J

Lisa raced from the house. From my spot on the couch I was able to watch her race down the sidewalk, fumble with her keys in front of her car, and then speed off without so much as a wave, without hesitation. She didn't even look back. Who did that? One minute we were kissing passionately. I was actually looking forward to our little tryst. The excitement had been building nicely. I could feel her erection pressing against me in all the best places. She kissed just right…not too much tongue, not too slimy. I didn't feel like wiping my mouth or pushing her away. This was all pretty new to me.

Ever since the divorce, I'd had no desire to have anyone near me. I'd sworn off men and decided I'd never be dependent on one again. After all the years it had taken me to recover financially from Kris, I couldn't imagine ever risking my heart or my home. I wrapped my arms around my body as I remembered what it was like driving back here from Seattle to live with my elderly mother. I swallowed hard as I pictured a seven years younger me struggling up the sidewalk with my bulging suitcase. All my belongings crammed into one piece of luggage. Kris had kept everything.

In truth, it was my fault. I'd agreed to the pre-nup. I suppose that should've been my first sign that the asshole wasn't the guy for me, but I was blinded by my love for a man who had treated me like a princess and made me his trophy wife. Then I hit twenty-five, which was apparently too old for him. We'd only been married five years. I didn't earn a cut of our life until we'd been married for ten. He'd started coming home later and later, often with lipstick on his collar and a smug look on his face.

I knew precisely who he was seeing behind my back, or right in front of my face, depending on how I looked at the situation. "She only wants you for your money," I announced as I sat up in the living room waiting for him one night.

"You only wanted me for my money," Kris accused.

I shook my head, my then long hair whipping around my face. "No. I actually love you. At least I did. And maybe if you stopped treating the cheating like a sport, I could love you again. We could have the life you promised me. Try," I pleaded. Even then, I knew I was more afraid of having to go back to Westport than I was of suffering the quiet humiliation of being married to Kris while he dated his personal assistant.

"Why don't you pack up and make room for the next Mrs. Ellerby," he urged. "You can't possibly be happy. You're only hoping to stick it out long enough for a payout."

I swallowed hard. "You wouldn't let me work."

Kris shrugged. "You didn't need to. I paid for everything."

My fingers turned white from my tight grip on the arms of the chair. "So, how am I supposed to survive on nothing? How am I supposed to even leave?"

"Fine." He sighed. "I'll buy you a bus ticket. Anywhere you want to go." He grinned like he was giving me some big bonus. In his mind, I'm sure he thought he was, since legally, he could kick me to the curb without warning at any time…much like this. "Take your things. Take your jewelry even." Kris moved to the stairs and rested his hand on the banister. "I'll leave you money, but only if you're gone by the time I return from work tomorrow."

My brow furrowed and tears flowed down my face. "How am I supposed to accomplish that?" I stood and moved toward him, hoping my sorrow and fear might strike some chord in him and I could get an extension. "One week," I begged. "Please. If you ever loved me, give me a chance to properly pack and make arrangements for where to go."

Kris tugged at his chin. Maybe he was trying to decide if he'd ever loved me. Finally, his shoulders sagged and he grimaced. "So, I'll pack a bag and take Misty away for the weekend. When I return after work on Monday, you better be out because she'll be moving in." Then he rushed up the stairs, returning minutes later with a bag he must've had packed for just this occasion. He passed me without so much as a second look, pausing at the side table in the foyer to drop an envelope on the cold stone surface.

When the door closed, I sank to the floor, regretting I'd even confronted him. If I'd have left it alone, I might've bought myself more time. I might've lasted the whole year and ten months I needed for the big million-dollar payout.

I'd spent the next two days selling off all the stuff I'd no longer need for the lifestyle I no longer had. I'd taken pennies on the dollar for fancy handbags, designer shoes and clothes, and all my jewelry. Through it all, I'd kept my chin up, until our driver spoke to me while dropping me at the Greyhound station.

"I've been with Mr. Ellerby for many years," he reminded me quietly. "You're not the first I've seen him do this to, but you're the best, the nicest. I'm terribly sorry."

I barely hid a sob as I stared at him in shock. "Why didn't you warn me?"

He shook his head. "I thought you were actually going to make it until he started noticing a few strands of gray hair in his beard and began talking about a few laugh lines you'd developed beside your eyes."

Slowly, I'd peeled myself out of the back seat of the Mercedes as I tried to pull it together. There'd be plenty of time to cry once I'd reached my old bedroom in the house I'd grown up in.

When I arrived on my mother's doorstep, she wasn't thrilled to see me. "I can't afford to feed another mouth right now, Jennie," she explained quietly. "I'm not doing well."

Her words were an understatement. My mother was dying from lung cancer at the age of forty-seven. She'd been subjected to secondhand smoke the entire time she was growing up. Then, she'd been a bartender at a place on the outskirts of town and endured more. By the time they discovered what was wrong with her, the tumor was inoperable and she was struggling with walking pneumonia. Two weeks later, she died, leaving me a mountain of medical bills to settle from her life insurance, and the house.

Jisoo helped me sell it and find this place. She'd found the struggling vineyard and helped me cut a deal. I owed her everything and I was finally in a position to pay her back. Unfortunately for Lisa, I wasn't willing to put myself in a position to hurt like that ever again. And in the instant after she'd left, I'd realized that was all that could come from being with her.