Christmas is coming" Owen sang as he skipped around the Hub throwing glitter over everything, his efforts to piss off the Tea Boy going full throttle. He could practically hear the intake of breath as Ianto tried to pretend it was nothing to be alarmed about.
Gwen was sitting at her desk ignoring him, thinking her own thoughts… of… whatever silly twats think about. Owen had no idea… she looked constipated to him anyway. Maybe that was it. Fill of shit. Owen sniggered to himself as he enjoyed the play on words that he was sure would amuse Jack as well.
"Owen… not the keyboards" Toshiko scolded laying her files over the keys so the glitter wafting about did not upset the system.
"What do snowmen have for breakfast?" Owen asked, glee evident as he leaned forward "Snowflakes!"
"What do you get when you cross a snowman with a vampire?" Jack yelled out across the Hub as he sorted through tat on a table "Frostbite!"
"Who delivers presents to cats?" Owen asked his hands on his hip now "Santa Paws!"
"Who's Rudolph's favourite pop star?" Jack stopped sorting to look over at Owen now, a game afoot as this man had read more than a lifetime's worth of Christmas cracker jokes "Beyon-sleigh!"
Owen choked with mirth, and then asked "What do you call buying a piano for the holidays?"
Jack considered then shook his head so Owen added "Christmas Chopin!"
"What goes Ho Ho Whoosh, Ho Ho Whoosh?" Gwen suddenly joined in "Santa going through a revolving door!"
"Why don't you ever see Santa in hospital?" Toshiko tried "Because he has private elf care!"
Owen stared at her then asked "What's a child's favourite king at Christmas? A stoc-king!"
"Why did the turkey cross the road? Because it was the chicken's day off!" Gwen rose to stand and look around with glee. She was stealing Owen's thunder and knew it.
"What do you get if you cross Santa with a detective? Santa Clues!" Owen said in a rush, unable to wait for the gap for someone to shrug.
"What did the beaver say to the Christmas Tree?" Jack was excited too "Nice gnawing you!"
"How does Darth Vader enjoy his Christmas Turkey? On the dark side!" Gwen giggled, Rhys' annoying jokes now coming in handy.
"Why did no one bid for Rudolph and Blitzen on eBay?" Jack asked, now stepping away from the table to get closer to the fun "Because they were two deer!
"What does Miley Cyrus have at Christmas? Twerky!" Gwen chuckled.
"How did Scrooge win the football game? The ghost of Christmas passed!" Owen roared at his own joke.
"What is Santa's favourite place to deliver presents?" Jack asked then answered with a gush "Idaho-ho-ho!"
"Why couldn't the skeleton go to the Christmas Party?" Toshiko stepped into the middle of the Hub, joining Owen and Jack "Because he had nobody to go with!"
"When is a boat just like snow?" Jack pointed a finger around then added "When it's adrift!"
"What do you call a bunch of chess players bragging about their games in a hotel lobby?" Toshiko asked "Chess nuts boasting in an open foyer!"
Both men stared at her as Gwen sniggered, then cleared her throat and said "What did the stamp say to the Christmas card? Stick with me and we'll go places!"
"Who do Santa's helpers call when they're ill?" Owen had another one, now giving Gwen a funny look "The National Elf Service!"
"Why is it getting harder to buy Advent calendars? Their days are numbered!" Gwen yelled.
"Who is Santa's favourite singer? Elf-is Presley!" Owen yelled back.
"How did Mary and Joseph know Jesus' weight when he was born? They had a weigh in a manger!" Now everyone stalled out as Toshiko's last one fell flat. Er… right.
"What do you get if you cross Santa with a duck?" Jack started again "A Christmas Quacker!"
"Why was the snowman looking through the carrots?" Owen said as he looked a little naughty now "He was picking his nose!"
"Why was the turkey in the pop group?" Gwen was still at her workstation as she called out "Because he was the only one with drumsticks!"
"What did Adam say the day before Christmas? "It's Christmas, Eve!" … get it?" Toshiko asked "Eve?"
"What happened to the man who stole an Advent Calendar?" Jack was on a roll now "He got 25 days!"
"Who delivers presents to baby sharks at Christmas? Santa Jaws!" Owen was laughing now, the image of a shark in a Santa hat to good to let go.
"What do they sing at a snowman's birthday party?" Gwen called out another one "Freeze a jolly good fellow!"
"What kind of motorbike does Santa ride?" Owen turned to stare at her and she answered it "A Holly Davidson!"
"What does Santa do when his elves misbehave?" Jack looked from Owen to Gwen who seemed locked in a weird thing, then he turned to tell Toshiko instead "He gives them the sack!"
"What do monkeys sing at Christmas?" Owen asked with his eyes narrowing as he thought of something and Gwen answered him again "Jungle bells!"
"Why did Santa's helper see the doctor?" Owen suddenly said and Gwen seemed to stall out, looking at her computer screen with a deep frown before throwing her hands up.
"Because he had a low elf esteem!" Owen said, having moved to her workstation and he seized the screen, turning it to roar "I thought so. Cheat. Fucking cheat.. she's on my website!"
"It's not YOUR website!" Gwen retorted, "and you shouldn't leave a page open so another team member can click into your screen then!"
"What did the team say when Santa set fire to their charismas gifts due to the ungodly glitter all over his workspace?" A new voice asked calmly as Ianto stood in the doorway with his scarf still wrapped around his neck, the bags of food hanging from his hands and his eyes boring a hole into the little prick's back. Yeah. He knew who did this.
Owen turned slowly to face his arch nemesis with a soft grin "er… A ferbble exploded?"
Nope.
"God, Scrooge has entered the building" Owen muttered as he closed the bag of glitter and slipped it back into his pocket.
For later.
Maybe Ianto's car window was cracked open a little?
Hehehe.