It wasn't what he said that proved to her that he had actually changed. It was in the little things she noticed he did now.
It was in his tender kisses, the way he held her gaze when they spoke; she could see it in his eyes.
As they lay in front of the blazing fire, laughing and reminiscing, Matt paused for a second, taking a moment to appreciate how things had turned out.
"Do you remember when you almost fell out of the highest window at Wammy's?" The firelight gave the already cosy cottage an even more homey feel. He reached for her hand, a smirk playing on his lips "You scared the literal shit out of me, we had already been bollocked by Roger that night for breaking curfew."
He had been young and stupid back then. Matt supposed almost dying would probably make you re-evaluate how his life had been lived; in that last life, he had been nothing short of an utter bastard, and yet...
She was here, and with him. He felt more than undeserving of her, and he thanked every god he could think of for Soar convincing him to go to the alumni showcase. Carys had invited him back that night, the pair staying up until the wee hours talking, probably the most talking they had done about anything, ever.
Since then, they had taken things slowly. He couldn't blame her for being wary, really.
"I remember that, yeah. You were scared? I thought my stomach was gonna fall out of my arse. I thought I was invincible."
"Sadly, my love," her smile was soft, and she drew her hazel eyes up to meet his "we are not invincible."
He felt his stomach drop again, he knew better than anyone else now that invincibility was not a common human trait. He took a lot of lead that day in Japan, and if it hadn't been for Near, he wouldn't be here now.
Five years apart had not been fun; he still remembered the day he came round, desperately looking for her.
"Where's Car? Why isn't she here?" the redhead demanded, eyes searching around the small hospital room "Where the fuck am I?"
"Safe. And Carys is not here. Carys thinks you are dead, and I am sorry Matt, but for the moment, it must stay this way."
Matt's emerald eyes narrowed on the smaller white-haired male, almost growling "You can't keep me from her."
"I can. And I will." Near twirled white hair around his finger, eyes never leaving Matt "But I do want you to know, we defeated Kira, and had it not been for you and Mello, we wouldn't have. She believes you died a hero, and after some of the things you did to her, don't you think she deserves that peace?"
Matt couldn't speak, and an unfamiliar lump began to grow in his throat. "Will I ever see her again? Did she get my note?"
Near shook his head "You may see her again, one day. If and when that will be, I cannot say. And no. She didn't, I made sure of that. She could not know or the plan would not have worked. I have your ring and I will return that to you."
The day he was finally allowed to see her again had not exactly gone to plan. She had screamed and run, the opposite reaction to what Matt had wanted and expected, and for the first time, Matt had learned how it felt to have his heart broken.
It had haunted him for weeks; the look of horror on her face was almost too much to take, and the hard truths she had screamed at him echoed.
"Car? Babe! It's me!"
The brunette turned, hazel eyes wide "T-this cannot be real, you're d-dead..."
Matt took a step towards Carys, only for her to jump back and grab Soar's hand, Soar's expression something between fear and anger. Matt felt his cheeks burn with embarrassment "Car, please, I can explain."
"I don't want you to explain! Five fucking years, and you just re-appear and talk to me like nothing ever happened!" Sheer unadulterated anger had replaced the horror on Carys' face "You have no idea what I've been through, after everything you did! You lied to me, you went behind my back, and I believed for so long that you died doing the right thing for once in your life!"
"Carys, please, I am so so-"
"I don't want your apologies!" Tears streamed down her face, as Soar stood and watched, unsure of what to do or say to diffuse the situation "Just stay the fuck away from me. Go back to doing whatever or whoever you're doing and don't pretend like you actually give a fuck."
With another blistering look, Carys turned on her heel and bolted back down the hallway, doors slamming in her wake. Soar finally turned to the redhead, who was stood with tears gathering in the corners of his eyes.
She sighed, feeling quietly awful.
If it hadn't been for that night, he mused to himself, this wouldn't be.
He had thought about her every day, at first he had just missed the sex, but as time went on, Matt had realised just how much he missed.
He had a new appreciation for her and her little ways; he cherished every second.
He was pulled from his thoughts when she snuggled up against him, pulling his free arm around her. He had missed the warmth of her touch, and as he took a deep breath, Matt once again re-counted his blessings.
They had married at seventeen, running away to Scotland as soon as they'd broken free of Wammy's, and Roger. Back then, his true reasoning for marrying her was security; someone to fall back on until Mello was back in the picture; it wasn't that he didn't love her, he did, but safety had been the biggest draw.
Soar was furious when she found out they had married, telling them that they were too young to know what love truly was, and that they would maybe one day come to regret such a serious choice, and Matt could remember Carys defiantly telling Soar that she did know what love was.
Back then, he believed he was settling for safety, but not now. A lot of Carys had changed in five years, she looked older, and wiser, but somehow, even after all she had been through, with and without him, the world hadn't dulled the sparkle in her eyes that he loved so.
Every curve, every hair, every part of her was perfect, and he smiled to himself as he studied her.
Carys, feeling his gaze blushed a bright pink "What?"
"Nothin', just taking a minute to appreciate how fucking beautiful you are."
"Thank you," Carys blushed brighter, taken aback by the sudden compliment. It was a very welcome change compared to their last relationship, she adored his new, softer side "Not too bad yourself."
Like her readheaded partner, Carys was still astounded at how things had ended up. She was a few months short of twenty when he left, and he left her a broken girl.
Through grief, Carys had helped bring down Kira, and moved semi permanently to Japan afterward.
And in Japan, she found love once more, in the form of a dorky cop named Matsuda, who helped her heal and showed her what love really was.
She never expected to have her heart broken again, but then again, no one had expected the Yakuza to come back with a vengeance.
Carys swallowed back a lump in her throat; she wasn't ready to think, or talk about him just yet. Matt sensed a shift in her, and silently pulled her closer, kissing her head softly.
"This time is forever, yeah?" Carys said suddenly, catching the redhead off guard "No fuck arounds, no shit. This is it."
"Forever." he replied softly, sure this time.