"Don't get too close," Kaiba said without looking up from his petri dish.

Jou glanced around himself then nearly jumped out of his skin when he saw a plant with teeth actually leaning toward him.

"Holy fuck!" he screeched. "What the hell is that?"

Kaiba chuckled. "Just a bit of fun. I spliced a Venus Fly Trap with a species of Succulent that is sensitive to movement."

"You are one creepy dude." Jou shook his head. "I liked you more when you just did computer stuff. That was boring. Now you're like some mad scientist."

"I enjoy my hobbies." Kaiba shrugged. "It gives me a chance to be creative."

"See? Breeding killer plants isn't a hobby. It's the kinda crap that gets you into the Villain Hall of Fame."

Kaiba considered the idea. "Do I get my own wing?"

"Nah. You gotta share with Ming the Merciless."

He considered that, too. Then he nodded. "Accepted." He went back to the microscope. "Now if you'll excuse me, I need to breed a killer plant."

"Man! You are such an asshole!" Jou laughed as he crossed the room. He grabbed a handful of silky chestnut colored hair and gently pulled the attached head back. "How'd I hook up with you anyhow?" He leaned down and kissed the brunette's lips lightly.

"Obviously you are luckier than I am. I am supposed to be with someone richer and sexier than myself."

Jou scoffed at that. "I didn't know you believed in Santa and the tooth fairy."

"I don't. I took up genetic engineering as a hobby to build the perfect man. You're just keeping his space warm until I succeed."

"Yeah? How's that goin'?"

"You don't need to start packing yet." Kaiba pursed his lips and Jou obliged him with another kiss.

Jou stroked his fingers through his lover's hair. "So, that creepy thing what you been working on?"

"Ah!" Kaiba grinned. "No. That project is in my private lab. Let me finish these notes and I'll show you."

An hour or so later, Kaiba turned on the lights for a room several floors below the main research division. It was off of a windowless corridor and appeared to be surrounded by plumbing, power, and other loud building maintenance. The room itself was silent when the door closed.

Jou looked curiously at Kaiba. "Minimal furniture, soundproof, easy to clean the blood, no one hears the screams. You sure you're not a villain?"

Kaiba's grin turned wicked. "Well, I was concerned about the screaming. It's in here."

"This is the scene in the movie where the audience yells 'don't go in there'. You know that right?"

Kaiba chuckled. "Not in this movie."

The inner room was smaller, but more comfortable. The floor was covered with a thick rug. There was a lab table and file cabinet against one wall. The opposite had a couch. In the middle of the room was a case with a cover and a light fixture above it.

"I've been experimenting with two species that have very different light needs," Kaiba explained. "Although, their nutrient needs are quite similar. In fact, their largely protein diet -"

"Stop! Protein? Are you seriously trying to breed a maneater?"

Kaiba smirked. "I rather suspect the answer to your question is both yes and no. But our meanings are entirely different." He gestured to the couch. "Perhaps I should start with my intent, before I reveal my results."

"Yeah, let's do that. Does any of this involve bodily fluids?"

"No, I have not created a plant that lives on human blood."

"Were you trying to -"

"Vampires are dull; I'd much rather explore the transformative abilities of lycanthropes. So, no, this in no way, shape or form involved, involves, intended to involve, nor has any future intent to involve blood. Shall I write that out and have it notarized, or is my word enough for the moment?"

"Ok, ok. Sorry. Tell me about the meat eating plant."

"Protein eating, and let me start at my idea. You are on the entirely wrong track." Kaiba gestured again, and Jou sat. "When we first began our relationship - after we determined that we did have an ongoing, long term relationship - we engaged in a number of personal experiments -"

"We bought a store's worth of sex toys." Jou couldn't hide his lecherous smirk at the memory. "And used every one. We got a whole dresser full of things that bust a nut. Kinda hard to forget."

"And wouldn't if I could." Kaiba smiled warmly. "Since that time, we have had a continuous search to expand our collection."

"So are you trying to grow a toy of some kind?"

He shrugged. "I wouldn't say toy. More of an aid."

"You're trying to grow a sex plant."

"Well, frankly, yes. I had a number of ideas and inspiration struck me while we were attending the Literary Society's reception at the aquarium."

"Oh yeah, you did get a bit frisky that night. I figured it was all the living tentacle porn."

"It was tricky incorporating that detail. I had to create a subspecies to splice into my subject."

"Seriously?" Jou laughed. "Wait! You've been spending, like, months in a botany lab, making a tentacle plant that eats jizz? That's pretty much liquid protein, right?"

"It is. And, there is far more to what I created than simply a tentacle plant that eats jizz. But," Kaiba snickered, "that is the gist of it."

"You are one sick, sick freak." Jou shook his head, standing. "What kind of twist spends time and money making a plant to fuck? How many times did you come down here just to jack off?"

"How long before you want to see it?" Kaiba countered.

"Past that." Jou snorted. "I wanna see you use it - and the videos of the test run. 'Cause I know your sick, perv ass taped it."

"I'll bring the disks home with us tonight." Kaiba pulled the cover aside.

It looked like a fleshy flower with a very thick stem. A bit like a sea anemone placed atop a green pedestal. The petals were much like very short tentacles, deep purple on the outer edges and moving toward a rose pink in the center. In the very middle, Jou could just make out a hole.

"You fuck the flower," Jou stated.

"You fuck the flower," Kaiba confirmed.

"That's it?"

"It would hardly be worth the effort if that were it." Kaiba tilted his head. "Not tempted to try it?"

The plant stand could be raised or lowered to a comfortable height. The velvet-like texture of the petals meant that no lube was required. And the plant swallowed.

Kaiba stood behind his lover, teasing his nipples as Jou experienced the botanical thrill.

"Dude, this is amazing!" He groaned. "It feels alive."

"It is alive." Kaiba kissed across Jou's shoulders. "Alive and hungry."

"I'm gettin' ready to feed it a nice one. You wanna help speed things up, you could put that tool of yours in the shed, you know what I'm sayin'."

"Are you saying that you'd come faster if I thrust my hard, throbbing cock into your hot, willing ass?"

"Aw, man! I love it when you talk dirty! Yeah, I'm sayin' that."

"No lubricant? Shall I take my time and slowly prepare you for entry?"

"Like I need all that!" He snickered, "you own my ass. Fuck me, babe."

"Fuck me is such a vulgar phrase," Kaiba sighed as he unbuckled his pants one handed. The other he gave Katsuya to suck for a moment before using his fingers to provide a pretense of lube and a bit of preparation. "I prefer to enter the deepest parts of you and fill you with my lust until it overflows."

"Whatever. Quit sayin' it and start - oh shit yeah!" he gasped. "Oh damn! The plant's gettin' tighter!"

"You must be leaking," Kaiba whispered, moving his hips slowly. "Once it recognizes prey, it begins to constrict."

"Faster!" Jou panted. "So close!"

"Closer if I do this?" Kaiba placed something on Jou's nipples.

The sensitive points began to tingle, then constrict.

"Oh, fuck!" He groaned, head lolling back. "Harder, babe!"

"Not too hard," Kaiba chuckled. "I don't want to knock over the plant."

"Come on, you guys are makin' me crazy here!"

"So you like my plant?"

"I love your plant!" He gasped. "It's warm an' wet like a blow, but tight. Tight." He hissed. "Ok, tight enough. Enough! Too tight! Too tight! Make it stop!"

"It doesn't stop," Kaiba purred. He grabbed Jou's hands to prevent him from pulling at the flower or the vines constricting his chest. "It squeezes until it crushes bone, until it liquefies everything foolish enough to be caught in its trap. Then it absorbs every drop of sweat, blood, or sweet thick creamy cum it can drain from those tender little stones of yours." Jou stiffened, his voice caught in his throat. "My goodness! You must enjoy being swallowed whole. Your 'trap' is constricting me so tightly, too. I can hardly move. Let's see if I can find..."

Kaiba shifted his hips and Jou suddenly gasped. His back arched and his whole body trembled. Jou's orgasm set off Kaiba's and the two men moaned in tandem.

Abruptly the plant slackened and released Jou. Kaiba took a step or two backward, and they both collapsed on the couch.

After a moment to breathe, Jou said, "you knew that was going to happen."

"Scared me witless the first time it happened."

"You asshole," Jou huffed without any heat. "You are so lucky I love you. That shit is fucked up."

"It needs to be fed two or three portions, twice a day or the skin begins to lose the velvet texture. Care to assist me for the second feeding?"

"Fuck! A killer plant with your sex drive." He took a deep breath. "At least I know what to do when you're out of town for a month." He sat up. "This thing can't get knocked up, right? You evil scientists make some jacked up stuff and I don't want no plant babies."

"Put it down there for now." Seto gestured to the center of the room. "I'll decide where to put it later."

The two butlers put the plant on the floor, bowed and left.

"You sure the lab won't mind us stealing your sex plant?" Jou asked.

"This is one of two of this breed. This is the first, but I had to grow a second to prove that the species would breed true." Seto glanced around the room. "Low light but some moisture is preferable," he mused.

"The bathroom?" Jou suggested.

"Ah. Yes, if there's space."

Jou lifted the heavy pot and Seto moved the plant stand. In a corner by the bathtub it fit perfectly.

"So, how are we gonna keep this thing fed?"

"Actually, twice a day is the maximum feeding," Seto chuckled. "It will survive reasonably well being fed twice a week. There was a third plant, but the lab assistants overfed it. And, before you ask, yes, there is a non-human food source."

"Aw, darn." Jou dropped his arms around Seto's neck. "I was looking forward to watching you feed it twice a day."

"Watching? You misunderstand. This is a scientific study. I have a number of experiments I need to complete. I fully intend for you to assist with these tests."

"Yeah? Assist how?"

"Well, for instance," Seto slipped his arms around Jou's waist. "Currently, I have no data on tolerance."

"Tolerance?"

"The physical tolerances of the plant. How wide can the opening stretch, how deeply can it be penetrated, that sort of thing."

"Wide and deep?"

"If you are going to deride the scientific process -"

"I ain't ridin' nothing, babe!" Jou snickered. "But, you know, you should probably have something to compare it to, right? You could get data on my tolerance first, right?"

"And then compare it to the plants. Hmm. Well, I suppose the idea has some merit." Seto pulled his hands forward, pulling Jou with him into the bedroom.

Into the closet.

The walk-in closet was - according to Jou - twice the size of his father's apartment. Both Seto and Jou's entire wardrobes fit with space for additions. On the central wall separating Seto's formals from Jou's sports apparel was a dresser.

The three smallest drawers contained an array of non-piercing body jewelry. Rings for nipples, cocks, and scrotums. Clamps, and other custom-made items. The next drawer held sleeves, vibrating and non, constricting and girth-expanding. Beside that was a drawer full of dildos and prostate massagers in a variety of shapes and sizes.

The largest drawer held the largest toys: vibrating shaft rings with full length dildos attached, floor-mount anal expanders, and other things for special occasions.

Seto pulled out one of his favorites. It was a gel ring attached to a shaft and scrotum, which were textured to feel life-like and at least 20cm long. The vibrator was contained in the shaft rather than the ring. At full strength, they had both come in less than three minutes. Seto prefered to keep it on the lowest setting. Jou enjoyed deep double penetration and the lower setting extended how long he could enjoy it.

"Hmm. That's good," Jou leered. "But you said wide, so I was thinking this one." He opened another drawer and pulled out a sleeve that was the width of his palm. When worn it was rather like a thick condom, but looser on the wearer and it added almost 4cm to his width. They used it two ways, depending on their mood - with lubricant inside to pleasure the wearer, or with lubricant outside to indulge Katsuya's love of size.

"I had nearly forgotten that one. Just the thing to prevent overfeeding."

"But I wanna be 'overfed'," the blond snickered.

"Not you, the plant."

"Oh, well in that case..." Jou leaned forward and kissed Seto deeply. "First time I ever wanted to take a test."

Honda and Jou nearly choked on their beers as Yugi turned bright red.

"I'm not the girl!" He glanced at the rest of the bar's patrons behind him, then continued at a more moderate volume. "Yami and I switch roles. Stop acting like sixth graders! You're just trying to embarrass me, but it won't work."

They sat at the table in the far corner. It was always the three of them at this bar. Their partners prefered 'classier' places. This was the kind of low end dive that Honda and Jou hung out in before they were supposed to. The kind where the barkeep might let a kid have half a leftover beer if he knew how to keep his mouth shut.

They always met on paydays. The 15th and the 30th - their standing 'date'.

"Of course not, honey," Honda chortled, "that's why you're about to pop a blood vessel!"

"I'm embarrassed by you two goofs, not by my love for Atemu." Yugi was still a bit pink. "Although, we don't have to discuss my sex life in public."

"Hey, I'll talk!" Honda finished his beer and belched. "Top. Only."

"Wow, spoken like a true man," Jou snickered.

"Sadly." Yugi fanned the air.

"Sides, I know you tried it - and liked it."

"You don't know -"

"Hiratani, seventh grade."

Honda stopped, mouth open. Then he turned bright red and Yugi laughed uproariously.

"The truth comes out, eh?"

"Tani was a total perv, so that's how you got initiated into the gang - drop your shorts and bend over. Mr. Manly over here actually blew his wad like that!" Jou snapped his fingers.

"You blew faster!" Honda retorted. "Hell, you blew twice!"

"I had to watch Tani bone you!" Jou laughed. "And besides, I like bottom."

"You do?" Yugi gave his friend a playful swat on the shoulder. "Then why do you always tease me?"

"Cause you're such a girl about it!"

"Yeah," Honda flagged the waiter down for another round. "I hate to tell you this, Yugi, but the difference is that Jou's a guy getting boned. You, my friend, are a trap."

"You guys are swine, you know that right?"

"Dude, seriously, you'da been the most popular girl in school, if you'da worn a dress."

"Why do I even know you two?"

"Hey, babe! How's the trip?"

"Boring, but productive. My speech went well, and I think I may have a new deal with Mattel."

"That sounds cool."

"The toys will be cool, the games will be cool. The contract negotiation will be epicly not cool."

"Aw, poor baby. You gotta be bored in LA while you make a bazillion dollars."

"I am not asking for sympathy, I am stating a fact. Now hush. I called for a purpose. I need you to go to my office tomorrow and feed Jouji."

"Feed who?"

"My plant, Jouji."

"Your... Wait, you don't mean the wack-off bush!"

"It's a Venus Anemone. I have a plant patent. It is officially recognized as a Clathrus Phallus Enthemonae. The Dragon's Fire Anemone."

"Oh, you have gotta be shittin' me!" Jou laughed. "I had no idea how many gardeners are perverts!"

"Oh, I assure you, there were more than a few raised eyebrows when I presented the data as a new species. And no, it is not being raised anywhere for mass production. It has some unusual chemistry that is still under study."

"So this thing's at your office?" Jou snickered. "Doesn't feeding it count as sexual harassment?"

"At my corporate office, yes. However, Jouji is located in my office at the university. Where everyone is aware of its unique needs."

"Ah."

"Ordinarily, the interns assist in feeding it. I rarely need to be involved."

"You just want to 'cause you're an over-sexed perv?"

"As they say, takes one to know one," Seto teased. "My problem today is that Spring break started and none of the interns are available. Jouji can go a day or two without nutrient, but no one will be in the lab for a week, and -"

"- and you're going to Dallas next, right?"

"Right. I won't be home for a month."

"Hate these trips."

"I know. I'm beginning to hate them too. I never had a reason to before you."

Jou was silent for a moment.

"Jou?" Seto asked. "Did the call drop?"

"No, I'm here. I just hate it when you say shit like that and I can't hug you."

"Stop being sentimental. I have a reputation to uphold."

"Yeah, well, you know what I think of that. Damn, I miss you!"

"Good. My poor plant can probably use the extra attention."

"Yeah, I guess it'll take the pressure off the one in the bedroom. Hey, how can I tell if it's over fed?"

"The leaves will turn brown and your palms will grow hair," Seto quipped. "Be sure to replenish the batteries and lubricants if you use them all."

"I had to replace it in the first place - you took it all with you!" His lover complained. "Jou 'ji', huh?"

"I did not select the name." Jou could almost hear Seto's smile. "But I didn't argue against it either."

"Sir? Where are you going? The west building is closed." The security guard looked at the log Jou had just signed. "You're here to see Kaiba Seto-sensei? His office is upstairs; 6-C32."

"Isn't it in the bio studies area?"

"I know he's got a project with them, but his office is in Information Tech. I had to take him for Programing Languages. Believe me, I know exactly where Kaiba-sensei's office is. Take that elevator to the sixth floor and turn left."

Jou followed the directions. On the sixth floor, down corridor C, he found a door labeled 'Kaiba Seto, Professor, Information Technology and Systems'. Jou checked the email Seto sent, and punched the number into the code lock on the wall. The door opened, but the lock stayed red.

"I guess unexpected visitors could be awkward in here," he chuckled to himself.

There was a note someone apparently slid under the door.

Sensei, we took Jouichi to the dorm, along with a copy of the feeding schedule. Sorry about Jouji but no one has your office code. See you next semester. Yamamoto Kenshi.

Jou glanced at the date on the note. The plant hadn't been fed since Seto left town.

"Hope it didn't die."

The office looked like a college professor's office - a desk, bookshelves, computer - with one area separated by a long, heavy black curtain. Behind it, Jou found a couch, a small cabinet and a plant.

A light flickered on as Jou entered the area. On the couch was a binder labeled 'feeding instructions and waiver forms'.

Jou raised his hand, "I promise I won't sue the university if I get caught jackin' off on a plant."

Then he took a good look at Jouji. The plant looked different. Not just that it was withered, as if it were drying out while he watched, but like a different plant.

"Oh, I guess Jou-ichi is the breed we have at home," he nodded to himself.

This flower was larger. Much larger. Probably more than a meter wide; the blossom resting on top of its container was about waist high. It had the same sea anemone tentacles in the center, but they got larger as they reached the outer edges. The very furthest looked more like spade-shaped leaves. Instead of looking bright and firm, this one looked grayish and droopy.

"Yeah, you need to be fed. I don't know how long Seto's gonna be able to keep you going. You need another meal choice." He undressed; with the one at home he could get pretty sweaty.

"Now. Where's that hole?" Jou leaned forward to study the center of the flower.

As he did, his hand touched one of the thicker tentacles near the edge. It burst, spraying Jou's face and hand with a sticky white liquid. "Aw! Crap! Plant jizz. Right in my damn mouth!" The taste was bland and he hoped it was non-toxic. There were no towels or even tissues in the room. Jou wiped his face on his arm and tried not to touch too many more of the exploding bits while he positioned himself.

It was tricky. The smaller plant had a stand he could adjust. This one didn't move. He didn't want to put his full weight on it, but there wasn't really a place to get a good grip. He did discover that only the far edge tentacles exploded and most of the others were solid enough that he could put some weight on them. They made his hand tingle.

Finally he felt balanced enough.

"I can't believe I'm gonna fuck a plant for that perv." He felt his cheeks burning even though he was alone.

But any hesitation fled as he entered the flower. The same moist, velvet thrill wrapped around his cock. It began the pulsing contractions almost immediately, tightening around him and firing pleasure up his nerves.

He groaned as his abdomen and thighs began tingling. The sensation slowly radiated out through his body.

Abruptly, the trap bit.

Jou screamed. It wasn't the severity of the pain - which wasn't as bad as the one time Seto did actually bite him - so much as the unexpectedness of it.

The entrance clamped around him like a cockring with thorns. But the sucking motion continued and quickly any discomfort was overcome by the bliss shooting up from his dick.

And the warm tingling all over his body.

Everywhere the tentacles touched was tingling. It felt good. Especially on his chest. His nipples were way too sensitive anyhow. Jou refused to admit how often Seto had come close to getting him off with those alone. The tingling warmth was making his nipples contract and that was only making his dick that much harder. It felt like the plant was sucking them too. A plant that sucks; what will that sexy perv think of next?

There was a familiar sound in the distance. Jou opened his eyes. A phone? His phone. He couldn't have moved to answer it even if he'd wanted to. Too many vines holding him in place.

Vines?

Jou laughed. He was totally wasted. He couldn't remember what he'd taken to get so high, but he'd have to find out. Between his nipples, his ass, and his cock, he couldn't think of a time when he'd felt so good. He was coming again.

Yes, again. Actually, it felt more like he was coming still. Even since the thing in his ass began moving... No, the second thing - the third? The many. The many dick shaped things moving in his ass. He couldn't quite remember the moment he was actually penetrated, only that it was wide and moved like a snake. Twisting, thrusting, hot. His prostate was being assaulted by something hot and tingly. Jou felt like cum was pouring out of his body as fast as he could produce it.