"Big bro, you gotta do something about this."
"Thank you for such enlightening insight," Kaiba sniped. "I had not considered taking action."
"Sarcasm. How mature."
"Mokuba, we are testing the third version of a treatment to suppress the hormones in question. Jounouchi did not come here to start a - a public Event! He wanted to see me. How can I fault him for wanting to see me?"
"Big bro -" Mokuba sighed. "I'm not faulting him for being in love with you. I'm really happy you guys are together. But Security gave me the tape of what happened in the conference room yesterday after you left, and legally, I'm too young to view it."
Kaiba pinched the bridge of his nose. "Are they suing?"
"Who?"
"The senior VPs. Are any of them charging sexual harassment?"
"You haven't seen the tape, have you?" Mokuba snickered. "No, it was all pretty consensual. I told Security to burn any other copies of it. I emailed the people involved and informed them that there was no digital recording of the meeting, and that, if they had any questions they should come to me directly. No one's dropped by. I did see Ramirez of Accounting and Hitomi of Engineering having lunch today. First time I've ever seen the Frost Witch smile."
"I need to speak to all of them."
"Yes. But, you need to tell Jou he can't come here anymore."
"He works in the building; how can I tell him not to come here?"
"Nii-sama, he was in the room less than five minutes and look what happened!"
"He was aroused."
"Yeah, and by the time he left, so was everyone else - including you. What if a client had been there? What if he had been down at the preschool? How would that go down - Jou, four women, and all the kids as witnesses. The parents would love that."
"Damn."
"Yeah."
"Inform the preschool that Jounouchi is on long term leave, and tell Security that he is banned from the property. I'm going home to tell Katsuya personally."
"Ok. I'll handle the office. You should probably take some time off, too. I know this isn't easy for you."
"I'm fine."
Mokuba looked like he wanted to disagree, but instead he frowned and looked away. "Yes, Nii-sama. I'll go talk to Security now."
"Flu."
"In the Spring?" Anzu arched an eyebrow. "For two months?"
Jou shrugged. "Kicked my ass. Poor Kaiba wound up cleanin' my mess from both ends."
"Thank you so much for that image!" she groaned. "So gross!" She turned to the other man, "But it's so rare that you join us, Kaiba-kun. Can I get you anything?"
"Just ignore me," Seto dismissed. "I'm only here because he doesn't know how prescriptions work or when it's time to go home."
Anzu laughed. "He never has! The guys are in the den, pizza's on it's way, and Honda brought Seven Fists of Fire parts 1, 2 and 3 for tonight's viewing pleasure."
In the den, Yugi and Otogi were setting up a folding table while Honda fought with an old VHS player.
"Who's ready to lose?" Jou taunted.
"Jou!" Yugi dropped his end of the table and hugged his friend. "Should you be here?"
"Kaiba." Otogi nodded in greeting. "If he's contagious, you can take him right the hell home."
"I'm fine!" Jou assured the room with a laugh. "But what's a guy gotta do to get some food around here?" He shouted toward the kitchen.
"You could go make it yourself." Yami entered with sodas and cups. "Kaiba, welcome. Playing?"
"Babysitting."
Eventually, there was food, and a casual game of mahjong, and a working movie. Even Seto relaxed enough to play a few rounds.
At least until his phone rang. He started to switch it off, but stopped when he saw the number.
"Problem, babe?" Jou asked from the couch.
"It's New York. Come play my tiles. I have to take this." He answered the call as he left the room.
An hour or so later, he was still on the call.
"Are you ok, Jou?" Anzu paused on her way back from the kitchen. "You look a bit flush."
"Nah, I'm cool." He looked at her, confused. "Question. Have your tits always been that big?"
"Jou!" Anzu took a step back, stunned, as Honda and Yugi burst into guffaws.
"No, seriously." Jou shrugged. "I wasn't lookin' in high school. You gotta nice rack."
"They are quite alluring," Yami agreed. "In my court, a woman like you would display such beauty."
"Did you two hit your heads?" Anzu scolded. "These are Mai's and you can't touch."
"Nobody said touch," Yugi pointed out. "We just want to look at them."
"Here. I'll show mine first." Otogi took off his shirt to display a taut chest topped with large areolas.
"God, those things are sexy!" Honda breathed. "Jou, are you wearing some kind of cologne? It reeks, dude!"
"Man, fuck you!" Jou snarled.
"Don't step up; I can still drop you like a bad habit!" Honda stood up.
"Guys!" Yugi got between them. "You aren't really trying to fight, are you?" He sniffed. "Uh, actually...uh, Jou?" The diminutive man moved all but into Jou's armpit. "Yeah, Honda's right...your scent is...really...strong."
Jou looked down at his friend and grinned. "That's kinda hot, Yug."
"I don't know what you're complaining about, Honda-kun," a topless Anzu was sniffing Jou's shoulder. "He smells fine to me."
"Man!" Honda moved closer and began fondling Anzu's breasts. "You are gonna be awesome when you get knocked up. You should totally let us breed you just for that."
"If you bred me, would my tits get bigger?" Yugi cooed.
"Why don't we breed you both and compare." Otogi was naked and helping Yami undress.
"That took far longer than I intended," Seto said as he opened the door. "Jou, did you take your medication -"
Anzu was being bounced happily between Yami and Honda on the table. Yugi was whimpering as Jou and Otogi double penetrated him on the couch.
"Oh...hell!" Seto could already feel himself responding to the abundance of pheromones drenching the room. Not that he needed much coaxing - a full on orgy was one of his fondest fantasies.
They were going to have to do something. One skipped dose resulted in a lesbian fucking five gay men. Six gay men, he corrected himself. By morning, everyone in the room will likely do everyone else. And if Seto couldn't focus on a way to get a pill into Katsuya, the blonde stallion would do the room twice over.
A warm tremor passed through Seto as Yugi announced his orgasm at the top of his lungs.
"C'mere, babe," Jou called out.
Seto left the prescription on the table and hoped that someone got Jou to take it.
Two months later, Jou met Mai for lunch. Anyone looking at them could tell this wasn't a friendly meeting.
"It was my fault, Mai." Jou dropped down to his knees and palms. "I pretty much ruffied her."
"Bullshit!" Mai huffed and shoved away the salad she wasn't eating. "And get up. You look like a jackass." She glared at the food court around them.
"Forgive Anzu at least."
"My wife got pregnant!" Mai yelled. "How am I supposed to forgive that?"
"So she gets raped, and you blame her for it?" Jou shot back.
"Oh please! She's wanted you for years. If you 'raped' her, it was role play." Mai wiped her face quickly with a napkin. "Besides. If any of that was true, why didn't she tell me herself? And why did she just move in with you guys!?"
Jou sighed heavily and glanced around. People in the food court were more interested in their own lives. "Remember about a month or so back, I had the flu?"
"So what?"
"I didn't have the flu. I got something else. A chemical imbalance. Sometimes my pheromones get freaky and people around me get kinda wild. It'd be cool if I had any control over what I was doing when it happened." Jou's wrist alarm beeped, and he pulled out the pills. "We were doing every 6 hours, but after the thing with the...uh...with Anzu, we dropped it to every 5."
Mai grabbed his wrist. "Wait. You are telling me that you took a pill and that's why Anzu let you fuck her?" She laughed derisively. "You are so full of shit!"
"No, I'm telling you that I didn't take a pill, and then I forced myself on your girl." Mai took the pill bottle. "Give me those back!"
"How long does it take? How long before you become a raging beast?"
"No, Mai, we're not doin' this. Give me those back."
"You and Zu just wanted to hit it, and you got caught because she was throwing up and not because of the flu. And now your boy toy is sick of having the bitch around, so you think you can tell me some half-assed bullshit and I'll take the cheating whore back?"
"Wow. You got some serious anger issues."
"YOU KNOCKED UP MY WIFE!"
"I'm sorry!"
"Not good enough!" Mai sniffed and couldn't hide her tears any longer. "Zu was everything to me - I trusted her. You took that. Fuck yeah, I'm angry!"
"So you think if I fuck you, it will bring that trust back?"
"No, dumbass! I think when I don't swoon into your arms, you'll stop lying, and she'll take some damn responsibility for her own actions."
Jou swore silently. Seto was wrong; they should have told the group everything that first night - before the pizza, the movie, and the all night orgy. Keeping it 'quiet' was just pulling more and more people in. "It's not the same with you and me, Mai. We used to hit it hard."
"Why do you think I only fuck girls now?" She smiled coldly. "Put up or shut up."
"Shit," Jou sighed. "You have no idea how fucked up this can get." He looked at his watch, and noticed that the couple walking past him were both eyeing him. "Ok, that's not good. Ok. Either give me the pills now, or we go to my place."
"Yeah, right!" She snorted. "Hotel around the corner."
Jou growled. "You wanna do this?" He turned his arm and freed it from Mai's grip. Before she could react, he grabbed her arm hard enough for her to wince. "We do this my way. Come on."
He all but dragged her from the mall food court to the parking lot elevator, Mai bitching the entire way. People stared at them but Jou ignored the attention.
Just like high school. Mai would bait him, and he'd bite. She would push all his aggressive macho buttons, and they'd wind up boning on the floor of an unused classroom.
She probably didn't intend to, but she was doing the same thing now. Only the emotional surge of aggression and testosterone was overwhelming the drugs so he was losing the ability to think rationally. Even if he took his dose now, he'd likely need two. Seto never said anything about taking a double dose. It was probably ok.
But he didn't want to take it. Letting his inner Jouji out was fun. Exhausting but fun. It would sure as hell teach Mai to keep her mouth shut.
"Let me GO!" Mai snatched her arm away from Jou. "I can't go anywhere in the elevator."
"Yeah, I guess." Jou focused on the floors lighting up. No fooling around in the car. Should have just enough time to get to the house before the pheromones really kick in. Do not think about Mai bent over doggie style.
When the doors opened, Jou yanked Mai toward his car. Usually, he parked on the far side of the lot so he didn't feel guilty about taking two spaces. Thank God he'd been running late today. Way too much privacy over there.
He unlocked the Supra and shoved the woman toward it. "Get in."
"What the hell is wrong with you!"
Jou laughed harshly. "I'm about midway to the 'raging beast'. Get in if you have the balls to go all the way."
Mai got in, slammed the door shut, loudly fastened her seatbelt, and looked at Jou smugly.
"I didn't want to tell you, because I didn't believe it would affect you." Seto said with some exasperation. After Seto came home to find Jou, Mai, and Anzu loudly engaged in the living room, it became clear that they would have to tell Jou's friends something. "However, I had no idea how sexually repressed you actually were."
"Repressed!" Honda snapped.
"Kaiba, tread carefully," Yami warned.
"Honestly," Seto huffed. "I truly thought you had worked through your attractions to each other years ago. Had I known you all were a festering cauldron of sexual frustration, I wouldn't have allowed Jounouchi within a thousand feet of you."
"Kaiba!" Jou snapped. "Take it easy. Normal people don't jump their friends."
"Nonsense! Otogi and I -"
"Normal as in 'common', Seto-dono." Otogi chuckled. "Our circle does things differently." He looked at the rest of the group. "We tend to work out allegiances more personally. Commoners have actual 'friends'. Believe me, you'd be appalled at some of the things I've done quid-quo-pro."
"You should have told us, Kaiba-kun." Yugi smiled gently. "We can't help, if we don't know."
"How exactly could you have helped?"
"Well for one, one of us might have gotten to the suppressant faster, if we'd known about it," Otogi pointed out.
"And we could have sent Anzu home," Honda added.
"Done is done." Yami gestured for calm. "We know now, and we know how serious the issue is. The question is, how do we proceed."
"Not a question." Jou shrugged. "Until this is under control, I stay home. Facebook works."
"Jou!" Yugi shook his head. "Solitary confinement is not a solution - and being alone all the time would kill you. We just need to be more careful."
Seto cleared his throat. "Unfortunately for some of us, there is no 'more careful'."
"What does that mean?" Yami asked.
"It means that the more you're attracted to Blondie, the faster you go down under him," Mai explained wryly.
"Oh," Yugi said, turning bright red.
"I'm not attracted to him at all," Honda pointed out.
"As I understand the events before I returned, you and Jounouchi nearly came to blows. Is that correct?" Seto asked.
"Yeah."
"People tend to either be attracted or repelled by the pheromones. Attraction is what most of you experienced. The opposite is heightened aggression. And individuals with higher levels of testosterone will have more violent expressions. We are all probably quite lucky that your attraction to Mazaki is greater than your rivalry with Jounouchi. My interns broke bones."
"So what are you saying? That we can't be friends anymore?" Anzu sounded distraught. "We'll either get in a fight or get...other things..." Tears formed in her eyes. "How do we just go back to normal?" Mai put her arm around her wife's shoulder and held her close.
"I don't know," Seto admitted quietly. The words seemed to cause him physical pain.
In the ensuing silence, two alarms sounded. Seto looked at his phone as Jou checked his watch. Seto handed Jou a cup of water as Jou got his pill.
"So you can control it," Otogi observed.
"Kinda," Jou admitted. "But it's tricky. On a good day, I pop the pills, no issues. But if I'm stressed - like at lunch, Mai - or pissed or anything," he shook the bottle, "these might as well be candy. He made me start doing yoga and meditating," Jou chuckled.
"Two of the oldest and most effective methods of biofeedback," Seto countered. "And something we can do together."
"Yeah, I know." Jou gave the group a lopsided grin. "I kinda got banned from the KaibaCorp building so I can't work or hang out there anymore."
"You banned him from your office?" Honda tsked. "Dick move, Kaiba."
"I had to. In the first place, there is too great a risk that he would inadvertently sexually harass the staff." Seto allowed a small fond smile. "And in the second place, I couldn't get any work done with him sexually harassing me. Beast."
"You was asking for it."
"Entirely beside the point."
"You two are flirting?" Mai looked incredulous. "Now? Seriously?"
"Frankly, it's the only thing that keeps us both sane."
"Well good." Yugi nodded. "Coping skills are good for both of you. For all of us." He looked thoughtful. "It sounds like a lot of the things they told me to do when I was being treated for depression would work here too."
The whole group looked at the typically cheerful man in shock.
"Depression?" Anzu finally repeated. "Yugi - Yugi, when did you have -"
"Middle school and high school. Before I solved the puzzle. After that, I had other things making me crazy." He smiled at Yami.
"Why didn't you tell us, Yugi?" Honda asked.
"Can't help if we don't know, right?" Jou added.
"It doesn't matter now. That's well in the past." Yugi brushed the issue aside. "We should focus now on helping Jou and Seto get through this."
"There is nothing you all need to do," Seto assured them. "Jou and I -"
"Not how 'we' works, dude," Jou chuckled. "We're all in this - you, me, Anzu, Mai. Friends come with the package."
"Which leads me to ask." Otogi gestured at the women. "Why do they get to move in and we don't?"
"They are long-term guests," Seto acknowledged. "Until Anzu's child is born. I want to see that she receives the finest prenatal care possible."
"And?" Otogi seemed skeptical.
"And," Jou jumped in when it became apparent that Seto would not, "if the kid's mine, he wants to make sure this imbalance doesn't get passed down."
"And if the baby is one of ours?" Honda asked. "What then?"
Seto shrugged. "None of my concern. The child will be healthy, the parents may take it and do as they wish. My only concern is if the child is mine." He smiled. "Ours. I'd be obligated to marry Katsuya if we are going to raise the Kaiba heir together."
There was a brief pause before Jou sprang into Seto's unexpecting arms. "Why do you say shit like that when I can't jump you!?" He complained between kisses.
"Not the time or place, darling." Seto's protests were as weak as his attempts to push his intended away. "You are making a scene."
"And the rest of us don't need to see it," Yami teased.
"Kujaku. A word."
Mai stopped at the top of the stairs. She did not want a word with Kaiba. After last night, she didn't think she could even look at him.
The whole gang? She couldn't even claim rape. She knew what was happening. She could have left. She hated knowing that she stayed because she wanted to.
Anzu understood, of course. Anzu was forgiving, even a bit amused. It didn't affect their relationship, and it wasn't as if her pregnant wife was in a position to throw stones.
But Mai wasn't the forgiving type. Especially when she herself was at fault. Giving in to Jou, well, maybe there was a teeny tiny bit of attraction left between them.
But with Kaiba? The ass that got her banned from dueling? The idiot that created the plant or potion or whatever that made Jou so horny he fucked a married woman? It didn't matter what kind of female viagra they were using, sleeping with Kaiba was just plain wrong. Utterly. Horribly. Wrong.
But...
It was his house. He was paying for everything, from Anzu's medicals at the top rated ObGyn in the country to a truly tripped out nursery he was already drafting. He hadn't even confirmed who the father was, but he was treating Anzu - and Mai - like family.
She sighed, straightened her shoulders, and faced him. "Your house, your words."
He nodded slightly. "About last night. It was...unintentional."
"Same."
"However, there is a possibility that such an Event could occur again." He looked just slightly past her, as if he were reluctant to meet her eyes.
Mai smirked. Anzu was family. Anzu's wife was excess baggage. "And you'd like me to move out to avoid that, huh?"
Kaiba did look at her then. "You are free to leave, should you choose. I allowed you to stay here for Mazaki's benefit. But if you do not wish to be with her -"
"I do." Mai cut him off with the English words. "I don't want to be here," she said reverting back to her native tongue, "but I do want to be with her." Those vows made Mai agree to things she would never have considered before. 'The things you do for love,' she thought.
Kaiba seemed to understand. "If you intend to stay, I suggest you speak with your doctor. Prophylactics are reliable when they are used reliably, and under the circumstances, we -"
"Whoa, wait, what?! You want me to get birth control?"
"After last night, I would think it would be obvious that the risk of -"
"Now look here you pushy, arrogant, dragon-wannbe! Don't think you can go telling me what I should put in my body! All that hormone-chemical-shit is poison!"
"Lower your voice!" Kaiba snapped. "If you are planning to reside in Kaiba Manor, then behave with some dignity. Not like some shrewish harpy."
"You know, it's not like Anzu wants this anymore than I do. We can just abort it, and then she and I can both move out!" Mai turned and started down the stairs again.
"You can't!" Kaiba roared. "Fatherhood is very important." He recovered himself. "To Jounouchi. We are willing to take full custody of any child born because of this...situation."
"Yeah, but I don't want to carry your kid!"
Kaiba smirked slightly. "I wouldn't think harpies and dragons could crossbreed."
"Oh, you are clever today!"
"That was intended to be levity. My suggestion regarding birth control was entirely due to the knowledge that you would not wish to procreate - even accidentally - with me."
"Not any more than you want to 'procreate' with me."
Kaiba gave her an odd look. "Frankly, you do share many features with Jounouchi. Your child would bear a fair resemblance to him."
"So what, are you saying that you want me to get pregnant, too?"
"Of course not! One unwed pregnancy will be hard enough to explain to the stockholders. Two simultaneous pregnancies out of wedlock will send my Mattel deal up in flames. I am merely pointing out that there is a possibility, should we have another, uncontrolled Event, you could be at risk. I am quite willing to support you should you need it, but I am led to understand that you would prefer to avoid the condition."
He was actually a bit flustered. Kaiba was almost cute when he was flustered. And in some ways, he did look kind of like Anzu. Which was not a bad thing. He wasn't as hot as Jou, but for a guy, Kaiba didn't look half bad.
"Ok. I'll talk to my doc about an IUD or something."
"Thank you."
"But you gotta do something for me."
He frowned. "And that is?"
"Lighten up."
"What does that... Oh. Katsuya did say something similar once. Very well. I will try to be less 'dragon'."
"No dragons, no harpies. Deal?"
"Deal." He nodded. "Kuja-" He stopped. "I suppose that would include being less formal, yes? Mai?"
"Yeah, Seto. I think it would."
"Hey, big bro, can I -" Mokuba stopped short at the library door and turned around. "JEEZ! Can't you guys lock the door or something!"
Summer had turned to Fall in the Kaiba household, and while most of the insane orgies were rare, Mokuba and the staff were still walking in on Seto and Jou. Daily.
"Oh - oh god!" Seto panted. "Kat-chan! St-stop! Moku-mokuba..."
"I'll do him next, babe," Jou purred.
"OK! Done!" Mokuba shouted. "Going to the movies. Later!" He slammed the door shut - pausing just long enough to lock it.
Jou laughed deeply. "Aww. I wanted a Kaiba sandwich."
"Depraved," Seto groaned.
"Tell me you've never thought about it."
"...brother..."
"Yeah, but you're a perv."
"...no...not..." Seto inhaled sharply. "Stop teasing, damn it! Let me come or your next prescription will chemically castrate you!"
Jou snickered, then broke into a full-on laugh.
He pulled out of a frustrated Seto and turned the man around. "I love you when you're frustrated," he said with a kiss.
"I'm beginning to hate you," Seto groused.
"So I should stop?"
"Don't you dare!" Seto pulled Jou close and kissed him deeply. "Our dinner guests will be here any minute now and we need to get this out of our systems before then."
"No other reason?"
"Oh! Honestly! As irritating as you were in high school, this is a thousand times worse!" Seto pushed and Jou let himself be rolled on his back. "I crave you the way opium addicts chase dragons. Now. Top or be topped."
Jou smiled. "Be topped," he said, putting his hands behind his head. "'Bout time you did some of the heavy lifting."