PART VIII. "I'm a Ruin."

"I'll ruin you. I've been doing things I shouldn't do."

- Marina Diamandis.

Kurama.

"Earthquake? No, I didn't feel anything."

I managed to wire the home phone to my office in Makai when Mother left on her honeymoon. When she called home, it went through to this phone and she was none the wiser.

I stared out my office's window, watching the purple lightning crack in the red Makai sky. The sky was the same since I left—brooding and looming. Dark clouds often hung in the sky above, though they rarely held rain.

Aside from its inhabitants, the only other difference between our dimensions was the sky. Ningenkai's blue was bright and gave one a feeling of safety in comparison to Makai's dirty red. To those who never set foot outside of Makai's dimension, they wouldn't know any other feeling than the looming burgundy sky. To those privileged enough to see Ningenkai's blue sky, it was obvious Makai's atmosphere wasn't eerie just because of the sheer amount of youki.

Below the sky in Gandara, were buildings, and farther out on the horizon was the greenery I was so accustomed to.

"Are you sure you'll be fine alone for a few more weeks?" Her question prompted me to return to our conversation.

"Yes, don't worry, Mother. Stay on your trip as long as you like." I forced her on an all-expenses paid trip out of the country during my summer vacation. "You deserve it. You and Kazuya deserve some time alone… No, don't worry about the house. It's in good hands."

Hanging up after more idle chatter, a subordinate appeared at my door. It was one of Shachi's men, which surprised me. Not even a day ago, I enraged the "second in command" during our first council meeting and he was already plotting my death. The lower A-level youkai at my door said Yomi requested my presence.

Unfortunately for Shachi, his brawn and youki meant nothing. I could outsmart him as I was now.

"You're tense," Yomi noted as we walked through one of the large hallways. Shachi's anger amused him at the time, though he hadn't showed it. "Staying alert to see if Shachi's following you?"

"No, but I wouldn't put it past him to try something," I replied, falling in step behind him.

"Only one council meeting and he's already plotting your death. You sure have a way with others."

I raised an eyebrow, keeping my tone flat. "For a blind man, you see many things."

"I heard his heartbeat quicken, heard his blood rush through his veins, and the blood pool in his eyes as they turned red." Sometimes I wondered if he truly was blind, but every time I questioned it he reminded me he was in some subtle way.

His hearing was impeccable. He could hear the slightest movement, a shift in the air. Those who lived in his territory rumored he could hear everything inside it. Anyone sane would scoff at the idea—even his hearing wasn't that trained—but there were times when he noted or referenced things that made one wonder whether his hearing truly did make him omniscient.

"Losing my eyesight was part of what made me stronger. Now… let me guess what you foresee in half a year."

It took me a split second to remember what he was referring to: what I had said to Shachi that set him off.

"Hiei, Urameshi, and yourself will be the second in commands in half a year from now," he said. "Second in command is key to who prevails. That's what you always believed."

His taunt was suspicious, and I knew where it was taking the conversation. I figured he would keep beating around the bush, but he spoke what I feared he would.

"But before we let that happen, I think I should show you the other reason why I invited you here." He turned over his shoulder to smile at me. "After all, we should do this first before we continue entertaining the idea of you moving up."

I could only hope he didn't find the right youkai.

I thought about that night the entire way there. Yomi took me across the city, underground, to a holding cell. The hallways were long, cold and steely, and the door in front of me seemed to be the only one here.

"Can you guess who's behind this door?" Yomi smiled.

I knew who it was. Part of me wished he was wrong, that he found the wrong youkai. But of course, I didn't bother covering my tracks that well back then. At the time, I didn't plan on living a different life—if Yomi found out it was me who hired the youkai then so be it. If he ever wanted to come after me, I would handle him myself.

But now, I was singing a different tune. An entirely different genre.

"The one I've searched for all these years," he said. "He who took my light."

"You said your blindness helped you gain your throne," I noted.

"Right…" Yomi mumbled halfheartedly, walking to the number padlock.

I looked away as he punched in the code. I wanted fate to play a cruel trick on me, work me up this much to reveal it wasn't the youkai I hired.

"What's wrong, Kurama?" Yomi taunted. "Your heartbeat's picking up and your eyes are on the ground. Look up. I want you to get a good look at this."

The doors hissed open and something comparable to dry ice spilled out. The cold air traveled around the floor and into the hallway, and the light inside the cell turned on.

And there he was. The youkai I hired to assassinate Yomi a millennium ago. Starved, beaten, and tortured.

The room reeked of rotting flesh, feces, and urine, but Yomi walked inside without much care. I followed him, eyes unable to look away from the prisoner.

"The decay's gotten worse over the past few days," Yomi noted. "He doesn't talk much anymore; it hurts him too much."

That may work to my advantage.

Yomi reminded me of our days together as bandits raiding castles and towns for treasures and fame. I didn't much care for the trip down memory lane, but I pacified him, hoping to hear him veer off into a direction I didn't think he would. His anecdotes of "I didn't blame you" and "It must have been hard to follow through with calculating plans with such a loose cannon at your side" gave me a glimmer of hope.

"And until now, ten full centuries later, I didn't see you again, Kurama." Yomi's voice was growing more and more cheerful—more satisfied—despite its smooth intonation. His pitch never changed, but the words themselves held a sort of pride in them. "Now why is that? I figured the only way I could know was by finding the man who took my light. For a thousand years I searched for him, and even now I've yet to learn a thing."

There was no way Yomi wouldn't interrogate the youkai, unless he truly learned patience. A part of me didn't believe him, but I knew the idea of the youkai calling me out for my crime in front of Yomi seemed that much more enjoyable for him.

He began laughing, and I wasn't sure what to make of my predicament.

"Is there something you find amusing?" I asked.

"You, Kurama," he replied, again taunting. He turned to the youkai and walked towards him. "Your heartbeat slowed when you saw the state he's in, as if he's no longer a threat."

Yomi stopped in front of the youkai and kicked him, nudged him to wake up. "You, speak."

The youkai, chained loosely to the wall, grunted in pain and looked up—with no eyes of his own.

"Please, end my life, Lord," he grunted, challenging himself to speak through the pain. "I can't bear this torture any longer."

"Alright, I'll grant your wish, but first you must answer my question. The one you've been too scared to answer." He took after me in some ways, Yomi did. He waited for me to return. He knew if he made the youkai suffer long enough, he'd crack. And he did. "Who was the one who ordered you to ambush me and take my light?"

I refrained from inhaling sharply and instead held my breath; though I was sure he heard that as well.

With a raspy voice, the prisoner replied. "He had gold eyes. Cold eyes. Such cold and calculating eyes, and silver hair. He was a Youko... Youko Kurama."

I stared at the back of Yomi's head, waiting, wondering, until Yomi let loose a scream of rage. He picked his foot up and smashed his boot into the youkai's head, crushing it against the wall. Blood splattered against the wall and splashed on his jacket and pants. Bits of broken skull and brain matter flew to the floor haphazardly.

And then Yomi was silent, and I waited.

"And there it is," he said before turning back around to face me. "Of course, I long suspected it. I just didn't want to believe it. I just want you to know that I bear no grudge against you, old friend."

I could hear a familiar voice in the back of my head gnawing at me, reminding me of my human life. "That's the biggest fucking crock of shit I've ever heard in my entire goddamn life."

Of course, he was lying, but I couldn't prove it.

"In the enterprise of power, you made a business and you made decisions."

"Then what do you want from me?" I asked.

Did he do this to guilt me into helping him? Instill fear into me? What was his true gain, his ultimate gain, of doing this?

"The reason I invited you here, Kurama," he replied. "Is that I want you to aid me in this war as I aided you back then, despite my mistakes of immaturity."

It wasn't sitting right with me. Surely, there was more to it.

"I learned much from you, Kurama," he said, and then dealt a particularly low blow. Something that neither of us could refute nor deny. "I tried to model myself after you. I only brought up the past so we could move beyond it."

I chose my words carefully, kept my tone calm. "And if I say 'no'?"

His brow twitched and he cracked a smile. "Your human mother is on a plane right now."

I tried controlling my breathing and stopped the low growl from carrying out with his name. "Yomi…"

"At least, according to the files my agents supplied. That was nice of you to give them that trip."

Gritting my teeth, I suppressed as many emotions as possible. I knew I couldn't keep my family safe. I knew they could end up as liability, but I figured he wouldn't go so far to hunt them down countries away.

"I hope the plane doesn't crash," he mused. "Even a middle-aged couple dying in a plane crash doesn't get much attention in your human media."

I held my tongue, refraining from agitating or provoking him at all.

"Quite a life you had in Ningenkai," he continued. "But it led you back here to me—all because of mommy dearest. Her falling sick triggered the chain of events that put you back here. And yet, most people would feel real emotions in this situation. You're instead calculating how to save your mother."

It was near impossible to save them at this point. My only insurance for her safety would be to follow Yomi's orders, to play along. He knew that.

"But, I'm not sure whether I can say you want to save her because you love her or if you just don't want to lose control over the situation."

I kept my hand from twitching. I was itching to reach into my hair and pull out any plant to use as a weapon to silence him.

"Emotions were never something that handicapped you," he continued. "That's why it confused me to see you with that little human girl."

Shit.

"I wondered why you entertained the girl, bothered with her at all. I thought, 'Kurama would never involve himself romantically,' until I saw her social circle."

I held the sigh of relief tight in my throat.

"She's friends with the Barrier Regulations and Enforcement officers," he said. "So, of course, Kurama would use the girl. He doesn't want to part from mommy dearest."

He must not have dug deep enough in her life as he did mine or he'd know the truth. Hopefully, once they saw Natsume, they left her alone. Even Yomi didn't want to step on Reikai's toes.

I hoped he wasn't toying with me again.

"One question about her," he said. "If I may?"

"It depends," I replied.

"Shachi tells me she's hard of hearing," he said. "He saw her signing. Tell me, did you ruin her too? The way you did mommy?" I tried, despite the futility, to keep my heart rate from spiking in anger. "Or worse, me?"

She was hard of hearing, but not in the way he thought.

If he knew what was good for him, he'd stay away from her too. "She was born hard of hearing."

Yomi smiled and walked towards me. He stopped next to me.

"That's what I like about you. You're always calculating, methodically planning a way to win and keep control. So lend me your abilities, Kurama. When the war begins, the people will need someone like you to guide them."

He modeled himself after me. I wasn't sure why I thought this outcome would be any different.

Maya.

"Thanks, Yukina." Miyuki smiled at the ice maiden, and she returned the gesture after setting freshly sewn clothing in front of the ogre. "I appreciate it."

"No problem, Miyuki," Yukina replied, bowing her head a little before stepping out of the common room.

She left the shoji door open, knowing it was better to let the cool summer night air filter into the stuffy room. Her bright kimono disappeared down the open hallway, leaving nothing but the dark forest outside in my sight. Since it was night, most of the cicadas stopped crying, but a few still weren't finished.

I eyed Miyuki's clothing, trying to pinpoint why this didn't feel right.

I mean, our clothes ripped often. Since none of us had the money to buy new clothes every week or so, Yukina offered to stitch up our clothing. The clothing Yukina made me and Aiko were identical, spare the size difference, to save her extra effort. The shirt resembled the style of a qipao and tucked into the baggy karate pants that wrapped around our ankles. It was easy for her to stitch up when they tore and simple enough for her to make a new one if it ended up shredded. Miyuki was often seen wearing her cheongsam but would wear the black jumpsuit I first saw her in as well.

So Yukina dropping off patched up clothes wasn't unusual in the slightest. Except for one little detail…

"You still haven't told her, have you?" I gasped.

"No," Miyuki mumbled, shoving her face with rice. "I haven't yet…"

"It's been how long?" I didn't bother trying to hide my disgusted tone. "Months! Months since you told me you'd talk to her. Miyuki, really?"

"Leave it, Maya," she mumbled. "Let sleeping dogs lie while they can."

"'Can'. Okay," I scoffed, so fed up I had to set my chopsticks down and scoot away from the table. "Yeah, it's all at your convenience, Miyuki."

"Maya, please stop," she grumbled.

I'd let her slip by this long. I thought they'd talked in private. There was a time where Miyuki avoided Yukina. She would remove herself from the room if the blue haired youkai even so much as stepped foot into it.

But that was just Miyuki's guilt. After a while, I asked whether Miyuki told her, and she said she was still working up to it. I let it go.

It hit me just now because they still acted the way they did when I first arrived here. Friendly. Ignorant. After telling someone that, nobody would treat their abuser the same way. Nobody. Not even sweet Yukina.

Yukina probably would still be polite to Miyuki. I wouldn't put it past her to be civil, but this was genuine kindness radiating towards Miyuki.

That was questionable. That was so questionable.

"How many times did she say that to the people who hurt her?" I hissed. "'Please stop'."

Miyuki's fist slammed into the table, rattling our dishes against the wood. "Shut it, Maya! We all can't be perfect like you, okay?" she seethed. "Not everyone can accept what they did wrong. We're cowardly, scared, maybe even selfish. Maybe that's why we hurt them."

"You're right." I nodded, taunting her with a concerned tone. "Not everyone can be a good person and apologize for what they did wrong."

"You mean to tell me…" She leaned across the table, anger flaring in her burgundy eyes. "If you did something horrible, you would outright say 'sorry' after hiding it for so long? Even if 'sorry' wasn't near enough to fix the damage"

The pained look on her face when I replied hurt my heart, but the hurt was ephemeral. "I would say sorry as soon as I realized it was wrong. That's the right thing to do. If that's all I can do, I'll do it."

Miyuki began picking up her dishes, still filled with food. "Yeah, well, we can't all be perfect like Maya. It's just not in some of us."

"Yeah…" I nodded, nostrils flaring as irritation and anger boiled in my chest. "We're all just monsters." She took offense to that, worse than my other insults, but before she could open her mouth to rebut, I shot her down. "We sit there and work for the person who gives us what we want no matter who he's hurting in the end. Be it stealing candy from a baby or torturing a girl to get her tears and sell them."

Miyuki's anger washed away and then there was nothing. No emotion. "You think I'm proud of that?"

Before I could speak, the slight creak of the tatami mats by the shoji doors caught my attention. I didn't change my expression, despite being surprised. I didn't even so much as flinch or falter at the sight of the person who entered the room, but Miyuki still knew who was behind her.

Miyuki turned to face Yukina, whose normally cheery aura was quiet and calm. It was eerie, having never felt it like this, but far from dangerous. The room grew colder. Her chill was crisp; stung my skin at the faintest touch. The once warm room was slowly freezing over.

The two youkai stared at each other, Yukina waiting and Miyuki trying to form the best words possible.

But Yukina was the one to speak first. "You worked for Tarukane."

Miyuki nodded, and Yukina titled her head.

"For the Black Black Club."

Miyuki's lips twitched and she sighed. "Black Black Club, indirectly. Tarukane, directly."

"And you knew who I was when we met."

Miyuki shook her head. "No, not at first. You felt and sounded familiar. It wasn't until I learned you were an ice maiden that I figured it was you in the tower all that time."

I sat in the background, tense and unwelcome, but I couldn't leave. The tension and ice in the air was palpable. I could feel it latching onto me, weighing me down. I couldn't bring myself to leave. I couldn't work my legs.

"You want to apologize."

Miyuki stared at Yukina from across the room before getting on her knees. In our culture's most formal, sincerest form of apology, she lowered her head to the floor. The tip of her horn touched the tatami mat.

"I understand if you can't forgive me," Miyuki said. "But I want to apologize for what they did to you. For what I didn't do for you. I was selfish, looking out for myself without thinking about who I was exploiting."

Yukina began walking to Miyuki but didn't say a word. She let the ogre continue speaking into the tatami floor.

"I don't expect your forgiveness, and I don't deserve it. But I want you to know I'm sorry, for whatever it's worth."

It astounded me how remorseful she felt, how evil she must have been at the time. How could someone change like this and feel so remorseful, but still have the capability to hurt another so much? Could someone really change so much?

How could someone do those things to begin with if they were capable of feeling so bad afterwards? What could give someone a conscious when they clearly didn't have one before?

Yukina stopped in front of Miyuki, the cold air carrying with her.

Whether they forgot I was there or didn't care, I was thankful to see this. I was thankful they let me see this.

Yukina knelt and cradled Miyuki's face in her hands. She lifted it up, letting Miyuki look her in the eye.

So Miyuki said it again. "I'm sorry."

Yukina stared at the ogre in silence and Miyuki anxiously awaited her response. Burgundy eyes searched into the bloody red of the ice maiden's, hoping to read her, to know what she would say.

Would she ask Miyuki to leave? Would even the gentle Yukina show her distaste for her abusers by hurting them back?

I held my breath and waited, but then… Yukina surprised me.

"Nobody apologized," she said. "Nobody ever asked for forgiveness."

"I should have said it earlier." Miyuki nodded and tried bowing her head, but Yukina tightened her grip on Miyuki's face. She lifted Miyuki's head to keep looking at her.

"Nobody ever said it at all, so thank you." Her hands fell from Miyuki's face and rested in her lap. She gave a small smile, one of true appreciation that juxtaposed her cold aura. "Thank you for apologizing, Miyuki. I forgive you."

Miyuki's hand hid her mouth; blush covered her face as she sniffed. She looked away from Yukina, eyes watering.

I sat quietly in the room, a smile settling on my face. I couldn't believe I thought Yukina would hate Miyuki. The girl didn't have an evil bone in her body. Some could argue that was a fault, but in all honesty, we needed more Yukinas in the world.

As that thought passed through my mind, I remembered Aiko.

I felt the Yukinas in the world balanced the Aikos, but either way, it was their choice how to forgive the people who hurt them. I was glad Yukina could forgive those who hurt her.

But I also wouldn't blame her if she couldn't.

Aiko.

I pretended to admire the convertible models as Hayashi and I walked around the lot. The moon was high in the clear night sky but it wasn't bright enough to let me see the building. I stayed close to the glass walls so I could look for any talismans.

"You like convertibles?" Hayashi asked, checking the year on the model to see if it was new.

"No, I do like the color though," I replied, eyeing the last wall. We were almost back at the front entrance. "Beige is nice on cars, I don't know why."

"Beige is the fourth popular right now," Hayashi said. "Right underneath white, black, and silver."

No talismans. They had to be inside. Guess that made the most sense; it would be a little weird to have talismans planted outside in broad daylight. Still, if I couldn't find any inside I'd hate to look around after I scoured the offices and turned up empty handed.

"What kind of car do you like, then?" Hayashi asked, pulling my eyes away from the building.

I scanned the lot and picked out a nice car a few rows over. I pointed to the black sedan—it was an older year. "Realistically, something affordable." I then pointed to a model next to me: a suave, silver coup. "But honestly, something nice that looks expensive."

"There's no point in looking if you're not buying, bitch." Natsume's voice came from above, causing me to jump. I turned around to find the lot empty of others.

I looked up and was strangely surprised; I didn't know there were windows—let alone a second floor. I thought the stained black glass was just that—glass. Everything aside from the mechanic workshop attached to the back of the building was glass. It made sense now, though, because I had assumed the ceiling was high rising. The height didn't make much sense until now.

"Well?" She leaned out of a tall, open window, calling down to me. "Are you going to buy or are you just fantasizing?"

"Fantasizing," I replied.

"Well, get up here then," she called and then pulled herself back inside the building. The almost body length window closed as she disappeared.

I began walking back to the front door with Hayashi. "Is she working tonight or something?"

"Akane tries to work whenever she can," Hayashi replied.

We neared the entrance and when she opened the door, she pivoted on her heels and latched onto my shoulder with a more than firm hand. She stared me down. It was a strange look—not necessarily malicious, but not calm and aloof like usual.

This look didn't suit her—it wasn't her. This wasn't the calm, collected Hayashi. This must have been the Hayashi I never met before: Border Patrol Hayashi.

I stiffened, trying to look innocent. I didn't know if she found me suspicious or if I slipped up, because I'd been kissing ass this whole time. It would be such a shame and waste to see it all go down the drain just because I was looking for a damn piece of paper.

"Akane is glad you're learning, changing," she said.

I nodded and shrugged slightly under her hold. "Okay…"

"She's putting a lot of trust in you, bringing you here," she continued. "You know, she's been following in her father's footsteps ever since she could read."

I nodded again.

"I don't know how much longer she plans on entertaining you, or how far she's taking this, but I trust and respect her decisions." Hayashi's grip moved from my shoulder to my bicep and tightened. "But if you risk Akane's future, you will regret it."

My brows furrowed and I gave her the best confused look I could muster. "What… What are you talking about?"

"I've been with Akane from the start of it all," she said. "I'd hate to see her progress falter because she put her trust in someone who can't handle it."

Was tonight going to be something? If I asked the right questions, would Natsume answer them?!

I hid my excitement and continued to look as dumb as she played at school. "Um… yeah. I get it."

She gave a toothy smile and her grip loosened. "I'd hate to see anyone take her happiness away."

She turned back on her heels and headed inside. Cautious, I followed her. Our footsteps echoed throughout the empty dealership as we headed for the back. I looked around the open floor's ceiling, hoping to spot a piece of paper. So far, nothing.

I wondered if it'd set off any red flags if I asked now. Surely, it shouldn't… right?

"Hey, uh, Hayashi?" I asked.

"Hm?" She glanced over her shoulder at me. Her brown eyes lit up with what little light reflected off the sequins on her top.

"I've been wondering for a while now but…" She should have been wondering why I never asked until now. Asking couldn't hurt… right? She looked at me with nice eyes—sweet eyes. This was the regular Hayashi. Despite the little chill I got from her just seconds before, she always was the level-headed one of the three. "Why does the inside of the dealership feel so different from the outside?"

She laughed, letting her giggle bounce off the walls. "If Akane wants to tell you, she will."

"Okay… I'll ask her then…" I mumbled, feeling a smidgen of relief that she didn't take it strange.

It felt so off to outright ask these girls something. I felt if I didn't beat around the bush then I'd have a big "FAKE" sign on my forehead. But then, I felt if I didn't ask outright, I had a big "FAKE" sign on my forehead.

This entire time, I worried every movement or sentence I made was suspicious. I over-analyzed everything I did. I was paranoid, and it was mentally and emotionally draining.

As we neared the fire exit, Hayashi dug in her purse and pulled out a set of keys. She unlocked the door and we headed up the fire escape's stairs. I never did go up these before. Maybe something was happening tonight.

The staircase was clean, but the air was dingy and cold, like it was rarely used. The railing was clammy—and it wasn't my from hand.

When we reached the second—and presumably top—floor, we entered a wide, open room. The lights were off, but the moon was bright enough to let us see clearly. All along three walls were file cabinets that reached from the floor to the ceiling. The entirety of the last wall was a window, overlooking Tohoku's streets with the moon hanging overhead.

Natsume stood in the middle of the window, arms crossed over her chest. She looked out of place—we all did—in this room. Our clubbing outfits were far from professional.

"Welcome to our public files room." Natsume grinned. "Home of all the nasty, illegal youkai we've caught here. Well, them and the scummy fucks that managed to weasel their way into a legal contract."

"So… the dealership's an immigration office?" I asked, hearing the door we walked through open. I glanced over my shoulder to find Fukui closing the door behind her. She smelled of cigarettes.

Natsume nodded her head side to side. "Of sorts."

I looked back to her. "So is that why… the inside of the dealership feels so different from the outside?"

Natsume paused, blinked, and then laughed. "I was wondering when you'd ask that! Maybe one day you'll find out, but for now, I figured I could share this."

The public files. If the private files weren't here, they were either in Reikai or held in the computers I saw on some offices desks. I wouldn't put it past them to have their own network.

"So you bring those things in here?" I asked after a deep breath.

"No, like I said, this isn't really an immigration office," she replied slowly, choosing her words with care.

"Then what is this place?"

"This..." She smiled and her teeth glimmered a bright white in the moonlight. She put her hands out to her side, as if to welcome me to the room—to show off this brand new prize I won. "Is part of the light I wanted to show you."

I waited, wanting her to tell me, give me something—anything to bring back to Koenma.

"But that all depends on whether you're ready," she finished, hands planting on her hips.

"Ready for what?" I asked, and what felt like flimsy paper slapped my shoulders. I shuddered in surprise.

Fukui stepped up next to me and I took the manila folder from her. I looked to Hayashi and then Natsume, and opened the file. Another beastly youkai—scaly and oddly colored with horns.

"What's this for?" I looked up to Natsume.

"Long story short, he committed a crime that revoked his contract, and he's been evading us ever since," Natsume said. "And for now, that's all I can tell you about his crime. But what else I can tell you is that we're hunting him down tonight."

…

What.

"Us?" I looked around at the girls. "Why not the fucking SDF?"

Those useless bastards.

"They're the King's lapdogs. They don't catch illegals," Natsume replied flippantly, waving her hand around. "Usually other Barrier Officials round them up, but…" She began walking towards me, slowly, one foot in front of the other. "I want to see how you handle this. We've never gone out and fetched 'em ourselves before but I think it could be fun."

I didn't know what to make of this—I wouldn't have to hurt this guy too bad, right? Just beat him up and send him back to Makai. He broke his contract, after all…

"Okay, but like, I think we should change first," I said.

Heels, leggings, skirts—those weren't exactly hunting clothes. My skirt was already riding my thighs, and yeah I could run in heels, but I couldn't fight in them.

Natsume cackled, throwing her head back. "Trust me; you don't want to change out of your heels."

I couldn't fathom why…

They were all wearing leggings or jeans; I was the only one in a skirt. I was the one who had to worry... but I had a feeling flashing my underwear would be the least of my problems tonight.

Sosuke dropped us off in a sleazy part of town, and I was wondering if they'd really never done this before. I knew for a damn fact these girls couldn't fight, but they were all way too calm for this to be their first time.

This just wasn't sitting well with me.

"What does the file say?" Natsume asked, and Fukui flipped it open and read the address with a tired tone.

"Should be…" She looked at the rundown apartment complexes we passed by. "That one on the end."

Oh, we were just picking him up from his place. Phew… I paused, relief fading away as fast as it came. Why was that also not sitting well with me?

"What number?" Natsume asked as we approached the front of the gated apartment complex entrance.

"Six-forty-three."

Natsume pointed to Hayashi and she nodded, and then Fukui, who nodded as well. Hayashi stood next to the doorbell-intercom system near the main entrance as Fukui headed back to where Sosuke dropped us off.

"You're coming with me," Natsume said with a wink, grabbing my hand. I let her pull me along. "I'm so excited to try this out."

She led me into the dingy and damp alleyway next to the apartment. A particularly large rodent scurried across the ground and hid in the shadows. I shivered at the sight of the long, stringy tail.

"Here we go," she said as we rounded the corner to the back of the complex. It was even darker back here—at least in the alleyway there was some light from the street lamps.

When my eyes adjusted, I looked up the building, finding the fire escape. Natsume looked over her surroundings and then nodded with a small hum of approval.

"Okay, Ami!" she called and then turned to me. "Brace yourself."

"For what?" I looked around as she went to the wall of the building, next to the dumpster, and began rummaging through the various shit on the ground.

God, if she was going to touch garbage something was definitely up. Was this a lure to kill me out here? I looked around again, but we were alone.

The sound of glass shattering echoed throughout the dark alley. I looked around again to find nothing only before realizing there was one last direction to look: up.

And there he was, with tons of shimmering broken glass following him, falling to the ground. He'd jumped out the window.

"Aiko!" Natsume yelled. "Get him!"

A sharp whistling soared through the air, and I turned to the source in time to extend my hand. I caught the broken lead pipe with ease. The slime between my fingers made chills run down my spine, but I gritted through it and took a few steps back.

The youkai landed right in front of me within the second, and I swung the pipe like I was on home plate. He was fast. By the time I had the metal flying, he was already scurrying to the alley. I threw it after him.

It whistled as it spun in the air, and then smacked him in the back of his head. He yelped in surprise and stumbled, tripping over his feet as his hand reached for his head.

That was when Natsume came out of the shadows with a rusty crowbar and hit him in the spine. He cried out in pain and hit the ground as she dug her heel in his back.

"Running from Barrier Officials only makes your charges worse," Natsume tutted, wagging the crowbar in sync with each suck of her teeth. She twisted her heel further into his back, threatening to rip his t-shirt.

"You revoked my contract!" he snapped. "You took it for no reason! I haven't done any crime against humans while I've been here!"

"Yeah, uh huh." She lifted her leg up and stomped down on his back, and her black heel pierced through his skin. Blood spluttered out from under the heel as he cried in pain. "You know what you've done, you fucking mongrel."

"I'm sorry!" he screamed, writhing around in pain. "I don't know what I did!"

She yanked her heel out of his back and kicked him over. He scrambled away from her, but his legs didn't work the way he wanted them to—not with that gash near his spine. She kicked him into the wall of the neighboring building and he backed up against it.

"I thought we were just deporting him," I said, running up next to her and grabbing her arm. "Are we sending him back dead or something?"

She yanked her arm from my grip, not even bothering to look at me.

She brought the crowbar up to his face, pointing it at him accusingly. "If I don't handle this fucker, he'd just run and hide again! He knows what he did and he'll do what he can to escape deportation. I'll chop his legs off if I have to."

"I did nothing!" he screamed.

"Shut up, Christ," Natsume growled, swinging the bar at his head again. Blood splattered on the wall he leaned upon and on the cement below. "If anyone sees or hears you, I'll have to kill you."

He whimpered, curling into himself against the wall.

"Where the fuck is the car?" she spat, looking down the alley to the street. She then shoved the crowbar in my hand. "Don't let him run." She looked to him before turning on her heels. "If you have to kill him, I don't care. I'd prefer him alive but you do what you need to."

"W—wait! Why not just call them?" I called after her but she didn't reply. I looked down to the beaten youkai with a cracked open cheek, bleeding mouth, and welted face.

I wanted to reassure him things would be fine, but I couldn't. Tonight was some sort of test to her. I would do what I could and hope I wouldn't have to hurt him any more than I needed to.

I heard a slight shuffle and looked down at him. He was standing up, knees still bent since I caught him in the act.

"Come on, man," I sighed. "Don't make this any harder than it needs to be."

He gave me a wary look and then sunk back down on his bottom, hitting the cement with a thud. A few moments passed and I spent them pretending to pick lint off my black bustier top. With a sigh, I turned back to look down the alley and hoped Natsume would show up soon. She'd been gone a while now, considering Sosuke hadn't dropped us off too far away from the apartment. I wondered if there was another test for me.

I knew I had to play this part—the hating youkai bit—and hurt them… but she didn't want me to… kill this guy… Did she?

A heavy blow knocked the wind out of me, and before I knew it, I was rolling on the dingy ground. I sat up and found him hobbling away. He headed for the other end of the building—where another alley must have been.

I picked up the crowbar and cursed him under my breath. I didn't want to hurt him but I'd ruin everything I've done these past few months if I didn't play the part.

Dancing in heels? Check. Running in heels? Check. Fighting in heels?

Drunken, sloppy, not-even-in-the-box check.

I kicked off the black leather before running after him; I gagged as I felt the slime and grime wedge between my toes. I caught up to him easily and tried grabbing his t-shirt, but he immediately brought an arm back and bore his claws.

I jerked my head back and felt the wind from his claws brush against the tip of my nose. My blood ran cold—this wasn't training; I just narrowly avoided having my face ripped to shreds. He turned around, swiping at me with both hands. I dodged each swing by the shred of a hair, sidestepping his arms and ducking out of the way.

I saw a brief opening when I bent my knees. I dropped the crowbar and lunged at him. Left fist to the gut—he curled into himself and breath flew out his mouth. Another jab to the jaw and one to his ribs had him weak in the knees.

As he doubled over, I grabbed his wrist. Twisting it around, he pivoted with the force as I pinned his arm to his back.

I kicked him in the tailbone and sent him flying face first into the ground below near the garbage. I dug my knee into his back, grabbed the crowbar next to us, and slid it under his neck. Gripping the other side of it, I brought it up, lifting his head by his neck and twisting the gross metal into his breaking skin.

He grabbed at weapon, trying to pry it from his neck, but I pulled harder. He coughed, choked, and pulled his hands from the rusty metal.

"I told you not to make this harder than it already is," I hissed, and he coughed in reply, choking. "I want to let you go so we can walk back to the other end of the building, but I don't know if I can trust you."

His voice strained, cracking. "You can," he coughed out. "You can!"

I sighed and looked over my shoulder to see if Natsume was back yet. She wasn't.

I leaned in towards him again. "Don't make me draw blood this time…"

"I won't!" he spluttered, and with a sigh, I let go of the crowbar.

He fell to the ground, coughing up blood. I lifted him by the collar of his shirt and dragged him back to where Natsume left us. Just as I rounded the corner into the alley, she reappeared at the other end.

"Caught him trying to make a break for it," I said, shoving him into the wall. He stumbled and fell to the ground before it.

"Then let's make it so he won't try again," she said as I picked up my heels and began putting them on again.

Eugh, the slime on my feet was disgusting. I didn't want to ruin my shoes but like hell I wanted to walk around barefoot on this disgusting floor. I was surprised I didn't step on a needle already, let alone all that broken glass.

To my surprise, as she approached us, she didn't grab the crowbar from me. Instead, she lifted her foot and slammed it into his face. The heel of her shoe dug into his nose, piercing through the scales and cartilage, but did nothing to muffle his screeches. His screams gurgled in the alley, and my blood froze.

Jaw on the dirty floor, I was too stunned to move. I lost feeling in my arms and the crowbar fell to the ground next to me.

He continued screaming, and it only became louder when Natsume yanked her heel from his face. He held his face in pain and fell to the ground, screaming even louder. He couldn't keep himself upright—he could only writhe around. Natsume picked up the crowbar and then turned back to him.

She lifted him by his collar and shoved him upright against the wall. My head was getting light, swimming a bit.

I finally found my voice, meek as it was. "I already handled him."

The alley then turned red. I thought I was passing out until I realized it was Sosuke backing the car up into the alley.

"Not good enough," she said before turning around and whacking him in the head once more.

He fell so fast when his head hit the cement it came with a loud crack and blood splattered across the floor and wall again. He didn't move as blood pooled around him. He… Was he…? She killed him.

She killed him.

"Make it so he can't run again," she said, turning to me with specks of blood littering her face and clothes.

I tried scraping my jaw off the floor. "Wh—How?"

She chucked the crowbar past me, back near the dumpster where she found it. "How do you think?"

The car slowed to a stop behind her and the trunk popped open, bouncing a few times before settling to a crack.

And this was the moment. The one that made or broke my persona.

Was it worth hurting someone who was probably innocent? Even if he wasn't—nobody deserved to be treated like this. What was the worst he'd done?

"Turn this criminal into a fucking paraplegic, Aiko!" she snapped.

I looked down at the youkai and tried finding a way out of this. But I knew.

I knew if I wanted to find out more, I had to do this… If I went back tonight and reported to Koenma what I chose, he'd berate me, argue with me.

If I went back tonight without doing this, it was over. She was close to trusting me. She brought me on this escapade. She included me in border patrol business. This was my test. I was that much closer…

But I didn't want to hurt him.

But I was so close to them letting me in. I was so close to finding out everything.

"Look, I'm sorry," he yelled with a nasal voice and slurred, blood-gargled words. "I won't run again! I won't!"

With a shaky breath, I stepped to the youkai. He was still crying, writhing face down in the ground. I didn't want to hurt him.

He wasn't attacking me—this wasn't self-defense. Nothing could excuse what I had to do.

"What happens to him when you take him like this?" I asked, still looking down at the poor guy. "Are we killing him before we dump him in Makai?"

She didn't reply right away, but when she did, her voice was soft. It was just loud enough to make it out over his pleading and the humming of the car.

"One step at a time, Aiko."

I couldn't ruin this chance…

"I know it's scary at first, Aiko, but I need to know you can handle this," she said. "If you can't handle this, there's nothing I can do for you."

I tried stilling my trembling hands. With a deep breath to calm my nerves—albeit done in vain—I lifted my foot. I closed my eyes.

I wanted to back out. I didn't want to do this.

With a sharp exhale, I stomped down with all my might. I felt the cracking of scales, and then right after, the sickening crunch of bone underneath my foot. My stomach churned at the sound. He screamed louder, almost ear shattering, and my blood ran cold. My arms went numb. After what felt like hours, I opened my eyes.

My heel sunk into his back, between the ends of his shoulder blades. I stared at the blood as it gushed around my shoe. It pooled around his shoulder blades before spilling over his back and to the ground where it continued to flow like a healthy river.

Natsume patted my shoulder and gave it a squeeze. Her voice fluttered into my ears but I couldn't make out the words. My ears rang, drowning out his screams and whatever praise she gave me.

My head was swimming. I became dizzy. I wanted to lie down. I couldn't hear anything.

I hurt him. I ruined him… He'd never walk again.

My eyes stung, burned, as warm water clouded my vision. The stinging traveled to the bridge of my nose and trickled down into my nostrils as my head grew lighter, warmer.

I tried not to pass out. I tried even harder not to cry.