"I remind you that you are not obligated to participate." Kaiba passed out brochures as a butler served wine. "My staff, you will note, is participating as a condition of employment."

"Is that even legal?" Honda frowned as he looked at the tri-fold document.

"It is much the same as requiring they have certain vaccinations. This is Jounouchi's residence, therefore, the staff must make accommodations for him."

"I thought you said Anzu and Mai weren't taking this new thing," Yugi pointed out. "Aren't they living here?"

"Yes. However, they are special cases. First of all, we don't know if or how any treatment would affect the fetuses -"

"Babies," Yugi corrected. "Unborn babies."

"Yes. I said -"

"Fetus is medically correct and all, but it makes them sound like science projects." Yugi looked at Anzu and Mai, and smiled. "They aren't science projects. They are our friends, and they are having our babies." He looked back at Kaiba. "You have trouble, sometimes, remembering what's important. Using the right words will help."

Kaiba seemed not to respond for a moment, as if he hadn't heard anything the man had said.

"Seto," Jou sat up, ready to move if he needed to stop bloodshed. "He just means that -"

Kaiba gestured him silent. "As I was saying, we have the babies to consider. The simpler issue is that they don't need it."

"Funny, I would have doubled their doses," Otogi quipped.

"Since the pregnancies began, we have seen a marked decrease in how susceptible the - the mothers are to Jounouchi's pheromones. We need to do a great deal more study, and our mothers are generously allowing more invasive testing than ordinarily done in these circumstances."

"Why?" Yami asked.

"It's the pregnancy itself," Anzu answered. "That's what makes us immune. I guess Jou's not interested in fat girls."

"Aw, come on!" Jou protested.

"Yeah," Mai joined the teasing. "Put on a couple pounds, and Jou treats you like furniture."

"I do NOT treat -"

"Katsuya, darling." Kaiba crossed the room and stroked Jou's face. "Anzu is teasing, and Mai is trying to irritate you. Either go do some deep breathing or take a supplement. Neither of us will get through this if you don't calm down."

"I'm calm." Jou took a breath. "I'm good."

"You are not. Roland, escort Jounouchi-sama to his den."

"Yes, Kaiba-sama. This way, sir."

Jou huffed and glared at his partner. Then he got up. "Be back in a minute, guys." He stalked out of the room, the butler close at his heels.

Kaiba turned to Yugi, who had moved to sit in Yami's lap. "Yami, there is a courtyard through those doors. A little fresh air may help clear his head."

"Yes." Yami cleared his throat and coaxed an affectionate Yugi to stand. "It may indeed."

"This is what I live with now." Kaiba sat heavily. "Katsuya and I are always on the edge, but occasionally someone will throw a match and light the fuse. Half the time, even I can't tell if my desire for him arose from internal or external stimulation." He sighed. "I can't even yell at the harpy; her emotional rollercoaster is what alerted us to the possibility of a pheromone vaccination."

"Why does he keep calling me that?" Mai cried. "Why is he so mean to me?"

"Oh, god," Anzu sighed. "I'd better take her up to our room. Honda-kun, Otogi-chan, he really is doing his best."

Honda and Otogi looked at each other, then at the clearly weary Kaiba. Honda shrugged.

Otogi coughed. "So. I hear that Marubeni Hiruzen was officially declared heir to the conglomerate. His father made the announcement last week."

"I'm sure my secretary has sent the appropriate gift."

"Really? Your secretary's amazing. Everyone else is wondering where Hiruzen and his girlfriend have run off to."

"Run off?" Honda sounded surprised. "Aren't the Marubeni another one of those super-rich, own-everything types?"

"Yes, and Hiruzen is the third son from, oh let me think, one of the branch families on his mother's -"

"Not a branch," Kaiba corrected. "He's the nephew of the Head, by a mistress. And he is engaged to the second daughter of Seiko. If you are going to gossip, do be accurate."

"I didn't say he ran off with his wife - you missed a lovely wedding reception - I said his girlfriend."

Kaiba looked up, almost interested. "After the announcement or before?"

"After the wedding and after the announcement."

"Well. That will give them all something to talk about." He sank again. "At least until Jou and I do something public and entertaining."

"No one cares about you two," Otogi scoffed. "What, Kaiba and his haifu were caught again? Yawn. Everyone's taking bets on when you'll finally get tired of being embarrassed and dump him, but I keep telling them you get off on the thrill."

"Is that supposed to be helping?"

Otogi shrugged. "Everyone's more interested in what KaibaChem is doing than in who Kaiba-sama is doing, so I guess so."

"Huh. Well. Thank you."

"Honda, you will have to fill us in," Yami said from the patio doors. "It is a rare event for Kaiba to show gratitude to anyone, to say the least Otogi." A sheepish Yugi slipped in and sat in the corner of the couch.

"Sorry." Honda tried not to grin. "I don't know what just happened, 'cause what I heard must have been a fever dream."

"I had no idea I was acquainted with so many comedians."

"You're such easy material," Honda wise-cracked.

"You are," Yami agreed. "And as much as I would enjoy 'roasting' you, I do want to understand this -" he picked up the brochure and read from the cover, "- Jouji Botanical Anti-hormonal Human Trial."

"Yes." Kaiba regained his composure. "Quite right. We five are a cross section of how Jounouchi's condition affects people, and as his closest friends, you are the ones most directly affected by it. Although he has not stated it explicitly, he - we - we would appreciate it if you did participate in the trial. Because the effects are so intimate, there are...emotional repercussions each time an...unknown 'element' is drawn into the issue. I realize that this represents a...fundamental change in the nature of your relationships, and I assure you that I would not involve you at all if there were any more reasonable option."

"Kaiba-kun, please." Yugi's voice was soft, but caught the room's attention regardless. "The love of my life was holding my hand and I still wanted...wanted to be held by someone else - by my best friend - so badly I could barely sit still. I love Jou, but I don't want that kind of relationship with anyone but Atemu. If this trial can help, even a little, I will do anything I can."

"Ditto," Honda said after an uncomfortable pause. "We don't do something, I'm gonna punch Jou. And the fact that I keep wanting to... Years ago, maybe, but I'm not that guy anymore. And I don't want to be. I'm in."

Otogi shrugged. "They're in, we're in. That's not even a question." He smirked. "Besides, I enjoy a good orgy occasionally."

"Thank you." Kaiba swallowed hard. "From both of us. Thank you." He cleared his throat. "This brochure is all the information we are required by law to tell you before starting a drug trial. But as you can see, there is very little here. I can tell you what we know."

He took a breath, then began with a low, almost detached voice. "Three months ago, Jounouchi had an encounter with an experimental plant I am growing in my office."

"Wait, what is an 'experimental plant'?" Honda asked.

"And what constitutes 'an encounter'?" Yami added.

Kaiba sighed. "The plant is a hybrid, a new species. It was designed for personal gratification. But there are some -"

"Whoa, whoa! 'Personal gratification'? What does that mean?"

"It means exactly what it sounds like!" Kaiba huffed. "The plant, Jouji - and yes, my lab assists named all of my botanical experiments after Jounouchi. Jouji is the largest, and Jounouchi was unaware that the plant produces a natural neurotoxin. In the few people who have touched Jouji, there have been some short-term behavior changes. Sexual behavior changes. Jounouchi had prolonged exposure causing what we now believe to be permanent neurochemical changes especially with regard to dopamine, serotonin, and testosterone levels. Estrogen production is greatly reduced; prolactin and oxytocin are -"

"More ¥1000 words." Jou came in a sat next to Kaiba. "Basically, I'm up for it damn near 24/7. No off switch. Everything makes me think of sex - like in high school, but seriously, e-ve-ry-thing! That refractory period, you know, when you physically can't get hard? Like, maybe two minutes. IF I'm on the drugs. Off 'em?" He shrugged. "I don't think I have one."

"Katsuya, you don't have to tell them -"

"The flip side is that I don't come easy. I get hard, I stay hard, but I can fuck for two, three hours and not bust the nut." Jou shouldered Kaiba. "You explain the chemical part."

Kaiba gasped in frustration, pinched the bridge of his nose, then sighed. "Fine. When the brain sends the signals for arousal, blood is sent to the appropriate places, and serotonin is increased. At some point, however, the buildup of endorphins overcomes the serotonin level and orgasm is achieved. The endorphins are released, the brain feels pleasure, and the remaining chemicals force the body to rest. Part of why many people feel the need to cuddle or sleep directly after orgasm. And also why some people think more clearly or have moments of creativity or inspiration." Kaiba looked at Jou, then looked away. "As far as we can tell, that process is short circuiting for Katsuya. The endorphins are not superseding the serotonin, and when they do release, the other sexual chemicals are not releasing with them. No release, no rest, no clarity."

The group took a moment to absorb the information as Jou kissed Kaiba's cheek. "That explanation's getting shorter."

"I'm getting used to giving it. It's as easy now as explaining how microchips work." He studied Jou's face. "Are you feeling better now?"

"I felt fine earlier. But I took a chill pill and I did some tai chi, so I think I can keep from jumping you for another five minutes."

"Five whole minutes? Really? Trying to set a record, are we?"

"So, what happened?" Yugi finally spoke up. "I mean how could a plant do something like this?"

"Sometimes you shouldn't swallow." Jou grinned.

"Huh?" Yugi looked confused as Otogi giggled, "but that's the best part!"

"We are not sure whether oral ingestion or skin absorption caused the most damage. But the changes appear to be permanent," Kaiba clarified.

"Wait, ok, I know I'm slow," Honda interrupted, "and it's not that all that doesn't sound like it sucks - 'cause it does - but I don't get why the rest of us react if his brain is messed up." Yugi glared at his friend and Honda seemed to realize that he sounded a bit insensitive. "I mean, well, sorry, dude."

"No worries." Jou waved it off. "I'd ask that one, too."

"We react because Jounouchi has what we want. Man, for all his posturing about higher intelligence, is still a biological species, with only one goal."

"To survive," Yami said. "To reproduce and carry the species into the next generation. As we were, so we ever will be."

"Yes. All living creatures struggle to eat and reproduce. Jouji recognized Jounouchi as a food source, -"

"The plant recognized Jou as food?" Otogi interrupted.

Jou snickered. "I'll fill in the details later, 'cause you guys will never stop laughing, but the short version is that the plant eats jizz, and I was there feedin' it while, my perv mad scientist boyfriend was out of town."

"The plant absorbs liquid protein as it's primary nutrition source." Kaiba explained before the group could get side tracked. "Human sperm is a viable, readily available option. What was unknown at the time, however, was that Jouji is somehow - either through chemical or pheromonal means, we are still researching that - able to identify viable food sources and its natural toxins work to generate as much of that food as possible. A byproduct of Jouji's toxin is being studied as a cure for infertility."

"But why does that affect us?"

"Jounouchi is now the most efficient sperm producer alive. His body advertises that in the form of pheromones. The rest of us smell them - unconsciously, of course - and respond to them whether we wish to or not. Judging solely by observation, Honda, you, sexually, are much like Jounouchi. You should consider Jouji a health risk even if it is ever ruled safe by the Ministry of Health. Your body may respond much the way Jounouchi's has, which is why you react to him as a rival. Otogi, you and Yami seem to be affected, attracted, but as much pulled in by the intensity of those around you. This seems to be more or less the 'standard' response. This trial is targeted at those like you. If this works properly, you should have no unusual response to Jounouchi regardless of his reproductive phase."

Kaiba looked at Yugi and shook his head. "Of all the things we share in common, I would never have guessed this one. We are both highly susceptible to pheromones in general; Katsuya's, in specific. As I recall, my associate Kazuki described them - for us, at least - as crack cocaine dipped in chocolate and topped with strawberries."

"That sounds accurate." Yami nodded.

"YAMI!" Yugi's face turned bright red. "It is not accurate. It's a complete over exaggeration! Besides, I'm not the only one who reacted. Just because I like chocolate and strawberries - a lot - is no reason to say I act like Jou is some kind of addictive, sweet -"

"Calm, my love. He is right. You become virtually mad with lust. But when you lust for Jounouchi, I lust for you." The Egyptian smiled warmly. "And frankly, it's adorable."

"Don't call me that!" Yugi whined. "I am NOT adorable."

Honda snickered. Kaiba coughed. Jou stroked lips thoughtfully.

"And I'm not effeminate," Otogi deadpanned.

Jounouchi burst into laughter, and the rest of the group followed suit. Even Yugi couldn't resist. The laughter - the release - was infectious and continued far longer than the joke deserved.

"Yug, man, you are fuckin' adorable!" Jou crossed the room and kissed his friend deeply. "You make adorable crazy hot."

"He's not hotter than Ryuji," Honda snapped, pulling his lover closer. "You're sexier than most girls."

"Katsuya," Kaiba stroked the blonde's back and pulled gently. "We're supposed to be talking."

"Yes, talking." Yami held Yugi from behind, allowing Jou to caress his friend without restriction. "Tell us how exactly these pheromones work."

"I think we should sit down." Kaiba struggled not to give in. "Perhaps outside."

"I think you should tell the man what he asked." Jou turned abruptly. "Honda, gimmie a hand. Hold Seto for me while I get those pants off him. That'll keep him still."

"Kat-chan!" Seto gasped.

"Now, now, love," Yami held Yugi firmly. "Maybe Ryuji will play with you while Jou is busy."

"Can I play with you too?" The dice master kissed both duelists in turn. "Before Jou gets fixed and sex becomes dirty again."

"I suspect it is always dirty if you're involved," Yami purred as he began stripping Yugi. "And Kaiba may be wrong about where we all fit on the susceptibility scale."

"Hmmm. I won't tell if you won't."

"Worthless!" Kaiba stormed into the lab and actually threw Katsuya's pill bottle at Kazuki. "He may as well have taken nothing!"

It missed him by mere centimeters, but the chemist didn't even notice the projectile as he continued to study his computer screen. "Did the subject's secondaries agree to participate?" He tapped at the keyboard.

"What choice do they have!?" Kaiba threw up his hands. "He doubled the dosage and my library still looked like Sodom within ten minutes of him entering the room. My household is in chaos! I've had to defer teaching this semester. Thank God KaibaCorp can run smoothly without me being in the office all the time!"

"Uh huh." Kazuki typed a bit more. "Ten minutes approximately or exactly?"

Kaiba huffed and tried to calm himself. "Approximately. We began talking about the trial, and I noticed Mutou was showing signs of arousal. Jounouchi became agitated, I suggested he leave the room and take that useless thing, and I sent the Mutous outside for some fresh air. The rest of us chatted, even joked. When the Mutous returned, everything remained nominal. We resumed the discussion regarding the trial. Jounouchi returned, the discussion became more technical, more detailed. Someone told another joke, and we all laughed, and suddenly my library became an AV studio."

"Trigger?"

"None."

"What about the laughter?" Kazuki paused his note taking. "Was it real, full-on, like, endorphin releasing laughter or just 'ha ha that's funny' laughter?"

Kaiba considered for a moment. "The conversation had gotten somewhat tense, and Mutou denied being cute." Kaiba smirked. "Which is beyond absurd."

"So he's cute?"

"He's the human equivalent of a bunny-kitten hybrid."

Kazuki nodded and began typing again. "Sounds like most people would say he's cute."

"Most people?"

"Oh, I hate animals. Dogs, cats, rabbits, all of them. I'm allergic; got hives so bad one time, I spent Golden Week in the hospital." He shrugged. "I like iguanas. So I'm thinking the laughter was the trigger event."

Kaiba turned on the spare lab workstation he'd been working at to assist the chemist. He began adding the latest 'event' to the log he was keeping. "Yes, I agree, on reflection. That combination of drugs does not address a sudden surge of endorphins." He looked up. "Anaphylactic shock!"

"An allergy to the kitbunny?" Kazuki nodded thoughtfully. "Could work. Come up with a liquid, inject it after extreme exposure. Like an EpiPen, only for sudden attack of pheromones instead of allergens. I'll send it to the pharm guys; see what they come up with." Kazuki stopped typing. He turned to actually face Kaiba.

Kaiba waited for more than a minute before he paused his own work. "That you have something to say, but haven't said it yet does not bode well."

"I'm not sure what my question is. I'm asexual, so I'm not sure if what I'm thinking is actually a thing."

"In human sexuality, everything is a thing," Kaiba snarked. "Ask. I've probably done it in the last month."

"Describe what it feels like to want to kiss someone."

Kaiba stopped typing altogether and faced his associate slowly. "To want to kiss? I'm not sure I can. It's...more mental than physical. Although, sometimes I imagine I can feel the warmth of his skin under my lips. But I know it's not real and I'd like it to be. The more you desire the physical experience, the stronger the mental impression compels you. It becomes something of a vicious cycle. Surely you've desired someone during your life."

"Not really. I've had erections, but other people are a turn-off."

"What about that Russian woman in microbiology?"

"Svetlana? She's got a perfectly balanced brain. She participated in a study last year, and I got to really delve into her chemistry. Stunning!"

"She also has rather stunning physical features. Even I would have to consider it, if offered."

"I thought you were a guys-only gay."

"She's an impressive woman." Kaiba tilted his head. "Weren't you upset that you missed the opportunity to see her nude?"

"I was. I thought maybe I could try something physical with her. She sent me a picture." He frowned, shaking his head in disgust. "So anyway, I've never been interested in touching other people - men or women."

"Is this about you, or about me?"

"Kind of about both. I'm trying to understand why you can't just not have the sex. For me, personally, it's like going on a diet and just not eating cake anymore."

"Yes, well, celibacy is not an option for me."

Kazuki nodded. "I can see that. So I'm trying to get why, because maybe part of the solution is in the why instead of the how."

"Ah. Yes. That is a different way to consider the problem."

"I think I want to kiss you," Kazuki said abruptly.

Kaiba blinked, hesitated, then hesitated again. "I think I don't know how to respond to that."

"I wasn't sure what it was at first," Kazuki went on. "It's actually very annoying. But then it occurred to me. What if the subject isn't the first subject?"

"What?"

Kazuki leaned forward. "What if someone else was infected by Jouji first? What if you have been altered too?"

"I don't see how. I've never touched Jouji."

"Never? Come on! You breed it - you had to touch it at some point."

"Never with bare skin," Kaiba corrected. "When I was first creating the strain that would become Jouichi, the seeds had a resin. It was extremely sticky and difficult to remove -"

"See?"

"- but harmless. No toxic responses, no rashes or other symptoms. But I began wearing gloves at all times while working with the plants then, because it is bad form to meet with clients over million dollar contracts while covered in plant goo. Every semester, there were two or three students who would forget their gloves and touch the seedlings and that's how we learned of the initial, basic toxins. About the rashes. It was so recurrent, in fact, that's where Jouji's common name comes from - the Kaiba dragon and the rash that burns like fire. But I've never had one myself."

"Uh-huh. How long did it take to remove the resin?"

"Nothing removed it. It had to wear off, and it took roughly a week. I'm just lucky that the Prime Minister is a gardener. I wouldn't have felt comfortable shaking hands if I'd had to meet with an American or a Brit."

"And you couldn't have been exposed to some of the toxins then."

"There was no rash, no indication of toxic…." Kaiba began to seriously consider the idea. "...but if it were non-toxic at that level…."

"Or if the amount absorbed was small enough," Kazuki continued the thought, "or slow enough. You could have in effect received an inoculation against the more visible symptoms…."

"While still slowly, over time, absorbing the same chemical changes. Truthfully, even if I have never touched the plant itself, it is unlikely that I have avoided every secondary contact from students, assistants, slides, who knows what other sources. If I do not develop the exterior symptoms, how else would we know if I carried the imbalance?"

"If someone else responded to you the way they respond to the subject."

"As you appear to be now."

"I can't think of anything more disgusting, but I still think I want to kiss you."

"How did you feel before I arrived today?"

Kazuki shrugged. "Haven't thought about you since you left the day before yesterday."

"And now?"

"I can't focus on anything else."

"I see." Kaiba shut down what he was working on. "I'm going to my office. I will touch Jouji, see if a rash develops. I will also schedule an MRI."

"I'll put in an order for you to have a blood draw, too. We only looked at you as a secondary. I want to run the full battery of tests on you. And we should run one on everyone else who has worked on Jouji's development."

"Agreed." Kaiba stopped at the door. "Do you want -"

"No!" Kazuki shuddered. "After this is over, I do not want to have that image floating around in my head. If this is you, the trial drug will make it go away."

"And if it's not? If it's you and you have simply fallen under my spell?" Kazuki mimed shooting himself in the head. Kaiba shrugged. "Your loss. I'll let you know what happens in the office."

"In other words, we now have scientific proof that you are a twisted pervert." Katsuya rubbed his cheek against Seto's chest. "Am I supposed to be shocked or something?"

"You are taking this far too calmly." Seto stroked his lover's hair gently. "This only means the issue has been much more complicated than we'd previously thought."

"Not to me."

"No?" Katsuya shook his head. "So then, what does this mean to you?"

The blond looked up. "It means that it's your fault I always wanna screw, 'cause you're a sex fiend."

"You really are deliberately avoiding how serious this matter is."

"I really am focusing on what's important and good. I love you, I want to fuck you. You love me, you want to fuck me. Done. Everything else, we can find a way to fix. But it took us years to get past the bullshit and accept each other. I don't want to lose that."

Seto tried not to blush. "You won't. You can't. I'm far too possessive. Once you became mine, nothing on Earth could take you from me." Seto kissed him softly.

Katsuya frowned. "You're possessive and I'm the jealous type. And we both have extra testosterone. How come the orgies? I mean, shouldn't we be tearing the limbs off anyone else?"

"Ordinarily yes." Seto nodded. "I looked into it after the second group Event. If you - if we were programmed by human hormones, the pheromones would likely prompt a more aggressive, less open response. But plant hormones have a less aggressive, more harmonious effect. The goal is to produce food. The more suppliers, the greater supply. We attract men. We are Jouji's version of a never ending buffet."

"You made a plant that has a bukkake fetish," Katsuya snickered. "That is so sick."

"You have a bukkake fetish," Seto countered. "I've seen what's on your hard drive."