I cannot apologize enough, you guys! I try to update no less than once a month, but sometimes life gets in the way and things get delayed. Here's an update, hoping that you guys won't scold me too much. Also, if you'll notice, the lyrics for the titles shift between songs depending on the shift in the story. This title is from a third song that will signal the new shift in the story.
Disclaimer: I Own Nothing
Hermione had heard it all from the older witch before. The woman loved her son, that much was obvious, and she would clearly do anything to see him happy. Hermione just wished that she could get it through her head that Hermione was not going to be able to change him. They were not going to get married and give this woman the grandchildren she so desperately wanted. Hermione spun around.
"That's enough. I-."
Hermione cut herself off with a gasp as she looked at Narcissa with wide eyes. Draco's mother had a look of pure determination upon her face as she stared Hermione down. Hermione felt numb at first, the shock of what had just happened frightening her more than the act itself. Then, of course, the shock wore off and she felt the pain…and it hurt like hell.
Narcissa removed the knife and Hermione collapsed, grasping her side, her body hitting the floor as she scrunched her eyes together. She could hear Narcissa yelling for Draco, but Hermione could hardly pay attention to that. Hermione pressed her hands to her skin as tightly as possible to try and stem some of the bleeding, but there was no way to accurately judge how well she was doing.
She tried to think of any healing spell, anything at all, but her mind was a complete jumbled mess. She was in pain, so at least that was a good sign. The area hadn't gone numb yet. She could hear Draco yelling now, he was right next to her. She forced her eyes open to see him yelling at Narcissa and she briefly wondered if he was capable of killing his own mother. The last thing she saw was his wild eyes as he took out his wand, aiming it right at her.
"Ginny, calm down."
Blaise.
"No, I will not calm down! Your psycho of a mother did this. She could die, Draco!"
Ginny.
"Ginny, he knows that. Look at him…"
Blaise's words came out harsh and biting, and she imagined that he was gesturing to Draco, wherever he was. There was a long silence, one in which the only sound Hermione could hear, was the steady beat of her heart. She heard footsteps approaching her, wherever she was, before she felt the soft caress of fingers grazing her own.
Someone slowly exhaled, the repressed irritation in the action evident.
Draco.
"Leave…now."
His words were quiet, swirling with authority that left no room for argument. Hermione heard Ginny huff, the sound of she and Blaise leaving before she sank back into unconsciousness.
She stirred to the feel of long fingers intertwined with her own. The other hand was brushing along the expanse of her arm, a soothing feeling that calmed her heart, she was reluctant to admit. It was quiet for a considerable amount of time before he began to speak.
"The very first time I knew I wanted you, was at the Yule Ball. Humph, I know. What a cliché, right? The guy realizes what was hidden underneath his nose all along the minute the girl gets all dolled up…except it wasn't like that."
The fingers were brushing her shoulder now.
"That night…for the first time in my life…I felt an emotion that I had never felt before. I was angry with both you and Krum. I wanted to curse him…maybe even kill him. I imagined all sorts of things that he could do to you that night…and it just made me angrier…"
Draco scoffed.
"I'm sure you can guess what I was feeling. You're Hermione Granger, so of course you could deduce. I didn't, though. I had never felt it before, I had never had any reason to feel it before. Can you imagine my complete shock at realizing that I was envious? It took me even longer to realize why that was so…"
He exhaled, trailing a finger down her arm.
"I wanted you. You looked…a vision in that periwinkle dress. You were easily the most beautiful witch in the room…and you weren't on my arm. No, you had come with Krum. You didn't pay me any mind and that infuriated me even more."
He sighed, a long tired sound.
"I wanted to Crucio you…and I wanted to shag you..."
Hermione's heart stuttered within her chest at this confession.
"It's the oddest feeling in the world, you know? Being incredibly angry with someone all the while wanting to throw them down and fuck them stupid. Then again, I have the strongest feeling that you understand…"
She heard him stand, slowly walking around the room.
"From that moment on, I did whatever was necessary to get your attention, to get you to look at me with those deep, brown eyes."
He was beside her again, his fingers running through her hair.
"Night after night, I've imagined what it would be like to gaze into those eyes while I give you pleasure you've never known. I want to wake up to those brown eyes every morning for the rest of my life. You've bewitched me, Hermione…"
His lips brushed her ear, one hand rubbing circles onto her side.
"The things I've done, the people I've hurt…the people I've killed… None of that is going to be in vain. There are people after you, people who are trying to take you away from me-," he cut himself off, huffing.
He took a deep, shaky breath, grabbing her hand and bringing it to his lips.
"You are my life, Hermione, and I will kill every single one of them if I have to."
"Blaise and I went away. I realize now that we needed it. I told you once before that everything happens for a reason, and I believe that now more than ever. I wasn't ready to be a mother, especially now with everything that's going on. Besides, as much as I like to pretend that I'm perfectly happy here, I do miss my family. I would have wanted to tell my parents that they were going to be grandparents. I would have wanted to tell my brothers that they're going to be uncles. It's something that I would have wanted to share with them."
Ginny sighed.
"Draco told us about what happened with Lestrange, Hermione. I wish…I wish that I had been here for you. Maybe you wouldn't be where you are right now if I had been. However, like I said, everything happens for a reason and…"
Ginny scoffed.
"…and I don't think I've ever seen Draco look so scared in his life. I've never seen him so angry, so out of control, so conflicted. Hermione, he… Narcissa-," Ginny broke off with a sob.
Ginny sniffled, taking a deep breath.
"When you wake up…I don't know what you'll be waking up to. It's getting bad, Hermione. She's coming for you and I don't know if Draco will be able to stop her. To be perfectly honest with you, I don't know which outcome I fear more; him killing her or her killing him. Blaise has been talking about it for a while, about how Draco seems to be doing his own thing. How Draco is fighting for one side and one side only; his own."
Ginny grabbed Hermione's hand, squeezing it.
"If he kills her, he's done for. He will have chosen you, a muggle born, over them."
Hermione exhaled, taking in the noises around her as her hearing was the first to return. She noted that it was quiet. Then came the feeling, and her body felt like it was weighed down with sand. How was it possible to feel sluggish when she hadn't even started moving yet? Her entire being felt tired, including the little things like her fingers and her toes. It took almost all of her strength to force her eyes open.
Surprisingly, the room was dark. Save for the moonlight shining in through the balcony windows, of course. The room was bathed in the eerie low light, casting shadows here and there. As Hermione's eyes landed on the black couch across from the bed, she then realized why the room looked so familiar. She found herself relieved to be in a familiar place.
She pushed herself up onto her elbows, wincing at the slight uncomfortable feeling in her side. She pressed the palms of her hands into the mattress, attempting to push herself into a sitting position when she let out a loud hiss. Someone moved so suddenly beside her and she shrieked in fright at the silhouette of a figure beside her in the bed. She stared at the figure and it seemed to stare at her too before the room was suddenly bathed in light.
Hermione's hand was pressed to her chest as she attempted to calm her erratic heartbeat. She had not even noticed that she was not alone in the bed. She stared at Draco for what seemed to be a long time, drinking him in.
His pale hair was unruly, letting her know that his slumber was not a peaceful one, instead filled with much unrest and many toss and turns. His hard, piercing eyes softened ever so slightly at the sight of her. he scooted closer, reaching out to run his hand down her face and Hermione remained still, unsure of what to do, unsure of what was about to happen.
She didn't have time to dwell on that thought long before his lips were suddenly covering hers with a fierceness she had never seen in him. One hand cradled the back of her neck while the other was on her arm, then her leg, back, stomach, never staying in one place too long, as if he were trying to get the feel that she was really here. Hermione surprised herself when she did not pull away.
She welcomed the feel of his hands on her, his lips on her own, the taste of him within her mouth. He nipped and tugged on her lips, their teeth gnashing together as he attempted to breathe her in, keeping her essence within him. She twisted in his arms and she winced again, letting out a small cry of pain.
Draco pulled back, cradling her face within his hands as she laid her hand on her side. She looked up in time for him to graze his lips against her own. He exhaled, the air blowing around her face.
"I thought that you would never come back to me," he breathed against her lips.
"How long…?"
He closed his eyes, resting his head against her chest.
"Two weeks. The healer said that she could only do so much, the rest was up to you and your own body…"
Hermione frowned, quite alarmed as his words reached her ears. She had been unconscious for two weeks straight…she'd been in a coma, basically. He turned his head, pressing his lips against her collarbone.
"There was so much blood…it was all over the kitchen floor, me…you."
Hermione's heart skipped a beat as she recalled trying to frantically come up with any healing spell that she could think of. Her mind had drawn a blank.
"Narcissa?"
Draco stiffened against her and before she knew it, she was alone in the bed.
"Weasley and Blaise have returned, they've been worried about you," he said, walking towards the mirror and fixing his hair.
Hermione frowned, worry growing in the pit of her stomach at his avoidance of her question.
"Draco…"
"Of course, Ginevra was being a nag, per usual. Somehow, some kind of way, this became my fault. Although…I suppose she isn't wrong," he scathingly murmured that last part.
"Draco…where is Narcissa?"
"You pulled through, though. I knew that you would…"
Hermione huffed, throwing the covers off of her and immediately hopping out of the bed. Only to collapse onto the floor as soon as her feet touched the ground. She winced, her hands and knees taking the brunt of her fall. His hurried footsteps approached her and he bent down to swing her up into his arms, one arm underneath her legs, the other underneath her back.
"You're still incredibly weak. Just let me know when you need to-."
Hermione reached up, pressing her fingers around his jaw.
"Where is Narcissa?"
His eyes hardened, jaw clenching as an unfamiliar emotion passed through his eyes. Hermione's eyes widened as she recognized the emotion to be sorrow. Her heart sank down to her stomach and her throat became incredibly thick all of a sudden, the realization seeping into her bones.
"What did you do?"
Her question came out soft, as if she were too afraid to really voice, too afraid to get an answer. Draco turned his head, cold eyes downcast.
"What did you do," she asked more forcefully this time.
He closed his eyes before collapsing onto the edge of the bed with her still in his arms. He opened them, a hollow, defeated look swirling within their depths.
"I did what needed to be done."
His words washed over her like ice water and Hermione's mouth fell open in disbelief. She brought her hand up to her mouth, trying to hold it in, but she failed. Tears skipped down her cheeks at an impressive pace, collecting where her hand met her skin. Draco slowly turned to look at her.
"Why are you crying? She tried to kill you…"
How was it that she had long realized what he could not? How did she tell him that Narcissa had, in fact, not been trying to kill her, but instead tried to force Draco to realize the possible outcome of his behavior? How did she tell him that this was his mother's extreme way of getting him to shape up? Narcissa had wanted him to be happy, so badly that she had risked, and ultimately forfeited, her life while doing so? Hermione said none of this, though. Instead, she simply said:
"Draco, she was your mother."
"…and you are my life," he said with conviction.
Hermione bit her lip.
"She knew what you meant to me and she tried to take that away from me. She tried to take you away…"
His arms tightened around her and Hermione glanced down, unsure of what else to say. A cold feeling washed over her as it finally sunk in that Draco had killed his mother. The only person in the world he was possibly capable of loving. He had done so for her, had killed her because he saw Narcissa as a threat to them. If she'd had any doubts before, they were long gone now as she realized that this man had no boundaries. This man knew no limits when it came to ensuring that she would remain by his side forever.
"Ginny, I'm alright."
A tired, yet amused, voice said, the sound muffled by the other girl's hair.
"I know."
A small voice whispered.
"…so you can let go now. You could have let go fifteen minutes ago."
Ginny sniffed, reluctantly pulling her arms away. Her eyes and nose were red, almost matching her hair.
"I know, I'm sorry. I just…you scared me. You're okay and I just want to make sure."
Hermione sighed and grabbed her hand, heart clenching at the expression on Ginny's face. She looked like a scared little girl, reminding Hermione of the simpler times back at Hogwarts…before Blaise…before Draco…
"I know, I know. It's alright… I'm fine," Hermione reassured.
Ginny shakily nodded.
"Yeah, you just…you really scared us. I thought that you were never going to wake up," Ginny whispered, on the verge of tears again.
"…but I did."
"Yes, yes. I should have known. You're Hermione Granger, you're a fighter."
Hermione gave a half smile and Ginny returned it.
"Yeah…I am," she whispered.
"We didn't know what to do. The healer told us that it was just going to be a waiting game… That was the worst possible thing she could have said to Draco," Ginny murmured.
Hermione frowned in confusion.
"What do you mean?"
"He killed her," Ginny said, as if it were the most obvious thing in the world "…he just…snapped."
Hermione's eyes widened as she took this in, leaning back to rest against the headboard. He conveniently left that part out.
"She told him that there was nothing else she could do and he snapped her neck on the spot."
Hermione was not surprised by this in slightest. When it came to her, his reactions always exceeded well past the extreme. This was who he was, she had accepted it.
"…it's crazy, isn't it?"
Hermione slowly looked up, eyes connecting with Ginny's.
"What is?"
"There's no safer place for you than by his side. Oddly enough, it's also the riskiest," Ginny scoffed.
Hermione looked down again, not sure how to respond to that.
"He told me about Narcissa," Hermione murmured with a frown.
"Yeah. That's something that I would much rather forget," Ginny quietly responded.
Hermione glanced up, startled.
"You…you saw?"
Ginny swallowed, nodding.
"It was after the healer told us that she'd done all she could. When he was done with her, he went downstairs… Blaise tried to stop him, but he was too far gone. I just…I don't understand why she would do that to you? She had to have known what would happen. Then again, maybe crazy just runs in the family," Ginny whispered.
Or maybe it's just contagious, Hermione thought.
"This is ridiculous," Hermione sighed, sinking into the duvet.
"Believe me, princess, I would much rather be anywhere else but here, but you know how he is. You almost died, unconscious for a little over two weeks straight. You'll be lucky if you can even go to the bathroom by yourself," he replied, completely uninterested.
Hermione didn't appreciate his tone and glared up at him as he sat on the couch, flipping through a book that clearly held no interest for him. Even though she and Blaise had somewhat buried the hatchet, so to speak, it was going to be a long time before they were ever best buds. She was still bitter about the fact that he had shown his true loyalties in the worst of ways, even if she had long expected it to be that way. She also knew that a part of him, and she wasn't sure how small or big that part was, still blamed her for Ginny's miscarriage. Somewhere deep inside, a small part of him hated her.
"Then leave," she demanded of him.
She didn't want him there any more than he wanted to be there.
"We both know that I am far from an idiot. Therefore, that's not going to happen any time soon," he smoothly replied.
Hermione sighed again, feeling trapped in the now sickeningly familiar room. Draco was scared to leave her alone for even a minute and it had grated on her nerves since day one. She wouldn't even be in this mess if it weren't for him.
"You know, there's something that I've always wanted to ask you…"
Hermione cautiously looked up, his tone worrying her and the look in his eyes worrying her even more.
"Just because you've always wanted to ask, that doesn't guarantee that you'll get an answer," she replied.
"Humor me," he said, throwing the book aside and rising from the chair.
Hermione crossed her arms over her chest, deciding that it couldn't hurt. Besides, it wasn't like she had much else to do.
"Why didn't you run off with Teddy?"
Hermione's eyes widened slightly, this question being the very last that she was expecting.
"I…I don't want to talk about Theo," she quietly responded.
Theodore was still a sore spot for her and Hermione was sure that Blaise knew that. His head was tilted to the side as he gazed down at her.
"I'm just curious. I mean, Theo is virtually the perfect guy…"
He slowly walked towards her.
"He's handsome, from a well off family, very kind and sensitive, something I know you girls love so much…"
The mocking tone in his voice grew the closer he got.
"He's exactly the kind of mushy guy who would run you a hot bath at the end of the day and listen to you rant about all of your troubles," he chuckled, a dark and menacing sound.
Hermione glared up at him. He pressed one hand against the headboard, a Malfoy like smirk gracing his lips.
"I just didn't."
He frowned.
"Why not, though? Did you not find him attractive?"
"Don't be absurd," Hermione scoffed.
Theo was an extremely attractive guy and they both knew it. He and Draco shared some similarities in their appearances, their fair skin and tall stature, for example. However, appearance wise, Theo was the dark to Draco's light. His blueberry colored eyes contrasted his midnight black hair perfectly. His long lashes and full pink lips gave him some femininity, softening his features, but his sharp jaw structure equally made up for that. To put it simply, they both knew that Theo was a dreamboat. They both also knew that any girl would have jumped at the chance to have been in Hermione's place.
"Well, then what was it? Why stay?"
"You know why…"
"Do I? Did you have such little faith in Teddy, that you thought him so incapable of protecting you from Draco? Or is that simply the easiest thing to tell yourself?"
"I didn't want to risk his life like that," she whispered, looking up at him.
He had a thoughtful look on his face, before shaking his head.
"Mm, you know what? I just don't believe you…"
"Well, it's a good thing that I don't really give a damn about what you think, Blaise," she bit out.
"What kept you here, huh?"
She bit her lip, refusing to look at him.
"He was offering it all to you, Hermione. Why didn't you go?"
She turned away, opting not to answer him, refusing to give him the satisfaction. She remained still as he leaned in, lips next to her ear.
"Teddy was offering you the world," he whispered.
She whipped around, her reply already falling from her lips before her mind had time to process.
"And Draco's not?"
Blaise leaned back, looking at her with a raised eyebrow, the smirk even more sinister now. Hermione's mouth parted and she blinked as she realized what she'd just said and she swallowed, glancing at her lap before looking away. Blaise made a humming noise before walking away with a chuckle, picking up where he left off with his book.
As he sank into the couch, glancing up at her over the brim of his book, Hermione knew that she was right all along in assuming that he was no better than Draco. He was just as bad, but much more clever about hiding it. Both he and Draco were two different devils of the same hell.
"Where the hell were you?"
That was what greeted her almost immediately after she stepped into the room and Hermione looked up in exasperation. She used the last bit of her strength to pull herself inside of the room, but Draco was already there, one arm around her waist and the other being used to close the door.
"I was downstairs. Last time I checked, that wasn't exactly a crime," she breathed.
The journey up the stairs had taken more out of her than she thought. Hermione wasn't sure how long it would take for her full strength to return, but she needed it back and fast. She didn't think it possible for Draco to be any worse, but this was clearly the universe's sick way of proving her wrong. Wherever Narcissa was, she was no doubt smiling fondly.
Hermione, on the other hand, wasn't. She saw this as nothing more than Draco not wanting anything to happen to one of his 'possessions'. She was like a glass vase, delicately handled and hovered over because he was afraid of her getting a single scratch.
He huffed at her response and Hermione felt her anger rise.
"I'm in this predicament because of you. I am here because of you. If you want to be angry with anyone, be angry with yourself, Draco," she harshly said, attempting to move past him.
His hand shot out like lightning, halting her in her place so fast that it startled her. She slowly looked up, her hard brown eyes meeting his equally cold silver ones. His face was only inches away from her own as he stared into her very soul.
"That is where you are wrong, sweetheart…"
"What on earth are you-?"
"Did Theodore not offer you a way out? Did you not have your chance to run?"
Hermione clenched her jaw.
"You chose to stay."
"…and we both know why! You would have found us, you would have killed him. Theo didn't deserve that," she angrily replied, yanking on her arm.
He only pulled her closer, his lips grazing her ear.
"That's not what I heard," he purred.
Hermione closed her eyes, cursing Blaise to the darkest and lowest pit of whatever hell there was.
"When are you going to start being honest with yourself…?"
He brushed his lips along her jaw.
"…you fight and you fight. One of these days, Hermione, one day soon…you're going to grow tired of fighting. You'll grow tired of lying to Ginny, to Blaise, to me…to yourself," he whispered.
He pulled away, one hand bracing the back of her neck while the other ran down her in between her breasts, resting on her stomach. He tilted her head back, forcing her to look up at him.
"You want me, Hermione. Not just my body, no…no, you want all of me. Why is that so bad?"
Hermione stared at him, heart pounding within her chest and she swallowed, eyes watering. Her lips parted and she let out a shaky breath, one lone tear skipping down her cheek.
"You killed Dumbledore. You allowed those Pureblood extremists to take over our school, our Ministry. Merlin knows what my friends and school mates are going through, right now. You…you're fighting for someone who wants to see me, and anyone like me, dead-."
"I fight for me," he snarled.
"It doesn't matter! If you stand back and do nothing, then you are taking the side of the oppressor."
His hand tightened on the back of her neck.
"You've hurt people, innocent people. You've killed and continue to do so and take pleasure in it. You tortured Theo for loving me, something you know you could never be capable of…"
Hermione swallowed.
"You killed your parents-."
"For you! I did all of those things for you! What more do I have to do? What more do you need of me?"
Hermione cried as he shook her, her hands digging into his arms to steady herself.
"I didn't ask for any of that! I didn't ask for any of this!"
Hermione sobbed, chest tightening.
"I don't want this. I don't…I don't want…to want you. It's unfair that I find myself in this predicament when I didn't go looking for it," she forced out.
"Well, that's too bad, because you're not going anywhere. You…are my life…"
Hermione had a sense of déjà vu, the words sounding all too familiar.
"You're all I think about. You've consumed my very being. I've tortured for you, I've killed for you and I would gladly do it over and over again, as many times as it takes…," he said through clenched teeth.
His hands moved to her arms, tightening ever so slightly. Hermione swallowed as he chuckled, a hollow, humorless sound.
"It's…it's so frustrating because I know that you feel the same way. You can't help it, just like I can't help it, but you… You continue to fight it, to deny yourself of what you truly want while it seems that I have no choice in the matter," he harshly whispered.
Hermione let out a shaky breath.
"You're a monster, Draco," she replied in an equally quiet voice.
His jaw suddenly clenched and his eyes grew dark as he straightened up, pulling her up with him. He yanked her closer, their faces a hair's width apart.
"It seems that we've lost out footing somewhere…"
Hermione's chest heaved.
"It seems that you've forgotten so quickly, so, let me be so gracious as to remind you…"
He reached up, trailing a finger down her cheek.
"You are mine as much as I am yours…"
A touch on her neck.
"You are it for me and I know that the feeling is more than mutual. If you manage to escape, I'll hunt you down…"
A brush against her shoulder.
"You can hide all you want, but I'll find you…"
His thumb rubbed along her stomach.
"You can dare even try to move on…," he chuckled, finding that amusing "…but we both know that I'll gladly slit his throat on the spot."
Hermione's heart sank, nothing but truth in his words. He grinned.
"Why put yourself through that…why put anyone else through that, when we both know the outcome?"
Hermione looked down, but he grabbed her chin, raising her face. He bent down, looking into her eyes like a parent would a child.
"Aren't you tired of fighting, Hermione?"
She bit her tongue, already knowing the answer to that.
"Don't you want to just breathe? Relax…?"
She tried to look away but he held her chin in between his fingers with an iron grip.
"Don't you want to be free of that tightness in your chest? That weight on your shoulders?"
Hermione swallowed, eyes never leaving his as he leaned in.
"Don't you just want to be worshipped? Don't you want to forget about all of the heartache you've suffered? Don't you deserve that?"
She did deserve that and she began to nod, but thankfully caught herself. It was too late, however, Draco had already seen. A slow smirk danced across his lips as he snaked one arm around her waist, brushing his lips against her ear.
"Don't you want to know what it really feels like to make love? To be tangled up in someone who you crave?"
Hermione tried to pull away, but he tightened his grip, leaning her back, exposing her neck. His lips grazed her neck, teeth scraping the flesh.
"Don't you want to know what a first time is truly supposed to feel like?"
The door flying open broke the spell, and Hermione found herself upright, still in his arms, head swimming with confusion. Blaise stood at the opening, a long black coat covering his being with two more in his hand. Two, which he threw at Draco.
"Everything's ready. We need to be long gone within the next hour," he said.
Draco quickly slid into his coat and proceeded to put her arms through the other. Hermione blinked, the fog finally clearing.
"Ready? Ready for what? Where are you going?"
"We…," he gestured to all of them "…and Weasley, are leaving."
Hermione's eyes widened, the confusion returning.
"Leaving? No, absolutely not. I'm not going anywhere with you," she responded.
The thought of how close she was to giving in just then was fresh in her mind, scaring the hell out of her.
"That's too bad because you don't have much of a choice. She'll know to look here," he said, buttoning his coat and guiding her out of the door.
"What-who- no! What is going on?"
She looked over her shoulder as Blaise closed the bedroom door behind them, hurrying past them down the stairs. She was suddenly brought to a halt, Draco's piercing eyes boring into her own.
"Sweetheart, have you forgotten so quickly whose husband you murdered?"
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