding her not to worry too much and that everything was going to be fine.
The room itself wasn't designed to be intimidating, but the worry Carla felt had well and truly taken over. There was a desk, with a couple of chairs next to it and towards the back of the room, a bench with paper draped over it next to what looked like an ultrasound machine. Memories of her previous times in identical rooms flooded back to her - an unwelcome reminder of all of the heartbreak and pain she had endured after finding out her baby girl was healthy, just for it all to be ripped away. It was cruel, unfair, unjust. The midwife invited the couple to take a seat in the chairs.
"Morning. I'm Debbie, and I'll be going through some things with you today, telling you all you need to know and answering any questions you might have for me." She explained, casually. "How are you feeling?" The midwife asked Carla.
"Alright, I think." Carla replied. Peter could see that she was absolutely terrified. He took her hand in his, delicately smoothing his thumb over the back of her hand.
"You've been prescribed some anti-sickness tablets. Are they working for you?" She asked, in a cheery tone. Carla found it strangely comforting to have someone so positive sitting in front of her, almost as if she thought everything was going to be ok. It filled her with a bit more confidence.
"They're helping." Carla explained rather cryptically. Although, overall, they did help with the sickness itself, the nausea still plagued her. She felt terrible nearly all the time. It kept her up at night, where Peter remained firmly by her side, even at stupid times in the morning. In a way, Carla felt for him. Often, he'd only have a few hours of sleep, then he'd go to work and even come back during his breaks to check up on her. She felt grateful to have him there, a tower of strength, whenever she needed him.
"Are there any questions that you have for me?" The midwife questioned, inviting the couple to ask whatever they felt the need to. Peter looked to Carla, before she shook her head. All she wanted to know was that her baby was doing well.
"Your doctor informed me that you previously suffered a miscarriage." The midwife mentioned, looking at the electronic notes, and the referral, she had pulled up on her computer in front of her.
"I did, yeah." Carla mumbled as Peter's heart broke. He knew that it'd be mentioned, but even so,
"I'm so sorry to hear that." She replied apologetically. "Do you mind me asking, far gone were you?" She asked, Peter delicately squeezing her hand.
"Sixteen weeks." Carla replied, doing her best to stay strong and not choke up with the memories that had flooded the forefront of her mind.
"It's normal to feel apprehensive after you've been through something like that." She replied, almost reading Carla's mind. "But, we're here to support you in whatever way we can and to make sure that this pregnancy goes as smoothly as possible." She added with a beaming smile.
"What I'm going to do for you now is just check your blood pressure, if that's ok?" She asked, before placing the cuff over Carla's arm.
"Ok, so your blood pressure is 80/50, which is on the low side, but that's nothing that we wouldn't normally expect this early on in the pregnancy." The midwife informed Carla
"Is there anything I can do to make it a little higher?" The mum-to-be enquired, wanting to do the best for her unborn child.
"Just take things slowly, remember to take care of yourself." Debbie smiled in response.
"I'll make sure she does that." Peter assured her, flashing Carla a soft smile. He meant every word. He made a promise to himself. He was going to look after Carla, and his baby as well as he possibly could. He was going to love them, and prove himself to be a good father. He didn't want anything to happen to either of them. He was grateful that he had been given a second chance, an opportunity to do all the right things, and it wasn't something he was going to pass up on.
"Normally we'd give you two separate appointments, but I can do a dating scan for you now, check up on baby's size and work out a more accurate due date?" She offered, as Carla turned to Peter, a pang of excitement in her eyes.
"That would be great." Peter chuckled, partly due to his own nerves.
"Well, then. Carla, if you just want to sit up on that bed for me and I'll get a sonographer in here to do a scan." She smiled, as she left the room. Carla did as instructed, and sat on the bench, on the other side of the room. Peter noticed how shaky his partner was. He came round and stood next to her, wrapping his arms around her.
"It'll be fine." He whispered, before planting a gentle kiss in her hair. "I love you." He reminded her, before slowly releasing her from his light grip.
"I love you." She muttered back, biting her lip, another sign of her anxiety. Peter intertwined his fingers with hers, giving her a light distraction, which she took full advantage of.
Soon enough, the midwife came back in to the room, followed by a sonographer and after a brief introduction, the wait was finally over.
"If you just want to roll your top up for me?" The sonographer asked. Carla did as the was told, before Peter took her left hand in reassurance.
"This is going to be cold." She warned, before squirting the gel onto her abdomen. It seemed as if it took forever for the sonographer to tell the couple anything. In reality, it was only a matter of minutes.
"Can I ask, do twins run in the family at all?" The sonographer stopped to ask.
"I'm a twin." Peter told her, before pausing and wondering why she would ask something like that. Unless... It couldn't be, right? "Wait, it's not, is it?" Peter dared to ask, as Carla had frozen with shock, knowing there would only be one reason for her to ask that question.
"Do you want to take a look for yourselves?" She asked softly, turning the screen to the expectant parents.
"Are they alright?" Carla asked after a pause, looking at the screen intently, staring at her two babies.
"I'll need to have a bit of a closer look, but they're both looking healthy from what I can see so far." She smiled.
Carla took a slow deep, shaky breath, her eyes slowly filling with tears. She was absolutely terrified. Her head was almost instantly filled with a thousand questions and worries. How would they manage? What would her family say? Would they be able make it to full term?
"It'll work out." Peter softly reassured his partner, wiping a stray tear that had started to fall down her cheek.
"This will mean that we'll have to monitor you and both babies a bit more closely, but there's nothing to worry about at the moment." The midwife assured Carla, having noticed her change in demeanour.
"They look a healthy size, I'm just going to take a quick look at their heartbeats." The sonographer explained. Looking closely you could see the soft beating of the child's heart, with both parents breathing massive sighs of relief. "That's baby A." She informed them. Peter's eyes, just like Carla's, had started to fill. He couldn't explain the elation he felt at seeing that little flicker, his baby's heartbeat, for the very first time.
More tears had rolled down Carla's cheeks, as she had extremely mixed emotions. It was hard. The overwhelming happiness and pride that her baby seemed to be doing well, mixed with the fear that something could happen to destroy that, added with the uncertainty of not yet hearing her other child's heartbeat.
Around a minute later, Peter was still overjoyed, with Carla a lot more anxious. "What about the other baby?" She enquired, a wavering in her voice. She was still on tenterhooks.
"Here we are." The sonographer announced, turning the screen round once more. Peter smiled, nodding softly, thankful that everything was perfect. Carla still remained in a state of shellshock. It was the last thing that either of them had expected.
"It's a bit of a shock, and it might take some getting used to." The midwife smiled, concluding the appointment, handing Carla a paper folder with assorted documents and the small white card with the scan photo inside. "Just remember, we're here to support you every step of the way." She added. Peter wrapped his arm around Carla to support her. He was convinced that she had turned whiter since the news had been revealed.
"Thank you." Peter thanked her, as he led Carla out of the door.
As she stepped back out into the waiting area, it seemed as if time stood still. She couldn't think properly. A baby was a blessing, two seemed more like a catastrophe. She had already lost one baby, she was convinced that her body wouldn't be able to handle two at the same time. At her age, with her record.
Her family turning their backs didn't help matters much either and she wished more than anything that she could just pick up the phone and talk it through with Michelle. Carla stood rooted to the spot until Peter softly took her hand and lead her out towards the car park.
"Are you ok, love?" He asked as they sat in the vehicle, not having moved from their parking space outside the hospital. Peter had noticed her withdrawn demeanour and began to worry about how she was feeling and whether this was what she wanted.
"I just want to go home." She told him, staring straight ahead, her mind a mess. Negative thoughts hadn't eased and anxiety weighed heavy on her heart. She knew that Peter wanted to talk, but she didn't feel like having a massive discussion, not until she had gathered all of her thoughts together and made sense of the situation, which might have taken the next seven months anyway.
"I love you." He reminded her, looking into her eyes, searching for a sign of how she was really feeling.
"Love you." She mumbled in response, her mind clearly still on other things.
As Peter started the journey back home, he wondered how he could get Carla through this. Things were hard enough with the Connors already. Although, he was determined to help her get through it. As long as they had each other, and their unborn children were healthy, that's all that mattered. They could work on the rest later.
Twitter: Lost_Buoy